Song Parodies

[One of the Nine]

Ok, I don't have any song parodies, but I do have somethin' weird to share. Boromir's riddle (Seek for the Sword that was broken....) fits almost exactly to a song in my church's hymnal. It's really weird. My cousin and I figured it out.

[Bombadil]

Terrible Tonight

Its late in the evening,
he's wonderin' what mail to wear.
he picks out his weapon
and swings it right through the air
And then he asks me, "Do I look alright?"
And I say, "Yes, you look terrible tonight."

We go to the battle,
And everyone turns to see.
This horrible creature,
Who's riding on top of me
And then he asks me, "Is your back alright?"
And I say, "no, it feels terrible tonight."

And it's terrible
because I see the hate that's right in your eyes.
And the terror of it all is that,
You just don't realize,
How much they fear you.

It's time for goodbyes now.
It seems that I've lost my head
I watch you get stabbed twice
And hope that you aren't dead.
And then I tell you, as I pass into night.
I say, "Darling, you were terrible tonight."

sniff, everyone talks about how evil the Nazgul are- but they have feelings too!

[Nimrothiel]

This is a parody of a song that I'm sure hardly any of you know, but to any Trekkie fans out there, you are not alone.

Hobbit Trackin' to the tune of Star Trekkin' by The Firm

The Nazgul: “Hobbit Trackin’ across Middle-Earth
on our flying beasts,
under the Witch-King.
Hobbit Trackin' across Middle-Earth
Boldly going forward cause we gotta find that Ring.”

Number 5: “Seven, report.”

#7: “Theeeeeere's Rangers on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, starboard bow.
There's Rangers on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, King.”

Number 5: “Analysis, Number Six.”

#6: “It's… orcs King,
but not as we know them
not as we know them
not as we know them.
It's orcs King,
but not as we know them,
not as we know them, Primus*.”

#7: “There's Rangers on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, starboard bow.
There's Rangers on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, King.”

The Nazgul: “Hobbit Trackin' across Middle-Earth
on our flying beasts,
under the Witch-King.
Hobbit Trackin' across Middle-Earth
Boldly going forward, still can't find that Ring.”

(#6 and #9 crash into the Witch-King; #9 to #6: “Shut up, Six.”)

#9: “It's worse than that;
we’re lost, King
lost King.
It’s worse than that;
we’re lost, King,
lost King,
lost.”

Number 5: “Ring Wraith leader, the Witch-King.”

W.K.: “Ah! We’ve come to kill
hack ‘n slash,
hack ‘n slash.
We’ve come to kill,
hack ‘n slash,
hack ‘n slash, Wraiths.”

#9: “It's worse than that;
we’re lost, King
lost King.
It’s worse than that ;
we’re lost, King,
lost King,
lost.”

#6: “It's orcs King,
but not as we know them
not as we know them
not as we know them.
It's orcs King,
but not as we know them,
not as we know them, Primus.”

#7: “There's Rangers on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, starboard bow.
There's Rangers on the starboard bow,
stave them off, King!”

The Nazgul: “Hobbit Trackin' across Middle-Earth
on our flying beasts,
under the Witch-King.
Hobbit Trackin' across Middle-Earth
boldly going forward,
and things are getting worse!”

Number 5: “Entinrue**, Number Three.”

#3: “Ye cannah change the mind of Sauron,
mind of Sauron,
mind of Sauron.
Ye cannah change the mind of Sauron,
mind of Sauron, King!”

W.K.: “Ah! We’ve come to kill,
hack ‘n slash,
hack ‘n slash.
We’ve come to kill,
hack ‘n slash,
Three help me out!”

#9: “It's worse than that;
we’re lost, King
lost King.
It’s worse than that ;
we’re lost, King,
lost King,
lost!”

#6: “It's orcs King,
But not as we know them
not as we know them
not as we know them.
It's orcs King,
but not as we know them,
not as we know them, Primus.”

#7: “There's Rangers on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, starboard bow.
There's Rangers on the starboard bow,
starboard bow, King!”

#3: “Ye cannah ignore Sauron’s commands, Firsty!”

#9: “It’s simple breach of contract, King!”

W.K.: “King to Nazgul, Warp Factor Nine.”

#3: “Ach, if we push ‘em any harder they’ll collapse, King!”

*which they do; and sadly the Nazgul are destroyed in the Fires of Mount Doom*

The Nazgul: “Hobbit Trackin’ across Middle-Earth
on our flying beasts,
under the Witch-King.
Hobbit Trackin' across Middle-Earth
Boldly going forward cause we gotta find that Ring.”

*Repeat at a consistently higher pitch and fade*

*Masculine form of the Latin word for #1, or first.
**Not sure about this word, I couldn’t find a copy of the lyrics, and the only place I’ve heard this song is in a video on stonetrek.com; a clever mix of The Flintstones and Star Trek.

[Evisse the Blue]

Lostgaeriel, beautiful filk (of a beautiful song from a beautiful (!) series!

The Sword’s still sharpe

*applauds* I always can't help chuckling at this in-joke.
And thanks for the links. Do you by any chance have any links to the mp3 for this song? I know I searched and searched for it and couldn't find it anywhere, as sung in Sharpe's series.

And now if you don't mind I'll parody Over the hills and far away, Nightwish's cover version (originally sung by Gary Moore). (only one of the finest songs known to mankind ).

