*The Barrow-Downs Official Birthday Newspaper* - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Estelyn Telcontar · 05-01-2007, 02:08 AM

“Extra, extra! Read all about it! Dead barrow celebrates birthday! Reports of ghosts, wights, zombies, and other ghastly invaders in the publishing house frighten reporters and staff! Get your copy right here!”

The young paper boy's enthusiasm for his special task on this early morning sped his feet down the road faster than he realized. He had sold a goodly number of newspapers to interested citizens, yet his cart held more, and he had the ambition to empty it completely before returning to his home.

The pale sun arose, yet it gave only a grey light through the mist. The fog rolled up over the fields and rose above him, bending over his head until it became a roof. He felt as if a trap was closing around him, but he did not quite lose heart. He recognized nothing, not having been in this area before, but he had the foreboding feeling that something - or someone - was there, and he was not sure that it was someone - or something - he wanted to meet. Fear prevailed over duty and ambition, and he had begun to turn his cart to make a hasty retreat when he heard a voice, deep and cold, that seemed to come out of the ground, calling to him:

"I am waiting for you!"

He stood still, his knees knocking a cowardly rap rhythm, but he did not run away. Then his legs gave, and he fell on the ground. Nothing happened, and there was no sound. Trembling he looked up, in time to see a tall dark figure like a shadow against the fading stars. It leaned over him. He thought there were two green-glowing eyes, as though lit with a pale light that seemed to come from a remote distance. Then a grip stronger and colder than iron seized him. The icy touch froze his bones, and he remembered no more.

When he came to himself again, for a moment he could recall nothing except a sense of dread. Then suddenly he realized that he had been robbed - his cart was empty! Almost he would have wept bitter tears to think of the lost revenue his papers should have brought him, then he saw a glitter of gold in the bottom of the vehicle. And lo! there were chains and brooches and rings and coins - their worth was much greater than anything he could have expected. Hurriedly, lest any further mischance should happen to him, he pulled the cart and ran down the road homewards as fast as his legs could carry him.

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °

Behind him in the dark, a pale greenish light enveloped the countryside. Glowing letters appeared upon a flat, rectangular surface, and the image of a gleaming sword could be seen. From within the nearby mound, a voice could be heard:

"What took the paper boy so long today? I want my morning paper - maybe there'll be something interesting to read on the Barrow’s birthday. Here, folks, there are enough for all of you - spread them around!"

Hookbill the Goomba · 05-01-2007, 02:09 AM

A special Newspaper was piblished for the day...

They'd seen part one...

And part two...

but the people finnally got to see the concluding part of The Phantom and Alien 3-part special!

And now... Ladies and gentlemen.

The Downer Newspaper, in association with Lester Square productions proudly presents.

For the first time ever...

In 2D

THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN CARTOON SHOW! ON YOUTUBE

Or follow this link…
Downloadable

Credits:

Voices
The Phantom - Matt Cornah
Alien - Joel Cornah

Animation - Lester Square
Storyboard - Hookbill the Goomba
Scripting - J.k. Cornah

Cake - Sir Harrold
Music - The Director
Eyes - Sauron

Bêthberry · 05-01-2007, 07:40 AM

Eddie Orc Sports and Expedition Outfitters

Check out our birthday specials! Discounts up to 70% in honour of the Downs' birthday.

Second hand pots and pans--no reasonable offer refused--comes with special recipe for coney stew

Reconfigured military equipment--check out the latest in our snow blowers and lawn mowers--guaranteed to produce elven-proof results!

Huge selection of army surplus bedrolls, tents, axes, port-a-potties

Also, Skateboarders: Come to us for expert shield alterations. There is no shield that cannot be wheeled by our expert fitters and machinists.

A few mumak seats are still available--ideal for patio or pool-side furniture.

alatar · 05-01-2007, 12:54 PM

Caution!

This section of the paper, newly arrived on the barrow lawn, may cause the inadvertent spewing of coffee.

