Beren and Lúthien - Changes needed

[Elvellon]

Originally Posted by Aiwendil

I don't see where Tolkien used "by thou", which would be quite a surprising error from him.

Not "by thou." I'm referring to "neither thou nor any son of Fëanor" in §194 of the Grey Annals.

If the rhyme using "reek" is strongly preferred to "triple peak", we might make it a little clearer

I like that.

It's four feet, yes, but three of those feet are dactyls instead of iambs or trochees. Scanning through Tolkien's verse in this lay, I can't find any lines that do that

I can think of one, line 189 of the Lay Recommenced:

• no shadow of Morgoth, and no evil thing

And he did use 10 syllables every so often (not an exhaustive list):

• and secretly, alone, would peril dare,
• of many a bird, the pattering fall
• great powers, and towers, and strong walls shake;
• in the land of the Valar long ago;
• in dream and wandering.’ Whispering low
• The wolves whimpering and yammering fled
• thou shalt learn the power of Elfinesse!’
• in the dark corridors. ‘A guileful oath
• Then clear in the silence the cold words rang