Over the Hills and Far Away

The wizard came back one fine spring day,
To travel he was bound,
He spoke to Frodo a strange tale,
The Dark Lord's Ring was found.

The Walkers Nine set on the Quest,
Not a season too soon
Frodo gave in and claimed the Ring
In the fires of Mount Doom.
"You stand accused of robbery",
He heard Smeagol say.
He knew, without a sign from Eru,
Tomorow's dark will mourn his failure.

Over the hills and far away,
For one long age the Dark Lord lay,
Over the mountains and the seas,
A' scheming for the Ring he'd be.

The following verses are about Aragorn and Arwen:

She knew her love would cost her dear,
And yet she had to say:
"I'll give up Elvendome for his sake,
In Middle Earth I'll stay."
She had to fight her father's will,
Her heart beat like a drum.
For even though an Elven still,
She did not wish to part from Aragorn.

Over the hills and far away,
She prays he'll save ME some day,
As sure as Anduin reaches the Sea
Back in his arms she swears she'll be.

Each night, the Ranger stands on guard,
He looks up at the stars,
He thinks about the prophecies,
One day he'll know the taste of kingship.

Over the hills and far away,
He swears he will return one day,
Between the mountains and the seas,
In Gondor's land again he'll be.
Over the hills and far away.

[Lostgaeriel]

I was feeling very silly when I 'wrote' this one.

Sung to Old MacDonald’s Farm. (E-I-E-I-O!)

Farmer Maggot’s Farm

Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.
And on that farm he had mushrooms,
B-A-M-furlong.
With a mushroom here,
And a mushroom there,’
Here a “mush”; there a “room”,
Everywhere a mushroom.
Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.

Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.
And on that farm he some pigs,
B-A-M-furlong.
With an “oink-oink” here,
And an “oink-oink” there,
Here an “oink”; there an “oink”,
Everywhere some bacon.
Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.

Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.
And on that farm he some beer,
B-A-M-furlong.
With an huge jug here,
And a huge jug there,’
Here some beer; there some beer,
Everywhere some fine beer.
Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.

Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.
And on that farm he had three dogs,
B-A-M-furlong.
With a “Grip! Fang! Wolf!”
And a “Wolf! Grip! Fang!”
Here a “Grip!”; there a “Fang!”
Everywhere a “Wolf! Wolf!”
Farmer Maggot had a farm,
B-A-M-furlong.

[Evisse the Blue]

Here's a parody after the song "I'm in love" by John the Whistler.

"No matter what they say,
I'm in love.
I dream things my own way
cause I'm in love.
I can't keep Middle Earth out of my mind,
I'd read Lord of the Rings all the time.

No matter what they say,
I don't care.
I'd read it everyday, everywhere;
Cause Tolkien made a world of his own,
They say that he's a genius,
I'm in love.

No matter what they say,
I'm just fine,
They say that I'm a geek,
I don't mind.
Cause always for the greatness of its style,
I'll read Lord of the Rings, so yeah, I'm in love."

Weak, but you get the point.

lol nice job, ppl. I know this is not my original idea, I got it from www.theonering.com, but I can REALLY c Gollum singing 2 Frodo and Sam, when they're on Mt. Doom; Smooth Criminal. lol can't u c that??? I know it's VERY vivid in MY mind.

[Oddwen]

I have quite a few parodies, however I'll just link to them.

HERE! HERE HERE!!!

This is one of my first:

Roll Over Oh Tolkien!
To the tune of "Roll over Beetoven" by the Beatles.

Well gonna watch a movie
Directed by a guy called P.J.
It's a rockin' little story
I went to watch it today
Roll over O Tolkien
I gotta see it again today

You know my temperature's risin'
And the book fan's blowin' a fuse
My hearts beatin' rhythm
And my soul keeps singing the blues
Roll over O Tolkien
And tell C.S. Lewis the news

I got permanent nausea
The bookies scream "O save us Eru!"
I think we'll mob the writers
Reading Roger Ebert's review
Roll over O Tolkien
Orli fans marchin' two by two

Well if you feel that you like it
Well get your LotR and read and love it
Read it over and move on up
To the Silm and read and love it
Read it over
Roll over O Tolkien
A walkin' in two by two , oh

Well early in the mornin'
I'm a givin' you the warnin'
Say goodbye to light elf shoes
Hey diddle diddle
Say goodbye to Nob's fiddle
So much of the story to lose
Roll over O Tolkien
And tell C.S. Lewis the news

You know she glows like a glow worm
They went a bit over the top
She got a mortal partner
Will she stay an elf or not?
Long as she's got Asfaloth
Arwen will never stop
Roll over O Tolkien
Roll over O Tolkien
Roll over O Tolkien
Roll over O Tolkien
Roll over O Tolkien
And dig these rhythm and blues

[ElenCala Isil]

This is a parody of a song that I'm sure hardly any of you know, but to any Trekkie fans out there, you are not alone.

Ooh, I know it! *feels accomplished*

Phew! That's good to know. Wow, that was a real laugh. *picks self off of floor* Can I adopt that as one of my theme songs?

EDIT: Just saw the video... am having trouble getting back on my chair.

[Nimrothiel]

Glad you liked it, and you may adopt it as one of your theme songs.
A Wraith with a Scottish accent; I kill me.

[doug*platypus]

I've thought of an ending for my book: 'and he lived happily ever after to th end of his days. A fine ending, and none the worse for having been used before.

