The Silmarillion- A classic Cult Comedy - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

narfforc · 04-22-2006, 06:28 AM

Have you ever thought of who would appear as your favourite characters if Tolkien had been a Comedy Writer for TV and Film

Eru: Expensive cardboard cutout with moving mouth parts, or Mel Brooks

Melkor: John Cleese

Manwe: Michael Palin

Mandos: Lurch

Aule: Phil Silvers

Feanor: Benny Hill

The Seven Sons of Feanor: Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, The Marx Brothers.

Fingolfin: Frankie Howerd

Melian and Thingol: Gomez and Morticia Adams

Luthien: Marilyn Munster

Beren: Eric Idle

Huan: Scooby-do

Carcharoth: Wil-e-coyote

The hand of Beren Erchamion: Thing (Addams Family)

Ar-Pharazon: Kenneth Williams

Sauron: Sid James

Hurin and Turin: Steptoe and Son

Huor and Tuor: Bernard Bresslaw and Charles Hawtrey

Elros and Elrond: The Likely Lads

The Orcs: Jerry Lewis and Jim Carey x1000000 by the wonder of CGI

The Elves: Any tall beautiful young narcissist, with long hair. Most Models will do.

The Dwarves: Danny DeVito, Cousin Itt and Mickey Rooney

The Dragons: H.R. Puffnstuff and Barney.

Well there's some to be going on with, if you can think of anyone who would fit the character better or ones I have missed, enter them here

Bêthberry · 04-22-2006, 12:37 PM

Let's see now, I would be sorely tempted to cast Jim Carrey as Tom Bombadil, but this is the Dillymarillion, isn’t it. I could try to pull a reverse Jackson and add Tom, but I’m not sure if our director narfforc would countenance two directors on this thread.

Still, it’s a shame there’s no Loki in The Silm.

George Carlin is good at foul oaths: Fëanor?

Bette Midler for Yavanna.

Gilda Radnor for Varda and Gene Wilder for Manwe.

The Smothers Brothers: The Two Trees OR Fingolfin and Finarfin

Lily Tomlin for Míriel

Whoopi Goldberg: Ungoliant

Carrie Fisher: Celebrian

Rowan Atkinson: Mim the Petty Dwarf, among many others

Rodney Dangerfield as Celeborn

Rich Little: Ulmo?

Mr. T: who else but Tulkas.

And, well, no time to do more now. A cast of thousands no doubt. Must ponder where to cast Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton.

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-22-2006, 02:58 PM

Here's my take on the Silmarillion as a comedy epic of epic proportions in an epic Epic! ... Its epic-tastic.

Beren = Roan Atkinson (Blackadder, Mr Bean, you know him!)
Luthien = Dawn French.

Sauron = Bob Mortimer
Melkor = Vic Reeves

What? It would be funny! Especially if there was a scene in the Void after the fall o Sauron...

Melko: So... erm... I see you got into the whole ring-making thing again.

Sauro: I told you not to mention that.

Melko: Calm down!

Sauro: You wouldn’t let it lie, would you? You just couldn’t let it lie!

MElko: I would’ve let it lie!

Sauro: But you didn't let it lie!

Melko: I would’ve let it lie if you'd let me let it lie!

Sauro: But you didn't let it Lie!

*Repeat to fade*

narfforc · 04-22-2006, 04:47 PM

Yeh I like that Hookbill , I thought of Maedhros and Maglor as Laurel and Hardy after the theft of the Silmarils and the camp is roused against them, Maglor turns to Maedhros and says: Well, this is another fine mess you gotten me into.

P.S anyone feel free to change or add people as they see fit, if yours is a better choice, then I am sure others will agree.

**The Saucepan Man** · 04-23-2006, 04:05 AM

Well, narfforc, great minds think alike. I had the same thought for a post in the casting the Silmarillion thread. Here's what I had come up with so far:

A comedy Silmarillion:

Fëanor - Proud. Overbearing. Always think he’s right. Not the best at looking out for his people. Hmm. How about Ricky Gervais as David Brent?

Lúthien - Spoilt little princess? Must be Miranda Richarson from Blackadder the Second.

