4 Of the coming of the Elves

[Findegil]

A second go on Comments:
CE-EX-24: This headline for the sub-chapter has no source in Tolkien. If someone has more authoritative idea I would gladly take it.
CE-EX-25: At this point the source info was wrong. Actually we change back to our basis text LQ.
CE-SL-10: Ælfwine is out of our version and this does together with our inserts provoke the grammatical change from {they}the Elves.
CE-SL-11: Oromë’s help in making language is mention some were else already and the rest is deleted due to Tolkiens own change.
CE-EX-26: The pure joy of the Valar at the coming of the Elves is only hinted at in the later legendarium. I see nothing that speaks against the more direct version of LT.
CE-EX-27: In the later legendarium Oromë seems no longer in need of his mother to tell him about the children of Eru.
CE-EX-28: Angainor is still valid as the inserts from MT show. So I think we should also take up it making. At least we should take the next paragraph with the counsel taken.
CE-EX-29: The change from the direct story telling of LT to the remote comments of the essays from MT adds a nice contrast.
CE-SL-12: In the later legendarium the Valar have to deal with Utumno and Angband.
CE-EX-30: The armour taking of the Valar might be to pictorial, but I find it still fitting.
CE-EX-31, -32: Okay, Makar and Messa have no place in our version.
CE-EX-33: In the later legendarium some tasks that were Nonores were taken up by Eönwë and of course all the parts of Fionwe. Thus we might choose if Eönwë should be behind Manwë on the chariot or go before.
CE-EX-34: Nahar, Orome’s horse is white not brown.
CE-EX-35: If one of the Valar of the later legendarium would be probable to have a son then it is Tulkas, but still I think it is much safer to leave Telimektar out of our version.
CE-SL-36: Ops! A pure numbering error it should be CE-SL-13. To the point itself, as we learn from MT even in this battle Melkor was not willing to fight it out personally.
CE-EX-36: Here follow a long insert from AAm which provides the best description of the war.
CE-EX-37: This is an insert in the insert. And it takes the breaking of the gates from LT. No later account is found how the Valar broke that gate, so why not by the magic of Oromë’s horn?
CE-EX-38: These changes are based on Tolkiens plan to reduce the number of the Balrogs and by that make them more formidable. As we have based our work in FoG on the assumption 3 or maximum 7 we are obliged to take this changes as well.
CE-EX-39: Here it is high time for this addition, as it explains nicely what the Valar had archived in the war up to this point.
CE-EX-40, -14: As explained in my last post, Morgoth has to go. But the theory here bound to that name is valid and for sure worth recording.
CE-EX-42: This is the only descriptive look into the pits of Utumno we will ever get. It would be a shame to lose it.
CE-EX-43: This is dangerous territory. Has Melkor given to the Orcs and Balrogs the power of recuperation and multiplication? Not if the Orcs were at least in part Elves, Men, Maiar or even pre-existing beasts and for the Balrogs not if they are Maiar. Therefore I think it much more safe to eliminate the examples.
CE-EX-44: Again a description from LT that never changed: The gates of Utumno were blocked but the caverns were still full of evil creatures that a times would find a way out.
CE-EX-45: We later seldom get a chance to ears drop on the Valar in council.
CE-EX-46: Again Makar the War-God of Tolkien that later was removed.
CE-SL-14: Melkor is no longer bound. He has to hold his peace by himself or his plans, recorded in the MT-passages would come to light.
CE-SL-15: Again: Melkor is unchained.
CE-EX-47: Here at long last we come back to our basis text. And we have to discuss if Melkor was bound with Angainor while he was prisoner in Mandos or not. My feeling is that this was not the case. The reclusion was probably not even meant as a punishment but a help in repentance and selfabasement in order to reassemble his ‘disperesed’ inherent power.
CE-SL-16 and -18: This rearrangement is due to my additions. Probably we can delete what follows as redundant, but found it more profitable to keep at least the three ages of peace.
CE-SL-17: Again we are talking of Utumno and Angband and not one of them alone.
CE-EX-48: Here we have the next chance to listen directly to the Valar in council.
CE-EX-49: Nearly a regular change from the later abounded children of the Valar to their folk.
CE-EX-50: Ulmo is the one Valar that we knew to oppose the bringing of the Elves to Valinor. Therefore I shifted this argument of Makar to him even so that might be discussed.
CE-EX-51: Again, we know that Ulmo was in opposition to this.
CE-EX-52: Being back in our basic text we add here the info who brought the message to Cuivienen.
CE-EX-53: The second council again reported most excellently in LT. Here might be mentioned that the motive for Ulmo’s smile is changed significantly. When it was written he hope for the Elves to come soon, now he has found some hope that they might refuse the summon.
CE-SL-20: The old timeline had Melkor in prison for a long time when the Elves arrived. This was clearly changed.
CE-EX-54 to -58: AAm and LT have here the fuller accounts and are therefore the texts I have chosen.

With CE-EX-59 begin the additions from Q&E, but since it is getting late already and I think I missed at least one of these, I will stop here and come back to it later this week.

About Ainairos: Up to now I have not included him or his role as leader of the Teleri party speaking against the Noldor after the kin-slying into my draft. But now he will be one of the points checked before I post these part of my draft.

Respectfully
Findegil

[Findegil]

Before I go on with my comments on the changes I would like to introduce some more material:

