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Old 01-27-2006, 05:17 PM   #9361
The Only Real Estel
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Pipe

The hobbits always hated it when their history teacher dipped into the Strawberry Bacardi before class.

Galadriel: "...and that is how we know the world is octangular!"
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Old 01-27-2006, 05:32 PM   #9362
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Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.
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White Tree

Galadriel: Look into the Mirror.

Frodo: What will I see?

Galadriel: Why a new picture!



Gimli: Oh I shouldn't have eaten that extra Bacon Cheeseburger.
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Old 01-27-2006, 05:46 PM   #9363
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OLD PIC

Sam: did you just double-dip the chip?

Frodo: uh yea? so what?

Sam: you don't double-dip the Chip!!!


Gimli: boy am i ready for a sleep, i'll use this nice blanket

Legolas: is that Frodos Elven Cloak!?

Gimli: uh maybe... don't worry frodo will be fine *takes off armour*

Legolas: Is that Sting! and the Mythril Mail!

Gimli: oh... i know where this is going... well now that we know it saves us the journey, come i'll buy you a pint
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Old 01-27-2006, 05:50 PM   #9364
arcticstorm
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uh oh where did Legolas and Aragorn go. I must have taken a wrong turn at tht rock back there.
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Old 01-27-2006, 06:27 PM   #9365
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Gimli stares in disbelief after Pippin jumps down a well.
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Old 01-27-2006, 06:38 PM   #9366
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Gimli: Ok, Gandalf, you're uncloaking, no matter how fun for you it is and how horrid yet we can't look away, is really starting to scare people. I'll lend you my psychiatrist after he gets back from vacation. Strange, he's been gone three months? (that's part of an inside joke)
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Old 01-27-2006, 11:47 PM   #9367
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Kitanna is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kitanna is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Shield

It was a wake-up call for Gimli, as he lagged further and further behind, that is was time to go to Weight Watchers.
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Old 01-28-2006, 12:04 AM   #9368
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1420! The Very Secret Secret of Gimli 'son' of Glóin:

Wowowowowow! Legolas likes me! He really does!
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Old 01-28-2006, 12:18 AM   #9369
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Lhunardawen has been trapped in the Barrow!
Silmaril

Gimli despairs for a Dwarf woman.
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Old 01-28-2006, 01:21 AM   #9370
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Farael has just left Hobbiton.
Gimli: If those Filipino siblings don't tell me what daga means I will. I swear, I will!!!.....

Legolas: Will What?

Gimli gives him that odd look.

Edit: I just googled "Daga".... it seems it's not as bad as it could have been pretty innocent for an 'insult'
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Old 01-28-2006, 02:16 AM   #9371
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Boots

That’s the fifth pie of dog much Gimli stepped in all day.

OR

Gimli: Keep breathing...

Legolas: Why? I can go ages without breathing... watch.... *collapse*
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Old 01-28-2006, 06:43 AM   #9372
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Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Gimli remembers that he left the gas on ..... in Erebor....
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Old 01-28-2006, 06:46 AM   #9373
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Gimli is unimpressed by Legolas' rock garden. "What does a stinkin' elf know about rocks?!"
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Old 01-28-2006, 09:36 AM   #9374
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Meela has just left Hobbiton.
White Tree

Gimli leans back on a soft blonde rock for a rest.

Gimli: ... blonde rock?

Legolas: *from beneath Gimli* Mmmmph! Mmmmmmppphh!!
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age?
2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.
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Old 01-28-2006, 09:47 AM   #9375
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Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Boots

Gimli suddenly realized that if the "Uruks had turned northeast" that everybody was just about to fall in the river.
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Old 01-28-2006, 11:49 AM   #9376
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Valesse has just left Hobbiton.
Gimli accidently creates an unseemly (or unseamly) rip in the back of his armor.

OR

Much to Gimli's masculine dismay Aragorn and Legolas decide to decide to start to skip and frolic... leaving him to nancy.
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Old 01-28-2006, 03:40 PM   #9377
narfforc
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narfforc has been trapped in the Barrow!
Gimli gains the top of the rise only to see Aragorn and Legolas disappearing into the distance, and the elf shouting back down the trail, "COME ON KEEP UP STUMPY".
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Old 01-28-2006, 07:27 PM   #9378
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The bulk of the Riddermark is 200 squared miles.

Gimli is over 500 miles from home.

His path with Aragorn and Legolas is linear, so it is 1-dimensionel.

There are tens of thousands of horses that are wild or tamed in the Mark.

Gimli's footstride is 9-15" at given times.

The average horse relieves itself 5 times a day.

Gimli should go to Vagas. He beat the odds, and now have Meras feces on his left boot.

[I suppose instead of Vagas, a Kentucky Derby pun should be inserted....]
________
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Old 01-28-2006, 07:35 PM   #9379
elronds_daughter
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elronds_daughter has just left Hobbiton.
This was the look on Gimli's face when he was told that he'd been cast in The Princess Bride as the part of Fezzik.
This look was immitated by William Goldman when he was told.
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Old 01-28-2006, 07:41 PM   #9380
The Only Real Estel
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The Only Real Estel has just left Hobbiton.
Pipe

Gimli stops suddenly on the edge of a steep cliff!

Gimli: "Whew! It's a good thing Sam wasn't running behind me!!"
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Old 01-28-2006, 07:54 PM   #9381
Gurthang
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Gurthang has just left Hobbiton.
Completely stunned, Gimli looks down on a site he thought he'd never see,...

...a group of paintballers in the middle of Rohan!

OR

...Sauron having a tea party with his Black Riders!

OR

...Gandalf going to a clinic for Uncloaking Rehabilitation!