Beren - On the basis of the casting of Lúthien, should be Rowan Atkinson as Blackadder the Second. But I aready had him down for another role (see below). So let’s go for the upper class twit portrayal and cast Hugh Lawrie.

Thingol - John Cleese as Basil Fawlty, with Menegroth as a kind of Fawlty Towers.

Melian - With John Cleese as Thingol, it has to be Prunella Scales for this role.

Finrod - Michael Palin as Sir Galahad in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Fingolfin - Michael Caine, somehow, shouting to the Orc hordes: "Don't throw those bloody spears at me."

Maedhros - David Jason as Del Trotter from Only Fools and Horses. "This time next year, Maggers, we'll be Silmarillionaires".

Maglor - Maedhros’ brother and sidekick. So it has to be Nicholas Lyndhurst as Rodney Trotter.

Túrin - Angsty, self-analysing and constantly reflecting on the consequences of his actions. Why, Woody Allen, of course.

Húrin - Based on the casting of Morwen below, Graham Chapman in Pythonesque pipe-smoking chap mode.

Morwen - Terry Jones in Pythonesque drag and high-pitched voice.

Celegorm - David Walliams has the sinister credentials needed for this one. A slightly camp Celegorm, then.

Curufin - Since he’s Celegorm’s sidekick, I’ll put Matt Lucas in this role.

Galadriel - Oh, how about Julie Walters for this one?

Maeglin - Scheming, but incompetent. Rowan Atkinson, in Blackadder the First mode.

Morgoth- This one has to go to Brian Blessed. Deep bellowing voice ‘n all.

Sauron - As Melkor's office-bound flunkie, who only reluctantly enters battle, Tim McKinnery per captain Darling in Blackadder goes Forth.

Glaurung - I think that Stephen Fry’s voice would fit the bill.

Hehe. This is fun.

Anguirel · 04-23-2006, 04:43 AM

Dealing with only Beren and Luthien for now...I can't approach the universality of Saucie...

Luthien-Renee Zellweger, going by the earlier versions where Luthien was blonde. In fact, going by a very early lost version where Luthien was blonde and addicted to a dangerous cocktail of Ben & Jerrys and nicotine...

Thingol and Melian-Who else but Jim Broadbent and Gemma Jones-a rather undignified Maia but there we go...

Beren-Colin Firth, again rather predictably. A rather more boring and faintly rotund Beren, but essentially nice and good in a fight...

...which is lucky, because he has to compete with Daeron, played by Hugh Grant, and more dangerously still Celegorm, played by Hugh Laurie with a blonde curly wig, ably assisted by Curufin, played by Alan Rickman.

Not to mention the minor matter of getting the Silmarils from the Forces of Supreme Evil, led by Morgoth, President of the United States of Angbandia (Billy Bob Thornton), and his supremely cunning assistant Sauron, here played by that ever-popular schemer Rowan Atkinson, who has a notably camp scene in which he tries to sell a wolf pelt to Huan (Bill Nighy...)

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-23-2006, 05:59 AM

Some musical things, now.

Dearon = Bill Bailey. Singing all his songs using a synthesiser!

Maglor = Vivian Stanchel (Of Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band fame), I just find the whole idea amusing. "Mr Slater's Silmarill" perhaps?

Moving on...

Thingol = Dylan Moran (Of Black Books fame). A drunken, angry Irish man would suite this role perfectly, I think.

Feanor = Jonathan Ross. Well, no one would take him seriously when making his speeches.

Tuin = Graham Chapman as Brian from The Life of Brian. I just think it would fit, all these bad things happening to one guy.

narfforc · 04-23-2006, 06:50 AM

Just imagine Jonathan Ross as a narrator: They are known as The Widers of Wohan and are also called the The Widers of the Widdermark, they come from Edowas to help Awagorn and the people of Minas Tiwith.

Of the Wings of Power
Silmawillion

narfforc · 04-25-2006, 04:33 AM

Ken Dodd as Aule, and the Diddy-men as The Seven Fathers of the Dwarves

Matt Lucas as Gandalf, standing in the middle of Hobbiton and shouting: I'm the only Grey in this village.

Lalwendë · 04-26-2006, 06:39 AM

I'd favour employing the League of Gentlemen guys to enact the Silmarillion as it might have been if it had happened in Royston Vasey.