CE-EX-05 <AAm §38 In the changes of the world the shapes of lands and of seas have been broken and remade; rivers have not kept their courses, neither have mountains remained steadfast; and to {Kuivienen}[Cuivienen] there is no returning. ...
§39 Long the Quendi ...
§40 At this time also, it is said, ...
{ 1085}
§41 And when the Elves had dwelt in the world five and thirty Years of the Valar (which is like unto three hundred and thirty-five of our years) it chanced that ... he heard afar off many voices singing. CE-EX-05.5{
}§42 Thus it was that the Valar found at last, as it were by chance, those whom they had so long awaited.{ And when Oromë looked upon them he was filled with wonder, as though they were things unforeseen and unimagined; and he loved the Quendi, and named them Eldar, the people of the stars. …}
§43 Yet many of the Quendi were adread at his coming. ...
§44 Thus it was that when Nahar neighed and Oromë indeed came among them, ...
§45 But of those hapless who were ensnared by Melkor little is known of a certainty. For who of the living hath descended into the pits of Utumno, or hath explored the darkness of the counsels of Melkor? Yet this is held true by the wise of Eressëa: that all those of the Quendi that came into the hands of Melkor, ere Utumno was broken, were put there in prison, and by slow arts of cruelty and wickedness were corrupted and enslaved. CE-EX-06{Thus did Melkor breed the hideous race of the Orkor in envy and mockery of the Eldar, of whom they were afterwards the bitterest foes.} CE-EX-07 <Myths Transformed, Text VIII: Orcs It does however seem best to view Melkor's corrupting power as always starting, at least, in the moral or theological level. Any creature that took him for Lord (and especially those who blasphemously called him Father or Creator) became soon corrupted in all parts of its being, the fea dragging down the hroa in its descent into {Morgoth}[Melkor]ism: hate and destruction. As for Elves being 'immortal': they in fact only had enormously long lives, and were themselves physically 'wearing out', and suffering a slow progressive weakening of their bodies.>
CE-EX-08 < Myths Transformed, Text IX The Elves from their earliest times invented and used a word or words with a base (o)rok to denote anything that caused fear and/or horror. It would originally have been applied to 'phantoms' (spirits assuming visible forms) as well as to any independently existing creatures. Its application (in all Elvish tongues) specifically to the creatures called Orks{ - so I shall spell it in The Silmarillion -} was later.> CE-EX-09 <Q&E, Appendix C, MT Text X The Orcs of the later wars, after the escape of Melkor{-Morgoth} and his return to Middle-earth, were neither spirits nor phantoms, but living creatures, capable of speech and of some crafts and organization, or at least capable of learning such things from higher creatures or from their Master. They bred and multiplied rapidly whenever left undisturbed.> For the Orkor had life and multiplied after the manner of the Children of IlúvatarCE-EX-10{; and naught that had life of its own, nor the semblance thereof, could ever Melkor make since his rebellion in the Ainulindale before the Beginning: so say the wise}. CE-EX-11 <Letter to Mrs, Munby There must have been orc-women. But in stories that seldom if ever see the Orcs except as soldiers of armies in the service of the evil lords we naturally would not learn much about their lives. Not much was known>. CE-EX-12 <Q&E, Appendix C, MT Text X It is unlikely, as a consideration of the ultimate origin of this race CE-EX-13{would }makes clearer, that the Quendi had met any Orcs of this kind, before their finding by Orome and the separation of Eldar and Avari.
But it is known that Melkor had become aware of the Quendi before the Valar began their war against him, and the joy of the Elves in Middle-earth had already been darkened by shadows of fear. Dreadful shapes had begun to haunt the borders of their dwellings, and some of their people vanished into the darkness and were heard of no more. Some of these things may have been phantoms and delusions; but some were, no doubt, shapes taken by the servants of Melkor, mocking and degrading the very forms of the Children. For Melkor had in his service great numbers of the Maiar, who had the power, as had their Master, of taking visible and tangible shape in Arda.>
CE-EX-13.2 <Q&E, Appendix C: ‘Elvish names for the Orcs’For these shapes and the terror that they inspired the element chiefly used in the ancient tongue of the Elves appears to have been *RUKU. ...In all the Eldarin tongues (and, it is said, in the Avarin also) there are many derivatives of this stem, having such ancient forms as: ruk-, rauk-, uruk-, urk(u) , runk-, rukut/s, besides the strengthened stem gruk-, and the elaborated guruk-, nguruk. [footnote: *(n)guruk is due to a combination of *(g)ruk with *NGUR 'horror', seen in S gorth, gorthob 'horror, horrible', and (reduplicated) gorgor 'extreme horror'.] Already in PQ that word must have been formed which had in CE the form *rauku or *rauko. This was applied to the larger and more terrible of the enemy shapes. But ancient were also the forms uruk, urku/o, and the adjectival urka 'horrible'. [footnote: Some other derivatives are in Quenya: rukin 'I feel fear or horror' (constructed with 'from' of the object feared); ruhta- 'terrify'; rukima 'terrible'; rauko and [i]arauko[i] < *grauk-) 'a powerful, hostile, and terrible creature', especially in the compound Valarauko 'Demon of Might', applied later to the more powerful and terrible of the Maia servants of {Morgoth}[Melkor]. In Sindarin appear, for instance, raug and graug, and the compound Balrog (equivalents of Q rauko, etc.); groga- 'feel terror'; gruitha 'terrify'; gorog (<*guruk) 'horror'.]
In Quenya we meet the noun urko, pl. urqui, deriving as the plural form shows from *urku or *uruku. In Sindarin is found the corresponding urug; but there is in frequent use the form orch, which must be derived from *urko or the adjectival *urka.
In the lore of the Blessed Realm the Q urko naturally seldom occurs, except in tales of the ancient days and the March, and then is vague in meaning, referring to anything that caused fear to the Elves, any dubious shape or shadow, or prowling creature. In Sindarin urug has a similar use. It might indeed be translated 'bogey'. But the form orch seems at once to have been applied to the Orcs, as soon as they appeared; and Orch, pl. Yrch, class-plural Orchoth remained the regular name for these creatures in Sindarin afterwards. The kinship, though not precise equivalence, of S orch to Q urko, urqui was recognized, and in Exilic Quenya urko was commonly used to translate S orch, though a form showing the influence of Sindarin, orko, pl. orkor and orqui, is also often found.
These names, derived by various routes from the Elvish tongues, from Quenya, Sindarin, Nandorin, and no doubt Avarin dialects, went far and wide, and seem to have been the source of the names for the Orcs in most of the languages of the Elder Days and the early ages of which there is any record. The form in Adunaic urku, urkhu may be direct from Quenya or Sindarin; and this form underlies the words for Orc in the languages of Men of the North-West in the Second and Third Ages. The Orcs themselves adopted it, for the fact that it referred to terror and detestation delighted them. The word uruk that occurs in the Black Speech, devised (it is said) by Sauron to serve as a lingua franca for his subjects, was probably borrowed by him from the Elvish tongues of earlier times. It referred, however, specially to the trained and disciplined Orcs of the regiments of Mordor. Lesser breeds seem to have been called snaga.
CE-EX-13.3 <moved from below The word for Orc in the now forgotten tongue of the Druedain in the realm of Gondor is recorded as being (? in the plural) gorgun. This is possibly derived ultimately from the Elvish words.>
CE-EX-13.4 {The Dwarves claimed to have met and fought the Orcs long before the Eldar in Beleriand were aware of them. It was indeed their obvious detestation of the Orcs, and their willingness to assist in any war against them, that convinced the Eldar that the Dwarves were no creatures of Morgoth. Nonetheless the Dwarvish name for Orcs, Rukhs, pl. Rakhas, seems to show affinity to the Elvish names, and was possibly ultimately derived from Avarin.}
The Eldar had many other names for the Orcs, but most of these were 'kennings', descriptive terms of occasional use. One was, however, in frequent use in Sindarin: more often than Orchoth the general name for Orcs as a race that appears in the Annals was Glamhoth. Glam meant 'din, uproar, the confused yelling and bellowing of beasts', so that Glamboth in origin meant more or less 'the Yelling-horde', with reference to the horrible clamour of the Orcs in battle or when in pursuit - they could be stealthy enough at need. But Glamhoth became so firmly associated with Orcs that Glam alone could be used of any body of Orcs, and a singular form was made from it, glamog. (Compare the name of the sword Glamdring.)
CE-EX-13.5 {Note.}[footnote: The word used in translation of Q urko, S orch, is Orc. But that is because of the similarity of the ancient English word orc, 'evil spirit or bogey', to the Elvish words. There is possibly no connexion between them. The English word is now generally supposed to be derived from Latin Orcus.{
The word for Orc in the now forgotten tongue of the Druedain in the realm of Gondor is recorded as being (? in the plural) gorgun. This is possibly derived ultimately from the Elvish words.}]>
CE-EX-14 <Myths Transformed, Text X: Orcs The origin of the Orcs is a matter of debate. ...

