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Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page |
07-14-2008, 05:17 PM
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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07-14-2008, 05:24 PM
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#1042 | |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Episode 15 Episode 51 and Episode 86 Oh how I seem to like reusing that punchline... 
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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07-14-2008, 07:11 PM
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#1043 |
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Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,508
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Leslie 'Sonny' Moreduck, Editor in Chief
The Barrow Newspaper 57 Old Barrow Way West Downshire Barrow Downs BD27 G46 My Dearest Les: As I haven't seen you since Mother's Day, I thought I would drop a line just to say hello, and thank you again for the lovely "I Survived the 2004 Downer's Picnic" t-shirt you gave me as a present. Dear, I know you said it was a collector's item, and very valuable, but I passed by your news offices the other day (you weren't in), and there was a box full of what seemed to be the same t-shirts lying in the gutter next to the trash cans. Are those made of a different material or something? Ah well, no matter. I always get complimented when I wear it to the Bridge Club. The other mothers say things like, "Thats what your son got you for Mother's Day? My, he is a big spender!" Or "If he got you that as a gift, I can just imagine what your funeral will be like." It's so very nice to have such a thoughtful son. Father is doing fine now that he's had his bowels shaved. There's no more of that very loud grunting and gasping from the loo in the morning. He sends his love. Well, what he actually said was, "we should have found a midwife with a twig and rooted it out," but you know how he is -- such a comedian. Your brother Bertie sends his best wishes. Just think, only five more years and he'll be out on good behavior. As you know, he would have gotten out earlier had it not been for that unfortunate mishap when his Tourettes suddenly acted up and he insulted the parole board for several minutes (public speaking was never his forte'). Anyway, congratulations on yet another fine edition of 'The Downer'. I don't really understand a word of it, but it seems to be spelled correctly and has very colorful adverts. I should expect you'll be coming around next week as your grandmum has finally gotten her false teeth and won't be drooling gruel on your nice suit like last time. See you soon dear. Love, your Mum
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. Last edited by Morthoron; 07-14-2008 at 08:15 PM. |
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07-14-2008, 07:33 PM
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#1044 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
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07-14-2008, 08:36 PM
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Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
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Bravo sir, bravo! An excellent, wacky, overblown and hilarious centennial.
 Plus, I believe we've found who has run off with Rune's balloon...can't quite make out who it is...
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
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07-20-2008, 05:02 PM
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#1046 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Let's have a look at some true facts...
 A new age has begun for The Phantom and Alien! Prepare yourselves for an adventure of epic proportions! Yes, this, volume 2 of their adventures, will see The Phantom and Alien engaging in murder, intrigue, murder, suicide, murder, monsters, catapults, murder again and, of course, John Fillis. It's a roller coaster ride, who knows where it will end? ... Well... I do... But still! 
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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07-20-2008, 05:39 PM
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#1047 |
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A Voice That Gainsayeth
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In that far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 7,431
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Ah, once again and after a long time I could read the Downer when it's still "fresh"... "we're pretty sure it's more than three" And the comic... Hmm... weird. Where's Alien? But besides that, Phantom's expression on the end is priceless...
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"Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories |
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07-20-2008, 07:50 PM
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#1048 |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Hmm... Volume 2, week 1... My brother didn't laugh as much as last time... I did though! So it means that it was good!
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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07-20-2008, 09:05 PM
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Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,508
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LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Dear Sirs: Having read your latest edition, I must say I am replying now with great consternation and concern. I combed each article, thumbed through the advertisements, and rummaged about in the classifieds...and I couldn't really find anything to complain about! I must say this is a first for me, and I am utterly at a loss as to whether or not I shall henceforth purchase your paper. You, sirs, have eliminated my God-given right to complain; therefore, I am mad as Hades, and I am not going to take it anymore! Too long have responsible government officials tried to make things easier for me, too long has the road been made smooth where once lay potholes, too often have clerks in sales establishments tried to be pleasant. I want my misery! I want to be angry for no apparent reason, and you've taken that away from me! Without being able to criticize, complain and otherwise harbor irrational bitterness, I'll have nothing left but happiness. This is wrong on so many levels, I feel that this must be some sort of sinister plot promulgated by unknown high-placed insiders to make everyone merry. Tra-la-la, tripping through the daisies, peace and love and puppy dog entrails...BAH! You have just one week to return to your horrid and distorted editorial pieces, terrible grammar and otherwise substandard reporting, or I shall be forced to cancel my subscription. Sincerely, Mr. Peevish Whinge-Carp Old Grumbley Rd, Nagshead
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
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07-24-2008, 09:25 PM
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#1050 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Facing the world's troubles with Christ's hope!
Posts: 1,635
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It's an honor of a lifetime to on the cover of the Downer (which goes to show how sad my life really is
). Though I must ask: how did the Downer know that I collect brains? That's the reason that I'm stalking Legate right now! Of course the government has lied to the people more than three times Hookbill! I'd even say that they've lied as many as ten times!