Hilde Bracegirdle · 05-01-2007, 02:02 PM

Sword and Sinew – “The rite place for all your extermination needs.” Catering services available. Fully licensed and bonded.

Has your barrow got you down? Is it deadly boring? Then liven it up with The Spirits of Angmar, your one stop spirit shop. Always stocked with a largest selection of foreign and domestic spirits.

******************************
Quite an uproar reportedly occurred in Tyrn Gorthad Monday afternoon, when a large alien crashed into the tomb of one of the more prominent elderly residents of the Roswell retirement community, the bones of whom have rested here in relative peace since a time well before the Great Plague of 1636 T.A., but which have now been confiscated and stored in area 51 as evidence in a police inquiry.

A local scientist interviewed by a Barrow-downer staff reporter suggested that the intruder was in fact a large bear that succumbed to profound lethargy, a common malady among foreigners passing through our unique realm. He further speculated that the bear was merely stumbling around in the search for a den suitable for hibernation, and was not on any ‘mission or quest’ that would interfere with the birthday festivities to take place later this evening.

A police spokesman reassured residents in a press conference, reporting that the bear had not attempted any spells and carried no suspicious weapons or iremarkable jewelry, but had been discovered napping on the floor of the barrow. The subject had not resisted arrest, beyond the twitching of a paw, and had remained unconscious until a double shot espresso was administered. The trespasser was than released later that same day, and was last seen gamboling toward the Misty Mountains.

Although, this incident resembles the famous break-in of the late Third Age, police officials state that the cases appear to be unrelated.

Legate of Amon Lanc · 05-01-2007, 02:30 PM

The 1st May is traditionally a very significant day in many aspects. The biggest significance in the world is it being the International Worker's Day. In many countries, on the 1st May also many demonstrations and protest marches are held, sometimes even led by radical groups and sometimes even ending in conflicts between different interested groups.

"Such problems cannot occur at the Downs," DCI Lalwendë from the Barrow-Downs said to our reporter. "We don't have people with pronounced opinions here... well, maybe except for a few... dozens, let's say... and we've got a Specter of Capitalism and a guy who looks like Karl Marx... but nothing much more, really."

Our reporter, however, discovered that this is not as true, and that indeed some Downers' pressure-group must have participated on this year's 1st May demonstrations. There is an evidence based on a photography taken by our reporter from the streets of Prague, where a protest march of the supporters of a certain ideology took place. We have not yet heard from the Downs' official representatives, but we hereby present our readers the evidence to form their opinion by themselves. See the photo

Meneltarmacil · 05-01-2007, 05:31 PM

In an incredibly bizarre and shocking coincidence early this morning, the house of a certain Nilpaurion Felagund has been completely obliterated, along with its owner.

Reports say that the house was invaded by a swarm of rabid killer squirrels, blown up by a freak volcanic eruption from beneath, and finally crushed by falling meteors.

"Okay, what are you all staring at me for?" asked one Meneltarmacil, who reportedly hid a mysterious device labeled "Random Accident Generator of Doom" behind his back.

Oddwen · 05-02-2007, 03:27 PM

The Argonath: The Awesome-Tastic Namarie Tour
by Alfredo Norman "Pickles" McSpankypants-Winthorpe of Long Grange South III Jr.

This evening marked the ninetieth stop of the band "The Argonath" on their farewell tour, ineptly titled "We Are More Awesome-Tasticular Than You!". The antics of the band were many and varied, ranging from the physically disturbing to the mentally deranged, and every shade in between.

The opening act Sgt. Saucie's Shiny Pan Club Band was a hit amongst the kiddies, playing their bawdy and jolly tune "We All Post On A Green and Black Forum" five times in succession, changing merely the tempo in an attempt to hack it.

Finally, the headlining band took the stage, and began their ninetieth stop on the tour with a bang as the guitarist fell off the stage. Nine helpful people set him back upright, and sheepishly, almost cajolingly, they opened with their hit "I Can Stand Up Better Than You, Dumbface".

