Crazy Captions - Page 291 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Beanamir of Gondor · 09-18-2006, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boromir88

Gandalf: Don't do it! It could be a black squirrel!

The black squirrels on our campus are evil as well. They attack us on a regular basis.

Gandalf: Where'd you get the coconut?
Saruman: I found it.
Gandalf: Found it? In Isengard? The coconut's tropical!
Saruman: What do you mean?
Gandalf: Well, this is a temperate zone
Saruman: The crebain may fly south with the sun or the Balrog or the Nazgul may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Gandalf: Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
Saruman: Not at all. They could be carried.
Gandalf: What? A crebain carrying a coconut?
Saruman: It could grip it by the husk.
Gandalf: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.

....you get the point

Holbytlass · 09-19-2006, 05:55 AM

Gandalf: This is the dumbest sayantz* I've ever been to! Obviously that's your right hand poking the cloth up.

*I can't spell it and dictionary.com was no help! How can one look up a word when they can't spell it!?

Rune Son of Bjarne · 09-19-2006, 08:13 AM

A casual talk betwen Gandalf and Saruman about interior decoration, spawned the idea that would become the greatest soap ever. . . Designing Wizards

Oddwen · 09-19-2006, 05:41 PM

*cough seance cough*

Gandalf: I can't believe it worked...

Saruman: I know, the formula I invented was a stroke of genius! Now help me dig Grima out from under his new eyebrows...

(Ha ha, maybe I shouldn't be allowed to spell-check, I tried to spell it 'forumla'!)

Gandalf: ...but I'm telling you, underneath that drapery is Count Olaf!

Saruman: Nonsense, Count Olaf has one eyebrow, and this Palantir has no eyebrows.

Rikae · 09-19-2006, 08:10 PM

Brad Dourif in the barber chair: No, Chris, I don't think we should do a spoof of the shaving scene in "Mississippi Burning"...I still have the scars from the first time!

Christopher Lee: No, we just want to give you some highlights. Put on this smock...

Ian: You'll look divine!

Gil-Galad · 09-20-2006, 07:06 AM

Saruman: you know that old man down why west-fold?

Gandalf: uh yes?

Saruman: well you know that whole 'magic bowling ball' thing hes been ranting about?

Gandalf: uh...sure...what about it?

Saruman: *points to cloth*

Gandalf: get out! no way! dude really! i can't beleive it! it's taken us like forever to get it!

Saruman: nah i'm just pulling you its only a Palantir

Gandalf: i hate you...lets battle to the death while i get saved by an eagle

Saruman: fine then i will create an evil army and kill people...

Bêthberry · 09-20-2006, 09:10 AM

Istari discuss the fabric of Arda.

Holbytlass · 09-20-2006, 01:31 PM

Gandalf: Thanks to all those who posted and pm'ed with the proper "seance" we can proceed!
Saruman: Exactly. We have raised a new picture!!

They also managed to raise Taylor's doppelganger!

narfforc · 09-20-2006, 01:55 PM

Man: And this is one of The Hazy-orcs, you need to have spectacles like mine to see them.

Orc: Has anyone got a tablet, my head is a bit fuzzy.

Gurthang · 09-20-2006, 02:00 PM

Man: "Oh, right. There's a big, scary monster right behind me. Yeah, like I'm gonna fall for that one."

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-20-2006, 02:52 PM

Taylor's new job at drug rehab was really starting to get him down.

OR

Richard Taylor was disappointed not to get the roll in The Sound of music, but to lose it to THAT guy was the final insult.

elronds_daughter · 09-20-2006, 05:01 PM

Quoth Mr. Taylor: "Why...why won't she leave me alone? The stalking is bad enough, but the slavering..." <shudders>

Kath · 09-21-2006, 04:29 AM

Taylor: But PJ, I was working from your ideas, I thought this was what you wanted Arwen to look like!

elronds_daughter · 09-21-2006, 04:59 AM

Orc: I am Ugluk! I command! Now you all better listen to me! <excessive control-freak ranting>

Taylor: Okay...so experimenting with a female Ugluk wasn't the greatest idea...

Rune Son of Bjarne · 09-21-2006, 05:19 AM

What made the orc really scary was the sweater it was wearing. . . .So last year!

mormegil · 09-21-2006, 07:02 AM

Photographic proff that WETA is the same as every other company in the world: We all have a cube-mate just like that.

