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Old 12-13-2003, 03:18 PM   #121
Finwe
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Sam wakes up to find all the lembas gone and Frodo stoking a giant bonfire.

Sam: But the lembas!

Frodo: That signal is over a thousand feet high. Every Eagle in the Royal Air Force is out looking for me... Give it an hour, maybe two. You'll see white wings on the horizon.

Sam: But the lembas!
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Old 12-13-2003, 03:28 PM   #122
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Continuing with that:

*one hour later; Sam is wandering up and down a gully*

Sam: "Must have been terrible for you to watch Gollum Sam, must have been terrible for you to watch Gollum Sam..."

*spots a flight of eagles*

Sam: "There'll be no living with him after this."
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Old 12-14-2003, 03:51 PM   #123
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Silmaril

Another from The Wizard of Oz:

Right after Treebeard picks up Merry and Pippin, Merry says, "I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore!"
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Old 12-16-2003, 02:27 AM   #124
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Elrond: Ah im, u-'erin veleth lin?
Arwen: Gerich veleth nin, ada.
Elrond: Then you will understand what I must do...
Arwen: ???
*Elrond pushes his hand inside Arwen's back*
*Arwen becomes Elrond*
Arwen-Elrond: Thank you.
Elrond: Now, if only I could do this to that Dûnadan...

Later days! [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]
->Elenrod
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Old 12-16-2003, 02:04 PM   #125
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Silmaril

I loved PotC!

In FotR, when Aragorn is fighting Lurtz. Aragorn stabb Lurtz in his legg with his knife. Lurtz drag it out and lick of the blood.
Aragorn: You like pain? Try wearing a corset!
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Old 12-19-2003, 06:11 AM   #126
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OK, since no one else posts, I will!

In TTT:
Random solider: You cannot let them go. By the laws of your father you must pay with your life!
Faramir: Forget the law! It's more like a guideline annyway...

Yep, that was PotC [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
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Old 12-20-2003, 09:46 AM   #127
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Hello?????
Have I scared everyone away with my posting?
Then I just have to post some more [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] ...

PotC again.
Random solider: You cannot let them go. By the laws of your father you must pay with your life!
Faramir: Forget the law! It's more like a guideline annyway...

Come on!!! I'm feeling alone... [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]
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Old 12-22-2003, 01:01 PM   #128
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Silmaril

RotK and TTT mixup:

Frodo and Sam appear in their orc disguises.

Treebeard: Little orcs, buraroom.


TTT EE and earlier TTT:

Merry and Pippin are smoking pipeweed.

Treebeard: *looks in the door* There is always smoke rising from Isengard these days.
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Old 12-22-2003, 08:17 PM   #129
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The scene in TTT EE where Aragorn tries to leave Arwen.

Aragorn: It was a dream Arwen.
Arwen: But where will I go? What will I do? oh Aragorn I love you!
Aragorn: Frankly my dear, I dont give a damn!

**he leaves and Arwen takes a dramatic pose looking to the sky.**

Arwen: I know Ill go back to Tara, Ill win him back, after all tomorrow is another day!

(my attempt at Gone with the Wind)
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Old 12-24-2003, 01:53 PM   #130
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Gimli has just confessed to Legolas that he has fallen in love with Galadriel.

Legolas: You think you have a chance with her? You're short and hairy. Besides, she's married. *starts to walk away, then turns back* If she kisses you, I'll make you a prince.

Gimli: Really?

Legolas: Prince of the Land of Stench.

Later...

Galadriel: *tries to kiss Gimli on the cheek*

Gimli: *tries to get away*

Galadriel: *kisses him*

Gimli: NOOOOOO!!!

A hole opens in the ground under Gimli, and he slides down a tunnel to The Bog Of Eternal Stench.

(From Labyrinth)
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Old 12-24-2003, 03:41 PM   #131
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This isn't really a true movie mix-up, but Laurelin and I always pictured this:

At the gates of Moria, Gandalf is getting frustrated after trying multiple phrases to open the door. He pauses and his hat yells, "Gryffindor!" and the door slowly opens.