And:

CE-EX-57 <AAm §57 Then befell the first sundering of the Elvenfolk. For the kindred of Ingwë, and the most part of the kindreds of Finwë and Olwë, were swayed by the words of their lords, and were willing to depart and follow Oromë.> This they did of their free will, and yet were swayed by the majesty of the {Gods}[Valar], ere their own wisdom was full grown. The Elves that obeyed the summons and followed the three kings are called the Eldar, by the name that Oromë gave them; for he was their guide and led them at the last unto Valinor. CE-EX-58{Yet there were many who preferred the starlight and the wide spaces of the Earth to the rumour of the glory of the Trees, and they remained behind. These are called the Avari, the Unwilling.} <AAm But the kindreds of Morwë and Nurwë were unwilling and refused the summons, preferring the starlight and the wide spaces of the Earth to the rumour of the Trees. Now these dwelt furthest from the waters of {Kuivienen}[Cuivienen], and wandered in the hills, and they had not seen Oromë at his first coming, and of the Valar they knew no more than shapes and rumours of wrath and power as they marched to war. And mayhap the lies of Melkor concerning Oromë and Nahar (that above were recalled) lived still among them, so that they feared him as a demon that would devour them. These are the Avari, the Unwilling, and they were sundered in that time from the Eldar, and met never again until many ages were past.> CE-EX-58.3 <Q&E This name, evidently made by the Eldar at the time of the Separation, is found in histories in the Quenya form Avari, and the Telerin form Abari. It was still used by the historians of the Exiled Noldor, though it hardly differed from Moriquendi, which (see CE-EX-58.4{above}<below>) was no longer used by the Exiles to include Elves of Eldarin origin. The plural Evair was known to Sindarin loremasters, but was no longer in use. Such Avari as came into Beleriand wereCE-EX-58.5{, as has been said,} called Morben, or Mornedhel.>
CE-EX-59 <Q&E There also existed two old compounds containing *kwendi:
*kala-kwendi and *mori-kwendi, the Light-folk and the Dark- folk. These terms appear to go back to the period before the Separation, or rather to the time of the debate among the Quendi concerning the invitation of the Valar. They were evidently made by the party favourable to Oromë, and referred originally to those who desired the Light of Valinor (where the ambassadors of the Elves reported that there was no darkness), and those who did not wish for a place in which there was no night. But already before the final separation *mori-kwendi may have referred to the glooms and the clouds dimming CE-EX-60 {the sun and }the stars during the War of the Valar and Melkor, so that the term from the beginning had a tinge of scorn, implying that such folk were not averse to the shadows of Melkor upon Middle-earth.
The lineal descendants of these terms survived only in the languages of Aman. The Quenya forms were Kalaquendi and Moriquendi. The Kalaquendi in Quenya applied only to the Elves who actually lived or had lived in Aman; and the Moriquendi was applied to all others, whether they had come on the March or not. The latter were regarded as greatly inferior to the Kalaquendi, who had experienced the Light of Valinor, and had also acquired far greater knowledge and powers by their association with the Valar and Maiar.>
CE-EX-60.3 <Q&E Associated with these compounds were the two old words Calben (Celbin) and Morben (Moerbin). CE-EX-60.4{On the formal relation of these to Quenya Kalaquendi and Moriquendi see p. 362.} They had no reference to Elves, except by accident of circumstance. Celbin retained what was, as has been said, probably its original meaning: all Elves other than the Avari; and it included the Sindar. It was in fact the equivalent (when one was needed) of the Quenya Eldar, Telerin Elloi. But it referred to Elves only because no other people qualified for the title. Moerbin was similarly an equivalent for Avari; but that it did not mean only 'Dark-elves' is seen by its ready application to other Incarnates, when they later became known. By the Sindar anyone dwelling outside Beleriand, or entering their realm from outside, was called a Morben. The first people of this kind to be met werethe Nandor, who entered East Beleriand over the passes of the Mountains before the return of Morgoth; soon after his return came the first invasions of his Orcs from the North. Somewhat later the Sindar became aware of Avari, who had crept in small and secret groups into Beleriand from the South. Later came the Men of the Three Houses, who were friendly; and later still Men of other kinds. All these were at first acquaintance called Moerbin.[footnote: The Dwarves were in a special position. They claimed to have known Beleriand before even the Eldar first came there; and there do appear to have been small groups dwelling furtively in the highlands west of Sirion from a very early date: they attacked and waylaid the Elves by stealth, and the Elves did not at first recognize them as Incarnates, but thought them to be some kind of cunning animal, and hunted them. By their own account they were fugitives, driven into the wilderness by their own kin further east, and later they were called the Noegyth Nibin or Petty-dwarves, for they had become smaller than the norm of their kind, and filled with hate for all other creatures. When the Elves met the powerful Dwarves of Nogrod and Belegost, in the eastern side of the Mountains, they recognized them as Incarnates, for they had skill in many crafts, and learned the Elvish speech readily for purposes of traffic. At first the Elves were in doubt concerning them, believing them to be related to Orcs and creatures of Morgoth; but when they found that, though proud and unfriendly, they could be trusted to keep any treaties that they made, and did not molest those who left them in peace, they traded with them and let them come and go as they would. They no longer classed them as Moerbin, but neither did they ever reckon them as Celbin, calling them the Dornhoth ('the thrawn folk') or the Naugrim ('the stunted people').] But when the Nandor were recognized as kinsfolk of Lindarin origin and speech (as was still recognizable), they were received into the class of Celbin. The Men of the Three Houses were also soon removed from the class of Moerbin.[footnote: Though Morben might still be applied to them by any who remained hostile to Men (as were the people of Doriath for the most part); but this was intended to be insulting.] They were given their own name, Edain, and were seldom actually called Celbin, but they were recognized as belonging to this class, which became . practically equivalent to 'peoples in alliance in the War against Morgoth'. The Avari thus remained the chief examples of Moerbin. Any individual Avar who joined with or was admitted among the Sindar (it rarely happened) became a Calben; but the Avari in general remained secretive, hostile to the Eldar, and untrustworthy; and they dwelt in hidden places in the deeper woods, or in caves.[footnote: The implication that as opposed to Celbin the Moerbin were allies of {Morgoth}[Melkor], or at least of dubious loyalty, was, however, untrue with regard to the Avari. No Elf of any kind ever sided with {Morgoth}[Melkor] of free will, though under torture or the stress of great fear, or deluded by lies, they might obey his commands: but this applied also to Celbin. The 'Dark-elves', however, often were hostile, and even treacherous, in their dealings with the Sindar and Noldor; and if they fought, as they did when themselves assailed by the Orcs, they never took any open part in the War on the side of the Celbin. They were, it seems, filled with an inherited bitterness against the Eldar, whom they regarded as deserters of their kin, and in Beleriand this feeling was increased by envy (especially of the Amanyar), and by resentment of their lordliness. The belief of the Celbin that, at the least, they were weaker in resistance to the pressures or lies of {Morgoth}[Melkor], if this grievance was concerned, may have been justified CE-EX-60.5{; but the only case recorded in the histories is that of Maeglin, the son of Eöl. Eöl was a Mornedhel, and is said to have belonged to the Second Clan (whose representatives among the Eldar were the Noldor). He dwelt in East Beleriand not far from the borders of Doriath. He had great smith-craft, especially in the making of swords, in which work he surpassed even the Noldor of Aman; and many therefore believed that he used the morgul, the black arts taught by Morgoth. The Noldor themselves had indeed learned much from Morgoth in the days of his captivity in Valinor; but it is more likely that Eöl was acquainted with the Dwarves, for in many places the Avari became closer in friendship with that people than the Amanyar or the Sindar. Eöl found Irith, the sister of King Turgon, astray in the wild near his dwelling, and he took her to wife by force: a very wicked deed in the eyes of the Eldar. His son Maeglin was later admitted to Gondolin, and given honour as the king's sisterson; but in the end he betrayed Gondolin to Morgoth. Maeglin was indeed an Elf of evil temper and dark mind, and he had a lust and grudge of his own to satisfy; but even so he did what he did only after torment and under a cloud of fear. Some of the Nandor, who were allowed to be Celbin, were not any better. Saeros, a counsellor of King Thingol, who belonged to a small clan of Nandor living in eastern Doriath, was chiefly responsible for the driving into outlawry of Turin son of Hurin. Turin's mother was named Morwen 'dark maiden', because of her dark hair, and it was one of Saeros' worst insults to call her Morben. For that Turin smote him in the king's hall}.
This resentment on the part of the Avari is illustrated by the history of PQ *kwendi. This word, as has been shown, did not survive in the Telerin languages of Middle-earth, and was almost forgotten even in the Telerin of Aman. But the Loremasters of later days, when more friendly relations had been established with Avari of various kinds in Eriador and the Vale of Anduin, record that it was frequently to be found in Avarin dialects. These were numerous, and often as widely sundered from one another as they were from the Eldarin forms of Elvish speech,. but wherever the descendants of *kwendi were found, they meant not 'Elves in general', but were the names that the Avari gave to themselves. They had evidently continued to call themselves *kwendi, the People, regarding those who went away as deserters - though according to Eldarin tradition the numbers of the Eldar at the time of the Separation were in the approximate proportion of 3:2, as compared with the Avari (see CE-EX-60.6{p. 381}<below>). The Avarin forms cited by the Loremasters were: kindi, cuind, hwenti, windan, kinn-lai, penni. The last is interesting as showing the change kw > p. This might be independent of the Common Telerin change; but it suggests that it had already occurred among the Lindar before the Separation. The form penni is cited as coming from the 'Wood-elven' speech of the Vale of Anduin, and these Elves were among the most friendly to the fugitives from Beleriand, and held themselves akin to the remnants of the Sindar.] Moerbin as applied to them is usually translated 'Dark-elves', partly because Moriquendi in the Quenya of the Exiled Noldor usually referred to them. But that no special reference to Elves was intended by the Sindarin word is shown by the fact that Moerbin was at once applied to the new bands of Men (Easterlings) that appeared before the Battle of the Nirnaeth.[Reference to the last footnote] If in Sindarin an Avar, as distinct from other kinds of Morben, was intended, he was called Mornedhel.>
§24 The Eldar prepared now a great march from their first homes in the East. When all was made ready, Oromë rode at their head upon Nahar, his white horse shod with gold; and behind him the Eldalië were arrayed in three hosts.