Bilbo

What's that, Bilbo? You say it's OK to do one that's been used before? Cheers...

Picture if you will, Avril Lavigne...


One was a Dwarf, one was an Elf,

Could I make it anymore obvious?

One was real short, and one did ballet,

What more could I say?

Yeah he was a sk8r Elf, we said "see ya later Elf!"

Next you'll see Gimli tryin to surf!

He had a pretty face, but his head was up in space,

We didn't need that in Middle-Ear-u-er-th!!

One song parody not included so far is the operatic aria.

Scene: Rivendell, as the Fellowship prepare to take the Ring south.

Elrond sees them off with this rousing aria by Mozart.

(Parody of 'Non piu andrai' from 'The Marriage of Figaro')


ELROND

(addressing ARAGORN)

Sheath your sword, hit the road, go on, leave us!
Say goodbye to the Elves and Imladris.
Though I know that your hurting is grievous,
March away anyway without fear!
Though I know that your hurting is grievous,
March away anyway without fear!

(addressing LEGOLAS, GIMLI and BOROMIR)

No more rancour between your races

Put your weapons through their paces

Have your bows and axes tempered
Have your daggers for the Orcs
Have your daggers for the Orcs

(Sheath your sword... you must leave us ... sheathe your sword .. march away)

(addressing the HOBBITS)
Say goodbye to the inns in the Shire now,
No more gardens or Cider with Rosie,
All your hearts must be full of new fire now,
as the Ring makes its way to Mount Doom.
All your hearts must he full of new fire now,
as the Ring makes its way to Mount Doom.

(addressing GIMLI and LEGOLAS)
You, a Dwarf, all drunk and swearing,
hew down Uruks, prove your daring,
You, an Elf-prince, keep on firing
with your arrows, never tiring.
It's an honour—defend the West now,
but alas, no hope of rest now!
(no hope of rest now, no hope of rest now)

(addressing the HOBBITS)
‘Stead of pints at the Green Dragon,
You’ll be marching without flagging!

(addressing Company)
Gaining courage, with that training,
When it’s sunny, when it’s raining,
You’ll have many perils pressing,
Though I know you’ll brook no messing
I will give my final blessing,
Speed ye on towards Mordor !

(You must leave us.., sheath your sword.... march away)

(Addressing ARAGORN)
Act the King, play the role you were born for
Say goodbye to your days as a Ranger.
For the sake of the memory of Gondor,
For the future of all Middle-Earth !
For the sake of the memory of Gondor,
For the future of all Middle-Earth !

Elessar, go on to glory,
as the monarch of Gondor !
as the monarch of Gondor !

[narfforc]

Istari, Istari Knight
Is that wizard Blue or Grey
With him will you go away,
and help the Dwarves to dig for more than coal.

Hobbits write your wills,
In case you meet the thing which kills
That flys on air and rides on hills,
And calls upon you from a withered land.

I dont understand
What it is you want from me
How we suffer this insanity
Just to keep those drunk elves free
They could not abstain, they did not how,
But perhaps they are sober now.

Istari, Istari Knight
Balrogs flaming mane ablaze
With wings that are but smoky haze
Flying from the Bridge it could not do...............................................

Unfinished Tale

[The Elf-warrior]

A parody of "My favorite things" from The Sound of Music sung by Sauron.

Erupting volcanoes, Siamese kittens
Bright mithril armor and black leather mittens
Torturing prisoners tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things.

Black colored ponys and crab apple streudels
Forges and blacksmiths and manflesh with noodles
Fell beasts that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things.

Elves in white dresses burnt down to ashes
Orc whips that flay off the nose and eyelashes
Pâté de foie gras and buffalo wings
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the wargs bite
When my eye stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad.

[Elmo]

I was going to do a parody of the Scottish song 'Loch Lomond' after the reading the conversation between Andreth and Finrod but I thought it was too sad and anyway I don't think I'd do justice to both the tale and the song. This is the part of the conversation that remind me of the song especially.

'Andreth adaneth, the life and love of the Eldar dwells much in memory; and we (if not ye) would rather have a memory that is fair but unfinished than one that goes on to a grievous end. Now he will ever remember thee in the sun of morning, and that last evening by the water of Aeluin in which he saw thy face mirrored with a star caught in thy hair - ever, until the North-wind brings the night of his flame. Yea, and after that, sitting in the House of Mandos in the Halls of Awaiting until the end of Arda.'

The song is actually about two lovers who will be separated forever because the man will be executed the next day for being a jacobite.

By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie braes,
Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond
Where me and my true love were ever wont to gae,
On the bonnie, bonnie banks o’ Loch Lomond.
Chorus

O ye’ll tak’ the high road and I’ll tak’ the low road,
And I’ll be in Scotland afore ye.
But me and my true love will never meet again,
On the bonnie, bonnie banks o’ Loch Lomond.

‘Twas there that we parted in yon shady glen,
On the steep, steep side o’ Ben Lomond.
Where in deep purple hue, the hieland hills we view,
And the moon comin’ out in the gloamin’.

The wee birdies sing and the wild flowers spring,
And in sunshine the waters are sleeping:
But the broken heart, it kens nae second spring again,
Tho’ the waefu’ may cease from their greeting.

Here's a beautiful version of the song if anyone wants to hear it...
'Loch Lomond'

Sorry if this is too depressing for this thread...