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-21-2006, 07:14 AM

After the fall of Sauron, it was hard to find work for Orcs. This one tried to be a waiter, but he was still too nosey.

Orc: Who ordered the fish stake?

Richard: I hardly think that’s any of your business!

OR

Orc: Hay! Hay! Mr Taylor! Hay! Remember me!

Taylor: Aaagh. I used to go to school with that guy.

Lalwendë · 09-21-2006, 10:48 AM

Finally, photographic proof that old Goths have pointy ears.

THE Ka · 09-21-2006, 04:13 PM

SoapNet was becoming even more desperate...

~ Ka

Morsul the Dark · 09-21-2006, 04:38 PM

Both men contemplate why th doorknob is in the shot
right bottom corner

The Elf-warrior · 09-22-2006, 02:25 PM

Richard Taylor: "Yeah, so what if Grushgrug can't sing?"

The Only Real Estel · 09-23-2006, 09:27 PM

Middle-Earth Idol contestant Richard Taylor was less than thrilled with the judge that would be picking his song to sing in the next round...

Gurthang · 09-24-2006, 12:17 AM

Announcer: "Congratulations, you've won! And your prize is... A kiss from our *ehem* lovely Edith!"

narfforc · 09-24-2006, 07:11 AM

Orc: Excuse me, I can't get this makeup off, I think the hobbits swapped the adhesive for super glue.

Man: Oh well at least you'll be a stick on sure thing as an extra in The Hobbit.

Orc: What!!!!!!!!, I can't wait that long.

The Sixth Wizard · 09-25-2006, 02:31 AM

Man: So THAT'S what orc women look like!

Other Man: Nope that's a dwarf woman. That's why last year Dale's biggest export was skin-care products to the Lonely Mountain, closely followed by shampoo.

OR

Man: So THAT'S what orc women look like!

Other Man: Nope that's an Entwife!!

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-25-2006, 02:48 AM

Orc: I think it's time for a new Picture!

Denethor lost his Teddy Bear!

OR

The Steward learns not to play with fire the hard way.

Lalwendë · 09-25-2006, 02:55 AM

Years of sitting on cold marble had given Denethor a serious haemmorhoid problem.

Thinlómien · 09-25-2006, 03:12 AM

"Achooo!"

Lalwendë · 09-25-2006, 03:50 AM

At Home With The Stewards.

"Sharrronnn!!!"

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-25-2006, 03:54 AM

After losing both arms, Denethor found it hard to play Tennis and so gave up.

OR

Boromir: Father... I'm... a member of the Gandalf the grey fan club!

Denethor: No-oooooooo!

Rune Son of Bjarne · 09-25-2006, 04:26 AM

Denethor once again found him self crying, after an argument with his throne.

or

Once again Denethor fell down the stairs as he was sitting in the Kings throne.

Gothmog · 09-25-2006, 04:28 AM

Denethor: Someone has super-glued my arms and legs together! FAAARAAAMIIIR!!!

OR:

A tomato stain on my favourit dress, NOOOOO!

OR:

Denethor having a bad hair day.

OR even:

Denethor: I'm blind! I can't see! HELP ME!
Faramir: *sigh* Father, open your eyes... (duh!)

Brinniel · 09-25-2006, 05:33 AM

Denethor's mother often warned him, "If you hold that expression too long it'll get stuck that way." Sadly, Denethor never did believe her....

Kath · 09-25-2006, 06:18 AM

Denethor: I WANT MY MUMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Volo · 09-25-2006, 06:21 AM

Denethor daydreaming about being spanked when he was young.

Lalwendë · 09-25-2006, 06:27 AM

"Oooh! Me coccyx is broken!"

Denethor discovers the hard way that he's now too old for surfing down the stairs on an old tea tray from the refectory.

mormegil · 09-25-2006, 06:45 AM

Pippin (off screen): My Lord, why do you close your eyes?

Denethor: If I can't see what going on then it truly isn't.

The Squatter of Amon Rûdh · 09-25-2006, 07:03 AM

"Never again shall I bet on De Montfort to win the Boat Race"

"After opening a few windows, Denethor made Pippin promise to cut down his protein intake"

"A short time later, the Steward abolished practical jokes involving drawing pins"

"I thought I told you never to sing that song"

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-25-2006, 07:08 AM

Denethor watches in horror as Boromir explodes for no reason.

OR

Denethor is denied his Happy Meal.