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I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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07-25-2008, 12:52 PM
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#1051 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
 ... well, who doesn't? Anyway, having your face on the cover of the Downer means your life has meaning... My life obviously doesn't have any meaning...
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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07-25-2008, 01:27 PM
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#1052 | |
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Flame Imperishable
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Right here
Posts: 3,928
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Quote:
 Joking, joking.
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Welcome to the Barrow Do-owns Forum / Such a lovely place
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07-25-2008, 01:46 PM
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#1053 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
EDIT: I thought that John Fillis was a dog, not a giant monster. Alien said so himself!
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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07-27-2008, 05:01 PM
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#1054 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Getting into your house
With just enough time to steal your wallet...
Special thanks and a large oyster to Formendacil for his amusing story about Manwe!  The continuing saga continues! Lets check in on Alien, shall we? 
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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07-27-2008, 10:24 PM
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#1055 |
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Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,508
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LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Dear Editor: I must duly commend your reporting staff on the timely article "Interlectual Accused of Complete Idiocy!" Very few publications have the gravitas these days to print such theoretic and controversial material. As you may or may not be aware, ongoing research is being conducted into 'bricks-for-brains' syndrome (ie., endocranial thickus brickus) at the American Sociological Society for Eccentric Studies (A.S.S.E.S). Having recently received a sizable endowment from the National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH), more in-depth study into the very nature of bricks-for-brains (both causitive and formative) will be instituted, as well as radical treatments for the mitigation of the brick material, including laser and sound wave techniques (as the old-fashioned methods of removal -- through the sinus cavity or ear canal with forceps or a tablespoon -- have proved ineffective). Bricks-for-brains syndrome was first positively identified by Dr. Adobe Dutch-Bond in 1603 (although there were incidental mentions of syndrome-like symptoms dating back to the Roman Vitruvius in the 1st century BCE). Dr. Dutch-Bond noted a pattern among the Masons, important and influential civic leaders to a man, for inexplicable "bricke headednesse" that started at "a very yonge age and didst continue unabated for the natural lyfe of yon men". Unable to exploit his theory due to the rudimentary science of the age, Dr. Dutch-Bond merely concluded that these men were "imbeciles of the first order, lacking witte or propriety". Studies have progressed markedly since then, and it has been concluded that, based on measurements of a skull in the Russian Kremlin pruported to be that of Adolf Hitler, the cranium contained a cinder-block 44 cm × 21.5 cm × 10 cm in size, weighing in excess of 25 pounds. This, of course, left little room for concrete thought. Sincerely, Dr. Trench Kiln Director American Sociological Society for Eccentric Studies
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. Last edited by Morthoron; 08-24-2008 at 08:27 PM. |
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07-28-2008, 06:21 AM
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#1056 |
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Flame Imperishable
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Right here
Posts: 3,928
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Dear most estimable editor
I, of the Pattersons Intellectual Society for Social and Technological Advantage and Kinetic Energy Refusal am highly infuriated by your proposal that we may have bricks in our brains. We jus' cpeek funy. I's no' are folt. I vehemently request that you rremove such an article from the vicinty of your paper that allows individuals to recieve news. Yours offenenendeddly, Cleh Verboy
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Welcome to the Barrow Do-owns Forum / Such a lovely place
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07-28-2008, 01:06 PM
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#1057 | |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Where young people go to retire
Posts: 709
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"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
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07-28-2008, 02:12 PM
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#1058 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Facing the world's troubles with Christ's hope!
Posts: 1,635
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Very nice job on the cover story, Hookbill, I know a couple of people who's whole brain seems to be a brick!
I'm beginning to like Volume 2 of Phantom and Alien better than the old ones.
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I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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07-28-2008, 02:18 PM
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#1059 | |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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07-28-2008, 02:49 PM
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#1060 |
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A Voice That Gainsayeth
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In that far land beyond the Sea
Posts: 7,431
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I would like to comment the article "Manwë stumbles". What I could possibly say about it is that it.... shocked me. I didn't expect an article written in such a "serious" manner ever printed in "The Downer". I mean... it's not... crazy. Or, at least not the way the others usually are. Odd.
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"Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories |
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07-28-2008, 03:14 PM
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#1061 | |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
If you want to rectify this, you can always write an article yourself. I'm always happy to accept submissions (as it means less work for me... *cough*)
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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07-30-2008, 12:58 PM
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#1062 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
But Hookbill, You should be very proud! I have converted my seven year old brother to P and A fandom... I think he has started a club... But now he and I can qoute about five P and As and The Job Hunt!
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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07-31-2008, 04:50 PM
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#1063 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Phalian!
Well, I've been thinking about this and discussing it with my siblings and have come to a decision! Because this new volume of The Phantom and Alien is quite long and complicated, I'm going to start publishing two strips per week.*
So, for you Phalian fans, here is this weeks second episode...  Episode 002 Episode 001 *Do note that this may change as soon as I start Univercity again. But I do have about 90% of this story planned out and most of Volume 3 in the works as well.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 08-01-2008 at 08:28 AM. |
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08-01-2008, 08:16 AM
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#1064 |
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Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,994
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Manwë has a ninety-foot train!!?? It is HO gauge, er, scale for those serious hobbyists, or OO? Playmobil or Lego? Is it possible he is the secret author of the Thomas the Tank Engine series, another of the maia who yearns for creativity but, like Aulë, does so secretly in fear of retribution?
