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Old 05-12-2018, 03:55 PM   #1
Findegil
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The Port of Lond Daer

This is the first draft of the chapter The Port of Lond Daer in the part The Black Years.

Basic Text is The History of Galadriel and Celeborn; Appendix D.

The markings are:
BY-HL-zz for Black Years, Head-Lines, marking all headlines for the chapters in this part.

LD-SL-zz for The Port of Lond Daer, Story-Line, to document all changes that construct the main text.

Some conventions of my writing:
Normal Text is from the text that is mentioned in the source information of each insert.
Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{example} = text that should be deleted
[example] = normalised text, normally only used for general changes
<source example> = additions with source information
example = text inserted for grammatical or metrical reason
/example/ = outline expansion
Normally if an inserted text includes the beginning of a new § these is indicated by a missing “>” at the end of the § and a missing “<” at the beginning of the next.
Quote:
BY-HL-09<The History of Galadriel and Celeborn; Appendix D: The Port of Lond Dear
LD-SL-01{It was told in "Concerning Galadriel and Celeborn" that in the war against Sauron in Eriador at the end of the seventeenth century of the Second Age the Númenórean admiral Ciryatur put a strong force ashore at the mouth of the Gwathló (Greyflood), where there was "a small Númenórean harbour" (p.251). This seems to be the first reference to that port, of which a good deal is told in later writings.
The fullest account is in the philological essay concerning the names of rivers which has already been cited in connection with the legend of Amroth and Nimrodel (pp. 254 ff.). In the essay the name Gwathló discussed as follows:

}The river Gwathló is translated "Greyflood." … and tended to spread into fenland.[Footnote to the text: The Glanduin ("border-river") flowed down from the Misty Mountains south of Moria to join the Mitheithel above Tharbad. LD-SL-02{ On the original map to The Lord of the Rings the name was not marked (it only occurs once in the book, in Appendix A (I, iii)). It seems that in 1969 my father communicated to Miss Pauline Baynes certain additional names for inclusion in her decorated map of Middle-earth: "Edhellond" (referred to above, p.267, note 18), "Andrast," "Drûwaith Iaur (Old Púkel-land)," "Lond Daer (ruins)," "Eryn Vorn," "R.Adorn," "Swanfleet," and "R.Glanduin." The last three of these names were then written into the original map that accompanies the book, but why this was done I have been unable to discover; and while "R.Adorn is correctly placed, "Swanfleet" and "River Glandin" [sic] are blunderingly placed against the upper course of the Isen. For the correct interpretation of the relation between the names Glanduin and Swanfleet see pp. 276-77.}] But some hundred miles below Tharbad the slope increased. The Gwathló, however, never became swift, and ships of smaller draught could without difficulty sail or be rowed as far as Tharbad.
The origin of the name Gwathló must be sought in history. … dwelt between the mouths of the Gwathló and the Angren (Isen).
But in the earlier days, … that formed the north arm of the Bay of Belfalas LD-SL-03{[}Ras Morthil or Andrast{: see p. 224, note 6,} because of the "Púkel-men"LD-SL-04{.... [For the continuation of this passage see p. 400.]}<UT; The Drúedain who were a secret and fell people, tireless and silent hunters, using poisoned darts. … in the woods of Anórien were known to the people of Gondor.>
The devastation wrought by the Númenóreans was incalculable. For long years these lands were their chief source of timber, not only for their ship-yards at Lond Daer and elsewhere, but also for Númenor itself. Shiploads innumerable passed west over the sea. LD-SL-05{ The denuding of the lands was increased during the war in Eriador; for the exiled natives welcomed Sauron and hoped for his victory over the Men of the Sea. Sauron knew of the importance to his enemies of the Great Haven and its ship-yards. and he used these haters of Númenor as spies and guides for his raiders. He had not enough force to spare for any assault upon the forts at the Haven or along the banks of the Gwathló, but his raiders made much havoc on the fringe of the forests, setting fire in the woods and burning many of the great wood-stores of the Númenóreans.
When Sauron was at last defeated and driven east out of Eriador most of the old forests had been destroyed. The}Later the Gwathló flowed through a land that was far and wide on either bank a desert, tree¬less but untilled. … The name Gwathir was thus changed to Gwathló, the shadowy river from the fens.
The Gwathló was one of the few geographical names that be¬came generally known to others than mariners in Númenor and received an Adûnaic translation. This was Agathurush.>
Some comments on the editing:

BY-HL-09:

LD-SL-01: The introduction by Christopher Tolkien has to go.

