Crazy Captions - Page 191 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

The Only Real Estel · 09-28-2005, 07:15 AM

The punishment for 'disloyalty': Listen to Hoobastank's The Reason once or lie on a bed of razor-sharp pieces of wood for three days. Most people choose the wood.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 09-28-2005, 09:28 AM

Faramir had held strong throughout torture in the comfy chair, but how long would he last in.....the soft bed!

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-28-2005, 09:37 AM

Denathor: Gangrene of the leg, eh? Well, the only way to amputate a leg is through the mouth.

Faramir: You're not a real doctor are you?

Denathor: How dare you! Boromir never criticized me when I castrated him.

Faramir: Yes, but he had a stomach ulcer.

The Only Real Estel · 09-28-2005, 11:46 AM

Faramir had used one too many 'on pins & needles' puns for his own good.

Bêthberry · 09-28-2005, 12:27 PM

Denethor discovers they've got the wrong witch. "This isn't Joan of Arc," he cries.

malkatoj · 09-28-2005, 02:52 PM

Denethor: This Faramir is no more! It has ceased to be!

Pippin: He's just resting his eyes!

Denethor: This is an ex-Faramir!

The Only Real Estel · 09-28-2005, 03:24 PM

Here a secret camera has caught Denethor trying to sacrifice his insurance claims adjuster.

Nilpaurion Felagund · 09-28-2005, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Denethor had always wanted to stage Sleeping Beauty. (Lhunabells)

Actually, Denethor wanted the role of Prince Charming.

Gurthang · 09-28-2005, 11:24 PM

Seeing Faramir clinging to the chandlier(sp), his body guards had the bright idea of placing a pile of sticks to break his fall. Yeah, it broke something, alright.
Guards: "Hurry! We need more sticks!"
Pippin: "Uh, guys? I think he already fell."
Guards: *ignore Pippin and continue to pile sticks*

OR

Faramir made a bad choice of where to take a nap.

OR

I believe this groups collective IQ is about 12. Right, not 120; 12. Just look at them playing hide-and-seek. They just can't seem to find Faramir anywhere.

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-29-2005, 01:13 AM

This is the only remedy know to help someone who had seen Gandalf the Grey uncloaked.

OR

Denathor: Just admit it! Balrogs DO have wings!

Faramir: Never!

arcticstorm · 09-29-2005, 06:29 AM

Denethor: "Tonight we taste man Flesh!!"

**The Saucepan Man** · 09-29-2005, 06:35 AM

Denethor: Post a new picture or Faramir's toast.

Gandalf found that being a Wizard came in handy when he was stuck for matches and in desperate need of a puff of pipeweed.

(Edit: I thought I'd leave the obvious one to someone else ...

)

Lalwendë · 09-29-2005, 06:44 AM

The Lord of the Scooters! This animated feature follows the wacky and weird adventures of Gandalf, coolest Wizard on Willow Drive, as he travels the length of the street avenging baddies and fighting primordial beasts on his special push-along-scooter, cunningly fashioned by his Dad, from old, second hand magical swords.

Anguirel · 09-29-2005, 06:52 AM

Don't tempt me Saruman...I mean Saucie...

And THE LORD came down upon the Hobbitites, and he smote them. And the people quailed.

And He said, "I am THE LORD. Admire my new pointy blue hat, or thou shalt be smitten once more..."

Lalaith · 09-29-2005, 06:52 AM

Sam: Oh no, not again. Since we came on this quest it's just been one Glam-dring after another.
Frodo: Of course, what he doesn't realise is that the pun is mightier than the sword.

Estelyn Telcontar · 09-29-2005, 06:54 AM

Little Red Hobbithood: Oh Wizard, what a big sword you have!

mormegil · 09-29-2005, 06:59 AM

PJ never did portray Gandalf's "point of death" as well as the animated version.

or

Frodo is perplexed to see large text mysteriously floating in the air above Gandalf

Frodo: My, Sauron has become very powerful indeed.

Bêthberry · 09-29-2005, 07:22 AM

The little hobbit was confused. Somehow "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long beard" just didn't seem to fit.

Holbytlass · 09-29-2005, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

I thought I'd leave the obvious one to someone else ...

)

Yes, yes, we all know that Gandalf is overcompensating something but there were no sportscars in Middle-Earth!