[LePetitChoux]

Sauron singing to/about the Ring

I Want You To Come This Way

Cause you are, my fire,
My one, desire,
Believe, when I say,
I want you to come this way.

But you, are in HIS hold,
Can't quite reach your gold,
When HE says,
I want to go that way

Tell me why,
Ain't nothin' but an eyeache,
Tell me why,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
Tell me why,
I never wanna hear you say,
I want to go that way

Am I, your fire,
Your one, desire,
Yes I know, it's too late,
But I want you to come this way

Tell me why,
Ain't nothin' but an eyeache,
Tell me why,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
Tell me why,
I never wanna hear you say,
I want to go that way

Now I can see that we're falling apart,
From the way that it used to be, Yeah,
No matter the distance,
I want you to know,
That deep down inside of me...

You are, my fire,
The one, desire,
You are
You are,
You are,
You are...

Don't wanna hear you say,
Ain't nothin' but an eyeache,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
(Don't wanna hear you say),
I never wanna hear you say,
I want to go that way

Tell me why,
Ain't nothin' but an eyeache,
Tell me why,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
Tell me why,
I never wanna hear you say,
(Don't wanna hear you say),
I want to go that way

Tell me why...
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
Tell me why,
I never want you to hear me say,
(Wanna know you heard it),
I want you to come this way
I want you to come this way


We Wantss It That Way (Gollum's version)

We're yours, completely,
We feel so deeply,
Your our first thought everyday,
And we want it that way

Our life is for you,
And we, adore you,
we love you more, everyday,
And we wantss it that way

Your trickses,
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
No more lies,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
That is why,
We love it when we hear us say,
We wantss it that way

Our heart, is on fire,
Such a strong, desire,
Yes we know, it's too late,
But we wantss it that way

No tricksess,
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
No more lies,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
That is why,
We love it when we hear us say,
We wantss it that way

We gave you our heart,
Preciouss right from the start,
And you went and tricksed usss, yeah
No matter the distance,
We want you to know,
That deep down inside of usss...

You are, our fire,
The one, desire,
You are,
You are,
You are,
You are...

Don't wanna hear you say,
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
We wantss to hear us say,
We love it when we hear us say,
We wantss it that way

Your trickses,
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
No more lies,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
That is why,
We love it when we hear uss say,
(We wanna hear uss say)
We wantss it that way

Your trickesss,
Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,
That is why,
We love it when we hear uss say,
(Love it when we say)
We wantss it that way
Precious, we wantss it that way

That wasn't great, but hey.

[Thulorongil]

I see many songs from musicals coming. 'Don't have much talent in writing them, but you could have :

How do you solve a problem like the One Ring? (Maria, from the Sound of Music)

I also see Saruman standing on top of Orthanc singing "the Hills are Alive (with the sounds of music)"

Or the hobbits singing, snubbing Bilbo for going on an adventure to the tune of "Oliver" from Oliver

How about Arwen or Eowyn singing "Bring Him Home" from Les Miserables about Aragorn?

[LePetitChoux]

Blood drops on weapons and sharp fangs on orcses
Black dirty spears and warm fresh new corpses
Ultimate power and twenty cool rings
These are a few of my favorite things!

Seven Palantìrs and corrupted Wizards
Free extra armies and terrible blizzards
Nazgûl that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things!

Orcs in black armour with red eyes on shields
Far seeing eye and blood coveed fields
World domination with the help of One Ring
These are a few of my favorite things!

When the Elves bite, and I lose rings
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember
my favorite things
and then I don't feel so bad!

[repeat]
[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[LePetitChoux]

Retreat, Retreat I couldn't retreat tonight
My armies are too light to try to pull them back
Stop, Stop I couldn't stop tonight
Not for all the rings in the sack (?!)

I could have slayed all night
I could have slayed all night
And still have begged for more
My Nazgûl spread their wings
And did a thousand things
They'd never done before

I'll never know
What made it so exciting
Why all at once,
My eye took flight

I only know when He
Began to fight with me
I could have slayed slayed slayed!
All night.

It's after three now

Don't you agree now
I really ought retreat

I could have slayed all night
I could have slayed all night
And still have begged for more
My Nazgûl spread their wings
And did a thousand things
They'd never done before

I'll never know
What made it so exciting.
Why all at once my eye took flight.

I only know when He
Began to fight with me.
I could have slayed slayed slayed all night!

I understand, dear.
It's all been grand, dear.
But now it's time to retreat.

I could have slayed all night
I could have slayed all night
And still have begged for more
My Nazgûl spread their wings
And did a thousand things
They'd never done before

I'll never know
What made it so exciting.
Why all at once my eye took flight.

I only know when He
Began to fight with me.
I could have slayed slayed slayed all night!
And still have begged for more.
My Nazgûl spread their wings,
And did a thousand things
They'd never done before.

I'll never know
What made it so exciting.
Why all at once my eye took flight.

I only know when He
Began to fight with me.
I could have slayed slayed slayed!
All night

[ January 21, 2003: Message edited by: LePetitChoux ]

[LePetitChoux]

Why does no-one ever anwer this thread but me? [img]smilies/confused.gif[/img]

[Nuranar]

More! More! More!

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

LePetitChoux, I love your lyrics! Part of that's because I know the original songs. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] I'd post some myself...if I could think of them. I'll try, but please don't stop! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[gralin musicteeth]

I'm really sorry about this guys, but I was reading The History of Middle-earth and I came across the part where Frodo is called Bingo and I just had to parody a song!