First up, Tubbs and Edward as Luthien and Beren. Their love would lead to inbred lunacy as evil struck when New Road came to the village. The precious things of the shop would have been carried off and they would have to go on a quest to recover them from that terrifying place, Swansea!

Morgoth I think would have to be portrayed as Papa Lazarou, truly the most terrifying character to ever come out of British comedy. Picture the scene as Finwe has retreated back to Formenos where he hopes to keep those pesky Silmarils safe. He is indoors. Outside the camera is focussed on a dirty finger ringing the door bell. We see a back shot of Finwe going to the door in his housecoat and curlers. He opens the door and we see Morgoth standing there with his macabre grin. Finwe tries to slam the door shut but to no avail. Mprgoth has his foot in the door and forces it open. As the door gives way he utters those words: "Hello Dave. Wanna buy some pegs?" A few minutes later he leaves the house clutching the jewels and the body of Finwe slumps to the floor as Morgoth says: "Oh, you're my wife now..."

Ugh. Chilling.

Tuor of Gondolin · 04-26-2006, 07:34 AM

Starting with SpM's post as a premise, an all-Fawlty Towers
Menegroth would be an interesting episode;

Quote:

Thingol - John Cleese as Basil Fawlty, with Menegroth as a kind of Fawlty Towers.

Melian - With John Cleese as Thingol, it has to be Prunella Scales for this role.

Connie Booth (Polly) as Luthien.
Anrew Sachs (Manuel) as Beren (intereaction with Thingol
would be interesting-especially given Beren's northern Beleriand
accent which Thingol can't understand but thinks he can).

And of course Major Gowen as Beleg.

Edit: Although wasn't there one episode where Polly liked
a handsome guest who Basil (of course) detested? The
visitor could be Beren.

Lalaith · 04-26-2006, 07:44 AM

I am actually quite disturbed by some of this. Particularly some of Saucie's suggestions. Morwen and Celegorm in their new guises are going to haunt my dreams tonight, I swear.

narfforc · 04-26-2006, 08:23 AM

You can just imagine John Cleese marching around Menegroth shouting: Don't mention The Kinslaying, when any Noldor visit.

narfforc · 05-10-2006, 07:32 AM

Ronnie Barker as Gandalf and Ronnie Corbett as Bilbo, WWE wrestlers as mutant dwarves.

04-22-2006, 06:28 AM	#1
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	The Silmarillion- A classic Cult Comedy Have you ever thought of who would appear as your favourite characters if Tolkien had been a Comedy Writer for TV and Film Eru: Expensive cardboard cutout with moving mouth parts, or Mel Brooks Melkor: John Cleese Manwe: Michael Palin Mandos: Lurch Aule: Phil Silvers Feanor: Benny Hill The Seven Sons of Feanor: Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, The Marx Brothers. Fingolfin: Frankie Howerd Melian and Thingol: Gomez and Morticia Adams Luthien: Marilyn Munster Beren: Eric Idle Huan: Scooby-do Carcharoth: Wil-e-coyote The hand of Beren Erchamion: Thing (Addams Family) Ar-Pharazon: Kenneth Williams Sauron: Sid James Hurin and Turin: Steptoe and Son Huor and Tuor: Bernard Bresslaw and Charles Hawtrey Elros and Elrond: The Likely Lads The Orcs: Jerry Lewis and Jim Carey x1000000 by the wonder of CGI The Elves: Any tall beautiful young narcissist, with long hair. Most Models will do. The Dwarves: Danny DeVito, Cousin Itt and Mickey Rooney The Dragons: H.R. Puffnstuff and Barney. Well there's some to be going on with, if you can think of anyone who would fit the character better or ones I have missed, enter them here __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