Gurthang · 09-29-2005, 08:28 AM

Frodo and Sam seriously hope that Gandalf doesn't do what he's known to do, especially after this sudden exponential growth.

OR

Frodo and Sam watch in horror as a giant The Lord of the Rings drops out of the sky straight for Gandalf!

OR

Gandalf turned his body into a tornado.

OR

Gandalf(refering to last picture): "You dolts! Even I can see Faramir; he's right there." *points*

Oddwen · 09-29-2005, 08:35 AM

Gandalf: Look over there!

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 09-29-2005, 09:48 AM

Gandalf hated children.

or

Gandalf may have been accounted the Wisest in Middle-earth, but he always fell for Frodo's static electricity finger-trick.

or

Gandalf laughs in mockery at the Gods who would bind him to the laws of physics; for he was standing on a cloud!

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-29-2005, 09:54 AM

Gandalf: Look over there if you don't want to see me uncloaked!

OR

Gandalf: LOOK! A winged Balrog! It’s impossible!

Or yet!

Gandalf: When my beard gets to the length of my Sword, It'll take on a life of its own!

The Only Real Estel · 09-29-2005, 10:04 AM

Armed with a sword and a laser pistol, Druken Gandalf was a sight to behold.

**The Saucepan Man** · 09-29-2005, 10:25 AM

Moses Brandybuck: Well, we're fine with most of these Commandments, Lord Gandalf, but we draw the line at: "Thou shalt walk abroad uncloaked".

Kitanna · 09-29-2005, 10:57 AM

Hobbit children always hated visits from Uncle Gandalf.

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-29-2005, 11:13 AM

Gandalf: Who put these letters in the sky?

OR

Merry: So that’s where all our Ent draughts went!

Formendacil · 09-29-2005, 12:56 PM

And we have, at long last, photographic... er paint-o-graphic proof of Gandalf the Grey uncloaked.

(For the terribly dense among us... there is no visible clothing under that beard)

gralin musicteeth · 09-29-2005, 03:57 PM

Gandalf: E.T. phone HOME!!

(p.s. I know that sucked, but look at his finger. It's kind of like E.T....

)

mormegil · 09-29-2005, 04:08 PM

Both Sam and Frodo are shocked to see that the Wizard they are following is neither Gandalf the Grey nor Gandalf the White but one of the blue wizards recently returned from the east.

CaptainofDespair · 09-29-2005, 04:24 PM

Gandalf had become what the Hobbits always feared...much, much larger than them.

Lalwendë · 09-29-2005, 04:25 PM

Gandalf hurriedly squirted a whole bottle of Tippex into the sky as some large red letters appeared which he was afraid might alert Sauron to his presence.

OR

Gandalf: "Sam. Frodo. No need for fear. We shall descend Caradhras in no time at all by catching hold of this price tag which Legolas has left attached to his cloak and hitching a free ride."

Gil-Galad · 09-29-2005, 04:54 PM

Sam: look Mr.Frodo its one of those Ninja Wizards that Boromir was talking about

The Elf-warrior · 09-29-2005, 07:07 PM

Gandalf: "Go home, children, a storm of Mordor is coming!"

Nilpaurion Felagund · 09-29-2005, 07:24 PM

Gandalf (in deep booming voice): Now, where are those onions that Bilbo needed chopped?

Oddwen · 09-29-2005, 07:29 PM

Gandalf pulls a Disco move! Boromir is not impressed! More at 11!

The Only Real Estel · 09-29-2005, 07:38 PM

The villagers felt fairly safe with their rather large, well-armed Guardian, but, at the same time, he was just a little bit unsettling.

edit: I see I have joined the illustrious Crazy Caption 300-Post Club...

Beanamir of Gondor · 09-29-2005, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by the Saucepan Man:
I thought I'd leave the obvious one to someone else ...

Sam: So, Gandalf... I see that your Schwartz is as big as mine. But do you know how to use it?

Bêthberry · 09-30-2005, 12:30 PM

Gandalf attempts to turn a sword into ploughshares, without much luck.

malkatoj · 09-30-2005, 12:56 PM

GANDALF: None shall pass.
BALROG: What?
GANDALF: None shall pass.
BALROG: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Wizard, but I must
cross this bridge.
GANDALF: Then you shall die.
BALROG: I command you as Balrog of the Britons to stand aside!
GANDALF: I move for no man.