The police were called in fifteen seperate and distinct times, but the same number of times were beaten back by walls of sound and strange nearly-invisible creatures summoned by the lead singer with the blood of one of their fans and their guitarist's "special" guitar, which looked more to this reporter like a sacrificial knife, as it had no amplifier cord. Or strings.

"I'm baffled," confessed Mme. Oromin Uialwen loudly. "I came here because it was supposed to be the most fan-tastic-abular thing ever, but I never expected for them to steal my blood! I want my mommy and a tourniquet!"

"We're baffled," shouted an irate policeman, the name of which we did not catch as he could not seem to yell very loudly with smashed bass guitar around his neck. "We keep getting more and more people with missing limbs down at the station - and I for one am getting suspicious."

The band, which consists of two grey statues with one uplifted arm each, played for several hours, in which time seven people collapsed from blood loss. Only once was their magnanimous performance interrupted, when a man leapt with superhuman strength onto the stage and attempted to wrest a guitar from one of the backup players and play it. It took eight men and D.C.I. Lalwende, but finally the man was dragged offstage. We were not able to get a name.

The Argonath's arguably biggest hit ever "Flood Posting" began with a creschendo of kazoos building up a wave of sound that flattened nearby mountains, and ended with a buzzing of pipes and small squashed frogs went over very well, even bringing tears to a few eyes.

"It was beautiful," sobbed a Mr. Elf Warrior. "I've loved this band ever since their first album came out, and I watch all of their shows. I have all of their albums. I cut pictures out of magazines. I take newspapers and clip the letters out of them to spell their names and paste them on my walls. I quit my job to see this show." Mr. Warrior then ran off towards the stage and began to mosh uncontrollably, and violently.

The musical talents of The Argonath are undeniable, mostly due to the fact that their drummer has six legs and is able to play both percussion and a gramaphone simultaneously. Most of the fans whom we asked were not overly adverse to this physical deformity, indeed the drummer seemed to be much loved and coddled over as a young child's teddy bear never was.

"Hubba hubba," we quote from a young lady named Diamond18.

But every six-legged drummer has their enemies, as is evidenced by our next quote from a one-legged moderator named Norman. Or Mormegil. We couldn't hear anything and are making a lot of this up.

"This is outrageous," said Mormegil. "I donated my leg to a very reputable charity in the assurance that it would go to a small cute child, and there it is on a troublesome stone drummer! The authorities shall hear of this!" At this Mr. Mormegil began approaching the stage, but at the same moment a nearly invisible creature grabbed him and dragged him screaming into a newly opened crevasse in the earth.

At this point, this reporter was overcome by the weed smoked by the hobbit next to me, and my notes are all muddled. From my horrible handwriting and the smears of blood, it appears that as the guitarist began the long and occult-sounding riff at the beginning of "Balrog Wings/Balrogs Don't Have Wings", a portal of some sort opened above the stage and many people were sucked therin. Here my words end, save for fragments such as "horrible", "suffer", and "We cannot get out".

And after this, all this humble reporter can say is to go see The Argonath on tour if you possibly can, you will not regret it.

Signing off to bind my arm and clip letters out of this newspaper to spell my new favorite band's name with,
Your Friend
"Pickles" McSpankypants.

The Might · 05-03-2007, 12:10 PM

The Downer managed to acquire another picture, which proves beyond doubt the existence of a link between the Cat Mafia with the Corleone family.
Also, yesterday one of Serious' long time cat friends was found badly injured in a dark alley. Coincidence? We think not...

piosenniel · 05-03-2007, 02:13 PM

From the 'Classifieds'

Come on down if you got the notion!

* Party at the Bird and Baby *

Happy BD, B-D

Bêthberry · 05-03-2007, 08:17 PM

The Downer has exhaustively examined these allegations of feline fellonies and the disappearance of Serious Cat. Crack investigative reporter, Fedora Cat, seen below, has produced the following report.