04-22-2006, 12:37 PM	#2
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 5,977	Let's see now, I would be sorely tempted to cast Jim Carrey as Tom Bombadil, but this is the Dillymarillion, isn’t it. I could try to pull a reverse Jackson and add Tom, but I’m not sure if our director narfforc would countenance two directors on this thread. Still, it’s a shame there’s no Loki in The Silm. George Carlin is good at foul oaths: Fëanor? Bette Midler for Yavanna. Gilda Radnor for Varda and Gene Wilder for Manwe. The Smothers Brothers: The Two Trees OR Fingolfin and Finarfin Lily Tomlin for Míriel Whoopi Goldberg: Ungoliant Carrie Fisher: Celebrian Rowan Atkinson: Mim the Petty Dwarf, among many others Rodney Dangerfield as Celeborn Rich Little: Ulmo? Mr. T: who else but Tulkas. And, well, no time to do more now. A cast of thousands no doubt. Must ponder where to cast Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton. __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

04-22-2006, 02:58 PM	#3
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	I like this idea. Here's my take on the Silmarillion as a comedy epic of epic proportions in an epic Epic! ... Its epic-tastic. Beren = Roan Atkinson (Blackadder, Mr Bean, you know him!) Luthien = Dawn French. Sauron = Bob Mortimer Melkor = Vic Reeves What? It would be funny! Especially if there was a scene in the Void after the fall o Sauron... Melko: So... erm... I see you got into the whole ring-making thing again. Sauro: I told you not to mention that. Melko: Calm down! Sauro: You wouldn’t let it lie, would you? You just couldn’t let it lie! MElko: I would’ve let it lie! Sauro: But you didn't let it lie! Melko: I would’ve let it lie if you'd let me let it lie! Sauro: But you didn't let it Lie! Repeat to fade __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-22-2006, 04:47 PM	#4
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Yeh I like that Hookbill , I thought of Maedhros and Maglor as Laurel and Hardy after the theft of the Silmarils and the camp is roused against them, Maglor turns to Maedhros and says: Well, this is another fine mess you gotten me into. P.S anyone feel free to change or add people as they see fit, if yours is a better choice, then I am sure others will agree. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

04-23-2006, 04:05 AM	#5
The Saucepan Man Corpus Cacophonous Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A green and pleasant land Posts: 8,390	Well, narfforc, great minds think alike. I had the same thought for a post in the casting the Silmarillion thread. Here's what I had come up with so far: A comedy Silmarillion: Fëanor - Proud. Overbearing. Always think he’s right. Not the best at looking out for his people. Hmm. How about Ricky Gervais as David Brent? Lúthien - Spoilt little princess? Must be Miranda Richarson from Blackadder the Second. Beren - On the basis of the casting of Lúthien, should be Rowan Atkinson as Blackadder the Second. But I aready had him down for another role (see below). So let’s go for the upper class twit portrayal and cast Hugh Lawrie. Thingol - John Cleese as Basil Fawlty, with Menegroth as a kind of Fawlty Towers. Melian - With John Cleese as Thingol, it has to be Prunella Scales for this role. Finrod - Michael Palin as Sir Galahad in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Fingolfin - Michael Caine, somehow, shouting to the Orc hordes: "Don't throw those bloody spears at me." Maedhros - David Jason as Del Trotter from Only Fools and Horses. "This time next year, Maggers, we'll be Silmarillionaires". Maglor - Maedhros’ brother and sidekick. So it has to be Nicholas Lyndhurst as Rodney Trotter. Túrin - Angsty, self-analysing and constantly reflecting on the consequences of his actions. Why, Woody Allen, of course. Húrin - Based on the casting of Morwen below, Graham Chapman in Pythonesque pipe-smoking chap mode. Morwen - Terry Jones in Pythonesque drag and high-pitched voice. Celegorm - David Walliams has the sinister credentials needed for this one. A slightly camp Celegorm, then. Curufin - Since he’s Celegorm’s sidekick, I’ll put Matt Lucas in this role. Galadriel - Oh, how about Julie Walters for this one? Maeglin - Scheming, but incompetent. Rowan Atkinson, in Blackadder the First mode. Morgoth- This one has to go to Brian Blessed. Deep bellowing voice ‘n all. Sauron - As Melkor's office-bound flunkie, who only reluctantly enters battle, Tim McKinnery per captain Darling in Blackadder goes Forth. Glaurung - I think that Stephen Fry’s voice would fit the bill. Hehe. This is fun. __________________ Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!