09-28-2005, 09:28 AM	#7602
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Faramir had held strong throughout torture in the comfy chair, but how long would he last in.....the soft bed! __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

09-28-2005, 09:37 AM	#7603
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Denathor: Gangrene of the leg, eh? Well, the only way to amputate a leg is through the mouth. Faramir: You're not a real doctor are you? Denathor: How dare you! Boromir never criticized me when I castrated him. Faramir: Yes, but he had a stomach ulcer. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

09-28-2005, 12:27 PM	#7605
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 5,984	Denethor discovers they've got the wrong witch. "This isn't Joan of Arc," he cries. __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

09-28-2005, 11:24 PM	#7609
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Seeing Faramir clinging to the chandlier(sp), his body guards had the bright idea of placing a pile of sticks to break his fall. Yeah, it broke something, alright. Guards: "Hurry! We need more sticks!" Pippin: "Uh, guys? I think he already fell." Guards: ignore Pippin and continue to pile sticks OR Faramir made a bad choice of where to take a nap. OR I believe this groups collective IQ is about 12. Right, not 120; 12. Just look at them playing hide-and-seek. They just can't seem to find Faramir anywhere. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

09-29-2005, 01:13 AM	#7610
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	There had to be at least one! This is the only remedy know to help someone who had seen Gandalf the Grey uncloaked. OR Denathor: Just admit it! Balrogs DO have wings! Faramir: Never! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

09-28-2005, 07:15 AM	#7601
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	The punishment for 'disloyalty': Listen to Hoobastank's The Reason once or lie on a bed of razor-sharp pieces of wood for three days. Most people choose the wood.

09-28-2005, 11:46 AM	#7604
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Faramir had used one too many 'on pins & needles' puns for his own good.

09-28-2005, 02:52 PM	#7606
malkatoj Wight Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: A hovel in Florin Posts: 173	Denethor: This Faramir is no more! It has ceased to be! Pippin: He's just resting his eyes! Denethor: This is an ex-Faramir!

09-28-2005, 03:24 PM	#7607
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Here a secret camera has caught Denethor trying to sacrifice his insurance claims adjuster.

09-29-2005, 06:29 AM	#7611
arcticstorm Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Johnson Bible College: Knoxville, TN Posts: 464	Denethor: "Tonight we taste man Flesh!!"

09-29-2005, 06:35 AM	#7612
The Saucepan Man Corpus Cacophonous Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A green and pleasant land Posts: 8,390	Denethor: Post a new picture or Faramir's toast. Gandalf found that being a Wizard came in handy when he was stuck for matches and in desperate need of a puff of pipeweed. (Edit: I thought I'd leave the obvious one to someone else ... ) __________________ Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind! Last edited by The Saucepan Man; 09-29-2005 at 06:40 AM.

09-29-2005, 06:44 AM	#7613
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	The Lord of the Scooters! This animated feature follows the wacky and weird adventures of Gandalf, coolest Wizard on Willow Drive, as he travels the length of the street avenging baddies and fighting primordial beasts on his special push-along-scooter, cunningly fashioned by his Dad, from old, second hand magical swords. __________________ Gordon's alive!

09-29-2005, 06:52 AM	#7614
Anguirel Byronic Brand Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The 1590s Posts: 2,778	Don't tempt me Saruman...I mean Saucie... And THE LORD came down upon the Hobbitites, and he smote them. And the people quailed. And He said, "I am THE LORD. Admire my new pointy blue hat, or thou shalt be smitten once more..." __________________ Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso

09-29-2005, 06:52 AM	#7615
Lalaith Blithe Spirit Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 2,779	Sam: Oh no, not again. Since we came on this quest it's just been one Glam-dring after another. Frodo: Of course, what he doesn't realise is that the pun is mightier than the sword. __________________ Out went the candle, and we were left darkling

09-29-2005, 06:54 AM	#7616
Estelyn Telcontar Princess of Skwerlz Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles) Posts: 7,499	Little Red Hobbithood: Oh Wizard, what a big sword you have! __________________ 'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'

09-29-2005, 06:59 AM	#7617
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,637	PJ never did portray Gandalf's "point of death" as well as the animated version. or Frodo is perplexed to see large text mysteriously floating in the air above Gandalf Frodo: My, Sauron has become very powerful indeed. __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

09-29-2005, 07:22 AM	#7618
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 5,984	The little hobbit was confused. Somehow "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long beard" just didn't seem to fit. __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