Fedora Cat:

Notwithstanding that it is extremely difficult to infiltrate the secret society of Cafia, it is still possible to ascertain some information of the actions and behaviours of the members of this secret society that threatens to overrun the Downs. First of all, we find a definite predilection for playing not pianos, but violins.

However, these musical instruments are a ruse to hide the most violent forms of assault known in this country. Here is the formerly peaceful violin-playing cat showing his true colours:

Yet even more nefarious are those feline fellons behind the scene who engage in the worst sort of conspiracy against the happily Dead. I refer to those planners, the catsigliori, who mastermind the overtaking of the barrow:

Thankfully, however, all was not lost in this case. The Downs can commend DCI Eomer of Scotland Yardarm for his swift action in uncovering this cell by the efficient caterwauling of his national musical instrument.

The Downs remains a safe barrow in which to celebrate another day.

Oddwen · 05-03-2007, 09:16 PM

To our reader(s):

It is a great occasion that we write you on; the birthday of a most illustrious forum dedicated to an illustrious and wonderful work, and also another anniversary to be celebrated, namely, the Coming of Age of our Great and now Official newspaper.

We wished to take this moment to beg a boon of our reader(s). While our policy has always been "We'll Print Anything Vaguely Interesting We Get In The Mail, All Of It, No Really We Mean Anything", we take great pains to not run the same story twice (without changing a few names, anyway).

In short, the phantom, will you please stop sending us six pages a week reading nothing but "The Lord Of The Rings And I Are Awesome". We will never get anywhere (important or controversial enough) by continuously stating the obvious.

Thank you,
The Editor

05-01-2007, 02:08 AM	#1
Estelyn Telcontar Princess of Skwerlz Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles) Posts: 7,499	*The Barrow-Downs Official Birthday Newspaper* “Extra, extra! Read all about it! Dead barrow celebrates birthday! Reports of ghosts, wights, zombies, and other ghastly invaders in the publishing house frighten reporters and staff! Get your copy right here!” The young paper boy's enthusiasm for his special task on this early morning sped his feet down the road faster than he realized. He had sold a goodly number of newspapers to interested citizens, yet his cart held more, and he had the ambition to empty it completely before returning to his home. The pale sun arose, yet it gave only a grey light through the mist. The fog rolled up over the fields and rose above him, bending over his head until it became a roof. He felt as if a trap was closing around him, but he did not quite lose heart. He recognized nothing, not having been in this area before, but he had the foreboding feeling that something - or someone - was there, and he was not sure that it was someone - or something - he wanted to meet. Fear prevailed over duty and ambition, and he had begun to turn his cart to make a hasty retreat when he heard a voice, deep and cold, that seemed to come out of the ground, calling to him: "I am waiting for you!" He stood still, his knees knocking a cowardly rap rhythm, but he did not run away. Then his legs gave, and he fell on the ground. Nothing happened, and there was no sound. Trembling he looked up, in time to see a tall dark figure like a shadow against the fading stars. It leaned over him. He thought there were two green-glowing eyes, as though lit with a pale light that seemed to come from a remote distance. Then a grip stronger and colder than iron seized him. The icy touch froze his bones, and he remembered no more. When he came to himself again, for a moment he could recall nothing except a sense of dread. Then suddenly he realized that he had been robbed - his cart was empty! Almost he would have wept bitter tears to think of the lost revenue his papers should have brought him, then he saw a glitter of gold in the bottom of the vehicle. And lo! there were chains and brooches and rings and coins - their worth was much greater than anything he could have expected. Hurriedly, lest any further mischance should happen to him, he pulled the cart and ran down the road homewards as fast as his legs could carry him. ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° Behind him in the dark, a pale greenish light enveloped the countryside. Glowing letters appeared upon a flat, rectangular surface, and the image of a gleaming sword could be seen. From within the nearby mound, a voice could be heard: "What took the paper boy so long today? I want my morning paper - maybe there'll be something interesting to read on the Barrow’s birthday. Here, folks, there are enough for all of you - spread them around!"

