Narn I Chîn Húrin 1: Túrins Fostering

[gondowe]

Hello. In my version I inserted the Mim's Lament just near the end of the previous chapted. I considered the text as a sort of poetic memory and at the end of the paragraph that Túrin was friendly with him.
I think in your version is this:

Yet, and strange it seemed to them, with Túrin it went otherwise; and he became ever more friendly with the old Dwarf, and listened more and more to his counsels. In the winter that followed he would sit for long hours with Mîm, listening to his lore and the tales of his life; NA-TI-11 <Sil77 {For}for Mîm came of Dwarves that were banished in ancient days from the great Dwarf-cities of the east, and long before the return of Morgoth they wandered westward into Beleriand; but they became diminished in stature and in smith-craft, and they took to lives of stealth, walking with bowed shoulders and furtive steps. Before the Dwarves of Nogrod and Belegost came west over the mountains the Elves of Beleriand knew not what these others were, and they hunted them, and slew them; but afterwards they let them alone, and they were called Noegyth Nibin, the Petty-Dwarves, in the Sindarin tongue. They loved none but themselves, and if they feared and hated the Orcs, they hated the Eldar no less, and the Exiles most of all; for the Noldor, they said, had stolen their lands and their homes. Long ere King Finrod Felagund came over the Sea, the caves of Nargothrond were discovered by them, and by them its delving was begun; and beneath the crown of Amon Rûdh, the Bald Hill, the slow hands of the Petty-Dwarves had bored and deepened the caves through the long years that they dwelt there, untroubled by the Grey-elves of the woods. But now at last they had dwindled and died out of Middle-earth, all save Mîm and his two sons; and Mîm was old even in the reckoning of Dwarves, old and forgotten. And in his halls the smithies were idle, and the axes rusted, and their name was remembered only in ancient tales of Doriath and Nargothrond.> {nor did} Túrin did not rebuke him if he spoke ill of the Eldar. Mîm seemed well pleased, and showed much favour to Túrin in return; him only would he admit to his smithy at times, and there they would talk softly together. NA-EX-28.5<Narn, Note 19 /Thus Túrin did learn /that there {were}[had been] ingots of gold disguised as roots/ in Mîm’s sack when they had captured him/, and {refers to}/ that/ Mîm {seeking}/had at that day sought/ {"}for old treasures of a dwarf-house near the 'flat stones'{"}.> Less pleased were the Men; and Andróg looked on with a jealous eye.>.

Greetings

[Findegil]

I think, part of the issue to place Mîms Klage, is that we are unsure of which events it reffers to. If the spitting into the sand is unconnected to the chocking smoke and near vomitting of the line before, then your placement is not that bad. But I would consider putting it in even earlier, so that the freindship with Túrin becomes the result of Mîm's statment in the end, that it is not good that he has such bad relationship to his 'neighnous'.

Respectfully
Findegil

[Elvellon]

Was this part I bolded from §15 of QS left out on purpose? Seems like a good bit, unless it contradicts something else that was changed that I haven't seen yet.

{From that day the hearts of the Elves were estranged from Men, save only from those of the Three Houses, the peoples of Hador, and Bëor, and Haleth}; for the sons of Bór, {Boromir}[Borlach], {Borlas}[Borlad], and {Borthandos}[Borthand], who alone among the Easterlings proved true at need, all perished in that battle, and they left no heirs.

[Findegil]

It was left out not by any contradiction, but rather becaus we used The Grey Annalas as main source for our text, which includes this two passages (so far apart):

... They reaped not the reward that Morgoth promised them, for Maglor slew Uldor the Accursed, the leader in treason, and Bor and his sons slew Ulfast and Ulwarth ere they themselves were slain. ...
...
NA-TI-04.8 <GA; §241 Great indeed now was the triumph of Morgoth; and his design was accomplished in a manner after his own heart; for Men took the lives of Men, and betrayed the Eldar, and fear and hatred were aroused among those that should have been united against him. From that day indeed began the estrangement of Elves from Men, save only from those of the Three Houses of Bëor, Hador, and Haleth, and their children.
The March of {Maidros}[Maedros] was no more. ...

The only additional information from QS is that Bor's children left no heirs. But it is an information I think we should include. So I would place it thus, even so that is a bit of repetition (which I think is okay in recapitulation of the outcome of the battle):

NA-TI-04.8 <GA; §241 Great indeed now was the triumph of Morgoth; and his design was accomplished in a manner after his own heart; for Men took the lives of Men, and betrayed the Eldar, and fear and hatred were aroused among those that should have been united against him. From that day indeed began the estrangement of Elves from Men, save only from those of the Three Houses of Bëor, Hador, and Haleth, and their children{.}NA-EX-22.4<QS{From that day the hearts of the Elves were estranged from Men, save only from those of the Three Houses, the peoples of Hador, and Bëor, and Haleth}; for the sons of Bór, {Boromir}[Borlach], {Borlas}[Borlad], and {Borthandos}[Borthand], who alone among the Easterlings proved true at need, all perished in that battle, and they left no heirs.>
The March of {Maidros}[Maedros] was no more. ...

Respectfully
Findegil

[Elvellon]

Originally Posted by Findegil

The only additional information from QS is that Bor's children left no heirs.

I also think "who alone among the Easterlings proved true at need" is a unique piece of information, even if it can be inferred by the action earlier described. This sentence serves as a final statement on the actions of Men in that battle, and I think it's important to include the sons of Bor explicitly in the list of those who "proved true at need."

Repetition isn't necessarily a bad thing, quite the contrary, when placed far enough apart, it reinforces what is important, not just to the reader but to the sub-creator.

[Findegil]

NA-EX-22.4: I think we are in agreement in this case.

Respectfully
Findegil

[Arvegil145]

Is there a place here for the newly published rhyming couplet of the CoH (from 1931/2)?

It goes quite in depth in regards to Hurin's final stand - here's a portion of it, since I'm unsure of posting the whole thing here (it's 171 lines long):

Thus Húrin lord of Hithlum fought.
His brother Huor pierced to heart
there fell before a venomed dart
his men were reaped like ripened wheat
and trampled under ruthless feet;
but none gave way, till alone he stood
between the desert and the wood,
and cast his broken shield away.
His thirty thanes about him lay,
his banner sewn with leaves of trees
was torn from shaft, and to his knees
he seven times was beaten low,
and seven times against the foe
he rose renewed, and clove a path
two-handed like a scyther’s swath
through thronging ranks of bending grass:
not yet could Morgoth’s servants pass.
Behind him was a narrow way
between the hills that southward lay,
and thither Turgon made retreat
to the vales of Sirion the fleet,
and saved the last of Finwë’s folk.
In the green shadows of the oak,
and up beneath the pinewoods dim,
and over mountain passes grim
he vanished from the darkened land
and passed into Beleriand,
and never after search nor tale,
nor any spy by hill or dale,
found ever echo of their feet.
Thus Húrin guarded their retreat,
and ever songs of elves him praise,
his name has sounded down the days
uncounted; for he kept his troth,
for death nor torment broke his oath
and death in the mouth of hell defied
and saved a remnant of the pride
and glory of the elves, that yet
a hope of vengeance, and a threat
lurked in the shadows unexplored,
a dream unquiet, a hanging sword.