Kinda dumb, but I couldn't resist
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Old 12-26-2003, 10:32 AM   #132
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A backwards POTC one: A pirate says, "It calls to us, yes it calls to us precioussss..."
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Old 12-26-2003, 09:54 PM   #133
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Silmaril

Wow, I've got a lot of these lately...

Near the end of RotK, the four hobbits clonk their mugs together.

Merry&Pippin: Take what you can!

Frodo&Sam: Give nothing back!
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Old 12-28-2003, 04:22 AM   #134
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Gondorian 1: A KING!!!
Gondorian 2:WE'VE FOUND A KING!!!
Gondorian 3:CROWN HIM!!
Gondorian 4:CROWN HIM NOW!!!

Peasent: I am not a king.

Gondorian 1: But he's dressed like one.

Peasent: They dressed me up like this. And this isn't the sword reforged, its a false one.

Ioreth: Did you dress him up like this?

Gondorian 1: No.
Gondorian 2: No.
Gondorian 3: No.
Gondorian 4: Yes. BUT HE'S A KING!!
Gondorians: YEAH!!!

Ioreth: There are ways of telling whether he is a king.

Gondorian 1: Are there?
Gondorian 2: Tell us then.

later

Gondorian 1: So, if he has the hands of a healer, then he's made of mithril.

Ioreth: And therfore?

Gondonians: A KING!!!

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 5:23 AM December 28, 2003: Message edited by: TealDude4 ]
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Old 12-28-2003, 06:36 PM   #135
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Silmaril

More flying heads...

Random Gondorian: *picks up a head by the beard*

Head: Not the beard!
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Old 12-29-2003, 02:41 PM   #136
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THEODEN: I take my leave. (or something like that)

ELROND: *pulls back hood*

ARAGORN: You.

ELROND: Misssterr Aragornnnn... Surprised to see me?

OK, that was more lame than Nilpaurion Felagund's bloopers, but still...
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Old 01-09-2004, 05:35 PM   #137
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Sting

I've got quite a few short sections of dialogue here:

Sauron to Saruman: “You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margin of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough.”
– Austin Powers

Frodo to Boromir: “There's only two people I trust. One is me. The other is not you.”
– Con Air

Gandalf to Theoden: “I'm Mithrandir, Your Honor. I've only been with the company for a couple of weeks, but these things are real. Since I joined these people, I've seen sh-t that'll turn you white!”
– Ghostbusters

Gandalf the White to Aragorn: “If you're going to leave someone for dead, you'd better make d@mn sure that they're dead!!”
- I Know What You Did Last Summer

Frodo to Strider: “Listen. Since I've met you I've nearly been incinerated, drowned, shot at, and chopped into fish bait. We're caught in the middle of something sinister here; my guess is Bilbo found out more than he was looking for.”
- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Frodo inside Cirith Ungol: “Bilbo never really believed in the Ring. He thought he'd found a prize.”
Sam: “And what did you find, Mr. Frodo?”
Frodo: “Me? (looks at the phial of Galadriel) Illumination.”
- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Elrond at the Council of Elrond: “So what do you need? Besides a miracle.”
Frodo: “Guns. Lots of guns.”
– The Matrix

Aragorn: “I am your king!”
Boromir: “Well, I didn’t vote for you.”
Aragorn: “You don’t vote for kings.”
Boromir: “Well, how’d you become king then.”
Aragorn: “The Dark Lord Sauron, at the mouth of the Crack of Doom, held aloft the One Ring, when MY ancestor smote it from his being, with this SWORD! That is why I’m your king!”
Boromir: “Look, demented lords dwellin’ in lava pits distributin’ possessed trinkets is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some fanatical pyrotechnic ceremony.”
Aragorn: “Be quiet!”
Boromir: “Well, you can’t expect to wield extreme executive power just ‘cause some fiery ghoul threw a ring at you.”
Aragorn: “Shut Up!”
Boromir: “I mean, if I went around saying I was emperor, just because some charred spectre had lobbed a haunted bit of jewelry at me, they’d put me away.”
Aragorn: “Shut Up! Will you shut up!”
Boromir: “Ah! Now we see the violence inherent in the system. Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!”
Aragorn: “Bloody peasant!”
– Monty Python And The Holy Grail

