Writing - Characterizations, faults and strengths (was pro/antagonist)

[Joy]

Maybe if you want to use the child idea, then he could be the one trying to kill it and the innocence within the child's eyes can speak to his heart.

That was exactly what I was picturing! Thanks.

Hi, just needed to do my first post here...

[Joy]

Mae Govannan, White Knight! Elen sila lumenn' ometielvo. (A star shines on the hour of our meeting).

Welcome to the Downs. Have fun and post often. I'm glad you came here, girl! I hope that you have seen what I am planning and get inspired for your character as much as I have been from these guys here.

[Yerniel Vénea]

No problem! Anytime you need help, just ask me!

Thank you, and I was inspired for a character as soon as I read the story!
lol! I forgot did both Aragorn and Arwen die? Because I wanted mine to be a decendant of them...
BTW, to the person who posted after Joy: I forgot your name already but I love that pic in your sig! [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]

[Joy]

Aragorn and Arwen did have children. They had one son named Eldarion, and many unnamed daughters. After Eldarion, I have not been able to trace a family line, as I haven't found anything that Tolkein wrote on the subject.

[Yerniel Vénea]

Thanks for the complement on my pic! With the help of Losthuniel, she showed me a cool site! www.amybrownart.com and it has a bunch of AWESOME faery pics that Amy Brown painted with watercolors! I have only begun using watercolors and they are extremely difficult to use, so Amy is wonderfully talented!

So, after Eldarion we can add some history. I've always liked Aragorn's character.(And I still haven't seen the movie...)
I want my character to be a gentle warrior, Maybe Half-Elf, not entirely wrapped up in nature but with a greater understanding about it(Animal wise) than most humans.

Thank you for that site YV, so Much to choose from! I was caught between Spring Whisper, Rose, Bookworm(Me [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]), Maiden Sword and a handful of others.

If it doesn't show up, I could use some help putting it in my sig, I use HTML usually. Thanks again...

Nevermind, I got it. I chose..."Moon Swing" [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

...Or not...
Ah, I'll probably fix it tonight. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[Joy]

Hey, haven't been on in a long while! Just wanted to boost this back to the top and post what I have now.

Still trying to write Envinyatalis.

The Jewels of Battle
By Joy (KingdomWarrior)
Chapter One – Long Years Ago

As it is written in the Red Book of Westmarch, the Third Age ended with the War of the Ring and the Ring Bearers going over the Sea to the West. With the end of the Third Age, so ended the reign of the Elves in Middle Earth. Yet there were a few who remained, Elladan and Elrohir Halfelven, sons of Elrond and Celebrian of Rivendell, King Thranduil of Mirkwood, and Lord Celeborn of Lothlórien.

With the end of the Third Age and the destruction of Sauron, the Necromancer, the realm of Mirkwood was restored to its splendor and renamed Eryn Lasgalen, the Wood of Greenleaves. This is where my tale begins.

My name is Ainu Alassë, an Elf from the realm of Lindon, on the River Lhûn. This was once the realm of Oropher, the father of Thranduil. My great-great-great grandmother, Lindoameldawen, Beloved Maiden Singer, was the sister of Thranduil. After the departure of Oropher and Thranduil, she stayed in Lindon for her lover, Thronalarca, Swift Eagle. They were soon married and bore three children. The first, a son Furinecco, which means “a concealed spear.” Years later, she bore a daughter, Rínawilwarin, whose name means Crowned Butterfly. At her birth, many butterflies greeted her by lighting upon her head. Then, some time later, she bore Nyamelissenuruwen, Daughter of my Lover’s Death. She was thus named, for in her birth Lindoameldawen died.

After the passing of Lindoameldawen, Thronalarca departed with the children to the realm of the Wood of Grennleaves, where his Father-in-law reigned. The next few years were trying times. This was the beginning of the formation of the Last Alliance. For the next ten years, it was a battle to keep Sauron and his forces from attacking the Wood. Finally, in 3441, Sauron is defeated, but at great cost to Elves and Men. For in the heat of the battle, Oropher and two-thirds of his army was lost. But to the gladness of the heart of the Elves of Greenleaves, Thranduil returned to become King. Though he was battle-weary and deeply grieved, he quickly took to him a wife. And thus ended the Second Age.

Many years passed and the children grew strong and healthy. Rínawilwarin and Nyamelissenuruwen married sons of Thranduil’s chief advisor. Yet Furinecco desired to return to his homeland, the realm of Lindon.

Because of the peace between Mirkwood, Rivendell, and Arnor, Furinecco’s travels were fairly uneventful. After many days of travel, Furinecco reached the land of Lindon. He was amazed that many of the Elves were now gone. He hadn’t realized what a toll the War took upon the whole of Middle-Earth. He soon learned that the Lord Gil-galad fell in the same battle, along side his grandfather. This brought back many memories, which had caused him to flee the Wood of Greenleaves.