OR

...a Starbucks in the Riddermark!

OR

...an Entish footrace!
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Old 01-29-2006, 12:41 AM   #9382
Naria
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Narya

Going cross eyed, Gimli realizes that he should have worn his underpants that day-- feeling a bit chaffed.
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Old 01-29-2006, 02:25 AM   #9383
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Gimli vowed never to accept a meal prepared by Gollum.

OR

Gimli suddenly realises why no other race has beards in such abundance.

Gimli: This blasted thing is itchy!
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 01-29-2006, 02:40 AM   #9384
Lhunardawen
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Lhunardawen has been trapped in the Barrow!
Silmaril

Way to go making Nilp and me feel loved, Farael.

Anyways...

Gimli realized - too late - that there's something wrong with the way he held his axe.
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Old 01-29-2006, 05:13 AM   #9385
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1420! Uh . . .

Gimli (thinking): Here I am, chasing short wooly-footed ruffians held hostage by ugly folks who had half a day's headstart with a nancing Elf and a stinky Man! Thanks a lot, Glóin, for bringing me to existence.
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Old 01-29-2006, 07:10 AM   #9386
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Gimli: Oh my god!!! I thought all the entwives were dead!! but how come treebeard hasn't found them here?? Oh they're just trees!!!
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Old 01-29-2006, 11:01 AM   #9387
Boromir88
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Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.Boromir88 is wading through the Dead Marshes.
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White Tree

Gimli: Oooh a hapence!
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Old 01-29-2006, 12:36 PM   #9388
narfforc
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narfforc has been trapped in the Barrow!
Gimli: Well there's a thing unheard of

As he looked down on a large township in New Zealand.
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Old 01-29-2006, 12:41 PM   #9389
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elronds_daughter has just left Hobbiton.
Gimli is very confused: "Why is Aragorn washing his hair?"
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Old 01-29-2006, 01:20 PM   #9390
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Gimli: Can't... go... on... must... have... new... picture...



Worms are eating Merry.

Merry: I'm not dead yet!

OR

Pippin tries to find Merry's wallet while man-eating worms distract him.
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 01-29-2006, 01:42 PM   #9391
Oddwen
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Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
Man-eating worms?!?

Pippin: PJ! Stop! This isn't King Kong!
Merry: Arrrrghh!
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Old 01-29-2006, 02:18 PM   #9392
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Two of the contestants for "fanciest headgear" were both fighting to get to the trophy (which by the way was given to Sauron despite heavy protests)

OR

This is one of the occasions when the whole fellowship agreed that their ironical nickname for Meriadoc, Merry, suited him almost too well.

OR

Pippin was terrified when he realized that the mysterious creeping feeling he had was not only a feeling, but a mysterious creeping hand on his shoulder

OR

Merry falls asleep in the arms of Pippin, who suddenly experience the drawback of having a friend who has eaten too much garlic sleeping in his arms.
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Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch?

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Old 01-29-2006, 02:26 PM   #9393
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

For fans of Vic Reeves:

Merry: Oh I've fallen!

OR

When Merry had said, 'I’m so hungry I could eat an Oliphant' they dared him to, but he only got 90% of the way through and collapsed.
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 01-29-2006, 02:40 PM   #9394
Meela
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Meela has just left Hobbiton.
White Tree

Pippin was determined to make Merry take back the remark that Eowyn's curls were prettier than Faramir's.

OR

Pippin fights frantically to un-link his chainmail from Merry's buckles as the oliphaunt stampede turns his way.
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age?
2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.
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Old 01-29-2006, 02:41 PM   #9395
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Unknown to Pippin, the "Man" behind him was actually Sauron in disguise.

or

Pippin: Hang on Merry! You'll make it!

Merry: I'm not injured!! You know what I saw in Fangorn Forest? He's here again!

Pippin: GANDALF!!!!

or even

Merry: Oh no it's Mount Zoom!!

Pippin: And there's Minas Tirith! We're saved!

Merry: No! It's got wheels to!!

Pippin: AHHH!!!!
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Old 01-29-2006, 02:52 PM   #9396
Lalwendë
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Lalwendë is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Lalwendë is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Merry always came off worst when Pippin instigated a tickling contest.
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Old 01-29-2006, 02:53 PM   #9397
THE Ka
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Pippin couldn't believe it as he stared out in disbelief of Merry's slow approaching demise... from nothing else than the murderous intentions of a misplaced bananna peel...


~ In the News Ka
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í endaleysu tokuni?
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Old 01-29-2006, 06:28 PM   #9398
Gurthang
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Gurthang has just left Hobbiton.
Pippin's helmet is a dangerous weapon.
Pippin: "I didn't mean to poke him in the eye, honest!"

OR

Pippin: "Merry, I don't know what to do! I can't get my helmet off!"
Merry: "Oh, that's easy Pip; you just have to work up a good sneeze, then it flys right off! Watch this. AACHOO!"

OR

Merry: *cries like a baby*
Pippin gets over the shock of realizing that Merry has the mind of an infant just in time to realize that the big baby needs a diaper change!
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Old 01-29-2006, 06:36 PM   #9399
narfforc
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narfforc has been trapped in the Barrow!
Off screen: Bring out yer dead, Bring out yer dead

Merry: I'm not dead, I'm happy.

Pippin : Anyone got a spare club?
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Old 01-30-2006, 12:38 AM   #9400
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Pippin performs a quick bit of heart surgery... without anaesthetic.

OR

Pippin: Come on, we're leaving.

Merry: No! I'm on level 43! I've nearly got the high score!

Pippin: You can play games anytime. Now its time for tea!

Merry: No-ooooo!
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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