Gimli: “All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the elves ever done for us?”
– Monty Python’s Life Of Brian

Elrond: “I can't help thinking that somewhere in the universe there has to be something better than man. Has to be.”
- Planet Of The Apes

Boromir: “You want to explain the math of this to me? I mean, where's the sense in risking the lives of the eight of us to save one guy?”
Gandalf: “Anyone wanna answer that?”
Legolas: “Hey, think about the poor b-stard's mother.”
Boromir: “Hey, Leggy, I got a mother, you got a mother, the elf-lord has got a mother. I'm willing to bet that even the wizard's got a mother. Well, maybe not the wizard, but the rest of us have got mothers.”
- Saving Private Ryan

Frodo looking in Galadriel’s mirror: “What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?”
- Spaceballs

Balrog: “Your powers are weak, old man.”
Gandalf: “You can't win. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
– Star Wars

Gandalf The White to Saruman after the Ents have demolished Orthanc's defenses: “When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master.”
– Star Wars

Gimli (when talking about Moria): “It was the best of mines, it was the worst of mines.“
– A Tale Of Two Cities

Aragorn to Frodo: "Listen and understand: Those Nazgûl are out there. They can't be bargained with, they can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity or remorse or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead."
– The Terminator

Aragorn at Helm’s Deep: “We've got company!”
Theoden: “Orcs?”
Legolas: “How many?”
Aragorn: “Uh, all of them, I think.”
- Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Saruman after the Ents have defeated him: “The insurance company is NEVER going to believe this!”
- The World Is Not Enough

Saruman re Lurtz: “For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.”
Orc breeder: “His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.”
Saruman: “Exactly.”
Orc breeder: “He vould have an enormous Schwannstucker!”
Saruman: “That goes without saying.”
Orc breeder: “Voof!”
Saruman: “He's going to be very popular.”
- Young Frankenstein

Wow, I didn't think that it would be this long. [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 7:28 PM January 09, 2004: Message edited by: Nimrothiel ]
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Old 01-09-2004, 10:14 PM   #138
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* [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]falls off chair and dies laughing at last post [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]*

Another one from Star Wars...

*The Fellowship is surrounded by orcs in Moria*

LEGOLAS: It could be worse.

*Balrog roars and orcs run away*

ARAGORN: It's worse.
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Old 01-10-2004, 01:38 AM   #139
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OK now that i can breathe again after laughing so hard...

Probably no one will get this, but if you can believe it, it's such a good call if there ever was one!

Elrond: Here Aragorn, it's the sword of the King.
Aragorn: Well! This is going straight to the pool room!

-The Castle.
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Old 01-10-2004, 12:37 PM   #140
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LOL, All of this posts are so funny. Here's one from TTT.

Aragorn turns to walk out of the armory. Legalos blocks his way.

Aragorn: Move.
Legolas: No.
Aragorn: Please move!
Legolas: No! I can't just step aside and let you escape.

Sorry, I had just seen Pirates of the Carribean before I wrote this.
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Old 01-12-2004, 09:14 AM   #141
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At Helm's Deep:

Legolas: "300 against 10,000? The odds are 2.7 million to one that we will survive this battle."

Aragorn: "Never tell me the odds!"
-Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
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Old 01-12-2004, 09:15 AM   #142
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At Helm's Deep:

Legolas: "300 against 10,000? The odds are 2.7 million to one that we will survive this battle."