Furinecco wandered the land of Lindon from Forlindon in the North to Harlindon in the South. He even journeyed to the East, into the Realm of Arnor and Fornost. Finally, he settled in Mithlond, The Grey Havens, on the mouth of the Gulf of Lhûn. Some years later, as he was walking through the forest, he saw a very fair Elven maiden of the Noldor. There was a light that shone about her. Her hair seemed to be weaved with the purest silver. He was drawn to her beauty, yet dared not to speak. She seemed to glide thought the forest as she danced. It seemed to Furinecco that a spell had been laid upon him, for he could not move. There he caught a vision of butterflies dancing around her as she danced. He was entranced for hours, caught by the beauty of this maiden.

As the evening star appeared over the horizon, the trance was broken and he discovered that she was gone. Furinecco’s heart was broken. He lay upon the grass and waited. He waited till the dawn of morning, rising in hope that the maiden would appear again; in a vision or before him he did not care. As the sun rose into the morning sky, the dew glistening in the newness of the day, she appeared. She was standing shrouded in mist. Her raiment was white as freshly fallen snow; her sleeves were intertwined with silver, bright as the evening stars. Every move that she made was as fluid as the river itself. Her eyes were grey, yet deep and sad.

Furinecco was afraid to speak, but a greater fear yet held sway of his heart. He was afraid that she would leave him again. He longed to reach out to her, to touch her fair skin, to hold her body close to his. He stepped out from his place of hiding, the sun now full in the sky, its bright rays glowing behind him. As he walked closer to where she lay, a song came into his heart. He began to sing in the ancient tongue of the Elves.

Linda, lissëlinda (Beauty, sweet Beauty)
A Tula! (Come!)
Liltalya mápanë indonya. (Your dance has seized my heart.)
Milya, milya! (I desire, I desire.)
Nalyë melrina (You are Crowned with Love)
Lindanya, lissëlinda. (My Beauty, sweet Beauty)

At this, the fair maiden rose from her resting place. She wore a garland of sweet smelling honeysuckle, entwined with silver ribbons and sapphires. Her grey eyes met Furinecco’s dark blue. She spoke within herself, “My heart doth desire this one. The sound of his voice quells all fear of harm. But I must leave now, the day passing.” She started dancing through the forest, quickly weaving a path that Furinecco could not follow.

How his heart cried out in longing. He walked the forest, calling out the name that he had given her in song, Rînanmelth, crowned with love. “Rînanmelth, aníron. Rînanmelth, I desire you. Come to me, my love.” Into the late hours of the night, Furinecco wandered in seeming darkness. His heart was blackened; all hope had fled from him. It was in the moment of greatest despair that Love returned to him. He saw again the beautiful maiden, her raiment was as the midnight sky, glistening with the stars of heaven.

He called out to her, “Rînanmelth, my love!” Her heart was pierced by his words. She came to where he stood by the riverbank. “Rînanmelth, my love! I crowned you with my love since I first saw you. You captured my heart with your beauty; your dance entranced me in a dream. Aníron! I desire, I desire.” He took her hand and drew it to his heart and with the other he caressed her cheek. She softly spoke to him. “I am Silmariën, the Lady of the Silver Crown. I am the kinswoman of Gil-galad. I have endured much since his passing; my heart has been wounded, I thought, beyond repair. But now I see Love, my heart will heal and my soul shall soon rejoice.”

Furinecco and Silmariën walked hand in hand through the forest many days. They soon departed from each other, to make preparations for their marriage. After many days apart, the longing in their hearts grew, but soon the day of their union approached. The ceremony took place at the Grey Havens, King Thranduil of Mirkwood, his uncle, and Cirdan of Mithlond joined the hands of the two in marriage.

In the course of time, Furinecco’s heart began to heal from all hurts and he and Silmariën bore a son, so they named him Envinyatalis, which means “Sweet Healer.” After the birth of Envinyatalis, Thronalarca came to Mithlond. He watched his grandson grow strong, a warrior at heart.

A great day of sadness soon came, for Thronalarca was ready to depart and sail to Valinor. Before he boarded the ship, he laid his hand upon his grandson’s head and blessed him. He spoke a destiny upon Envinyatalis. “As you grow strong and fight long, there will come one from you who shall break evil’s hold. Stay true to the path that has been chosen for you. Namarië!” With that, he boarded the ship to Valinor.


Chapter Two – Courage to Stand

Envinyatalis grew stronger, encouraged by Thronalarca’s words. He knew that there was a time coming when he must leave Mithlond and travel to Rivendell, to join the Lord Elrond in protecting the lands. Yet that time was not now. He had much training in the art of warfare to learn. Many years Envinyatalis stayed in Mithlond, yet there was a growing restlessness within him. At times, he could hear the wind calling, calling him to battle.

In a night vision, Envinyatalis saw one come to him in the likeness of the Elf Lord Gil-galad. In the dream, he placed a weapon of strange craft into his hands. It was not an ordinary sword, in the craft of the Noldor, nor a Dwarvish sword. The blade itself seemed transparent yet was sharp as polished iron. The sword appeared to grow lighter in his hands as he wielded it. Then he heard words deep in his heart and they seemed to burn within him. "Eruanna anaië len antaina. Len anaië antaina i Macil Kalava, ya elya nauva ter ilyë yénilya. Ëa airë maranwë ya ëa lessë ar nosselyassë. Erina voronda an i aksa ya len anaië utúvië. A grace has been given to thee. You have been given the Sword of Bright Light, which shall be yours throughout all generations. There is a holy destiny that lies within you and your line. Stay true to the path that has been chosen for you." From that night on, a fire seemed to be in his eyes, a new strength flowed within him. Envinyatalis was an unconquerable foe.

