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Old 10-26-2006, 01:24 PM   #4001
Meneltarmacil
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Tolkien

Unfortunately, it was an Exploding Pencil of Doom.
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Old 10-26-2006, 02:58 PM   #4002
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Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.
Fortunately, it wouldn't explode until Tolkien pulled out the pin and counted to five.
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Old 10-29-2006, 02:25 PM   #4003
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Unfortunaly, the pin was too loosly attached and fell off itself and Tolkien, not knowing how to count to three, counted 1, 2, 5 and the Pencile of Doom exploded.
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Old 10-29-2006, 08:10 PM   #4004
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Fortunately, Tolkien misread the manual and it was infact the Imploding Pencil of Doom. so basically it went up like a puff of smoke and his hand ....yep...
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Old 10-29-2006, 08:52 PM   #4005
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Unfortunately, it incinerated the only manuscript of The Lord of the Rings before it could be sent to the publishers.
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Old 10-30-2006, 12:16 AM   #4006
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Fortunaly, Tolkien didn't lose heart and rewrote the book, well, just twenty pages of it, he didn't remember the rest.
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Old 10-30-2006, 12:14 PM   #4007
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Unfortunately, poor Gollum found out and
decided to finish the manuscript telling the
"True" story of the Precious and how poor
Smeagol (who only wants to help) was misunderstood.
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Old 10-30-2006, 02:26 PM   #4008
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Fortunately, this manuscript was incinerated with Gollum when he fell into Orodruin.
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Old 10-30-2006, 08:12 PM   #4009
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Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.
Unfortunately, since the only manuscript for "The Lord of the Rings" was incinerated, Gollum couldn't fall into Mount Doom, since that happens in "The Lord of the Rings", and the paradox caused the fabric of space-time to get all crumpled up, coffee stained and beset with static cling (which, in turn, caused me to think night was day ).
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Old 10-30-2006, 09:58 PM   #4010
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White Tree

Fortunately, the collapse somehow restored everything to normal, with Frodo five feet away from the Cracks of Doom.
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Old 10-30-2006, 11:34 PM   #4011
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Unfortunaly, those five feet were Shelob's
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Old 10-31-2006, 01:58 AM   #4012
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Fortunately, she was too interested in playing a fifth game of chess against The Witch King that they both ignored Frodo.
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Old 10-31-2006, 12:50 PM   #4013
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Ring

Unfortunately Shelob won by using an (unfair) ruse she had learned
from watching the Westley/Vissini duel in The Princess Bride and
grabbed Frodo.
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Old 10-31-2006, 01:54 PM   #4014
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Fortunaly, Sam was there to save Frode, with his Fender Stratocaster pulled out of course.
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Old 10-31-2006, 06:13 PM   #4015
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White Tree

Unfortunately, Sam did not know what a Fender Stratocaster was. (For that matter, neither do I.)
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Last edited by High King Fingolfin; 10-31-2006 at 06:14 PM. Reason: Punctuation
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Old 10-31-2006, 06:40 PM   #4016
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Fortunately, the reader decided to skip a couple pages to Sam and Frodo's burial at sea
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Old 10-31-2006, 07:16 PM   #4017
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Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.
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Unfortunately that part was left out of this particular book.
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Old 11-06-2006, 11:02 PM   #4018
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White Tree

Fortunately, Tolkien added it in his revised posthumous edition that comes out next month.
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Old 11-07-2006, 12:39 AM   #4019
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Unfortunately, "next month" is relative, as there are no Gregorian calendars in Middle-earth.
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Old 11-07-2006, 03:31 PM   #4020
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Fortunately,even in Middle Earth, there were the Sun, moon and stars to go by and therefore a calendar of sorts was theirs.
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Old 11-07-2006, 05:39 PM   #4021
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Unfortunately it became really cloudly for about 4 months and everyone lost track of time
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Old 11-07-2006, 09:16 PM   #4022
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White Tree

Fortunately, Manwe cleared that up rather quickly.
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Old 11-07-2006, 09:29 PM   #4023
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Sting

Unfortunately, he did so by causing a gigantic tsunami to destroy Middle-Earth.
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Old 11-07-2006, 09:30 PM   #4024
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White Tree

Fortunately, Ulmo stopped him.
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Old 11-08-2006, 09:29 AM   #4025
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Leeroy Jenkins!!!!

Unfortunately not till only 33.7% of M-E remains, but those were good odds. and Ulmo got a buckey of chicken out of it too.
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Old 11-11-2006, 03:14 AM   #4026
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Fortunatley, this was only a temporary set-back, thanks to Sam and his mad Stratocaster skills!
He broke-out the Steve Miller and fine ales, and the remaining 33.7% joined in a Middle-earth-wide re-population festival.
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Old 11-11-2006, 12:17 PM   #4027
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White Tree

Unfortunately, the festival turned into a riot, thus destroying the 33.7% of Middle-Earth that was left, and preventing Frodo from ever reaching Mount Doom.
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Old 11-11-2006, 06:20 PM   #4028
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Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.
Fortunately, the destruction of Middle Earth, in an oh-so-original plot twist, turned out to be a dream; and the entwife who was dreaming it was rudely awakened by Faramir Took swinging on her branches.
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Old 11-12-2006, 06:19 PM   #4029
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wow...

unfortunately he died
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Old 11-12-2006, 08:22 PM   #4030
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Sting

Fortunately, he died heroically in saving Frodo from the Nazgul.
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Old 11-13-2006, 07:36 PM   #4031
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White Tree

Unfortunately, he was not able to, not having been born yet at the time.
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Old 11-15-2006, 09:44 AM   #4032
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Fortunately nobody really pays that much attention anyways
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Old 11-15-2006, 12:50 PM   #4033
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Unfortunately, important people, namely Death and Eru, did notice and wanted to know right away what the Angband they thought they were doing.
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Old 11-15-2006, 04:28 PM   #4034
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High King Fingolfin has just left Hobbiton.
White Tree

Fortunately, Death and Eru had been drinking together till 3:00 AM last night and had a huge hangover which caused them to forget the whole thing.
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Old 11-16-2006, 09:37 AM   #4035
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Unfortunately, the video posted on youtube.com helped them remember... and also explained why there was a goat on top of the roof...
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Old 11-21-2006, 09:05 PM   #4036
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1420!

Fortunately, Gimli, who was still starving, ate the goat.
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Old 11-21-2006, 11:15 PM   #4037
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High King Fingolfin has just left Hobbiton.
White Tree

Unfortunately, it gave him heartburn, and the drugstore was out of medicine.
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Old 11-21-2006, 11:44 PM   #4038
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Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.
Fortunately, Mark_Dollarsky kindly offered his patented voodoo heartburn cure...
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Old 11-23-2006, 10:48 PM   #4039
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Unfortunately, it didn't work.
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Old 11-23-2006, 11:28 PM   #4040
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Fortunately, it did cure Gimli's hunger. forever.
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