Of course we can as well discuss to skip all the linguistcal material and place it all together in volume 3: THE LORE OF THE WISE.

Here only the comments on the first part I added:
CE-EX-09 and -12: I changed the source inforamtion to make clearer where to find this text.
CE-EX-13.2: This is Appendix C of Q&E. It is very linguistic stuff, but with some info include that seems to me worth consideration.
CE-EX-13.3: I moved this paragraph up to hold the info about manish tongues together.
CE-EX-13.4: This should be used later. Probably in the chapter 13 Of the Sindar.
CE-EX-13.5: I moved this Note from the Essay into a footnote in our text.

Respectfully
Findegil

[Findegil]

On we go with my comments:
CE-EX-58.3: Here I added the linguistic Information about the Name Avari.
CE-EX-58.4: Since we moved the texts we have to Change the reference.
CE-EX-58.5: Again here, but 'it will been said' seems not okay for me.
CE-EX-59: As this contains a lot of Information about the debate among the Quendi I find it improtant to include it.
CE-EX-60: This should probably have been a -SL- number, but the fact is the sun is not around in our version of this time.
CE-EX-60.3: The Calben/Morben info fits (if at all) in this place.
CE-EX-60.4: The reference is to paragraph we did not take up fully, so it has to go.
CE-EX-60.5: Both Information (about Eöl and Saeros insult) must be considered for inserting in the proper place in the narative.
CE-EX-61: The Long Addition from Q&E does bring in the Information about relative numbers of the sundering of the Elves.
CE-EX-62, -64 and -65: Here are inserted the lingustical information about the respective clan names.
CE-EX-63: A Change in the Basic text made by JRR Tolkien.
CE-EX-66, -67 and -68: The use and Definition of 'Umanyar' is much broder given in Q&E.
CE-EX-69: The journey of the Eldar is best described in AAm.
CE-SL-21: Do we hold that chronology? I found it safer to remove the years.
CE-EX-70: Namo is no longer valid as shown in Q&E below.
CE-EX-71: Linguistics about the Nandor, denying the validity of Namo.
CE-EX-72: Do we Change the chronology? If yes, These might stand. Safest way would probably be to remove both 'not' and 'long'.
CE-EX-73: Again we take up AAm because it gives the fuller account.
CE-SL-22: Again a question if we want to fix the chronolgy or not.
CE-EX-74: I couldn't resist this nice and melacholic part from LT maken clear how horiable that journey must have been.
CE-EX-75 and -76: Linguistics about the Sindar.
CE-EX-77: Since Dân no longer seems to be the right name, his people should be named after him.

A view Point in addition:
- I have marked that I missed some of Tolkiens notes especialy in thses last paragraphs. I will later work on that point.
- I am currently think about an addition here from Q&E about the Falathrim and probably including the Essay Círdan.

Respectfully
Findegil

[Findegil]

Okay, I did the work with the Notes directly, so why not share it:

... Some of these finally entered Beleriand, CE-EX-72{not} long before the return of {Morgoth}[Melkor]. These were under the leadership of Denethor, son of Denweg [footnote: Lenwe is the form in which his name was remembered in Noldorin histories. His name was probably *Denwego, Nandorin Denweg. His son was the Nandorin chieftain Denethor. These names probably meant 'lithe-and-active' and 'lithe-and-lank', from *dene- 'thin and strong, pliant, lithe', and *thara- 'tall (or long) and slender'.], who became an ally of Elwë in the first battles with the creatures of {Morgoth}[Melkor]. ...