05-01-2007, 02:09 AM	#2
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	A Birthday Barrow A special Newspaper was piblished for the day... They'd seen part one... And part two... but the people finnally got to see the concluding part of The Phantom and Alien 3-part special! And now... Ladies and gentlemen. The Downer Newspaper, in association with Lester Square productions proudly presents. For the first time ever... In 2D THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN CARTOON SHOW! ON YOUTUBE Or follow this link… Downloadable Credits: Voices The Phantom - Matt Cornah Alien - Joel Cornah Animation - Lester Square Storyboard - Hookbill the Goomba Scripting - J.k. Cornah Cake - Sir Harrold Music - The Director Eyes - Sauron __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 05-01-2007 at 12:35 PM.

05-01-2007, 07:40 AM	#3
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 5,977	Very Classified Advert--Bottom of the Barrow Eddie Orc Sports and Expedition Outfitters Check out our birthday specials! Discounts up to 70% in honour of the Downs' birthday. Second hand pots and pans--no reasonable offer refused--comes with special recipe for coney stew Reconfigured military equipment--check out the latest in our snow blowers and lawn mowers--guaranteed to produce elven-proof results! Huge selection of army surplus bedrolls, tents, axes, port-a-potties Also, Skateboarders: Come to us for expert shield alterations. There is no shield that cannot be wheeled by our expert fitters and machinists. A few mumak seats are still available--ideal for patio or pool-side furniture. __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

05-01-2007, 02:02 PM	#5
Hilde Bracegirdle Relic of Wandering Days Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: You'll See Perpetual Change. Posts: 1,480	Sword and Sinew – “The rite place for all your extermination needs.” Catering services available. Fully licensed and bonded. Has your barrow got you down? Is it deadly boring? Then liven it up with The Spirits of Angmar, your one stop spirit shop. Always stocked with a largest selection of foreign and domestic spirits. ****************************** Quite an uproar reportedly occurred in Tyrn Gorthad Monday afternoon, when a large alien crashed into the tomb of one of the more prominent elderly residents of the Roswell retirement community, the bones of whom have rested here in relative peace since a time well before the Great Plague of 1636 T.A., but which have now been confiscated and stored in area 51 as evidence in a police inquiry. A local scientist interviewed by a Barrow-downer staff reporter suggested that the intruder was in fact a large bear that succumbed to profound lethargy, a common malady among foreigners passing through our unique realm. He further speculated that the bear was merely stumbling around in the search for a den suitable for hibernation, and was not on any ‘mission or quest’ that would interfere with the birthday festivities to take place later this evening. A police spokesman reassured residents in a press conference, reporting that the bear had not attempted any spells and carried no suspicious weapons or iremarkable jewelry, but had been discovered napping on the floor of the barrow. The subject had not resisted arrest, beyond the twitching of a paw, and had remained unconscious until a double shot espresso was administered. The trespasser was than released later that same day, and was last seen gamboling toward the Misty Mountains. Although, this incident resembles the famous break-in of the late Third Age, police officials state that the cases appear to be unrelated. Last edited by Hilde Bracegirdle; 05-01-2007 at 02:08 PM.