Aragorn: "Never tell me the odds!"
-Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
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Old 01-12-2004, 01:07 PM   #143
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Shield

LotR/Princess Bride:
Miracle Max takes a look at Boromir. "This man is completely dead. I see you have already taken his gauntlets. There's only one more thing you can do."
Aragorn: "What is that?"
Max: "Go through his pockets and look for loose change."
Later, Sam pounds on Miracle Max's door with Frodo's limp body.
Max: "Why would you want to get help from a man stinking Sauron fired? I might kill whoever you want me to magick."
Sam: "He's already dead."
Max: "In that case, I'll take a look."
Looks at Frodo.
Max: "He's only mostly dead. Mostly dead is partly alive."
Inserts bellows into Frodo's mouth.
Max: "Hey, you! What's so important it's worth living for?"
Frodo (groaning sort of voice): "Theee Riiinngg."
Sam (eager to cover it up): "Listen! He has a wife and three children. They will all starve to death if he doesn't go back to them."
Max: "Boy, are you a rotten liar."
Sam (giving up): "Alright! He has the One Ring that Sauron wants, and he has to take it to Mordor and destroy it!"
Max (looking at him sharply): "If he lives, Sauron suffers?"
Sam: "Humiliations gallore."
Max: "It's a deal."
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Old 01-12-2004, 06:43 PM   #144
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Silmaril

Quote:
At Helm's Deep:
Legolas: "300 against 10,000? The odds are 2.7 million to one that we will survive this battle."
Aragorn: "Never tell me the odds!"
-Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Star Wars?!?!? I could swear that was Star Trek! Am I getting mixed up? Maybe.
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Old 01-12-2004, 11:12 PM   #145
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You're getting slightly mixed up. I'm as big a Star Wars fan as I am a Lord of the Rings fan; if I didn't know the movie that was from I'd shoot myself. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
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Old 01-14-2004, 06:00 PM   #146
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It was from Star Wars. Something C-3PO said to Han when they were going through the asteroid field. Both shows have their "Never tell me the odds" moments though, so it's easy to get confused.
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Old 01-15-2004, 02:28 PM   #147
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*at the Tower of Orthanc; Saruman is somewhat napping and the palantir is giving off a pulsing glow*

Saruman: "Worm. Worm. Worm!!!!"

Wormtongue(who is eating a snack and listening to Madonnna's "Like a Virgin"): "Huh?"

Saruman: "Wooooorrrrmmmmm!!!!!"

Wormtongue: "Always when I'm eating!"

*enters council chamber*

Wormtongue: "What can I do you for Boss?"

Saruman: "There you are. Hey, answer that for me will ya?"

Wormtongue: "Sure thing Boss. I'll turn on the audio switch, that way they won't see ya."

*goes over to palantir; accidently turns on the video switch*

Nazgul("Vinnie"): "Hello, Saaaaruman."

Wormtongue: "Sorry, wrong switch." *laughs nervously*

Saruman(sighs): "Whaddaya want Vinnie?"

Vinnie: "No, no, no, no, no, it's not what I want. It's what HE wants."

*shot of Sauron the Eye*

Sauron the Eye: "Mwahahahahahahaha."

Saruman and Wormtongue: "Sauron the Eye!"

Sauron: "Well, if it isn't Saruman, and his sidekick, Snake."

Wormtongue: "That's Worm."

Sauron: "Worm, Snake, whatever! Now where's my Ring?"

Saruman: "Uh, about that...we don't have it yet; we'll get it to you by the end of the month."

Sauron: "No, I gotta have it by tomorrow."

Saruman: "The One-Ring-to-rule-them-all that's-been-lost-for-ages by tomorrow?! That's not fair!"

Sauron: "Unfair to the finder, but not to the owner."

Saruman: "So, uh, what happens if we don't find it by tomorrow?"

Sauron: "Tell 'em Vinnie."

Vinnie: "Or else Sauron is gonna look out for YOU!"

*Sauron and Vinnie laugh; Saruman and Wormtongue try to look amused*

Sauron: "Sianara, boys!"

*palantir blinks out; oops, "blinks" ha! Nevermind. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]*

Wormtongue: "The One-Ring-to-rule-them-all-that's-been-lost-for-ages by tomorrow?! What're we gonna do?!!"