CE-EX-76 <Q&E Sindar{
Less commonly the form Sindel, pl. Sindeldi, is also met in Exilic Quenya. This} was the name given by the Exiled Ñoldor [footnot: Lake Mithrim, meaning originally 'Lake of the Mithrim'. Mithrim was a name given to them by the southern-dwellers, because of the cooler climate and greyer skies, and the mists of the North. It was probably because the Noldor first came into contact with this northerly branch that they gave in Quenya the name Sindar or Sindeldi 'Grey-elves' to all the Telerin inhabitants of the Westlands who spoke the Sindarin language.
Though this name was also later held to refer to Elwe's name Thingol (Sindikollo) 'Grey-cloak', since he was acknowledged as high-king of all the land and its peoples. It is said also that the folk of the North were clad much in grey, especially after the return of {Morgoth}[Melkor] when secrecy became needed; and the Mithrim had an art of weaving a grey cloth that made its wearers almost invisible in shadowy places or in a stony land.
This art was later used even in the southern lands as the dangers of the War increased.] to the second largest of the divisions of the Eldar. [footnote: See above{, p. 381}<the 1st paragraph of this sub-chapter>. The proportion, per 144, of the Eldar remaining in Middle-earth was reckoned at 26, of which about 8 were Nandor.] It was applied to all the Elves of Telerin origin that the Ñoldor found in Beleriand, though it later excluded the Nandor, except those who were the direct subjects of Elwë, or had become merged with his people. The name meant 'the Grey', or 'the Grey-elves', and was derived from *THIN, PQ *thindi 'grey, pale or silvery grey', Q þinde, Ñ dialect sinde. [footnote: On the origin of this name see {Note 11}<referenc tothe footnote above>]
The Loremasters also supposed that reference was made to the hair of the Sindar. ...

Respectfully
Findegil

[Findegil]

Okay, I discovered a mistake of mine: Starting with CE-EX-73 I expanded a part of the LQ that was deliberately a summary of events told later in a much fuller account. The summary is given at this place to complete lingustical account (that is original in LQ) of the names of the Elvish groups. The next chapter 6 Of Eldamar and the Princes of the Eldalië begins with the Vanyar and Noldor reaching the shore of Beleriand. Therefore here is only the palce for linguistic information to be added and not for expansion the story telling. I worked through the text again keeping that in mind and give it here starting with last paragraph before the changes begin. This paragraph is from an addition coming from Q&E:

These names were however later replaced among the Sindar by the name 'Green-elves', at least as far as the inhabitants of Ossiriand were concerned; for they withdrew themselves and took as little part in the strife with {Morgoth}[Melkor] as they could. This name, S Laegel, pl. Laegil, class-plural Laegrim or Laegel(d)rim, was given both because of the greenness of the land of Lindon, and because the Laegrim clothed themselves in green as an aid to secrecy. This term the Ñoldor translated into Quenya Laiquendi; but it was not much used.>
§30 Others there were also of the Teleri that remained in Middle-earth. These were the Elves of Beleriand in the west of the Northern lands. They came from the host of Elwë the Grey. He was lost in the woods and many of his folk sought him long in vain; and thus when their kindred departed over Sea they were left behind and went not into the West. Therefore they are called the Sindar, the Grey Elves, but themselves they named {Eglath}[ Egladrim], the Forsaken. CE-EX-75 <Q&E Less commonly the form Sindel, pl. Sindeldi, is also met in Exilic Quenya.> Elwë after became their king, mightiest of all the {Alamanyar [correction to }Umanyar{ missed]}. He it was who was called Thingol in the language of Doriath. CE-EX-76 <Q&E Sindar{
Less commonly the form Sindel, pl. Sindeldi, is also met in Exilic Quenya. This} was the name given by the Exiled Ñoldor [footnote: Lake Mithrim, meaning originally 'Lake of the Mithrim'. Mithrim was a name given to them by the southern-dwellers, because of the cooler climate and greyer skies, and the mists of the North. It was probably because the Noldor first came into contact with this northerly branch that they gave in Quenya the name Sindar or Sindeldi 'Grey-elves' to all the Telerin inhabitants of the Westlands who spoke the Sindarin language.
Though this name was also later held ...
This art was later used even in the southern lands ...
The Loremasters also supposed that reference was ... For which reason the Sindar often called them Lachend, pl. Lechind 'flame-eyed'.>
CE-EX-76.1 <Q&E The Sindar had no general name for themselves as distinct from other varieties of Elf, until other kinds entered Beleriand. ...
The old clan-name *Lindai survived in the compound Glinnel, pl. Glinnil, a word only known in historical lore, and the equivalent of Quenya Teleri or Lindar CE-EX-76.2{; see the Notes on the Clan-names below}. All the Sindarin subjects of King Elu-Thingol, as distinguished from the incoming Noldor, ...
While the Noldor were still distinct, ...
Odhil thus became specially the name of the Exiled Noldor.
In this sense the form Godhel, pl. Godhil soon replaced the older form. ... The name was, moreover, chiefly used by those who wished to mark the difference between the Noldor and the Sindar, and to ignore the dwelling of the Noldor in Aman which might give them a claim to superiority. CE-EX-76.3{This was especially the case in Doriath, where King Thingol was hostile to the Noldorin chieftains, Feanor and his sons, and Fingolfin, because of their assault upon the Teleri in Aman, the people of his brother Olwë. }The Noldor, therefore, when using Sindarin, never applied this name (Golodh) to themselves, and it fell out of use among those friendly to them.
CE-EX-76.4{4. }The name Eglan, pl. Eglain, Egladrim{. This name}, 'the Forsaken', was, as has been said, given by the Sindar to themselves. ... But they acknowledged the high-kingship of Thingol, and Círdan never took the title of king.>[Footnote: Other names in song and tale are given to these peoples. The Vanyar are the Blessed Elves, and the Spear-elves, the Elves of the Air, the friends of the {Gods}[Valar], the Holy Elves and the Immortal, and the Children of Ingwë; they are the Fair Folk and the White.
The Noldor are the Wise, and the Golden, the Valiant, the Sword-elves, the Elves of the Earth, the Foes of Melkor, the Skilled of Hand, the Jewel-wrights, the Companions of Men, the Followers of Finwë.
The Teleri are the Foam-riders, the Singers of the Shore, the Free, and the Swift, and the Arrow-elves; they are the Elves of the Sea, the Ship-wrights, the Swanherds, the Gatherers of Pearl, the Blue Elves, the people of Olwë. The Nandor are CE-EX-77{the Host of Dân, }the Wood-elves, the Wanderers, the Axe-elves, the Green Elves and the Brown, the Hidden People; and those that came at last to Ossiriand are the Elves of the Seven Rivers, the Singers Unseen, the Kingless, the Weaponless, and the Lost Folk, for they are now no more. The Sindar are the Lemberi, the Lingerers; they are the Friends of Ossë, the Elves of the Twilight, the Silvern, the Enchanters, the Wards of Melian, the Kindred of Luthien, the people of Elwë. Quoth Pengolod.]>