There was a Hobbit who had a ring and Bingo was his Namo! (bad pun [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] )
B-I-N-G-O!
B-I-N-G-O!
B-I-N-G-O and Bingo was his Namo!


ok that's enough outta me.

[ February 17, 2003: Message edited by: gralin musicteeth ]

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

Okay, I just thought of this one while I was watching Sailor Moon. Hey, I'm sick and there's nothing on! *shifty eyes*

Sing this to the tune of the Sailor Moon theme song:

Fighting evil by moonlight
Acting kingly by daylight
Never running from an Uruk-hai!
He is the one named Elessar!

He will never turn his back on his friends,
He is always there to defend
He is the one on whom Frodo depends!
He is the one named Elessar!

{musical interlude...la la la la}

Fighting evil by moonlight
Acting kingly by daylight
Never running from an Uruk-hai!
He is the one named Elessar!

His friends are Legolas!
And Gimli the Dwarf!
And Gandalf the White!
And the Rohirrim!

Seeking his kingship of Gondor!
He is the one named Elessar!
He is the one named Elessar!
He is the one--Elessar!

I had a bit of trouble with the second-last section...yes i am extremely bored. How can you tell?

The Gold Hall of Edoras
(as sung by Gríma)

On the dark road from Orthanc, leechcraft on my mind
Wouldn't have to betray them if they weren't so unkind
Up ahead on the high hill, I saw the shimmering Hall
My thoughts grow wicked and my cold sore hurts. One day I'll show them all!
There she stood on the front steps -- I heard the horses neigh
And I was thinking to myself "I've got to find out how to win her someday."
Then she turned and looked at me, stormy eyes were so cold
The Rohirrim rode up to the gate on their steeds so bold

Welcome to the Gold Hall of Edoras
Such a desperate place, such a lonely face
Plenty intrigue at the Gold Hall of Edoras
Any time of year we're devoid of cheer

Theoden's mind I have twisted so to my cunning he'll bend
I tell him that the wizard Saruman has ever been Rohan's friend
How my lady despairs now, locked in her cage
Some days she's the king's nurse, some days she's his page
Soon I'll call her aside, say, "Please listen, my dear:
Your spirit would be happier if you came with me from here"
And still that Eomer thinks he can have his say
So I thought up a few lies to tell and had him dragged away

Welcome to the Gold Hall of Edoras
Such a desperate place, such a lonely face
I'm laying my plots in the Gold Hall of Edoras
Won't they be surprised to meet my allies!

Whispers in the king's ear, poison in his cup
And he said, "I'm so old and tired I might as well just give up"
And all across the Marches they are chasing orcish bands
They fight them with their steely swords but they just can't stop the Hand

Last thing I remember I saw Gandalf at the door
I tried to slip right out of there but they threw me to the floor
"Relax," said Theoden, "I will give you horse and tack.
You can set out anywhere you like but you must not come back!"

(I'm working on some other Eagles parodies currently, but I have a bunch of Queen parodies referencing FotR at http://fergo.eshire.net/queen.htm)

[ February 20, 2003: Message edited by: Fergo Baggins ]

[Pennthangeil]

Seventy six cave trolls led the big parade,
With a hundred & ten Uruk-Hai close at hand.
They were followed by rows and rows,
Of the finest orcs in hose(?),
The cream of Sauruman's hand.
Seventy six cave trolls feared morning sun,
With a hundred & ten Uruk-Hai right behind.
There were over a thousand breeds,
Srpinging up like weeds,
There were orcs of every shape & size.

Thats as far as I can go. Help me out

[TealDude3]

Here is a song that is sung by the Army of the Last Alliance marching to Mordor. I'm wrote it for my fanfic/parody, so please don't take it.

Queen's "We Will Rock You"

Sauron you're a maia make a big noise
Playin' in the fields gonna be a Dark Lord some day
You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your orcs all over the place
Singin’

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you

Sauron you're a dark maia hard maia
Shouting in the fields gonna take on the world some day
You got blood on yo' face
You big disgrace
Wavin' your banner all over the place

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you

Sauron you're an old maia poor maia
Fightin' with your eye gonna make you some uproar some day
You got mud on your face
Big disgrace
Somebody betta put you back into your place

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you
*********************************************

This one is fairly simple. The theme to South Park.

I'm goin' down to Hobbiton,
Gonna have myself a time.

Friendly hobbits everywhere,
Humble folks without temtation.

I'm goin' down to Hobbiton,
gonna leave my woes behind.

Lots of pipeweed day or night,
Hobbits shouting, "Howdy neighbor!"

Headin' on out to Hobbiton,
Gonna' see if I can't unwiend.

Mumble mumble mumble mumble,
Mumble mumble mumble mumble.

So come on down to Hobbiton,
And meet some friends of mine.

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[ February 22, 2003: Message edited by: TealDude3 ]

[Meela]

anyone know How Can You Mend A Broken Heart by the Bee Gees? it suddenly occurred to me today to change it to How Can You Mend A Broken Sword, sung by Aragorn.

[Horse-Maiden of the Shire]

This is She Hates Me, by Puddle of Mudd....don't worry lads, there'll be none o' those eff words!