Saruman: "I don't know..."
-Spaceballs

&lt;font size=1 color=339966&gt;[ 3:34 PM January 15, 2004: Message edited by: Nimrothiel ]&lt;/font&gt;

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 2:22 PM January 16, 2004: Message edited by: Nimrothiel ]
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Old 01-20-2004, 01:04 PM   #148
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*at Bag End, Gandalf has told Frodo the nature of the Ring*

Frodo: "What am I gonna do?"

Gandalf: "Run, Frodo. Run away and never return!"
-The Lion King
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Old 01-21-2004, 07:20 PM   #149
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Quote:
Something C-3PO said to Han when they were going through the asteroid field.
Ah, yes, I remember that now! [img]smilies/redface.gif[/img] How embarrassing, mixing up Star Wars and Star Trek!

Now, for my mix-up:

Gollum: *singing* Do not forsake me, oh my precioussss...

(From High Noon)
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Old 01-21-2004, 09:54 PM   #150
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Saruman: The Ring is lost Gandalf, it was lost a long time ago. Perhaps the Ring doesn't want to be found.

Gandalf: Everything lost is meant to be found.
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Old 01-27-2004, 08:10 PM   #151
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This time I don't have a silly script to post, but I do have an amusing and true story.

I was watching FotR with the sound muted, and listening to the soundtrack of PotC. As Aragorn was searching for athelas, and Arwen comes up, ("what's this? A ranger, caught off his guard?") some very nice, quiet music was playing. Then just as the scene changed to Arwen getting off the horse and walking towards Frodo, the 'evil pirates' music started. I found it quite amusing, and recommend that you try something like that sometime. Heeheehee, evil Arwen. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
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Old 01-27-2004, 08:29 PM   #152
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*Frodo sees Ringwraith on fellbeast flying over him*
Frodo: GO FLIPPER! WOOOOOOOOOO!

*Eowyn cuts of the Witch-King's arm*
Eowyn: You make me sad. Come, Merry!
Witch-King: Oh, a coward are you? Have at you, you pansy!
Merry: But your arms gone!
Witch-King: Its only a flesh wound.

*Baromir swinging his sword at Amon Hen*
Baromir: My name's Baromir of Gondor and don't you forget it! SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!
*gets shot by orcs*
Baromir: *dying* FREEEEEDOMMMMMMM *dies*
Elrond: *coming out of nowhere* All things come to an end. It is....inevitable.

*Pippin outside the Black Gate*
Pippin: They call me MR. TOOK!
Troll: Duuuuuuh?
Pippin: Death to you! Death to your children! Death to your children's children! Death your friends! Death to your friends' children! Death to all the children! Kill the children!!!!!!
Troll: Duuuuuuuuuuuuh?
Troll #2: Won't somebody think of the children?
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Old 01-27-2004, 08:30 PM   #153
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There seem to be a lot of "Star Wars + lotr" going on here, and I have no idea what "Star Wars" is. It's some kind of movie, right?
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Old 01-27-2004, 09:35 PM   #154
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Quote:
There seem to be a lot of "Star Wars + lotr" going on here, and I have no idea what "Star Wars" is. It's some kind of movie, right?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

*dies fifty billion times*

*giggle* You have *giggle* GOT to be *giggle* kidding. Who hasn't heard of Star Wars?

I'm mean, aren't I?
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Old 01-28-2004, 09:06 AM   #155
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*joins Meneltarmacil in helpless laughter*

Seriously, you HAVE to be joking. I've never met anyone who hasn't heard of "Star Wars," you're right that it is a movie though; so you must have heard something about it. It's actually a series of six movies which were released in two separate trilogies; the second of which will be completed with the release of the third movie of the trilogy in June of 2005. So you are better informed, here is a list of the five movies of the series that you can currently rent/buy (in order according to release):

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Now get to a movie rental store and at least read the backs of the boxes so you have some clue about how the "Star Wars/Lord of the Rings" spoofs work! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

I should try that LotR/PotC thing; "evil Arwen." *snickers* [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
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Old 01-31-2004, 05:42 PM   #156
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Theoden/Saruman: You have no power here, Gandalf Stormcrow! Be gone, before somebody drops a house on you!
_____________________________________________

Elrond: It was forged in the fires of Mt. Doom. Only there can it be unmade. *starts singing* Put that thing back where it came from or so help me...Get that thing away from me, you guys! Put that thing back where it came from, or I'll poke myself in the eye!