LD-SL-02: A Comment of Christopher Tolkien removed.

LD-SL-03 & LD-SL-02: Here I reconstructed the connection that in UT was broken.

LD-SL-05: I removed the passage about the War in Eriador to us that later, when we tell the story of that war.

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Old 05-13-2018, 10:33 AM   #2
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This all looks good, I only found one other addition while I was editing The Rivers and Beacon Hills of Gondor and I placed it at the very end of the third paragraph:
Quote:
... mountains of Andrast, the western outlier of the White Mountains, LD-SL-04.5 <RBHG afterwards called still Drúwaith (Iaur) ‘(Old) Púkel-land', and its dark woods were little visited, nor considered as part of the realm of Gondor;> but only the remnant in the woods of Anórien were known to the people of Gondor.
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Old 05-14-2018, 12:25 PM   #3
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LD-SL-04.5: Agreed.

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Old 05-29-2018, 09:08 PM   #4
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I actually found another addition from the same source, which I placed in the last full paragraph:
Quote:
...under which the boats of the adventurers crept silently up into the unknown land. LD-SL-06 <Rivers and Beacon Hills of Gondor It is said that some even on this first expedition came as far as the great fenlands before they returned, fearing to become bewildered in their mazes.> So the first name they gave to it was ...
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Old 05-30-2018, 01:17 PM   #5
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SD-SL-06: Agreed.

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Old 12-12-2018, 05:00 AM   #6
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I read through this chapter and think it looks good, with one minor suggestion. When reading through this chapter, I was a bit confused because I remember the port founded by Aldarion being called Vinyalondë. Throughout the main body of the Aldarion chapter it is called Vinyalondë, and it is only in a footnote in the chapter where it is mentioned the haven was later renamed Lond Daer. I feel like the footnotes should be additional material which is of interest but shouldn't be necessary to follow the main story. Therefore I propose a small change:

Quote:
The fellings had at first been along both banks of the Gwathló, and timber had been floated down to the haven (Lond Daer) ...
to:

Quote:
The fellings had at first been along both banks of the Gwathló, and timber had been floated down to the haven of {(}Lond Daer{)} (formerly Vinyalondë) ...

Last edited by gandalf85; 12-12-2018 at 05:11 AM.
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Old 12-12-2018, 01:39 PM   #7
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I actually like this a lot, but instead of just 'formerly Vinyalondë' I think it should be '(which was of old called Vinyalondë)' to keep a more Tolkien-esque feel to it. Also I would give this change the formal mark of LD-SL-02.5.
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Old 12-12-2018, 02:29 PM   #8
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I see the point. What do you think of this solution:
Quote:
... The fellings had at first been along both banks of the Gwathló, and timber had been floated down to the haven LD-SL-02.5 (Lond Daer<editorial addition or Vinyalondë>); but now the Númenóreans drove great tracks and roads into the forests ...
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Old 12-12-2018, 05:57 PM   #9
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Note 9 in Aldarion and Erendis of Unfinished Tales says that the haven was afterwards called Lond Daer, which leads me to believe its name was changed after its founding, and I think it makes sense to explicitly include the name change in the main text to avoid confusion. I personally like ArcusCalion's version.
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Old 12-13-2018, 12:37 PM   #10
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I have an issue with the lifting of Lond Daer out of the parentheses of the original. So what about this:
Quote:
… The fellings had at first been along both banks of the Gwathló, and timber had been floated down to the haven LD-SL-02.5c (Lond Daer<editorial addition based on Aldarion and Erendis Note 9 , which was of old called Vinyalondë>); but now the Númenóreans drove great tracks and roads into the forests ...
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Old 12-13-2018, 02:18 PM   #11
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This is fine for me.
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