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Old 03-20-2024, 12:38 PM   #641
Huinesoron
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Originally Posted by Galadriel55 View Post
Is this a comfortable pitch range for you to sing in? Another thing I can fix after the score is done is to make it a bit higher or lower, so it doesn't strain as much to sing at the upper/lower ends of the register. If you think that would be helpful, we can experiment a bit.
I have no idea. ^_^ I do know I jumped massively between Beren's first stanza and the rest of him; that's on me, not the score. I think it's fine?

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Originally Posted by Galadriel55 View Post
Yes - I am almost halfway through the final section. I am very excited to finally be done. I also like the singing into dead silence trail-off, so I'll try to replicate that.
I feel like discussing translation has really gotten me back into the Zong headspace. I've also got a drawing project on the go right now, so if I can maintain the drawing urge until that's finished, I should be able to sort out the last few portraits, and maybe even the backgrounds.

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I love this one. And the "give my light to thine". This is perfect.


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Originally Posted by Galadriel55 View Post
The other stanza... I am still mulling over, and may need some convincing. It sounds lovely, but this wasn't how I read Finrod's meaning initially. I had a more depressed read on him. "My life was worthless, a waste, I am dying a stupid inglorious death in a pit" - and no backbone to give his life form and meaning, to echo Beren's earlier love theme "by you my life is justified". Your translation takes a different twist on it, that Finrod finds the thing which makes his existence worthwhile, which is sacrificing himself for Beren. It makes sense grammatically and even story-wise, but a deep part of me still prefers the utterly dejected Finrod.

I rather like your Beren line - even though "Finrod" doesn't rhyme with "Beren", I think we can let that slide for the purpose of better meaning/grammar. It's also a lot easier to work with. Actually.......
Hmm. I think the best path here is if we can find something that can be read either way, to retain the ambiguity. (My read is solidly taken from the Script, where Finrod directly says that saving Beren was his purpose in Arda; it makes all his living relatives furious, as I recall.)

I didn't actually realise we were trying to rhyme daring/Beren; those are very different sounds in my accent. ^_^ I would quite like to keep "Finrod", because I've just checked, and it would be only the second time Beren uses his name to his face - and the first is qualified, "Finrod Elvenking" back in the Appeal. I quite like the idea that, right at the end, Beren's finally able to relate to him as an equal.

No, Finrod! O loyal friend, let hope abide!
But Beren! How can/could my life be justified?


Okay, I really like 'abide', and 'friend' rather than 'king'. And it pulls 'justified' in and keeps the name exchange... the only thing we lose is Finrod talking about deeds or actions, but that gives us that ambiguity: he's either saying 'I'm rubbish, I should just die' or 'how could I live knowing I let you die', and there's no way of knowing which.

hS
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Old 03-20-2024, 10:59 PM   #642
Galadriel55
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Originally Posted by Huinesoron View Post
I have no idea. ^_^ I do know I jumped massively between Beren's first stanza and the rest of him; that's on me, not the score. I think it's fine?
Yeah, you jump an octave. I thought it was kinda cool at first, but then I started wondering if that was a sign the range is weird. Your call, I'm happy to do some shifts when it's done, just let me know.

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Originally Posted by Hui
I feel like discussing translation has really gotten me back into the Zong headspace. I've also got a drawing project on the go right now, so if I can maintain the drawing urge until that's finished, I should be able to sort out the last few portraits, and maybe even the backgrounds.
Yay!

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Originally Posted by Hui
Hmm. I think the best path here is if we can find something that can be read either way, to retain the ambiguity. (My read is solidly taken from the Script, where Finrod directly says that saving Beren was his purpose in Arda; it makes all his living relatives furious, as I recall.)

No, Finrod! O loyal friend, let hope abide!
But Beren! How can/could my life be justified?
I like this, for all the reasons you say. I think it can be read either way, it sounds good, it makes sense. I totally agree about the nice touch with shifting from "king" to "friend". "Could vs can"... I think "could" has a slightly nicer ring to it, and adds to your take on Finrod finding purpose in self-sacrifice without taking away the other meaning, but I don't feel strongly about it. Do you have a preference?

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Originally Posted by Hui
I didn't actually realise we were trying to rhyme daring/Beren; those are very different sounds in my accent. ^_^
Loooool. I spent so much time trying to come up with plausible near-rhymes for "Beren"! Wow. Well, I suppose it's no loss then. *shakes head at herself*
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Old 03-25-2024, 07:49 AM   #643
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Yeah, you jump an octave. I thought it was kinda cool at first, but then I started wondering if that was a sign the range is weird. Your call, I'm happy to do some shifts when it's done, just let me know.
It's just me starting without practicing, and not bothering to fix it. I can sing the whole thing at the higher octave no problem.

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I like this, for all the reasons you say. I think it can be read either way, it sounds good, it makes sense. I totally agree about the nice touch with shifting from "king" to "friend". "Could vs can"... I think "could" has a slightly nicer ring to it, and adds to your take on Finrod finding purpose in self-sacrifice without taking away the other meaning, but I don't feel strongly about it. Do you have a preference?
I've put 'could' in; if it doesn't sing right I can always switch it.

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Loooool. I spent so much time trying to come up with plausible near-rhymes for "Beren"! Wow. Well, I suppose it's no loss then. *shakes head at herself*
In fairness I may have known when you first wrote it! A lot of water has passed under a lot of bridges since then, and some things that should not have been forgotten... were lost.

hS
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Old 03-26-2024, 12:45 PM   #644
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It is done!

I hear the last horn's dying call

I wasn't sure how to best cut out the score at the end and played around with some alternate endings. This is another prime candidate (music starting from "No, Finrod"). There are a couple other variations too. What are your thoughts? Any preference?

I think I am most pleased with the raging against the dying of the light in the 3rd section. I am happy overall too. My main goal was to make the song dynamic and avoid falling into an endless dreary dirge for the whole thing, and I think it ebbs and flows enough that it still sounds alive.


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I've put 'could' in; if it doesn't sing right I can always switch it.
The more I sing this version, the more I like it. Sounds lovely, and leaves it nicely ambiguous as to whether Finrod rediscovers his sense of purpose before his death here or after his death in Truth.


Over the next couple weeks I wanna try to record the actual singing to test it out and maybe come up with the 2-voice harmony lines.
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