And now I can't decide if Manwë would be Mr. Conductor or The Engineer.
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
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08-01-2008, 12:56 PM
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#1065 | |
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Flame Imperishable
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Right here
Posts: 3,928
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Quote:
But who cares! More P&A! YAY!
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Welcome to the Barrow Do-owns Forum / Such a lovely place
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08-03-2008, 02:28 AM
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#1066 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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But, why did you have to dicuss this with your siblings to make this decision?
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-03-2008, 02:48 AM
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#1067 | |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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08-03-2008, 02:52 AM
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#1068 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-03-2008, 05:02 PM
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#1069 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Let's have a look at some News. Or, at least, something that pretends to look like news...
 I wonder what Alien is up to... Let's find out, shall we?  Episode 003 Episode 002 Episode 001 The next episode will be up on Thursday!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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08-03-2008, 05:08 PM
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#1070 |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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I can't believe Lal got demoted. Especially working with Alien! I'm going to sue!
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-03-2008, 05:12 PM
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#1071 | |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
And since when has anything Alien has done been counted as 'working'?
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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08-03-2008, 05:24 PM
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-04-2008, 02:23 AM
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#1073 | |
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Flame Imperishable
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Right here
Posts: 3,928
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Quote:
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Welcome to the Barrow Do-owns Forum / Such a lovely place
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08-07-2008, 02:36 AM
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#1074 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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The adventures of The Phantom And Alien continue in episode 5... With special guest, John Fillis!
 Episode 004 Episode 003 Episode 002 Episode 001 What's going the happen next? Well, you'll just have to wait until Monday.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 08-07-2008 at 02:48 AM. |
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08-09-2008, 01:08 AM
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#1075 |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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So John Fillis is the answer to the Phantom's problems? Well, my brother will be happy now...
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-10-2008, 05:00 PM
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#1076 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Making the Wights of The Barrow Downs insane...
Well, it's that time again! Dramatic news from Gondor reaches us today!
 And now for the continuing adventures of The Phantom and Alien...  Episode 005 Episode 004 Episode 003 Episode 002 Episode 001
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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08-10-2008, 07:25 PM
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#1077 |
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Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,508
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LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Dear Mr. and/or Mrs. Editor: I am sorry to hear that Alatar's kettle experiment did not pan out, but it's tough to keep a lid on such things. What a crock! I am glad to hear that Scotland Yard has taken stock of the situation and has a handle on it. I wonder if they are perhaps grilling Alatar even now, putting him on the griddle, so to speak, in regards to his involvement. A few hours in the pressure cooker will lighten up Alatar, who I've heard is one tough cookie...sheet. But he's not teflon-coated -- I am sure the roasting will turn up some accessories-to-the-fact; however, such betrayal is much like the pot calling the kettle black in criminal matters. Hopefully, The Yard will not allow time for Alatar to loaf about, for this allows the perpetrator's thoughts to simmer, which causes much waffling, and takes a lot longer for the truth to percolate to the top. Personally, I am so steamed about the leftover damage that I don't give a crepe if they treat him harshly! The police, if they want to urn our respect, must be timely in their investigative wok. Oh, I am aware of the daily grind, and even I am not fondue of extra work, but this case must be settled quickly. There is no time for this matter to reach a boiling point. The community is already quite chafed, so no dicing or mincing of the facts -- get to it -- chop, chop! I am quite interested to hear what will happen next in the case, because, as you are aware, it's always out of the frying pan and into the fire with these things. Sincerely, Sir Hamilton Beach-Bundt Royal Colander Dough-Boys
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
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08-10-2008, 09:57 PM
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#1078 |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Kettles Have Been Banned??????????
That means no more tea for me... Unless I smuggle my kettle into the Downs!
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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08-11-2008, 04:57 AM
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#1079 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Dear Sir Hamilton Beach-Bundt
Are you the fellow that has been stalking our janitor? In answer to your letter, all I can say is that the government is supposedly doing all it can to have all kettles melted down. By next Thursday they plan to move on to other kitchen items. The Saucepan Man has reportedly skipped the country. As far as we know, alatar escaped from jail and is currently heading to your house with a massive bat and a knife. Keep Reading The Downer! - Dave the Janitor
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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08-11-2008, 02:29 PM
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#1080 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Where young people go to retire
Posts: 709
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Random Titles smuggle tea kettles
Kettles banned? Good riddance, my tuner said they whistled a bit sharp.
I would also like to compliment Dave the Janitor on his cleaning abilities for cleaning the burning mess of the Downer Office so well that, my newspaper showed no evidence explosion! Great work.
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"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
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Linear Mode
