Survivor: Surviving the Minor Works

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I will take the ring, though I do not know... oops, I mean, I will join the crusade to save the title character of one of my favorite works, Smith of Wootton Major. Down with long-necked mutations!

++The Girabbit

[Diamond18]

Huh?

Which Minor Works Protagonist Are You?

[littlemanpoet]

Okay. Now I get it. Easy test to get the result you want, by the by.....

[Alcarillo]

To arms!

++Girabbit

Wierd rabbit/giraffe thing...

[littlemanpoet]

Thanks, Estelyn & Alcarillo!

[Bêthberry]

What's a Girabbit got to do with a pocket edition story anyhow?

++Girabbit

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by Smi...I mean, Elempi

TO ME!! TO ME!! ALL YOU GOOD SOULS WHO WOULD SPARE THE LIFE OF THE GOOD SMITH!!!! LET US OUST THE OUSTER OF OUR GOOD SMITH!!! TO ME!! TO ME!!

I feel somewhat unqualified to participate in this edition since I'm only familiar with the Bombadil characters. But, um, well, it seems that I have a common interest with Elempi since Diamond's test says that I'm a Smith.

++GIRABBIT
Giraffe-rabbits are disturbing.

[The 1,000 Reader]

When you start mixing two different animals you eventually make human-like animals. I already said the result of that in the Mordor thread, and it, well, ........

..........let's just say it isn't pretty.

++Girabbit.

[Diamond18]

The Mr Bliss tribe suffered another blow on the thirteenth day, as the troops rallied around Smith of Wooton Major and deflected an attack onto the strange rabbit/giraffe hybrid....

Girabbit: 6 votes

Smith of Wooton Major: 2 votes

And so, the Girabbit was sold to a freak show for sixpence and nobody missed him.


Day the Fourteenth finds 34 contestants remaining:


Farmer Giles of Ham

Ægidius Ahenobarbus Julius Agricola de Hammo (Farmer Giles of Ham)
Gram, his dog
The Giant from the Wild Hills
King Augustus Bonifacious
Chrysophylax Dives
The Miller
The Parson
Sunny Sam (Fabricius Cunctator) The Blacksmith

Smith of Wooton Major/Leaf By Niggle

Master Cook Rider
Alf the Prentice, King of Faerie
Smith of Wooton Major
Nell
Queen of Faerie
Niggle

The Adventures of Tom Bombadil (Poems)

Goldberry
Badger
Old Man Willow
The Barrow-wight
Goodman Maggott
Princess Mee
Fíriel
Troll

Roverandom

Roverandom
The Wizard Artaxerxes
Mew, the Seagull
Moon-dog
Mer-dog
Uin, the Whale

Mr. Bliss

Mr. Day
Archie
Teddy
Bruno
Herbert Dorkins
Egbert Dorkins

[Estelyn Telcontar]

It's time we get rid of one of the Ham-sters - they haven't lost a team member yet and are probably feeling too sure of themselves by now. Let's see, the Giant doesn't have an important function in most of the story, and keeping him fed is hard on the countryside. Therefore I vote

++The Giant from the Wild Hills

[Anguirel]

Fie, fie! Not content with fumigating the Mewlips, Esty, you now persecute the Giant. Next you'll be bullying Chrysophylax.

The goody-goodies have had their fun. Now I'm going to start being positively sadistic.

++NELL

As was applied to a different literary context, "It would take a man with a heart of stone, upon reading the death of Little Nell, to resist shedding tears...of laughter."

[Estelyn Telcontar]

But the Smith team is already decimated, and it wasn't as large as others to start with. Shouldn't you pick on someone your own size, Ang?! Shame on you, bullying helpless females around - and a young mother, no less!

[littlemanpoet]

In return for the favor from yesterday, I join Estelyn today.

++ Giant from the Wild Hills

He's a stupid oaf anyway that can't be harmed with a mere blunderbuss! Away with him!

[Anguirel]

I sense Phantomesque machinations! I will not lower myself to them.

But look at it this way and you'll see who's persecuting who.

Nell is a human woman.

The Giant is, naturally, a Giant.

There are no Giants around today.

But there are three billion women.

Slay these specieist murderesses before they get the chance to procreate! Down with Nell!

[Tuor in Gondolin]

+ + Herbert Dorkins

Putting him out of his misery. He obviously
had sadistic parents, saddling him with a
name like Herbert Dork...ah, Dorkins.

[The Saucepan Man]

I see that, not content with voting of the - er - portly contestants, people are now victimising any of the contestants who don't quite fit in, in the form of the Mewlips, the Girabbit and, now, unforgiveably, the friendly neighbourhood Giant.

This cannot be tolerated. I call upon all those who have ever felt misunderstood or mistreated by society's "norms", those who have been labelled misfits or troublemakers or wierd or geeky by those who simply don't understand them, to resist this senseless victimisation of the underdogs.

(Yes, it's the " proud geeks unite" defence again. )

My own preference is to vote again for ...

