Of the Rings of Power

[ArcusCalion]

3) For me Fin, your construction is still awkward in that it mentions Celeborn going to Lorien twice in a row for no particular reason. I think we should just keep "and fortified it against any further attempts of Sauron to cross the Anduin" as part of RP-SL-32b.

[gandalf85]

1) I didn't have a source for the footnote, I was proposing using some of the main text to create a footnote. But if the project is against creating footnotes, then just removing it as in your draft is fine.

3) I am still confused by the movements of Galadriel and Celeborn. We agree that these two sentences are occurring at the same time and referring to the same movement, right?

Celeborn went at first to Lórien and fortified it against any further attempts of Sauron to cross the Anduin.

Both Galadriel and Celeborn at that time passed through Moria with a considerable following of Noldorin exiles and dwelt for many years in Lórien.

If that's the case, it is awkward to split it up into two sentences like this. Even with the qualifier "at that time" I think it makes more sense to combine them into one sentence. However, the next sentence after this is:

When however Sauron withdrew to Mordor, and was (as reported) wholly concerned with conquests in the East, Celeborn rejoined Galadriel in Lindon.

When did Galadriel move from Lorien to Lindon? The word "rejoined" implies Galadriel moved first, but this isn't stated in the text.

[Findegil]

3) I have to apologies again. That was my bad editing. I didn’t want to change the clean text of ArcusCalions version, I wanted only to simplify the editing. I agree to join the sentences and only to keep ‘and fortified it against any further attempts of Sauron to cross the Anduin.’ But I think we should make clear that Celeborn was acting in that fortification and not Galadriel, otherwise we change a fact in the story.
Posted by gandalf85:

When did Galadriel move from Lorien to Lindon? The word "rejoined" implies Galadriel moved first, but this isn't stated in the text.

That movement of Galadriel to Lindon has become implicit in or editing process. It was more explicit in the original where she left Lorinand due to her sea longing and journeyed via Imladris to Lindon, while Celeborn after meeting her in Imladirs first fortified Lorinand before he joined her in Lindon. But with our editing we have introduced so much text in between that the motive of the sea longing will no longer be present in the mind of the reader and together with Galadriel’s backward movement into Lorinand this is, I agree, very confusing. That means we will have to make the movement more explicit. Here is my next try at editing a text that makes sense, in addition to what is discussed above I moved RP-SL-35 a bit get a better flow of the text:

… who passed through Moria after the destruction of Eregion by Sauron in the year 1697 of the Second Age. RP-SL-33b<The History of Galadriel and Celeborn; Amroth and Nimrodel {The implication of the extract just given is that after Eregion’s fall Celeborn led this migration to Lórien, while Galadriel joined Gil-galad in Lindon; but elsewhere, in writing contemporary with this, it is said explicitly that they both}Both Galadriel and Celeborn at that time {‘}passed through Moria with a considerable following of Noldorin exiles and dwelt for many years in Lórien{‘.}> RP-SL-32b{At that time Elrond went westward [sic; probably meaning simply that he did not cross Misty Mountains] and established the refuge of Imladris; Celeborn went at first to Lórien} and Celeborn fortified it against any further attempts of Sauron to cross the Anduin.> RP-SL-34<The History of Galadriel and Celeborn; Amroth and Nimrodel When however Sauron withdrew to Mordor, and was (as reported) wholly concerned with conquests in the East, Celeborn rejoined Galadriel in LindonRP-SL-34.5<editorial addition based on concluding passage of Concerning Galadriel and Celeborn , who had at last followed here sea-longing>. RP-SL-35c<HoME 12 Of Dwarves and Men; Note 65 Gil-galad's people were mainly Noldorin; though in the Second Age the Elves of Harlindon were mainly Sindarin, and the region was a fief under the rule of Celeborn.>{
}Lórien had then long years of peace and obscurity under the rule of its own king Amdír.
> RP-SL-36<The History of Galadriel and Celeborn To Lórien Celeborn and Galadriel returned...

That’s how it looks in plain text:

… who passed through Moria after the destruction of Eregion by Sauron in the year 1697 of the Second Age. Both Galadriel and Celeborn at that time passed through Moria with a considerable following of Noldorin exiles and dwelt for many years in Lórien and Celeborn fortified it against any further attempts of Sauron to cross the Anduin. When however Sauron withdrew to Mordor, and was (as reported) wholly concerned with conquests in the East, Celeborn rejoined Galadriel in Lindon, who had at last followed here sea-longing. Gil-galad's people were mainly Noldorin; though in the Second Age the Elves of Harlindon were mainly Sindarin, and the region was a fief under the rule of Celeborn. Lórien had then long years of peace and obscurity under the rule of its own king Amdír.
To Lórien Celeborn and Galadriel returned ...

Respectfully
Findegil

[ArcusCalion]

This is fine for me, except you have a typo. You have 'here' instead of 'her.'

[gandalf85]

Fin, I really like this version. I too was worried about "changing the facts" by implying both Galadriel and Celeborn fortified against Sauron since this is not explicitly stated (even though I think it's reasonable to assume Galadriel was involved, the text does not support this).

[Findegil]

Thanks for catching that typo. Yes, the flow and understandability good now. So fear that we might have again many discussion about this chapter if Aiwendil will come to read it. But that is as it is and we can only wait and see.

Respectfully
Findegil