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 6:53 PM January 31, 2004: Message edited by: Elennar Starfire ]
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Old 01-31-2004, 11:46 PM   #157
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Here goes... I grew up on British television, let's see how many lotr mixups I can do.

Hetty Wainthropp Investigates:

at the gates of Moria
GANDALF is trying to find the right password to open the gates.
PIPPIN: You'll have to think laterally.
MERRY: What, lie down and think?

Yeah, the quote's not quite right, but if you've seen the show you'll get it...

Or the Goodies:
FRODO: What's on the menu?
SAM: Well, there's lembas, lembas cake, fried lembas, or chicken suprise.
FRODO: I'll have the chicken surprise.
SAM presents him with a piece of lembas.
FRODO: But this is lembas!
SAM: That's the suprise.

Jonathan Creek:
at the Prancing Pony
FRODO has just disappeared.
ARWEN to ARAGORN: But how does a hobbit just disappear like that?
ARAGORN: Hmm...
ARAGORN and ARWEN traipse around the countryside for a bit, talking to people, looking for clues, being puzzled by the mystery and nearly being killed.
ARWEN: I know, Barliman Butterbur threw a cloak of invisiblity over Frodo!
ARAGORN carefully but with exasperation explains why ARWEN is wrong.
ARWEN: I know, Frodo didn't really disappear, he had a stunt double do it for him!
ARAGORN: But that doesn't explain why someone disappeared.
They continue to look for clues.
AUDIENCE: Yeah, how did Frodo disappear like that?!
ARAGORN: I got it!
He proceeds to explain how he deduced Frodo's posession of the Ring, and the Ring's power, from the fact that the floor at the Pony hadn't been swept properly, and the shape of Frodo's ears.
AUDIENCE: he is so smart!

Black Books:
ARAGORN: (wearing an accordion) Hello! I've come to serenade you. I can't play guitar. I can't play this either, but I thought it would be less obvious. So if you could just kind of stand there and look wistful, and I...
EOWYN: No thanks, goodbye.
{coupla lines cut so scene makes lotr sense}
ARAGORN: But... but... (holds up a bunch of flowers)
EOWYN: Get lost!
ARAGORN: No no. You're my summer girlfriend. You don't get angry. You throw your head back and laugh as we bicycle around the Cotswolds in a taxi. You flick the cherry off the pie and only eat the cream because that's what Auntie Nibs used to do.
EOWYN: What?

(obviously, this is something movie-aragorn would do, rather than book-Aragorn)
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Old 02-01-2004, 02:52 PM   #158
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I haven't seen all the Star Wars movies, but monday night when I go to bed, I will dream about 'the Return of the Kin...erm..Jedi'(I always dream about the movies I've seen). They've shown one off the old movies every monday for three weeks now on TV. So I didn't get the 'don't tell me the odds' thing until last monday. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
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Old 02-03-2004, 09:18 AM   #159
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I've got more quotes, but I will be posting them in minimal quantities as I have about eight pages worth of them. So, here's the first chunk:

Hama: Who goes there?
Gandalf: I am Mithrandir. Hurry and tell Theoden that a storm is coming. I have ridden all the way from Fangorn to consult with him.
Hama: Ridden? Ridden what?
Gandalf: Ridden a horse!
Hama: I don't see any horse. That's just a pair of coconuts you're rattling!
Gandalf: So what's wrong with coconuts?
Hama: Well you can't be using coconuts! Where'd you get 'em? Coconuts are tropical, you know, and this is a temperate clime!
Gandalf: So a bird carried them--a crebain! Now go and tell Theoden....
Hama: A crebain? Now hold on a moment, a five-ounce crebain can not carry a one-pound coconut!
Gandalf: Look, I need to speak with Theoden--
Hama: The air flight velocity of a crebain is--
Gandalf: Summon Theoden at once! We have little time! If you don't call him, I shall blast this door down through the hall and out the other end!
Monty Python And The Holy Grail

