The Barrow Downs Newspaper

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Legate Barrow-walker and Darth Volo?

[Blind Guardian]

Star Wars rule! And I just watched all of them.

EDIT: I'm not going to do those crosswords. I never have. I was just curious what the answers were and though it was last Monday.

[Aganzir]

Originally Posted by Pitchwife

AGANZIR

has come in third and won the first quarter of the remaining pizza. (About time!)
She also gets bonus points for being the first to guess the mysterious 13 across, and for the creative audacity of suggesting MORSHUL as the answer to 19 down. (Explain that yourself, if you dare.)

Obviously because his P&A self looks like a mountain of poultry manure.

I still consider myself the winner though, even if not in name.

[Pitchwife]

Since no more complete correct solutions to the crossword puzzle have been offered,

GALADRIEL55

wins a pizza wedge for the most nearly correct solution, having got all but two words right; also bonus points for creative thinking in her post #3069.

And now
for all of you who are still in the dark
TEH SOLUTION!

*drumroll*





If you didn't win any part of the cement pizza and are curious what you've missed, the whole thing in all its hideous glory can be viewed here.

Thank you for playing, everybody! I hope this was as much fun for you as it was for me.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

Legate Barrow-walker and Darth Volo?

How comes I knew that this will find its way to 'The Downer. No surprise. All too easy. I have foreseen it.

Originally Posted by Pitchwife

Thank you for playing, everybody! I hope this was as much fun for you as it was for me.

Oh it certainly was, Mr. McBrain!

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

13 Across makes all the sense in the world now!

[Galadriel55]

"Dawn" was my original answer to 7..... And then I decided that it makes no sense whatsoever, because barrows are active at night, so I wrote "dark". Bugger.

[Pitchwife]

May you walk in the dark no longer, G55. Behold!

[Galadriel55]

Originally Posted by Pitchwife

May you walk in the dark no longer, G55. Behold!

I feel very unclever. I saw this thread before. :/

Question. What do wheels have to do with palantirs? I get that it's a Seeing Stone, but why wheels?

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

Question. What do wheels have to do with palantirs? I get that it's a Seeing Stone, but why wheels?

Palantír of Fortune...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sorry it's a tad late. Not feeling well.



Now back to your regularly scheduled Phalian.

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to hunt down some P&A voice artists!!

[Oddwen]

[Blind Guardian]

You're odd....oh wait, you are. -_-

[Pitchwife]

Oddwen: Ouch.
BG: Ouch!!!
P&A: On an occasion where a flamethrower would come in really handy, trust Alien to come up with something like this. Love it.

[Galadriel55]

Pass 'em the possum!

[Bom Tombadillo]

I think I need to find some way to automatically rep Oddwen when she makes a post.

A tax on taxies is better than a tax on taxes, don't you think? That would be most taxing.

[Aganzir]

Oddkins, have I ever told you that I adore you? (And you too, Hookbilly.)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Now back to your regularly scheduled Phalian.

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING

We may not get the full animation done by Christmas - sorry everyone - but we'll get a trailer out! Just you voice actors get your voices to me sharpish!

[Galadriel55]

Those two useless hobbits have a use?!

[Aganzir]

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

Those two useless hobbits have a use?!

Incidentally, I saw the Phantom & Alien strip first and thought you were referring to Lal & davem.

[Galadriel55]

Originally Posted by Aganzir

Incidentally, I saw the Phantom & Alien strip first and thought you were referring to Lal & davem.

[Blind Guardian]

I wonder when Death is going to notice his watch is missing...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Now back to your regularly scheduled Phalian.

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING

Work on the P&A animation is fully on the way now that we have all the voices! We'll be releasing a trailer on Christmas day for you to feast your eyes on! Hopefully the full episode will be done some time in January. Then we'll see if we feel like doing a full series or something.
What fun!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

A festive special picture for you P&A fans...

[Galadriel55]

Poor Father Formy...

[Aganzir]

I'm starting to believe Hammond the Skull has a thing for facial hair, seeing how often it has appeared in the last issues.

The festive picture is awesome, except I'm creeped out by the bare toes.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Grab onto your faces, people, it's time to get all excited and hot under the collar.
If you thought The Hobbit Trailer was good, wait until you see the very cool, very exclusive, very cheap and very rushed...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN ANIMATED SERIES TRAILER!!

It will have all your favourite characters and your least favourite ones, too!
Work on the actual episode is going well and it should be finished some time in the New Year. So... Look forward to it, peoples!!

[Galadriel55]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

If you thought The Hobbit Trailer was good...

Someone really thought it was good?

/Nevermind.

This one's better anyways. I can't wait for the actual thing!

[Pitchwife]

This made my Christmas evening! The music is smashing, Peter looks great (the drawing style is a little different, but works well with animation I think), and there were lots of lovely moments packed tight in these 1:07 - Alien's name being corrected, Lommy blazing away with her gun, John Fillis morphing (!!!), Father Formy drenched in soap and his apprehensive look toward the end... Great work, keep it going!