+ + SMITH OF WOOTON MAJOR

... who spent far too much time off on a frivolous frolic, when he should have been tending to the "real life" concerns of his job and his family.

But I will change my vote to protect, if I can, the poor, misunderstood Giant, who was only taking a refreshing stroll when he was rudely interrupted by an overly aggressive farmer with a dangerous (and most likely unlicenced) blunderbuss.

[Formendacil]

Although this forum has generally seen or discussed this horrid beast very little, I can assure you that his presence is felt elsewhere, and even on the 'Downs his shadow occasionally looms...

++ Troll

Offtopic and spiteful. Enough said.

[The Only Real Estel]

Originally Posted by Formendacil

++ Troll

Offtopic and spiteful. Enough said.

Indeed.

++Troll

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by Anguirel

I sense Phantomesque machinations! I will not lower myself to them.

If you're referring to my appearance, Ang, I assure you, LMP is blameless of such accusations. While we may share a past association with the famed League of Extraordinary Barrow-Downers, our current alliance is purely coincidental. And not related to any PMs of any kind.

I will, however, be lurking in the shadows to come to the defense of my fellow Faerie-visiting dreamer(s), should my aid be needed.

[The Saucepan Man]

Ai! I have to vote for a Troll to save a Giant? But that's no choice.

C'mon folks, given me some options here.

[The Only Real Estel]

Come on now Saucie, it’s a win-win. Troll is blindingly slow, a major liability in the challenges. He also got out-thought by a rock more than once – another strike against him in challenges that happen to not require quickness. Now sure, he’s got the strength for the strength-related challenges (which are few) but Old Man Willow is a decent substitute there.

He’s stupid and ugly, kinda like the Giant only less loveable.

Besides, here’s our chance to make a statement to these Downer Trolls that Form spoke of – we can put our foot down and show them that Trolling isn’t tolerated, not even for those that have a ‘sufficient excuse.’

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by SPM

Ai! I have to vote for a Troll to save a Giant? But that's no choice.

C'mon folks, given me some options here.

Would you consider a Badger?

Then all the Badger-folk said: 'We beg your pardon!'

Horribly anti-climactic.

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by TORE

He’s stupid and ugly, kinda like the Giant only less loveable.

So now we're picking on those who are aesthetically and intellectually challenegd are we? The Troll we are faced with here exemplifies the misunderstood of whom I spoke earlier. He was lonely, an outcast from society, simply because he was a Troll, albeit a kindly and culinary gifted one (what is it with Tolkien and Troll chefs?).

'I steal no gold, I drink no beer,
I eat no kind of meat;
but People slam their doors in fear,
whenever they hear my feet.
O how I wish that they were neat,
and my hands were not so rough!
Yet my heart is soft, my smile is sweet,
and my cooking good enough.'

When he sets out to find a friend, he is harshly rejected by all, save for the kindly Perry-the-Winkle (who was, incidentally, cold-heartedly voted off earlier). Perry saw past the Trollish exterior to the kind heart within and took him home for tea.

No. Having revisited the poem, I cannot find it within myself to vote off the poor Troll. This is no cyberspace nuisance, but simply a gentle, kindly but misunderstood soul.

I would repeat my entreaty. Stop voting for all the misunderstood misfits and target those, such as Smith and Niggle, who are (in Tolkien's terms) the jocks of the island.

[The Only Real Estel]

But what about these “jocks” you speak of, SpM?

Sure, sometimes you run across the stereotypical jock – arrogant, aloof, and abysmal. But often ones are termed “jocks” out of a feeling of inferiority or even envy. Targeting the Island Jocks for being jocks (the non-arrogant ones) is no better than Targeting the Island Misunderstooders for being misunderstood...er ().

And as for considering the feelings of the contestants - I feel their pain (yes, even Troll's now that you put it the way you do), but they signed up for the competition. Those who don't want to be laughed at shouldn't sign up to be clowns, you shouldn't audition for American Idol if you can’t bear the scathing criticism of Simon (or Sleepy ) Cowell. You don’t sign up for Survivor without the understanding that it’s survival of the fittest.

Troll is the kind of guy that is often eliminated in Survivor – a nice guy, but in the end he just doesn’t have what it takes.

Of course we all feel sorry for him, but that there’s not much you can do about it...

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by TORE

But often ones are termed “jocks” out of a feeling of inferiority or even envy.

Nah. I'm talking about the ones who everybody loves, and don't they just know it. I have always disliked those types of contestant on shows like this. I tend to support the underdogs (but surely you know that by now).

But since I cannot, as matters stand, save the Giant without condemning the Troll, and vice versa, I shall reluctantly stand back and allow both to be removed from the firing line. Perhaps they shall be happier without all those viewers to taunt them for their imperfections. I cannot, in all conscience, vote for either.

I guess people just don't like the misfits.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Originally Posted by Formendacil

Although this forum has generally seen or discussed this horrid beast very little, I can assure you that his presence is felt elsewhere, and even on the 'Downs his shadow occasionally looms...