Here my comments on this new situation:
CE-EX-73 (with CE-SL-22) This Story is told in the next chapter. If the AAm has to be inserted there must be discussed when we edit that chapter.
CE-EX-74 Same is true for this material from [/b]LT[/b].
Accordingly §30 of the original LQ is restored.
CE-EX-75 and -76: These are unchanged from the last version.
CE-EX-76.1: This is a long addition from Q&E. It includes some farther information about the Sindar an general but also adds names in Sindarin for the Noldor and the devision of the Sindar themselves.
CE-EX-76.2: The reference was from one part of Q&E to an other, but due to my editing they are now very close together.
CE-EX-76.3: I removed this spoiler. The enmity between Thingol and the Feanorians should not be fortold.
CE-EX-76.4: Here I removed the structure of the Q&E text.
The last 3 paragraphs about the Círdan’s folk I would rather use in chapter 6 Of Eldamar and the Princes of the Eldalië were also the essay Círdan is used.
Respectfully
Findegil

[ArcusCalion]

Hi all! I have finished reviewing Findegil's changes for this section, and I will here place my thoughts. This will be quite a long post, so I apologize. Before I begin, I want to commend Findegil for doing such a thorough job of finding all relevant passages to be included.

all bits in italics are my proposed changes. Any section not remarked on is one I've agreed with completely.

CE-EX-01: I agree about this insertion, but your version is somewhat choppy, as it contains some repetition. Maybe:

§18 In all this time, since Melkor overthrew the Lamps, the Middle-earth east of the Mountains was without light. While the Lamps had shone, growth began there which now was checked, because all was again dark. But already the oldest living things had arisen: in the sea the great weeds, and on the earth the shadow of great trees; and in the valleys of the night-clad hills there were dark creatures old and strong. In those lands and forests Oromë would often hunt; and there too at times Yavanna came, singing sorrowfully; for she was grieved {at the darkness of Middle-earth and ill content that it was forsaken.} <AAm because all the growth and promise of the spring of Arda was checked. And she set a sleep upon many fair things that had arisen in the Spring, both tree and herb and beast and bird, so that they should not age but should wait for a time of awakening that yet should be.> But the other Valar came seldom thither CE-EX-01

this way we keep the Sleep of Yavanna without repeating the wanderings of her and Orome. The next paragraph would simply pick up in the AAm insertion from before.

CE-SL-01: agreed. just a question, are we going with Ork or Orc?

CE-SL-02, -03, -04, -05, -06 and -07: I agree with the fact that they need change, but I have a few minor suggested changes. For 03 we should remove "again" from "the stars were again shining in the morrow-dim" because in this version they have always been shining, so there is no need to make note of their shining "again." For 04 In a similar vein, the preceding sentence reads: "It was still night and clouds were in the sky." we should no doubt change "still night" to "dark" because again, it was always night then. There is a reference you did not mark which I will call CE-SL-04.2 For 05 I think we could keep simply "by twilight" but we could also simply delete it. For 06 I think we should delete the reference to the Sun of summer. Inserting "later" to me seems awkward, and also seems to contradict that the sun was for Men and gave them the greatest joy. For 07 I would remove "in the spring of the year" because it was during the sleep of yavanna, and so there were no seasons.

CE-EX-05: I agree about the insertion. Two small things: in your version Cuiviénen is missing its accent mark here and several other places, but that's minor. The other question is "Endon." the published Sil has Endor, so are we sure that "Endon" is the latest form?

CE-EX-07: This section does not work at all tonally or in its subject matter. This is Tolkien analysing the nature of Morgoth, and does not fit at all in this section.

CE-EX-08: The transition is jarring, and I think a subheading is need “Of Orcs.” If we remove the previous paragraph, then it should be placed here. Otherwise, this is good, as it flows with the narrative.

CE-EX-10: I could not find where it was moved to. Why is it out of place there?

CE-EX-11: this has too colloquial of a tone, maybe:

CE-EX-11 <Letter to Mrs. Munby: There must have been orc-women. But in stories that seldom if ever see the Orcs except as soldiers of armies in the service of the evil lords, {we naturally would not learn}[not] much [was learned] about their lives. {Not much was known}>.

The last sentence is redundant.

CE-SL-08: agreed.

I have one question:

This view of the origin of the Orcs thus meets with difficulties of chronology. But though Men may take some comfort in this, the theory remains nonetheless the most probable. It accords with all that is known of Melkor, and of the nature and behavior of Orcs – and of Men. Melkor was impotent to produce any living thing, but skilled in the corruption of things that did not proceed from himself, if he could dominate them. But is he had indeed attempted to make creatures of his own in mockery of the Incarnates, he would, like Aulë, only have succeeded in producing puppets : his creatures would have acted only while the attention of his will was upon them, and they would have shown no reluctance to execute any command of his, even if it were to destroy themselves.

In this version, is Of the Dwarves going with the Anaxartaron Onyalie? Or in the chapter Concerning the Naugrim and the Edain?

CE-EX-17: The text of the note is not finished, and so inserting it as is does not work. Perhaps a rewording of:

CE-EX-17 <Myths Transformed, Text VIII: Orcs; but by practicing when embodied procreation they would {(cf. Melian) [}become{]} more and more earthbound, unable to return to spirit-state, {(}even demon-form{)}, until released by death {(killing)}; and they would dwindle in force. When released they would, of course, {like Sauron, }be {'damned': i.e.} reduced to impotence, infinitely recessive: still hating but unable more and more to make it effective physically {(or would not a very dwindled dead Orc-state be a poltergeist?)}.>

I removed the poltergeist reference. I think this is Tolkien simply thinking as he wrote, and does not fit into the flow of the narrative.

CE-EX-18: agreed.

I noticed that you stopped after

This was the teaching of the Wise, though in the horror of the War it was not always heeded.

Why not give the next paragraph?

CE-EX-18.2 <Myths Transformed, Text X:Orcs It is true, of course, that {Morgoth}[Melkor] held the Orcs in dire thralldom; for in their corruption they had lost almost all possibility of resisting the domination of his will. So great indeed did its pressure upon them become ere Angband fell that, if he turned his thought towards them, they were conscious of his ‘eye’ wherever they might be; and when {Morgoth}[Melkor] was at last removed from Arda the Orcs that survived in the West were scattered, leaderless and almost witless, and were for a long time without control or purpose.>

CE-EX-19, -20: The section above and this one make me wonder if this whole “Of Orcs” should be moved to the chapter “Of the Sindar.” This way we can use the Morgoth references, and the references to Angband will not seem so out of the blue. It has not been named before, unless I am mistaken.

CE-EX-21: The word (sterile!) is awkward. Maybe remove:

CE-EX-21 <Myths Transformed, Text VIII: Orcs These may then even have been mated with beasts {(sterile!)} - and later Men. Their life-span would be diminished. And dying they would go to Mandos and be held in prison till the End.>

CE-EX-22: see-19, -20 above.

CE-EX-24: I cannot find a source for the subheading, but this heading is plainly necessary, and the Captivity of Melkor is the period and the event it is describing, so it works.