Btw the festive special pic is gorgeous too, and bonus points for posting it on the winter solstice.

Originally Posted by Agan

The festive picture is awesome, except I'm creeped out by the bare toes.

Indeed, I think all that picture misses is a little sign pointing at Morsul's foot and saying NUDITY!!!

[Oddwen]

KALIMAC CHRISTMAS, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT

Originally Posted by Special Shire Correspondent Burpy Upheaver

Of late, Yule time is not always a happy time in the four farthings of The Shire. Traditional Hobbit traditions dictate that the tiny hobbit children stay up all night with clubs to keep the legendary figure known as Sando Clausefoot from eating their Yule Breakfast. Most hobbit children fall asleep early on, while parents leave nibble marks in all of the puddings to teach their children some sort of lesson in home security. All this has changed with the arrival of a Big Person calling himself "Sharkey Clause". He is said to send his elves out in wagons to cut down trees and collect toys from all the good boys and girls.

We tried to get a statement from one of his elves, but were spat on and told to stop asking questions as it was on the List as "not allowed". This was ridiculous, as we had checked the List beforehand to make sure. Upon a second checking, the rule was indeed there, sloppily written in pencil. We then tried to get a statement from Sharkey Clause himself, but were chased away while the old man screamed out "Yule Pay!" at our fleeing forms.

"I just can't understand it," says local character Gaffer Gamgee. "Maybe his weskit is two sizes too small."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Downer would like to assure its readers that we have a very good explanation for the past two weeks hiatus. So here are the reasons our staff haven't been putting out new content;
We got freaked out by last year's solar eclipse, and barricaded ourselves in an underground bunker, where to this day we await the end of the world.
Either that, or we're trapped beneath a pile of unsold P&A t-shirts.
But then we discovered that the Downer was just a figment of our imagination - an imagination long since shredded by our chronic twin addictions to strong alcohol and horse painkillers.
We'd written the instructions on how to update the site on a marzipan wafer, which was erroneously swallowed by a clown.
Then the rozzers discovered our illegal whale ovary removing factory, and dragged us off to the cells.

So, without further delay, here is the newest issue of the Downer. With a brand new look to hide the fact that we have no new content.



Now back to your regularly scheduled Phalian.

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING

The Downer will be back next week. We promise. And also, Hookbill promises that he will no longer imagine that The Downer has any staff.

[Blind Guardian]

Oh dear God...the alien is such an idiot...

[Galadriel55]

I have been taken to hospital? Cool.

Bugger Denethor.

Yay for the new looks! And news don't actually have to be new... just old enough not to be remembered anymore!

[Morthoron]

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

To whom it may consume:

I have been told that your tabloid has a "new look". Well, I actually haven't been told of this "new look", but I did manage to read the previous post that indicated this was the case. But I am not writing to complain about this alleged "new look"; on the contrary, I have an issue with the "old look".

Since I cannot even recall what the "old look" looked like with any specificity, how then do I know that this "new look" isn't just the "old look", or merely a look that was, in fact, around previous to the supposed "old look" -- a "recycled older look", if you will?

Speaking metaphysically, what is a "look" anyway? Since appearances can be deceiving, and since your paper has never had any depth in the first place, I do not see the point of renaming a skimpy veneer covering an empty shell. Replacing a blank facade does not alter empty air.

In conclusion, I strongly suggest you eliminate the "new look" as well as the "old look", and opt for a "don't look now". That way, I will not have to concern myself with changes I know nothing about regarding a tabloid I never read. I do not like to think of things that I do not think about!

Thank you in advance for doing nothing previously,
Mrs. Blithe Spacey
Heedless, Muddlesworth, Bewildershire

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

It's nice to see that The Downer is still with us. Nice new layout, it seems thatHookbill has found some exciting new fonts to play with.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Thanks to a very ODD mysterious contributor for the second story this week. It's very odd indeed.



Now back to your regularly scheduled Phalian.

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING

Alien is always at his best when he is destroying things, isn't he?
Anyway, we should be seeing some progress on the P&A animation in the next few weeks. The whole Christmas and New Year thing got in the way and my brother has only just gone back to collage, but work will continue, and no mistake!

[Galadriel55]

Are we going to get Dinosaur's Quality Dinosaur now?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I forgot to thank Oddwen for her stories last week and this week.
They've been in the back catalogue for a while, but they're still as relevant as ever! EVER! ... ... EVER!!



Now back to your regularly scheduled Phalian.

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING

I'm seriously going to update the P&A website at some point this week... I hope. It's just such a pain in the backside to upload over 400 images all at once, you know? I'll get to it soon, so don't worry.

[Galadriel55]

Bad, bad Shasta! Should have let those entings burn.

[Shastanis Althreduin]

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

Bad, bad Shasta! Should have let those entings burn.

I can't help myself.