By Frodo to Boromir

Met a Man, thought he was grand
Talked to him, found out first hand
Went well for a month or two
Then it all came unglued

In a mess, that I'm s'posed to fix
Never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
Then I started to realize
He was living one big lie

Boromir wants it
RING!
Boromir wants it
That golden thing
He fought too hard and now he's dead, floating in an Elf boat
Down to Rauros

He was good for half of a year
After that, he began to leer
This Ring, it is hard to bear
With Boromir, always standing the-re!

In a mess, that I'm s'posed to fix
Never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
Then I started to realize
He was living one big lie

Boromir wants it
RING!
Boromir wants it
That golden thing
He fought too hard and now he's dead, floating in an Elf boat
Down to Rauros

{musical interlude: guitar solo}

That's the story, and you see
Learned my lesson and so did he
So now it's over
And I'm glad
I was a fool
Just like he said!

Boromir wants it
RING!
Boromir wants it
That golden thing
He fought too hard and now he's dead, floating in an Elf boat
Down to Rauros

La la la la la la la la la la
That Ring!
La la la la la la la la la la
That Ring!
La la la la la la la la la la
(and now he's dead, floating in an Elf boat)
(Ring)

BOROMIR WANTS IIIIIIIIIIT!

[elven maiden Earwen]

the one that was bingo you could have used Frodo.
F-R-O-D-O
F-R-O-D-O
ECT.

[Meela]

Aragorn singing I Saved The World Today by the Eurythmics (sp?)

sorry, dont know lyrics, cant do full song

[Lostgaeriel]

Meela suggested that the Bee Gees’ “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart” be rewritten as “How Can You Mend a Broken Sword” sung by Aragorn. Here it is!

How Can You Mend a Broken Sword

I can think of younger days when living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do.
I could always see tomorrow, but I was never told about the sorrow.

And how can you heal a Morgul wound?
How can you stop Frodo from falling down?
Sauron will stop the sun from shining.
What makes Arda go round?
How can you heal this awful wound?
How can a Ranger be the King?
Please help me heal the Ringbearer and let me be the King.

I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could always see tomorrow, no one said a word about the sorrow.

And how can you mend a Broken Sword?
How can you wear Gondor’s lofty crown?
How can you stop Arwen from whining?
What makes Arda go round?
How can you mend this Broken Sword?
How can a Ranger be the King?
Please help me mend my Broken Sword and let me be the King.

[ March 02, 2003: Message edited by: Lostgaeriel ]

[Lyra Greenleaf]

how about cry me a river, by the wonderful Justin?

Justin Timberlake
Cry Me A River

Gollum: You were my own
You were my precious
But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no
So you took a chance
And fell off my hand
But I bet you didn't think that Hobbit would pick you up, no

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I guessed it myself
now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
unless I get you from the Master

You know that I love you
Why did you leave me, all alone?
Now you know that I’ll get you
For my own

Sméagol: No I refuse, master’s our friend
I’m not gonna steal
Gollum: Why won’t you learn,
now it's your turn
To kill,
kill me that Hobbit
Kill me that Hobbit
Kill me that Hobbit
Get back the precious, yea yea

I know that you say you want to go back to your master
But it wasn’t like I wasn’t good to you and you know it (don’t act like you don’t know it)
Cos I only want to have you back and keep you with me
Cos living without my precious now is gonna kill me

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I guessed it myself
now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
unless I get you from the Master

You know that I love you
Why did you leave me, all alone?
Now you know that I’ll get you
For my own

Sméagol: No I refuse, master’s our friend
I’m not gonna steal
Gollum: Why won’t you learn,
now it's your turn
To kill,
kill me that Hobbit
Kill me that Hobbit
Kill me that Hobbit
Get back the precious, yea yea

Oh (Oh) the precious is lost, we curse that Baggins
Oh (Oh) the precious is lost, we curse that Baggins
Oh (Oh) the precious is lost, we curse that Baggins
Oh (Oh) the precious is lost, we curse that Baggins

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I guessed it myself
now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
unless I get you from the Master

Kill me that Hobbit (You could just strangle him)
Kill me that Hobbit (Or you could smother him)
Kill me that Hobbit (Stab out his eyeses)
Kill me that Hobbit, yea yea

Kill me that Hobbit (You could just strangle him)
Kill me that Hobbit (Or you could smother him)
Kill me that Hobbit (Stab out his eyeses)
Kill me that Hobbit, yea yea

Kill me that Hobbit
Kill me that Hobbit (Oh)
Kill me that Hobbit (Oh)
Kill me that Hobbit (Oh)
Kill me that Hobbit…………………………etc.

[Meela]

*hugs Lostgaeriel*

ty!! that was excellent [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Lostgaeriel]

I've been working on parodies of three cowboy songs for the past few weeks. I'm still tweaking one, so here are two for now.

The Warrior’s Lament
(sung to the tune of the traditional western song The Cowboy’s Lament aka The Streets of Laredo)

As I walked out on the banks of Anduin,
As I walked near the Great River one day
I spied a young warrior arrayed in his armour,
Arrayed in his arms in a boat he did lay.

Chorus:
“Oh, beat the drum slowly and sound the horn lowly,
Sing a lament as you send me along.
Send me to the great blue Sea; there gulls will watch o’er me;
I’m a young warrior and I know I’ve done wrong.”

“I see by your outfit that you are a Ranger,”
These words he did say as I slowly drew nigh.
“Come sit down beside me and hear my sad story,
Got shot in the breast and I knew I must die.”