Witch King: Are you the Ring-bearer?
Frodo: Um. No.
Nazgûl 2: But if he really was the Ring-bearer, he wouldn't say he was one, would he, Number 1?
Witch King: Oh, that's true!
Frodo: All right then. Yes, I am the Ring-bearer!
Nazgûls: He is the Ring-bearer!! He is the Ring-bearer!!
Monty Python’s Life Of Brian

Grishnah: Any last requests?
Merry: Yeah, loosen the knot and let me go.
The Mummy

Pippin: Are we there yet?
Strider: No.
Pippin: Are we there yet?
Strider: No.
Pippin: Are we there yet?
Strider: No!
Pippin: Are we (Strider stabs his knife right between Pippin’s fingers.) Wow, that's amazing! Perfect aim!
Strider: What are you talking about? I missed.
The Mummy Returns

Boromir: You ever been with a woman?
Aragorn: I gotta get the family farm back before I start worrying about that.
O Brother, Where Art Thou?

At end of FOTR…
Legolas: Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?
Aragorn: Well Leggy, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, let's put it to a vote.
Legolas: Suits me. I'm voting for yours truly.
Aragorn: Well I'm voting for yours truly too.
(Aragorn and Legolas look at Gimli for the deciding vote.)
Gimli: Okay... I'm with you fellas.
O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Legolas in Moria: Well, it didn't look like a two-horse town, but try finding a decent hair jelly.
O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Celeborn: You are a pretty old dame, aren't you. What are you doing with a dotty old son-of-a-***** like me?
Galadriel: Well... I haven't the faintest idea.
On Golden Pond

Aragorn at Helm’s Deep: Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.
Patton

Sam: I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Gollum: That does put a damper on our relationship.
The Princess Bride

Gandalf the White: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have four fingers on your right hand?
Frodo: Do you always begin conversations this way?
The Princess Bride

Legolas: Is it possible? Is it possible to improve on perfection?
The Quick And The Dead

Aragorn: I need a woman.
Arwen: You need a bath.
The Quick and the Dead

Gimli to Legolas, as Balrog shows up: We should have brought shotguns for this job.
Pulp Fiction

Boromir: Why did it have to be a cave troll? I hate cave trolls.
Raiders of the Lost Ark

Gandalf: Meet me at the Prancing Pony. Be ready for me. I'm going after that wizard.
Frodo: How?
Gandalf: I don't know, I'm making this up as I go.
Raiders Of The Lost Ark

<font size=1 color=339966>[ 10:20 AM February 03, 2004: Message edited by: Nimrothiel ]
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Old 02-03-2004, 09:57 AM   #160
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BIG LIST OF FAMOUS MOVIE HYPER RIP-OFF SCENES!

TTT, Uruk-hai...

Random Orc: I'M HUNGRY!
*Ugluk chops his head off*
Ugluk: DINNER TIME!!!
Grishnakh: I had his liver with some fava beans and nice Chianti.
Ugluk: Play the game, orcy, play the game!
*Grishnakh turns to Pippin*
Grishnakh: So we meet again, for the first and last time!
Pippin: You talkin' to me? YOU TALKIN' TO ME?
Grishnakh: Well, yes.
*Suddenly Treebeard stomps the orc and picks up Pippin and Merry*
Merry: (has no idea whats going on) I'm on top of the world, ma!
Pippin: Who are you?
Treebeard: We are the knights who say....HOOM!
Pippin: (singing) The treeeeeeees are aliiiiiiive!

FotR, The Mirror of Galadriel...

Galadriel: Here's lookin' at you, kid.
Frodo: Nice....mirror you got there.
Galadriel: SEE THE LIGHT!
*Frodo looks into the mirror and sees the Eye of Sauron*
Eye of Sauron: Mammy, nyah!
Frodo: NOOOO! IT's IMPOSSIBLE!
*turns to Galadriel*
Frodo: You take it!
Galadriel: (getting all evil-ish) I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille!
Frodo: (meekly) There's no place like home.

More later.
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