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#9881 | |
Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,459
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Wrong trilogy....
Quote:
As in "Sass that hoopy frood Gollum? Now there's a guy who really knows where his towel is."?
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
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#9882 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Legolas was beginning to regret letting Gollum behind the wheel of his new sports car...
-OR- Gollum: "What have I got in my pocketsses? A bit of string, a fang...some rock - what the!? A moldy bannana peel? How long has that been in there!!??" ![]() |
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#9883 |
Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,538
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Gollum has been taking Bio classes for the nth time, yet still he doesn't know the proper way to dissect a rabbit.
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#9884 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gollum was pleased with his new false beard.
OR A Blackadder rip off: When Gollum spent five hours talking to a dead rabbit, Frodo hat to say it: Frodo: Gollum, your brain is like the five-headed haddock faced beast of Aberdeen. Gollum: In what way? Frodo: It doesn’t exist.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#9885 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Waiting for Gandalf...
![]() Sam: Let's go! Frodo: We can't. Sam: Why not? Frodo: We're waiting for Gandalf. Sam: Gah! ~ Aesthete
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Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? |
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#9886 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
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Just so no-one else need to post the obvious...
Sam: Is that who I think it is?
Frodo in a very tired voice: Yes, it's Gandalf. Uncloaking again... OR Sam: Is that what I think it is? Frodo in an almost as tired voice: Yes, it's <insert mountain/city name> on wheels... ![]() ![]() ![]()
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Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch? He who breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom ~Lurker...
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#9887 |
Mischievous Candle
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"But where our hearts truly lie is in peace and quiet and good, tilled earth. For all Hobbits share a love of things that grow."
Frodo: Look at how the grass grows. Sam: Sweet.
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Fenris Wolf
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#9888 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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Those Rangers were so well hidden that until they stood up, Frodo and Sam never realised they were lying on top of them.
Frodo: Do you hear something? Sam: Hear what? Frodo: It sounds like "mmmmphh!!"... OR It wasn't the oliphaunts themselves that surprised them, but the fact that they turned out to be only two inches tall.
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. Last edited by Meela; 03-08-2006 at 08:49 AM. |
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#9889 |
Wight
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: In crazy captions waving an angry fist at the outside world
Posts: 155
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i can't see it!!
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#9890 |
Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,312
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Sam: Five pieces of lembas say that's Gandalf uncloaking--again.
Frodo: Nu-uh. The Ring says it's Bombadil all in pink.
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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#9891 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Frodo: "Sam, you're in my bubble!"
OR Sam: "Why are we searching for a needle again?" Frodo: "I already told you: it's an old saying, if you find a haystack you have to search through it for a needle. I don't know why, but we have to do it." OR (LotR meets Alice in Wonderland) Sam: "Did you see that! That little girl just chased that rabbit into a hole and then went into the hole after it!" Frodo: "Yeah, I think it was wearing her jacket, too!"
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
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#9892 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Try this:
![]() Frodo said he'd rather watch grass grow then listen to Sam's lecture on 'taters. OR Sam: Zulus. Thousands of them! Frodo: Wait till you see the whites of their eyes. Sam: And if they keep their eyes closed? Frodo: Then we're stuck.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#9893 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Sam: "Why are we hiding again?"
Frodo: "The Lal/Saucie/Kuru Alliance of Ultra-DOOM and The League of Extraordinary Barrow-Downers are recruiting again..." ![]() |
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#9894 |
Dead Serious
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I have no idea where this came from...
Frodo and Sam hang on desperately for dear life, as they crawl through Denethor's golf course on their way to the cockpit of Minas Tirith.
Frodo: "I think he's exceeding the speed limit, Sam!"
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I prefer history, true or feigned.
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#9895 |
Corpus Cacophonous
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: A green and pleasant land
Posts: 8,390
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High above a secluded lake near Rivendell
Sam: Look, Mister Frodo, Elven maids! Frodo: Yes, Sam. Trust Uncle Bilbo to know the best spot to spy on them as they bathe. ![]() ![]()
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Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind! |
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#9896 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Frodo had actually reached Minas Morgul two weeks previously; and then he realised that he'd dropped the Ring, probably somewhere in Ithilien.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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#9897 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Frodo and Sam watch from a safe vantage spot as two Balrogs (one winged, the other non winged) battle it out!
![]() OR Sam: Big as a house. Grey as a mouse... Frodo: That's no way to talk about Gandalf. I know he's let himself go recently, but 'big as a house' is really taking it too far.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#9898 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally.
Posts: 500
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Frodo and Sam go small game hunting.
Sam: Look! Is that a Coccinella septempunctata? Frodo: Why yes it is! Septempunctata, the common European Ladybug! Would you look at the spots on that beauty? Quick Sam, fetch my rifle!
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"Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman. |
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#9899 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The Party Tree
Posts: 1,042
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Ron and Harry are dismayed that the dementors have allied with the blackriders.