05-01-2007, 02:30 PM	#6
Legate of Amon Lanc A Voice That Gainsayeth Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In that far land beyond the Sea Posts: 7,431	A Downer movement behind the 1st May? The 1st May is traditionally a very significant day in many aspects. The biggest significance in the world is it being the International Worker's Day. In many countries, on the 1st May also many demonstrations and protest marches are held, sometimes even led by radical groups and sometimes even ending in conflicts between different interested groups. "Such problems cannot occur at the Downs," DCI Lalwendë from the Barrow-Downs said to our reporter. "We don't have people with pronounced opinions here... well, maybe except for a few... dozens, let's say... and we've got a Specter of Capitalism and a guy who looks like Karl Marx... but nothing much more, really." Our reporter, however, discovered that this is not as true, and that indeed some Downers' pressure-group must have participated on this year's 1st May demonstrations. There is an evidence based on a photography taken by our reporter from the streets of Prague, where a protest march of the supporters of a certain ideology took place. We have not yet heard from the Downs' official representatives, but we hereby present our readers the evidence to form their opinion by themselves. See the photo __________________ "Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories

05-01-2007, 05:31 PM	#7
Meneltarmacil Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid Posts: 2,254	Local House Destroyed by String of Freak Accidents In an incredibly bizarre and shocking coincidence early this morning, the house of a certain Nilpaurion Felagund has been completely obliterated, along with its owner. Reports say that the house was invaded by a swarm of rabid killer squirrels, blown up by a freak volcanic eruption from beneath, and finally crushed by falling meteors. "Okay, what are you all staring at me for?" asked one Meneltarmacil, who reportedly hid a mysterious device labeled "Random Accident Generator of Doom" behind his back. __________________ I ♣ baby seals.

05-02-2007, 03:27 PM	#8
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,125	Too much fun. The Argonath: The Awesome-Tastic Namarie Tour by Alfredo Norman "Pickles" McSpankypants-Winthorpe of Long Grange South III Jr. This evening marked the ninetieth stop of the band "The Argonath" on their farewell tour, ineptly titled "We Are More Awesome-Tasticular Than You!". The antics of the band were many and varied, ranging from the physically disturbing to the mentally deranged, and every shade in between. The opening act Sgt. Saucie's Shiny Pan Club Band was a hit amongst the kiddies, playing their bawdy and jolly tune "We All Post On A Green and Black Forum" five times in succession, changing merely the tempo in an attempt to hack it. Finally, the headlining band took the stage, and began their ninetieth stop on the tour with a bang as the guitarist fell off the stage. Nine helpful people set him back upright, and sheepishly, almost cajolingly, they opened with their hit "I Can Stand Up Better Than You, Dumbface". The police were called in fifteen seperate and distinct times, but the same number of times were beaten back by walls of sound and strange nearly-invisible creatures summoned by the lead singer with the blood of one of their fans and their guitarist's "special" guitar, which looked more to this reporter like a sacrificial knife, as it had no amplifier cord. Or strings. "I'm baffled," confessed Mme. Oromin Uialwen loudly. "I came here because it was supposed to be the most fan-tastic-abular thing ever, but I never expected for them to steal my blood! I want my mommy and a tourniquet!" "We're baffled," shouted an irate policeman, the name of which we did not catch as he could not seem to yell very loudly with smashed bass guitar around his neck. "We keep getting more and more people with missing limbs down at the station - and I for one am getting suspicious." The band, which consists of two grey statues with one uplifted arm each, played for several hours, in which time seven people collapsed from blood loss. Only once was their magnanimous performance interrupted, when a man leapt with superhuman strength onto the stage and attempted to wrest a guitar from one of the backup players and play it. It took eight men and D.C.I. Lalwende, but finally the man was dragged offstage. We were not able to get a name. The Argonath's arguably biggest hit ever "Flood Posting" began with a creschendo of kazoos building up a wave of sound that flattened nearby mountains, and ended with a buzzing of pipes and small squashed frogs went over very well, even bringing tears to a few eyes. "It was beautiful," sobbed a Mr. Elf Warrior. "I've loved this band ever since their first album came out, and I watch all of their shows. I have all of their albums. I cut pictures out of magazines. I take newspapers and clip the letters out of them to spell their names and paste them on my walls. I quit my job to see this show." Mr. Warrior then ran off towards the stage and began to mosh uncontrollably, and violently. The musical talents of The Argonath are undeniable, mostly due to the fact that their drummer has six legs and is able to play both percussion and a gramaphone simultaneously. Most of the fans whom we asked were not overly adverse to this physical deformity, indeed the drummer seemed to be much loved and coddled over as a young child's teddy bear never was. "Hubba hubba," we quote from a young lady named Diamond18. But every six-legged drummer has their enemies, as is evidenced by our next quote from a one-legged moderator named Norman. Or Mormegil. We couldn't hear anything and are making a lot of this up. "This is outrageous," said Mormegil. "I donated my leg to a very reputable charity in the assurance that it would go to a small cute child, and there it is on a troublesome stone drummer! The authorities shall hear of this!" At this Mr. Mormegil began approaching the stage, but at the same moment a nearly invisible creature grabbed him and dragged him screaming into a newly opened crevasse in the earth. At this point, this reporter was overcome by the weed smoked by the hobbit next to me, and my notes are all muddled. From my horrible handwriting and the smears of blood, it appears that as the guitarist began the long and occult-sounding riff at the beginning of "Balrog Wings/Balrogs Don't Have Wings", a portal of some sort opened above the stage and many people were sucked therin. Here my words end, save for fragments such as "horrible", "suffer", and "We cannot get out". And after this, all this humble reporter can say is to go see The Argonath on tour if you possibly can, you will not regret it. Signing off to bind my arm and clip letters out of this newspaper to spell my new favorite band's name with, Your Friend "Pickles" McSpankypants. __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door Last edited by Oddwen; 05-02-2007 at 03:32 PM.

