When You Are Oppressed, Or Ten Weighty Reasons for Teenagers and Their Parents

[HerenIstarion]

Recently I was complained to by PM - certain parents laid down a ban for their child to come here.

The thread to follow is a result of my reflections upon the subject. As the last thing we wish for is the war between parents and children around the BD haunting issue (there must be a tension enough even without it, in case my MTV videoclip-based deductions may be trusted, o'course ), I think that parleys should be started off.

As far as I can judge, visiting BD is verily wholesome, not vice versa, and for the following ten reasons (or, when teenager (or anyone, for the matter) comes to BD, s/he achieves/learns):

1. Improvement of writing skills (anyplace)
2. Vocabulary improvement (the Books, RPG)
3. Basics of literary criticism (the Books, Sil public forum)
4. Basics of philology (The Books, Sil public forum)
5. Basics of historiography (The Books, Sil public forum)
6. Imrpovement of creative skills (RPG)
7. Improvement of typing skills (anyplace)
8. Basics of business language (The BD - announcements)
9. Improvement of communicative skills (Middle Earth Mirth, Novices & Newcomers)
10. Basics of cinematographic criticism (The Movies)

Of course, the place visited - virtue got pair relation is optional. The whole mix of it comes as one package from visiting any corner of the BD. But it is more concrete to have them separated. I believe that once parents consider the list given above (but you should be calm and clever, without nerves and histerics, no yelling, preferable behavioral pattern - convincing and sure tone of voice and steady eye contact), all prohibitions may be withdrawn.

Any ideas which may extend the list are highly welcome, as the list is hasty and from the top of my head (I like 'top ten' indexing, but the more, the better).

Just promise to let your eyes rest for ten minutes every hour (to avoid sight damage), and to make some excercise every two (and thus keep away from dangers your backbone is exposed to as a result of constant sitting). Also make sure that homework comes first - after all, said may need a BD as a resource - when one has a paper on Tolkien to write, per instance). It would be wise to keep said promises too.

cheers

[Morsul the Dark]

Keeps you off drugs LOTR is one reason I never did drugs

I think this site is good for all the reasons you said as well as others which I cant think of now

ok
1)no drugs(anything lotr)
2)debating skills(a fe topics this one included)
3)Problem Solving(quiz room)
4)Logical reasoning (cryptic clues)

[Lhunardawen]

I can totally relate to this. My brother and I had countless debates with our mum as to whether our LotR addiction (and with it, The Downs) does more harm than good to us.

But in this forum I have learned to analyze even minor details of the story, which is especially helpful since we discuss Literature in English class.

More to come.

[Imladris]

11. Improvement of logic/rhetoric (Books/Novs & Newcomers/whenever there is a point to be debated)

~~~~~ above was a cross posting and I don't feel like editing it ~~~~~

But also you learn to keep "purity" in works. IE, keeping fanfiction/RPG canon.

Also, discussing the books in depthly cultivates the mind and imagination. Hanging around on these forums forces one to think about the books, as well as putting their thoughts accurately into words. In a word, it helps you appreciate literature.

[Sirithheruwen]

My parents banned me, and the ban is still on.

That was a year ago.

[Child of the 7th Age]

Heren

I am in an interesting postion here. One of my offspring is a current, active poster who started out with one account and now has another. This poster's name shall go unspoken, since he/she wisely wishes to maintain an independent identity. (I even asked 'permission' to respond to this thread. ) I am unsure if there are other Downs families where more than one generation is posting.

I actually encouraged my offspring to try out this site after seeing the movies and starting the books. My reasons for doing so included many of those points you and others have cited above. Both as a mom and a former librarian and history prof, I have been incredibly impressed with the way many have "blossomed" in terms of their writing and analytic skills. Some have stayed on the site; others have gone on to other things, some of which were connected with writing and creative expression. I firmly believe that posting here can be a positive thing: both as a way to relax and to learn some things that have relevence at school and work.

As a parent, the kind of things I would be concerned about would be these: having schoolwork suffer; spending too much time in front of the computer so things like friendships, family life, or physical activity are shortchanged; and making sure kids follow the general rules about safety on the net. Other than that, I don't see a downside. Yeah, I know.....I sound like a mom! There is a lot of Sam Gamgee in me.

Is the issue really the Downs, or is it "time management"? Sometimes parents will respond positively if you offer to put limits on yourself, e.g., only after homework, or only a one-hour slot or thirty minute slot "X" times per week. Or do your parents simply not understand that this is a family friendly site, unlike a lot of other Tolkien ones I've seen? Or is it just their unfamiliarity with Tolkien? It's one thing seeing your child spend hours doing something that you understand and appreciate--watching baseball, for example. It's another to have them involved with something unfamiliar to you. Maybe the first thing to do is to find out their objection before deciding how to respond.

[Thorongil]

I agree that the problem could be the time. My mother thinks I spend too much time on the net, but I don't think she has a problem with this site. I myself can only find positive things about the site. Everyday I learn something new about LotR, I get to test that knowledge in the Quiz Room. I also get to practise my english. Being norwegian, I don't get many chances to do that.

[Mithalwen]

I would say that the trans-age trans-culture communication thing is a big plus... and given that LOTR so often appeals to people who have hit adolescence with an almighty thump...... it might even be a life-saver ..... I might have had a much happier and less isolated time in my teens had the net been around then .... lone geek ....... Teenagers are notorious for not talking to their own parents... I guess it is natural for parents to fear that their kids will get lured by some predatory pervert ... but the net can provide a wonderful outlet for self expression and a source of support.....