He began to feel a greater restlessness upon him. He soon left Mithlond and traveled a little ways to Nogrod, the heralded land of Telchar the Dwarf who had forged the great sword Narsil of Elendil and Angrist, the knife of Beren. The land was mostly deserted, except for a few dwarves who stayed, in hopes of making Nogrod great again. There he met a dwarf that was of Telchar’s linage. Envinyatalis revealed himself to be the great-grandson of Oropher, who fought alone side of Elendil and Gil-galad.

Rundin Stealthhelm was the lord of the Dwarves that remained in Nogrod. When he heard of Envinyatalis’ linage, he welcomed him. There he remained for some time. He learned the craft of the dwarves in the foundries of Telchar. In his days at the foundries, Envinyatalis oft remembered the words that were spoken to his heart. He still saw the Sword lying upon his hands. How he longed to forge this sword.

He secretly began to gather materials for Kallasil, the Sword of Bright Light. At last, Envinyatalis said goodbye to Rundin and to Nogrod. He then journeyed to Khazad-dûm, and because of the friendship between Durin’s folk and the Elves of Lindon; Envinyatalis was accepted as a friend.

He returned home to Mithlond and there began to forge Kallasil. (Much story about creating the Sword).


Chapter Three – Journey of the Heart


Notes:

† Envinyatalis starts off pure in heart, innocent. Have him too trusting, gets hurt. Hardens, becomes bitter and angry. Final breaking point (possibly – in midst of battle, heavy killing, hears a newborn crying, mother hiding in brambles holding the baby. – Maybe child is wounded or either mother is close to death.)
† Envinyatalis’ war Cry –Witch-King of Angmar battle: The night has passed and the day has come. Cast off the darkness and place the armor of righteousness upon you! Stand and fight! I mornië waanan ar i aurë utulië. Ataruuma i mornië ar place I armor kala lyë. Tyulya and Fight!
† Have him marry Nyaelwenirë (My Heart’s Desire) Lumbulëwen (deep shadow woman) from Rivendell.
† Have Envinyatalis in Rivendell when the Fellowship of the Ring sets out.
† Last Chapter – Upon Tirion’s Shore??? At least the next to last chapter.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Does an antagonist have to be evil? What if there are two characters, both of whom are honourable, but whose lives diverge: one joins the army of his liege lord, the other remains at home and becomes embroiled in a dispute with a dishonest tax collector. The army is called in to quell the small rebellion and our two characters are forced into a personal conflict, which results in their mutual destruction. The wicked characters play a minor role, in fact are hardly mentioned, but their malign presence pervades the entire plot, especially in its culmination.

Just a thought.

[Shadowstrife911]

Originally posted by The Silver-Shod Muse

Yeah, that's what happens to me too whenever I get to writing. I get bored with character development and jump ahead to the battles or the adventures. It's fun, but tiring when you have to come back and fill the boring but necessary components in. Also, you run the risk of writing incompatibilities into your story. I do it all the time.

This is a problem that I used to have a lot but as I wrote more and more, I found ways to get around it. One idea that helps is try to develop your characters within the battle (Ie. Legolas and Gimli developing that bond during Helm's Deep).

I know this might sound obvious but many people simply 'section off' their writing. I've seen many people who write that have their 'BATTLE/ADVENTURE SECTION' that has absolutley no character development. Then to go with the 1st section they have the 'DEVELOPMENT/EXPLANATION' section where the main speeches, thoughts and development takes place.

[Joy]

Shadow, thanks for the comment. I know that in other writings, I have done this. I am trying to overcome this, but I'm not deep enough into the story to try to work this our.

Squatter, very good point. There will probably be some minor characters that will act in this way. I don't have those characters worked out yet. I am still trying to do a rough sketch of the main protagnists in Alassë and Laurië's family line. If I can round out each character, then I can add the "minor" interaction characters.

[littlemanpoet]

I have one small suggestion. Tolkien used contractions of Sindarin and Quenya for his Elves' names. The end product was usually a softening of the names by removal of harder consonants, making the name easier for everyday Elvish use. I'm not expert of Sindarin or Quenya. Nevertheless, I trust my ear for language enough to suggest, for:

Lindoameldawen, Beloved Maiden Singer - Lindamelwen or Limelwen

Thronalarca, Swift Eagle - Thronlarcin

Furinecco, concealed spear - Furneccor

Rínawilwarin, Crowned Butterfly - Rinwilwaren or Rinwilwen

Nyamelissenuruwen, Daughter of my Lover’s Death - Nyalissewen or Lissenurwen or Nuruwen

These are, of course, suggestions, but my main point is that you need to make the names something with which your reader is not intimidated. Make them sound beautiful and noble. That seems to be Tolkien's way.