04-23-2006, 04:43 AM	#6
Anguirel Byronic Brand Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The 1590s Posts: 2,778	The Curtisilmarillion Dealing with only Beren and Luthien for now...I can't approach the universality of Saucie... Luthien-Renee Zellweger, going by the earlier versions where Luthien was blonde. In fact, going by a very early lost version where Luthien was blonde and addicted to a dangerous cocktail of Ben & Jerrys and nicotine... Thingol and Melian-Who else but Jim Broadbent and Gemma Jones-a rather undignified Maia but there we go... Beren-Colin Firth, again rather predictably. A rather more boring and faintly rotund Beren, but essentially nice and good in a fight... ...which is lucky, because he has to compete with Daeron, played by Hugh Grant, and more dangerously still Celegorm, played by Hugh Laurie with a blonde curly wig, ably assisted by Curufin, played by Alan Rickman. Not to mention the minor matter of getting the Silmarils from the Forces of Supreme Evil, led by Morgoth, President of the United States of Angbandia (Billy Bob Thornton), and his supremely cunning assistant Sauron, here played by that ever-popular schemer Rowan Atkinson, who has a notably camp scene in which he tries to sell a wolf pelt to Huan (Bill Nighy...) __________________ Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso

04-23-2006, 05:59 AM	#7
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Some musical things, now. Dearon = Bill Bailey. Singing all his songs using a synthesiser! Maglor = Vivian Stanchel (Of Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band fame), I just find the whole idea amusing. "Mr Slater's Silmarill" perhaps? Moving on... Thingol = Dylan Moran (Of Black Books fame). A drunken, angry Irish man would suite this role perfectly, I think. Feanor = Jonathan Ross. Well, no one would take him seriously when making his speeches. Tuin = Graham Chapman as Brian from The Life of Brian. I just think it would fit, all these bad things happening to one guy. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-23-2006, 06:50 AM	#8
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Wossy Just imagine Jonathan Ross as a narrator: They are known as The Widers of Wohan and are also called the The Widers of the Widdermark, they come from Edowas to help Awagorn and the people of Minas Tiwith. Of the Wings of Power Silmawillion __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. Last edited by narfforc; 04-25-2006 at 04:19 AM.

04-25-2006, 04:33 AM	#9
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Durin the Diddy Ken Dodd as Aule, and the Diddy-men as The Seven Fathers of the Dwarves Matt Lucas as Gandalf, standing in the middle of Hobbiton and shouting: I'm the only Grey in this village. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

04-26-2006, 06:39 AM	#10
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	I'd favour employing the League of Gentlemen guys to enact the Silmarillion as it might have been if it had happened in Royston Vasey. First up, Tubbs and Edward as Luthien and Beren. Their love would lead to inbred lunacy as evil struck when New Road came to the village. The precious things of the shop would have been carried off and they would have to go on a quest to recover them from that terrifying place, Swansea! Morgoth I think would have to be portrayed as Papa Lazarou, truly the most terrifying character to ever come out of British comedy. Picture the scene as Finwe has retreated back to Formenos where he hopes to keep those pesky Silmarils safe. He is indoors. Outside the camera is focussed on a dirty finger ringing the door bell. We see a back shot of Finwe going to the door in his housecoat and curlers. He opens the door and we see Morgoth standing there with his macabre grin. Finwe tries to slam the door shut but to no avail. Mprgoth has his foot in the door and forces it open. As the door gives way he utters those words: "Hello Dave. Wanna buy some pegs?" A few minutes later he leaves the house clutching the jewels and the body of Finwe slumps to the floor as Morgoth says: "Oh, you're my wife now..." Ugh. Chilling. __________________ Gordon's alive!

04-26-2006, 07:44 AM	#12
Lalaith Blithe Spirit Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 2,779	I am actually quite disturbed by some of this. Particularly some of Saucie's suggestions. Morwen and Celegorm in their new guises are going to haunt my dreams tonight, I swear. __________________ Out went the candle, and we were left darkling

04-26-2006, 08:23 AM	#13
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Faulty Towels You can just imagine John Cleese marching around Menegroth shouting: Don't mention The Kinslaying, when any Noldor visit. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

05-10-2006, 07:32 AM	#14
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	It's Goodnight from me, and it's Goodnight from them Ronnie Barker as Gandalf and Ronnie Corbett as Bilbo, WWE wrestlers as mutant dwarves. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.