“Go say to my father, I loved him, my father.
I did this for him,” then the poor warrior said.
Then in an instant the vision had left me,
I stood still in mourning – my brother was dead.

Chorus:
“Oh, beat the drum slowly and sound the horn lowly,
Sing a lament as you send me along.
Send me to the great blue Sea; there gulls will watch o’er me;
I’m a young warrior and I know I’ve done wrong.”

~

At this site you can listen to free RA Preview of instrumental version of The Streets of Laredo (The Cowboy’s Lament) played by folk guitarist Jim Hendricks. Just scroll down to find it. (You can hear the Celtic roots of the melody.)

The lyrics have many variations. Here are a couple versions:
Thom Stark’s revised lyrics (& song history)

Lyrics from Teddy Blue’s Bunkhouse are similar to those I referred to. My ref. had only the first 2 verses & last verse with chorus as shown here.

----------

The Three Hunters
[Sung to the TV theme song Annie Oakley by Fred Wise and Ben Weisman, © 1958 Charles N. Daniels, copyright renewed 1986 Blen Music Publishing Co. (ASCAP)/Erica Music Publishing Co. (ASCAP)]

I can hit an orc’s eye far away or nigh,
Play, in Helm’s Deep, Uruk-counting games.
I can walk on snowdrifts; distant horses I can spy;
Legolas Greenleaf is my name.

They call me Lego Greenleaf,
Lego, Lego Greenleaf,
Prince of Northern Mirkwood,
With an ‘Ai! Noro lim!’ and a twang, twang, twang
My ridin’ and my shootin’ are real good.

I dig all the gemstones glitt’ring underground -
How the mithril glimmers in moonbeams.
So won’t you come and join me, you’ll love deep Aglarond,
And Gimli Gloin’s son is my name.

They call me Gimli Gloin’s son,
Gimli, Gimli Gloin’s son,
Dwarf above all of the rest,
I shout ‘Hey! Whoa there!’; my axe rang, rang, rang;
Horse ridin’ and tree-cuttin’ aren’t my best.

When a gang of Nazgûl stab Frodo at night,
Or Mithrandir falls with Udûn’s Flame,
I’m the one they call on to try to set things right,
And Elfstone, Strider are my names.

They call me Elfstone, Strider,
Aragorn and Estel,
King of Men of the West,
With a Sword Reforged ringin’ clang, clang, clang
My healin’ and sword fightin’ are the best.

They call me Elfstone, Strider,
Aragorn and Estel,
King of Men of the West.

~

If you would like to hear the original song, send me a Private Message. I've not found any website that has posted the song. But I have requested the theme from one of a few sites that will e-mail a file. When I get it, I can e-mail it to you or direct you to the website and you can request it yourself.

[ March 12, 2003: Message edited by: Lostgaeriel ]

As it turns out, the theme they sent me was the opening to the TV show but sans the song. The song, sung by Gail Davis, is on The Cowboy Album, a 1992 compilation by Kid Rhino (a label of Rhino Records Inc.)

[Lostgaeriel]

Now this one is based on El Paso by Marty Robbins © 1959 (renewed) Mariposa Music Inc. (BMI).

For those of you who don't know the original, all I've been able to find is a wav file of the first 2 lines sung by Marty Robbins (+ original lyrics) here.

My original plan had been to make the last verse about Frodo & Gollum at Sammath Naur. Something like:

From out of nowhere, that Gollum has found me;
Biting my hand for the gold 2Rπ ('two-ar-pi').
Throttled by two loathsome arms that I’d pitied,
One little bite and “My Precious, Good-bye.”

Although it needs some work. (Obviously.)

However, my first verse was from 'The Shadow of the Past' and without adding umpteen verses, I couldn't get Frodo any further along than to Rivendell. Maybe someone else can continue the story.

Imladris

Out in the West Mid-earth land of The Shire,
I learned that I had a magical Ring.
Nighttime would find me in Bag End’s warm study
Gandalf would smoke and Sauron’s Eye would sting.

Tempting and strong was the pow’r of My Precious;
Wicked and evil while casting its spell.
I had to destroy this ‘tri-fel-ling trinket’.
Set off for Bree then on to Rivendell.

One night, a wild young Ranger joined in,
Wild as the West Ocean wi-i-i-i-ind.
Warning and wond’ring, the crowd he was pond’ring,
Knowing my secret, the Ring that I held...

We’re in danger-er-er! He
Questioned my wisdom in using this trinket.
Down went his hand for the Sword that he wore.
His ID was proven by Gandalf’s old letter;
The wise, wary Ranger then bolted the door.

All through the long night we waited in silence,
Shocked by the foul things the Nazgûl had done.
Many thoughts raced through my mind as I sat there.
We had but one chance, and that was to run.

Out through the back door of Barli’s we ran,
Out where the ponies were ti-i-i-i-ied.
But there was not one – we looked cooked and well done.
We paid Bill Ferny for one we can’t ride...

…So we walked fast as we
Could from the North Kingdom village of Breeland,
Into the Wild lands that we did not know.

Back at the Pony, my life would be worthless.
Everything’s gone in life, nothing is left.
It seems so long since I’ve seen the green Shire;
My love is stronger than my fear of Wraiths.