++ Troll

Offtopic and spiteful. Enough said.

++Troll.

My job is being stolen by the dang guy.

[Alcarillo]

++The Giant from the Wild Hills

For stomping noisily all over the island, eating half of what his tribe catches, and complaining about not being able to fit in the shelter.

[Diamond18]

Despite impassioned pleas for the "misunderstood", the fourteenth day marked the departure of not one but two oafish fellows:

Troll: 3 votes

The Giant from the Wild Hills: 3 votes

Smith of Wooton Major: 1 vote

His wife, Nell: 1 vote

Herbert Dorkins: 1 vote

And so, as Troll sat alone on his seat of stone, munching and mumbling on a bare old bone, the Giant squished him to an indiscernible patty whilst walking by. The Giant then slipped because of the gooey slick of Troll-flesh on his foot, and tumbled off a cliff into the ocean.


Day the Fifteenth finds 32 contestants remaining:


Farmer Giles of Ham

Ægidius Ahenobarbus Julius Agricola de Hammo (Farmer Giles of Ham)
Gram, his dog
King Augustus Bonifacious
Chrysophylax Dives
The Miller
The Parson
Sunny Sam (Fabricius Cunctator) The Blacksmith

Smith of Wooton Major/Leaf By Niggle

Master Cook Rider
Alf the Prentice, King of Faerie
Smith of Wooton Major
Nell
Queen of Faerie
Niggle

The Adventures of Tom Bombadil (Poems)

Goldberry
Badger
Old Man Willow
The Barrow-wight
Goodman Maggott
Princess Mee
Fíriel

Roverandom

Roverandom
The Wizard Artaxerxes
Mew, the Seagull
Moon-dog
Mer-dog
Uin, the Whale

Mr. Bliss

Mr. Day
Archie
Teddy
Bruno
Herbert Dorkins
Egbert Dorkins

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Well, since you want to get rid of some of the arrogant characters, let's go for

++Princess Mee

Honestly, do we need someone who's always looking at her own reflection, Narcissus-style, and talking to herself because she thinks that's the only person worth talking to? Besides, she's obsessed with what she's wearing - and isn't it unpractical for survival training?! Let's put her on the fan fiction forum, where she belongs, and let the Mary Sue hunters get her.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

+ + Princess Mee

With her it's always me, me, me!

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Esty

Well, since you want to get rid of some of the arrogant characters ...

You expect me to follow your lead, killer of Mewlips, Girabbits and Giants? Well, think again.

For me, it's going to be ...

+ + SMITH OF WOOTTON MAJOR

... every day until the good-for-nothing idler goes and the poor, misunderstood misfits are avenged!

[Anguirel]

Well, I'm disappointed in the sentimentality of you all in shielding the evil Nell.

But I shall side for the present with Saucie.

++SMITH OF WOOTON MAJOR

[Bêthberry]

Well now, all of this siding sounds rather like the Battle of the Big Endians and the Little Endians in Gulliver. Who is the least empowered and so therefore not deserving of rejection?

I suggest we look elsewhere, at those who are the most empowered, and there of course we will find those most undeservingly empowered and thus most in need of a healthy dose of rejection. Save the miscreants and the misfits and the misty-eyed!

Anyone up for a little regicide?

++ KING AUGUSTUS BONIFACIOUS

[Celuien]

++PRINCESS MEE
Let me put it this way. Princess Mee doesn't mean that her name is Mee. This is a typo. Her name is Princess Me, as in it's all about me. Arrogant and self-absorbed.

Away with her!

[Formendacil]

Such a dilemma...

I clearly can't vote Princess Mee, because that's the main bandwaggon thus far, and I don't like to bandwaggon unless it's my idea. On the other hand, I do like to actually vote for a candidate who's going to win. ("Strategic voting"). So what to do? I rather like Smith, and I don't ALWAYS want to side with Saucey....

++ KING AUGUSTUS BONIFACIOUS

If I need a reason... erm... yeah... he's a git. Really.

[littlemanpoet]

++ Princess Mee

Anguirel and SPM, you have made yourselves my sworn enemies by voting for my symbolic extrication from this game. Have at thee!!!

[Alcarillo]

The royalty on the island are too used to being pampered to do anything useful for their tribes. So, hoping to achieve a double-eviction (mwahaha), I vote for

++King Augustus Bonifacious

[The 1,000 Reader]

++Princess Mee.

It's a miracle such a stuck-up pampered person made it this far.

[littlemanpoet]

Just in case anyone's interested in dealing, I'd be happy to vote for King Augustus Bonifacious tomorrow if you'll vote for Princess Mee today, if needed in order to keep the rascals outnumbered, thus helping for two more days to help keep my alter-ego alive..... Of course, currently there are only two bend-minded, malice-hearted cretins trying to symbolically remove me from play.....

[Alcarillo]

Hmmm. . . as long as we get rid of Augustus tomorrow

- - King Augustus Bonifacious

and

++Princess Mee

The spoiled little brat!