05-03-2007, 02:13 PM	#10
piosenniel Desultory Dwimmerlaik Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Pickin' flowers with Bill the Cat..... Posts: 7,779	From the 'Classifieds' Come on down if you got the notion! * Party at the Bird and Baby * Happy BD, B-D __________________ Eldest, that’s what I am . . . I knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless - before the Dark Lord came from Outside.

05-03-2007, 08:17 PM	#11
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 5,977	St. Barrow's Day Massacre Averted The Downer has exhaustively examined these allegations of feline fellonies and the disappearance of Serious Cat. Crack investigative reporter, Fedora Cat, seen below, has produced the following report. Fedora Cat: Notwithstanding that it is extremely difficult to infiltrate the secret society of Cafia, it is still possible to ascertain some information of the actions and behaviours of the members of this secret society that threatens to overrun the Downs. First of all, we find a definite predilection for playing not pianos, but violins. However, these musical instruments are a ruse to hide the most violent forms of assault known in this country. Here is the formerly peaceful violin-playing cat showing his true colours: Yet even more nefarious are those feline fellons behind the scene who engage in the worst sort of conspiracy against the happily Dead. I refer to those planners, the catsigliori, who mastermind the overtaking of the barrow: Thankfully, however, all was not lost in this case. The Downs can commend DCI Eomer of Scotland Yardarm for his swift action in uncovering this cell by the efficient caterwauling of his national musical instrument. The Downs remains a safe barrow in which to celebrate another day. __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

05-03-2007, 09:16 PM	#12
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,125	From the Editor (or an editor of her own posts, anyway...) To our reader(s): It is a great occasion that we write you on; the birthday of a most illustrious forum dedicated to an illustrious and wonderful work, and also another anniversary to be celebrated, namely, the Coming of Age of our Great and now Official newspaper. We wished to take this moment to beg a boon of our reader(s). While our policy has always been "We'll Print Anything Vaguely Interesting We Get In The Mail, All Of It, No Really We Mean Anything", we take great pains to not run the same story twice (without changing a few names, anyway). In short, the phantom, will you please stop sending us six pages a week reading nothing but "The Lord Of The Rings And I Are Awesome". We will never get anywhere (important or controversial enough) by continuously stating the obvious. Thank you, The Editor __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door Last edited by Oddwen; 05-04-2007 at 03:36 AM. Reason: See? I am The Editor...