I saddled up and away I did go,
Riding alone in the dar-ar-ar-ar-ark.
One recent ev’ning a Black blade did find me.
Tonight, nothing’s worse than this pain in my heart...

And at last he-ere I
Am on the hill overlooking Bruinen.
I can see white water rushing below.
My Quest is right and it pushes me onward,
Down to the Ford with the Great Ring I go.

Off to my right I see five mounted Nazgûl;
Off to my left ride another Black four.
Splashing and snorting, As-fa-loth won’t fail me;
I have to make it to Elrond’s back door.

Something is dreadfully wrong for I feel
A deep, freezing pain in my si-i-i-i-ide.
Though I am trying to stay in the saddle,
I’m getting weary, unable to ride...

But my love fo-or My
Precious is strong and I rise where I’ve fallen.
’Cause I am weary I cry, ‘Elbereth!’
I see the Ringwraiths like smoke on the water.
I feel the knife-shard go deep in my breast.

From out of nowhere, Lord Elrond has found me;
Healing my wound as I sleep on pillows,
Cradled by two loving arms that I’d die for,
One little kiss and “Sam Gamgee, Hullo!”

[ March 10, 2003: Message edited by: Lostgaeriel ]

[ March 19, 2003: Message edited by: Lostgaeriel ]

[Antien]

Some people might find this offending as it is an eminem song, but kindly(if you are one of these people) just ignore.


I can just imagine gandalf rapping

guess whos back, back again
Sauron back, tell orc men
guess whos back guess whos back...

[Pennthangeil]

This one is really messed up

Sauron ate the little hobbits
all the little hobbits of the woooorld
red and yellow, black and white
he ate them all in just one bite
Sauron ate the hobbits of the world...


*I do nt support the eating or mistreatment of hobbit or hobbit-like folk

[Vuelve]

k this one just dawned on me. lame attempt. but here i go.
to Hard Knock Life from Orphan Annie play thingie.
Fish and Gollum singing while gollum is banging the fish against the rocks at the Forbidden Pool

Fish: Its A hard knock life for me, its a hard knock life for me
Gollum: What a nice Fish-y, Thats gonna be in my bell-y
Fish: Its A hard knock life!! [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Vuelve]

to the tune of Gossip Folks by Missy Elliott

[People in background chatting]
Saruman - Yo, yo yo move out of the way
We got Sauron the Great Eye coming through
Legolas-Girl that is Sauron he lost a lot of weight.
Arwen-He is so thin that you can't see his body just that big eye.
Bilbo-I heard he has this strange obsession with rings.
Gandalf-Well I heard he only wants one.
Elrond-Hey Hey, here he comes now......

[Sauron]
When I walk up in the piece
I ain't gotta even speak
I'm a bad mamajama big eye stupid halfling you ain't gotta like me
How bout Bilbo
Need to talk what he knows
And stop talking bout the One Ring Gandalf you jus mad it ain't yours
I know theres nine of ya'll
Ya'll job jus to make me fall
Step to me get burnt like toast
the fellowship thats a real joke
tot-tal con-trol
I don't brag I mostly boast
From the Mordor to the Great Sea coast
Izzy kizzy eye see you!!

LoL sorry that one just came to mind. Eye see you lol thats lame I know. [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

[Evisse the Blue]

Half an year later, I'm reviving this thread to add my pathetic excuse of a parody to Eminem's 'lose yourself'. Well - if nobody else did it, I just had to do it. This song positively asks for a ME- style parody. Anyone else is most welcome to have a better shot at it. In the meantime here's my version:

lose yourself

(Look, if you had, one shot, one opportunity, to seize the thing you always wanted, the One Ring, would you capture it, or just let it slip?)

His palms are sweaty,
knees weak, arms are heavy
there's vomit on his elf cloak already:
Galadriel's lembas,
but on the surface he looks calm and ready,
to cast the Ring down,
but he keeps clutching it then and now.
The whole world goes so still,
He reaches for it and -
there goes his will;
he's claimed it, how everybody's trembling now,
'could be all over now, time's out, over, bleoah!

Snap back to reality, oh, there goes gravity,
oh, there goes Gollum, he kicked poor Sam Gamgee,
He’s so mad but he won’t give up that Ring
Is he? No; he won’t have it, he knows – all his slinkety ropes
They don’t matter no more
He knows that but he’s broke,
So obsessed and he knows it,
He’d better go capture the Ring and hope it won’t pass him.

Refrain:
Lose yourself to the Ring NOT,
The moment you own it,
You better quickly let it go,
You only get one shot,
Do not miss your chance to throw it
This opportunity comes once in an age,
You better, lose yourself….

Gollum’s got his Precious now, Sauron could be escaping,
The world is his for the taking
Make him king as we move toward a new world order.
Frodo’s life was boring, but Ringbearing’s close to post mortar
The Ring only grows harder, it only grows hotter,
The Eye is all over him, the Nazgul all on him
Coast to coast he’s known as the Middle Earth trotter,
Lonely roads, Eru only knows
He’s gone farther from home, and he’s missing a finger
He goes home and barely knows his own Shire
But hold your nose, ‘cause here it comes, the hot lava,
Gollum fell with the Ring and now he’s cold product.
We move on to the next age, rejoice, Sauron passed and left nada,
So the epic is told and unfolds, I supposed Frodo’s doomed now,
Cause the Cracks of Doom go: dada dum, da dum da da.

Refrain:….