Who Would Win?

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Choose a kind of contest and two characters from Middle-Earth to compete in it, and then explain who you think would win and why.

For example:

In a footrace between Frodo and Legolas, I think Frodo would win because he would never give up and keep going and going, despite the fact he had no hope of overcoming the swifter Elf, while Legolas would get distracted by the sight of seabirds, or run away at the first sight of a Balrog, or whitter away a century or so drifting through Fangorn listening to the trees.

In a belching contest between the Balrog and Smaug the Balrog would easily beat Smaug because it doesn't waste any breath on talking before doing something; Smaug would use up a lot of good gas trying to trash talk the Balrog.

In a flying contest between the Balrog and Smaug the Balrog would also win because the Balrog has wings and they are much bigger than a dragon's.

In a potato growing contest between Sam and Yavanna Sam would win because he would be salivating at the thought of nice crispy chips while Yavanna would be more interested in making a potato without eyes or something.

In a beauty contest between Galadriel and Arwen Galadriel would win because nobody would remember that Arwen was even there (unless they'd seen the movie version, in which case Arwen would win because she'd inexplicably whip out a sword and threaten the audience).

In a long distance spitting contest between Sauron and Gandalf, Sauron would win because Gandalf would have the good sense to let him.

And finally. . .

In a hard body contest between Aragorn and Legolas, Aragorn would win because Elves are sissies!

(Apologies if this has been done before -- I swear that I looked and looked but I could not find anything like this. If it has been done before then *&!@*%^&$#!!! )