Quote:
Sam: This isn't Mordor Frodo: I hate Mapquest.
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Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII |
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#9900 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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At the 5th Annual Shire Dance
Sam: "I claim that hot blonde!" Frodo: Dang it!! I was about to claim her!! |
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#9901 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Frodo: This is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 03-09-2006 at 12:49 AM. |
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#9902 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment.
Posts: 1,538
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Sam: Mr. Frodo, would you please tell me why you decided to volunteer for an elvish boot camp?
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I prepared Explosive Runes this morning. |
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#9903 |
Wight
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Green Hill Country
Posts: 196
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After offending Galadriel, Sam and Frodo get a sample of real Elven magic and are turned into giant land tortoises.
(And, unless I am missing something, Hookbill's song lyric is from "Once in a Lifetime" by The Talking Heads not Devo.)
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Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise can not see all ends. |
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#9904 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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![]() Quote:
![]() Will be changed. Anyway: When Gandalf and Denethor got into a fight, it was best to run for cover.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#9905 |
Wight
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: In crazy captions waving an angry fist at the outside world
Posts: 155
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sam: i told you we shouldn't have let gollum cook...
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#9906 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,651
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When Gollum had gas there was only one thing to do...drop as low as you could get and hope to get below it.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
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#9907 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Two onlookers witness The Saucepan Man transform into a victorious wolf...
Sam: "I knew it! I had him figured!!" Frodo: "I never would have guessed..." |
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#9908 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
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Sam: "Mr. Frodo, we've got to keep moving. We can't spend all day looking for your pet spider."
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Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX. |
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#9909 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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From the kind people at 'Family Guy'
Frodo: There Sam. A real-life Orc. Isn't he so evil you just want to go up to him and punch him! Well, maybe not him, he's quite big. But don't you want to go and punch Faramir over there? Well, maybe not, he's kind of big. But don't you want to punch his son? *Punches* Faramir: ... ... ![]() Sam: Quick Mr Frodo, a new picture! ![]() Eowyn: Now look what you've done. Keep holding it there and we'll sowe that hand back on. OR Théoden: Who let this horse use my bath? Eowyn: Gimli, please don’t' tell anyone it was me!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 03-10-2006 at 12:47 AM. |
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#9910 |
Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,538
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Gimli, you simply must tell me . . . where oh where . . . did you get that perm?
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#9911 |
Princess of Skwerlz
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles)
Posts: 7,500
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Éowyn: Gimli, do you think you could ever be attracted to a beardless woman?
*thinks: Well, I tried my charms on the Man and the Elf, to no success. And anyone's better than Wormtongue!
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...' |
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#9912 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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It turned out that the river Aragorn fell in was polluted by Isengard, and boy, did it have some serious effects on humans.
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
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#9913 |
Corpus Cacophonous
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: A green and pleasant land
Posts: 8,390
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Eowyn and her partner psyche themselves up prior to the final of the Annual Helms Deep Dwarf Tossing Championship.
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Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind! |
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#9914 |
Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Theoden: "I say! Has anyone seen Gimli and Eowyn? It's as if they've vanished into thin air."
or Theoden: "Not a single horse in this place. Pathetic..." or Theoden: "Anyone seen my green cloak?"
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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#9915 |
Byronic Brand
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The 1590s
Posts: 2,778
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Eowyn and Gimli swear an Unbreakable Vow...unaware that Voldemort is watching from behind a Rohirric helmet...
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Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso |
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#9916 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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In the background, one Rohan soldier got his helmet stuck in a horse's tale.
OR Théoden: I am your king! I demand a sandwich! OR even: Eowyn: Wow. That's how tall Hobbits are.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#9917 |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 6,003
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Eowyn: "Gimli, if you could find my missing Barrow Downs credit card I would be ever so grateful."
Credits to Hookbill for posting just now. ![]()
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
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#9918 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 2,835
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Tending to Gimli after the battle
------------------------------- Eown: "Sorry, a shieldmaiden's hands, I know their rough." Gimli: "No! Well uh...yes they are, but...but don't stop." ![]() Last edited by The Only Real Estel; 03-10-2006 at 01:21 PM. |
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#9919 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Eowyn: I don't know how to tell you this. But I'm afraid your Grandfather will never walk again.
Gimli: ... ... ... That’s my mother. Eowyn: ![]() OR Théoden: All right! No one is to go to war, until I blow this whistle! Eowyn: I thought you hid that thing!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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#9920 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,651
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Eowyn: Look into my eyes and tell me that you love me not, Gimli, Gloin's son, most noble of the dwarven race. I gave you my heart and you have given me naught but sorrow, if you can look at me and tell that you do not have love for me then I will desist. But search your heart or bearded one, for you know that you love me and that this union is destined to be the first of it's kind.
Gimli: Ummm...all I wanted was more ale.
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“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” |
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