Kitanna · 09-25-2006, 07:24 AM

A Throne Room Named Desire
Denethor: STELLLA!

09-19-2006, 05:55 AM	#11602
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	Gandalf: This is the dumbest sayantz* I've ever been to! Obviously that's your right hand poking the cloth up. *I can't spell it and dictionary.com was no help! How can one look up a word when they can't spell it!? __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

09-19-2006, 05:41 PM	#11604
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,126	cough seance* cough* Gandalf: I can't believe it worked... Saruman: I know, the formula I invented was a stroke of genius! Now help me dig Grima out from under his new eyebrows... (Ha ha, maybe I shouldn't be allowed to spell-check, I tried to spell it 'forumla'!) Gandalf: ...but I'm telling you, underneath that drapery is Count Olaf! Saruman: Nonsense, Count Olaf has one eyebrow, and this Palantir has no eyebrows. __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

09-20-2006, 07:06 AM	#11606
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,733	Saruman: you know that old man down why west-fold? Gandalf: uh yes? Saruman: well you know that whole 'magic bowling ball' thing hes been ranting about? Gandalf: uh...sure...what about it? Saruman: points to cloth Gandalf: get out! no way! dude really! i can't beleive it! it's taken us like forever to get it! Saruman: nah i'm just pulling you its only a Palantir Gandalf: i hate you...lets battle to the death while i get saved by an eagle Saruman: fine then i will create an evil army and kill people... __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

09-20-2006, 09:10 AM	#11607
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 5,979	Istari discuss the fabric of Arda. __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

09-20-2006, 01:31 PM	#11608
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,042	Gandalf: Thanks to all those who posted and pm'ed with the proper "seance" we can proceed! Saruman: Exactly. We have raised a new picture!! They also managed to raise Taylor's doppelganger! __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

09-19-2006, 08:10 PM	#11605
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,489	Brad Dourif in the barber chair: No, Chris, I don't think we should do a spoof of the shaving scene in "Mississippi Burning"...I still have the scars from the first time! Christopher Lee: No, we just want to give you some highlights. Put on this smock... Ian: You'll look divine!

09-20-2006, 01:55 PM	#11609
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Man: And this is one of The Hazy-orcs, you need to have spectacles like mine to see them. Orc: Has anyone got a tablet, my head is a bit fuzzy. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

09-20-2006, 02:00 PM	#11610
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Man: "Oh, right. There's a big, scary monster right behind me. Yeah, like I'm gonna fall for that one." __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

09-20-2006, 02:52 PM	#11611
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Taylor's new job at drug rehab was really starting to get him down. OR Richard Taylor was disappointed not to get the roll in The Sound of music, but to lose it to THAT guy was the final insult. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

09-20-2006, 05:01 PM	#11612
elronds_daughter Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Location: Between the fortune cookie and the post-its. Posts: 644	The REAL ex-girlfriend of doom... Quoth Mr. Taylor: "Why...why won't she leave me alone? The stalking is bad enough, but the slavering..." <shudders> __________________ I'd like to be the king of all Londinium and wear a shiny hat.

09-21-2006, 04:29 AM	#11613
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,533	Taylor: But PJ, I was working from your ideas, I thought this was what you wanted Arwen to look like! __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

09-21-2006, 04:59 AM	#11614
elronds_daughter Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Location: Between the fortune cookie and the post-its. Posts: 644	Orc: I am Ugluk! I command! Now you all better listen to me! <excessive control-freak ranting> Taylor: Okay...so experimenting with a female Ugluk wasn't the greatest idea... __________________ I'd like to be the king of all Londinium and wear a shiny hat.

09-21-2006, 07:02 AM	#11616
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,637	Photographic proff that WETA is the same as every other company in the world: We all have a cube-mate just like that. __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

09-21-2006, 07:14 AM	#11617
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	For Family Guy fans... After the fall of Sauron, it was hard to find work for Orcs. This one tried to be a waiter, but he was still too nosey. Orc: Who ordered the fish stake? Richard: I hardly think that’s any of your business! OR Orc: Hay! Hay! Mr Taylor! Hay! Remember me! Taylor: Aaagh. I used to go to school with that guy. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

09-21-2006, 10:48 AM	#11618
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Finally, photographic proof that old Goths have pointy ears. __________________ Gordon's alive!

09-21-2006, 04:13 PM	#11619
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,403	SoapNet was becoming even more desperate... ~ Ka __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni?