09-29-2005, 08:28 AM	#7620
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Frodo and Sam seriously hope that Gandalf doesn't do what he's known to do, especially after this sudden exponential growth. OR Frodo and Sam watch in horror as a giant The Lord of the Rings drops out of the sky straight for Gandalf! OR Gandalf turned his body into a tornado. OR Gandalf(refering to last picture): "You dolts! Even I can see Faramir; he's right there." points __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

09-29-2005, 08:35 AM	#7621
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,126	Gandalf: Look over there! __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

09-29-2005, 09:48 AM	#7622
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	'The Obvious One'? You guys are terrible... Gandalf hated children. or Gandalf may have been accounted the Wisest in Middle-earth, but he always fell for Frodo's static electricity finger-trick. or Gandalf laughs in mockery at the Gods who would bind him to the laws of physics; for he was standing on a cloud! __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

09-29-2005, 09:54 AM	#7623
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Gandalf: Look over there if you don't want to see me uncloaked! OR Gandalf: LOOK! A winged Balrog! It’s impossible! Or yet! Gandalf: When my beard gets to the length of my Sword, It'll take on a life of its own! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

09-29-2005, 10:04 AM	#7624
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Armed with a sword and a laser pistol, Druken Gandalf was a sight to behold.

09-29-2005, 10:25 AM	#7625
The Saucepan Man Corpus Cacophonous Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A green and pleasant land Posts: 8,390	Moses Brandybuck: Well, we're fine with most of these Commandments, Lord Gandalf, but we draw the line at: "Thou shalt walk abroad uncloaked". __________________ Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!

09-29-2005, 10:57 AM	#7626
Kitanna Child of the West Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn Posts: 2,132	Hobbit children always hated visits from Uncle Gandalf. __________________ "Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain

09-29-2005, 11:13 AM	#7627
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Gandalf: Who put these letters in the sky? OR Merry: So that’s where all our Ent draughts went! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

09-29-2005, 12:56 PM	#7628
Formendacil Dead Serious Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Perched on Thangorodrim's towers. Posts: 3,311	And we have, at long last, photographic... er paint-o-graphic proof of Gandalf the Grey uncloaked. (For the terribly dense among us... there is no visible clothing under that beard) __________________ I prefer history, true or feigned.

09-29-2005, 03:57 PM	#7629
gralin musicteeth Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Tossing half-sick between grotesque reality and savage, frightening dreams Posts: 360	Gandalf: E.T. phone HOME!! (p.s. I know that sucked, but look at his finger. It's kind of like E.T.... ) __________________ Where was the stooped and mealy-coloured old man I used to call Poppa when the merry-go-round broke down?

09-29-2005, 04:08 PM	#7630
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,637	Both Sam and Frodo are shocked to see that the Wizard they are following is neither Gandalf the Grey nor Gandalf the White but one of the blue wizards recently returned from the east. __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

09-29-2005, 04:24 PM	#7631
CaptainofDespair Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 413	*Gandalf had become what the Hobbits always feared...much, much larger than them.*

09-29-2005, 04:25 PM	#7632
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Gandalf hurriedly squirted a whole bottle of Tippex into the sky as some large red letters appeared which he was afraid might alert Sauron to his presence. OR Gandalf: "Sam. Frodo. No need for fear. We shall descend Caradhras in no time at all by catching hold of this price tag which Legolas has left attached to his cloak and hitching a free ride." __________________ Gordon's alive!

09-29-2005, 04:54 PM	#7633
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,733	Sam: look Mr.Frodo its one of those Ninja Wizards that Boromir was talking about __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

09-29-2005, 07:07 PM	#7634
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Gandalf: "Go home, children, a storm of Mordor is coming!" __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

09-29-2005, 07:24 PM	#7635
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	Gandalf the Kitchen Help! Gandalf (in deep booming voice): Now, where are those onions that Bilbo needed chopped? __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

09-29-2005, 07:29 PM	#7636
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,126	Gandalf pulls a Disco move! Boromir is not impressed! More at 11! __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

09-29-2005, 07:38 PM	#7637
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	The villagers felt fairly safe with their rather large, well-armed Guardian, but, at the same time, he was just a little bit unsettling. edit: I see I have joined the illustrious Crazy Caption 300-Post Club... Last edited by The Only Real Estel; 09-30-2005 at 10:01 AM.