09-21-2006, 04:38 PM	#11620
Morsul the Dark Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 3,448	Both men contemplate why th doorknob is in the shot right bottom corner __________________ Morsul the Resurrected

09-22-2006, 02:25 PM	#11621
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Richard Taylor: "Yeah, so what if Grushgrug can't sing?" __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

09-23-2006, 09:27 PM	#11622
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Middle-Earth Idol contestant Richard Taylor was less than thrilled with the judge that would be picking his song to sing in the next round...

09-24-2006, 12:17 AM	#11623
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Announcer: "Congratulations, you've won! And your prize is... A kiss from our ehem lovely Edith!" __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

09-24-2006, 07:11 AM	#11624
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Orc: Excuse me, I can't get this makeup off, I think the hobbits swapped the adhesive for super glue. Man: Oh well at least you'll be a stick on sure thing as an extra in The Hobbit. Orc: What!!!!!!!!, I can't wait that long. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

09-25-2006, 02:31 AM	#11625
The Sixth Wizard Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Stuck under a rock in Valinor with Ar-Pharazon. Posts: 480	Man: So THAT'S what orc women look like! Other Man: Nope that's a dwarf woman. That's why last year Dale's biggest export was skin-care products to the Lonely Mountain, closely followed by shampoo. OR Man: So THAT'S what orc women look like! Other Man: Nope that's an Entwife!!

09-25-2006, 02:48 AM	#11626
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	New? Orc: I think it's time for a new Picture! Denethor lost his Teddy Bear! OR The Steward learns not to play with fire the hard way. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

09-25-2006, 02:55 AM	#11627
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Years of sitting on cold marble had given Denethor a serious haemmorhoid problem. __________________ Gordon's alive!

09-25-2006, 03:12 AM	#11628
Thinlómien Shady She-Penguin Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: In a far land beyond the Sea Posts: 8,093	"Achooo!" __________________ Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris

09-25-2006, 03:50 AM	#11629
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	At Home With The Stewards. "Sharrronnn!!!" __________________ Gordon's alive!

09-25-2006, 03:54 AM	#11630
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	After losing both arms, Denethor found it hard to play Tennis and so gave up. OR Boromir: Father... I'm... a member of the Gandalf the grey fan club! Denethor: No-oooooooo! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

09-25-2006, 04:28 AM	#11632
Gothmog Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Where I lay my head is home Posts: 421	Denethor: Someone has super-glued my arms and legs together! FAAARAAAMIIIR!!! OR: A tomato stain on my favourit dress, NOOOOO! OR: Denethor having a bad hair day. OR even: Denethor: I'm blind! I can't see! HELP ME! Faramir: sigh Father, open your eyes... (duh!) __________________ Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch? He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom ~Lurker...

09-25-2006, 05:33 AM	#11633
Brinniel Reflection of Darkness Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Polishing the stars. Well, somebody has to do it; they're looking a little bit dull. Posts: 2,983	Denethor's mother often warned him, "If you hold that expression too long it'll get stuck that way." Sadly, Denethor never did believe her.... __________________ Nolite te bastardes carborundorum

09-25-2006, 06:18 AM	#11634
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,533	Denethor: I WANT MY MUMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

09-25-2006, 06:21 AM	#11635
Volo Silver in My Silent Heart Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: the great beauty Posts: 1,611	Denethor daydreaming about being spanked when he was young.

09-25-2006, 06:27 AM	#11636
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	"Oooh! Me coccyx is broken!" Denethor discovers the hard way that he's now too old for surfing down the stairs on an old tea tray from the refectory. __________________ Gordon's alive!

09-25-2006, 06:45 AM	#11637
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,637	Pippin (off screen): My Lord, why do you close your eyes? Denethor: If I can't see what going on then it truly isn't. __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

09-25-2006, 07:03 AM	#11638
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh Spectre of Decay Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Bar-en-Danwedh Posts: 2,178	The horror "Never again shall I bet on De Montfort to win the Boat Race" "After opening a few windows, Denethor made Pippin promise to cut down his protein intake" "A short time later, the Steward abolished practical jokes involving drawing pins" "I thought I told you never to sing that song" __________________ Man kenuva métim' andúne?

09-25-2006, 07:08 AM	#11639
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	No uncloaking jokes! Serously! Denethor watches in horror as Boromir explodes for no reason. OR Denethor is denied his Happy Meal. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...