CE-EX-26, -27: This section feels tonally jarring, perhaps some minor editing is needed. I agree with -27 however. Maybe:

CE-EX-26 <LT Oromë {pricks}[pricked] over the plain, and drawing rein he {shouts}[shouted] aloud so that all the ears in {Valmar}[Valimar] {may}[could] hear him: ‘Tulielto! Tulieito! - They have come - they have come!’ Then he {stands}[stood] midway between the Two Trees and {winds}{[wound]}[blew] his horn, and the gates of {Valmar}[Valimar] {are}[were] opened, and the {Vali}[Valar] {trooped}[came] into the plain, for they guessed that tidings of wonder {have}[had] come into the world. Then [i]{spake} Oromë [spoke]: ‘Behold the woods of the Great Lands, even in {Palisor}[Endon/r] the midmost region where the pinewoods murmur unceasingly, are full of a strange noise. There did I wander, and lo! {'twas} [it was] as if folk arose betimes beneath the latest stars. There was a stir among the distant trees and words were spoken suddenly, and feet went to and fro. Then did I CE-EX-27{say what is this deed that Palúrien my mother has wrought in secret, and I sought her out and questioned her, and she answered: “This is no work of mine, but the hand of one far greater did this.} think: 'Ilúvatar hath awakened his children at the last - ride home to Valinor and tell the {Gods}[Valar] that the Eldar have come indeed!{”}’
Then shouted all the people of Valinor: ‘I-Eldar tulier - the Eldar have come’ - and it was not until that hour that the {Gods}[Valar] knew that their joy had contained a flaw, or that they had waited in hunger for its completion, but now they knew that the world had been an empty place beset with loneliness having no children for her own.>

CE-EX-28: Similar to the last one, the tone is somewhat jarring. Maybe:

CE-EX-28 <LT and of the redes there spoken the {Gods}[Valar] devised a plan of wisdom, and the thought of Ulmo was therein and much of the craft of Aulë and the wide knowledge of Manwë. Behold, Aulë now gathered six metals: copper, silver, tin, lead, iron, and gold, and taking a portion of each made with his {magic}[power] a seventh which he named therefore tilcal, and this had all the properties of the six and many of its own. Its color was bright green or red in varying lights and it could not be broken, and Aulë alone could forge it. Thereafter he forged a mighty chain, making it of all seven metals welded with spells to a substance of uttermost hardness and brightness and smoothness, but of tilcal he had not sufficient to add more than a little to each link. Nonetheless he made two manacles of tilcal only and four fetters likewise. Now the chain was named Angainor, the oppressor{, and the manacles Vorotemnar that bind forever, but the fetters Ilterendi for they might not be filed or cleft}.
But the desire of the {Gods}[Valar] was to seek out {Melko}[Melkor] with great power - and to entreat him, if it might be, to better deeds; yet did they purpose, if naught else availed, to overcome him by force or guile, and set him in a bondage from which there should be no escape.>

The names for the manacles and fetters seem to need extensive linguistic revision, and so maybe it is best to leave them out.

CE-SL-12: Why was “and make an end” removed?

CE-EX-30, -31, -32, -33, -34, and -35: The first part of this section feels to me to be very much against the tone and presentation of the Valar in the later legendarium. They are presented as physical pagan gods in war gear, whereas Tolkien later came to view the Valar as more spiritual and demiurgic in their conflicts. This description of them seems to reduce them from their state in the later legendarium as the Powers of the Earth to simply pagan gods. However, if we want to retain it, we must remove the reference to Salmar and Omar, as they were not major figures in the later legendarium:

CE-EX-30 <LT Now as Aulë smithied the {Gods}[Valar] arrayed themselves in armor, CE-EX-31{ which they had of Makar, and he was fain to see them} putting on weapons and going as to war CE-EX-32{, howso their wrath be directed against Melko}. But when the great {Gods}[Valar] and all their folk were armed, then Manwë climbed into his blue chariot whose three horses were the whitest that roamed in Oromë's domain, and his hand bore a great white bow that would shoot an arrow like a gust of wind across the widest seas. CE-EX-33{Fionwe his son stood behind him and Nornore}[Eönwë] who was his herald ran before; but Oromë rode alone upon CE-EX-34{a chestnut}[Nahar his] horse and had a spear, and Tulkas strode mightily beside his stirrup, having a tunic of hide and a brazen belt and no weapon save a gauntlet upon his right hand, iron-bound. CE-EX-35 {Telimektar his son but just war-high was by his shoulder with a long sword girt about his waist by a silver girdle. }There rode the {Fanturi}[Fëanturi] upon a car of black, and there was a black horse upon the side of Mandos and a dappled grey upon the side of Lóriën, {and Salmar and Omar came behind running speedily,} but Aulë who was late tarrying overlong at his smithy came last, and he was not armed, but caught up his long-handled hammer as he left his forge and fared hastily to the borders of the Shadowy Sea, and the fathoms of his chain were borne behind by four of his smithy-folk. Upon those shores Falman-Ossë met them and drew them across on a mighty raft whereon he himself sat in shimmering mail; but Ulmo {Vailimo}[Vaiaro] was far ahead roaring in his deep-sea car and trumpeting in wrath upon a horn of conches.

The last part may be kept, even if we discard the first, but will then require revision:

[quote] { Thus was it that}[Then] the {Gods}[Valar] got them over the sea and through the isles, and set foot upon the wide lands, and marched in great power and anger ever more to the North. Thus they passed the Mountains of Iron and {Hisilome}[Hithlum] that lies dim beyond, and came to the rivers and hills of ice. There {Melko}[Melkor] shook the earth beneath them, and he made snow-capped heights to belch forth flame, yet for the greatness of their array his vassals who infested all their ways availed nothing to hinder them on their journey.>

CE-EX-37: Ringil should be Illuin

CE-EX-39, -40, -41, -42, and -43: This section is tonally jarring in many places, being an analytical text of motives, and often does not translate well into narrative form. I will recommend my changes:

CE-EX-39 <MT; VI But Melkor had already progressed some way towards becoming CE-EX-40{the Morgoth, }a tyrant (or central tyranny and will), {{+}plus}[considered with the sum of] his agents{’}. Only the total contained the old power of the complete Melkor; so that if {'}the CE-EX-41{Morgoth}[tyrant]{'} could be reached or temporarily separated from his agents he was much more nearly controllable and {on a power level with}[equal to] the Valar. The Valar {find}[found] that they {can}[could] deal with his agents {(sc. armies, Balrogs, etc.)} {piecemeal}[individually]. So {that} they {come}[came] at last to Utumno itself and {find}[found] that {'the Morgoth'}[Melkor] {has}[had] no longer for the moment sufficient {'}force{'} {(in any sense)} to shield himself from direct personal contact . CE-EX-42 <LT{and now they follow}[And now the Valar followed] Manwë and his herald into the caverns of the North. There sat {Melko}[Melkor] in his chair, and that chamber was lit with flaming braziers and full of evil {magic}[power], and strange shapes moved with feverish movement in and out, but snakes of great size curled and uncurled without rest about the pillars that upheld that lofty roof.> Manwë at last {faces}[faced] Melkor again, as he {has}[had] not done since he entered Arda. Both {are}[were] amazed: Manwë to perceive the decrease in Melkor as a person; Melkor to perceive this also from his own point of view{:}[; as] he {has}[had] now less personal force than Manwë, and {can}[could] no longer daunt him with his gaze.
{Either}{Manwë} {must tell}{[told] him} {so or}{/and/ he}[He] {must }himself suddenly {realize (or both) }[realized] that this {has}[had] happened: he {is}[had] {'}dispersed{'}. But the lust to have creatures under him, dominated, {has}[had] become habitual and necessary to Melkor, so that even if the process was reversible (/as it /possibly was by absolute and unfeigned self-abasement and repentance only) he {cannot}[could not] bring himself to do it. [footnote to the text: One of the reasons for his self-weakening is that he has given to his {'}creatures{'}, CE-EX-43{Orcs, Balrogs, etc.} power of recuperation and multiplication{. So}[, so] that they {will}[would] gather again without further specific orders. Part of his native creative power {has}[had] gone out into making an independent evil growth out of his control.] {As with all other characters there must be}{/In/ a trembling}[There was a] moment {when it is}[when]/he was/ in the balance{:}[; and] he nearly {repents}[repented]- and {does}[did] not, and {becomes}[became] much wickeder, and more foolish.
Possibly (and he {thinks}[thought] it possible) he could {now} at that moment be humiliated against his own will and {'}chained{'} - if and before his dispersed forces {reassemble}[reassembled]. So - as soon as he {has}[had] mentally rejected repentance - he {(just like Sauron afterwards on this model)} {makes}[made] a mockery of self-abasement and repentance. From {which}[this] actually he {gets}[got]a {kind of} perverted pleasure as in desecrating something holy - [[footnote] for the mere contemplating of the possibility of genuine repentance, if that did not come specially then as a direct grace from Eru, was at least one last flicker of his true primeval nature.] He {feigns}[feigned] remorse and repentance. He {actually}[even] {kneels}[knelt] before Manwë and {surrenders}[surrendered] - in the first instance to avoid being chained by the Chain Angainor, which once upon him he {fears}[feared] would not ever be able to be shaken off. But also suddenly he {has}[had] the idea of penetrating the vaunted fastness of Valinor, and ruining it. So he {offers}[offered] to become {'}the least of the Valar{'}, and servant of them each and all, to help (in advice and skill) in repairing all the evils and hurts he {has}[had] done. It {is}[was] this offer which {seduces}[seduced] or {deludes}[deluded] Manwë[.]{ -} Manwë {must be shown to have}/had/ his own inherent fault (though not sin) {[footnote to the text: Every finite creature must have some weakness: that is some inadequacy to deal with some situations. It is not sinful when not willed, and when the creature does his best (even if it is not what should be done) as he sees it - with the conscious intent of serving Eru.)]}: he {has}[had] become engrossed (partly out of sheer fear of Melkor, partly out of desire to control him) in amendment, healing, re-ordering { - even 'keeping the status quo' -} to the loss of all creative power and even to weakness in dealing with difficult and perilous situations. [Thus,] against the advice of some of the Valar (such as Tulkas) he {grants}[granted] Melkor's prayer.

CE-EX-45: Some changes:

CE-EX-45 <LT Now {is} a court [was] set upon the slopes of Taniquetil and {Melko}[Melkor] arraigned before all the {Vali great and small} [Valar] {,lying bound before} [and] the silver chair of Manwë. Against him {speaketh}[spoke] Ossë, and Oromë, and Ulmo in deep ire, and Vána in abhorrence, proclaiming his deeds of cruelty and violence.

I left the silver chair of Manwe in bc there is no reason to delete it as long as Melkor is not bound. But the line about the Vali feels very “lost tales” and not very “silmarillion.”

CE-SL-15: agreed. But shortly after this there are some lines that are awkward:

But at the council Melkor {is}[was] not given immediate freedom. The Valar in assembly {will}/did/ not tolerate this. Melkor {is}[was] remitted to Mandos (to stay there in 'reclusion' and meditate, and complete his repentance - and also his plans for redress ).
Then {he begins}[Melkor began] to doubt the wisdom of his own policy, and would have rejected it all and burst out into flaming rebellion[.] {- but}[But] he {is}[was] now absolutely isolated from his agents and in {enemy territory}[the lands of his enemies] {. He}[and he] {cannot}/could not do this/. Therefore he {swallows}[swallowed] the bitter pill (but it greatly {increases}[increased] his hate, and he ever {afterward}[afterwards] accused Manwë of being faithless).>

Just cleared out a few colloquialisms and cleaned up the sentence structure so that it resembles a narrative format rather than an analytical essay.

CE-EX-48, -49: looks good, except {Valmar}[Valimar] and {Palisor}[Endon/r]

CE-EX-50, -51: This requires some changes:

CE-EX-50{Makar}[Ulmo] said that Valinor was builded for the Valar {– ‘and already is it a rose-garden of fair ladies rather than an abode of men. Wherefore do ye desire to fill it with the children of the world ?’} In this {Measse}[Mandos and Niënna] backed him. {and Mandos and {Fui}[Niënna] were cold to the Eldar as to all else;} {yet}[Yet] was Varda vehement in support of Yavanna and Tuivána, and indeed her love for the Eldar has ever been the greatest of all the folk of Valinor; and Aulë and Lóriën, Oromë and Nessa CE-EX-51{ and Ulmo most mightily} proclaimed their desire for the bidding of the Eldar to dwell among the {Gods}[Valar].
Wherefore, {albeit Ossë spake cautiously against it – belike out of that ever-smoldering jealousy and rebellion he felt against Ulmo - }it was the voice of the council that the Eldar should be bidden, and the {Gods}[Valar] awaited but the judgement of Manwë.

I took out the quote of Makar, as Ulmo would never say this. This is not his reason for opposing the March. He wishes them to be free, not to be rid of them. I also removed Osse, since he is not a Valar, and in this version he isn’t “rebelling against Ulmo” since he’s agreeing with him.

CE-EX-52: This requires minor editing:

[b]CE-EX-53 <LT Now once more {is}[was a] council set and Manwë {sitteth}[sat] before the {Gods}[Valar] there amid the Two Trees - and those had now borne light for four ages. Every one of the {Vali}[Valar] {fare}[fared] thither, even Ulmo {Vailimo}[Vaiaro] in great haste from the Outer Seas, and his face is eager and glad.

CE-EX-56: This needs some work, firstly because of the mention of Silmo watering the roots of Silpion. If he is to be included in Chapter 2, then this reference can stand. As for the speeches of the Elves, I changed it to be more general, bc in this version they are not the first generation of Elves:

CE-EX-56 <LT {Behold}[behold] now brought by {Nornore}[Eönwë] the three Elves stood before the {Gods}[Valar], and it was at that time the changing of the lights, and {Silpion}[Telperion] was waning but Laurelin was awakening to his greatest glory. {even as Silmo emptied the urn of silver about the roots of the other Tree} Then those Elves..…
But {Noleme}[Finwë] answering said: ‘Lo! Most mighty one, whence indeed come we! For {meseems I}[our fathers] awoke {but now} from a sleep eternally profound, whose vast dreams already are forgotten.’ And {Tinwe}[Elwë] said thereto that {his heart}[their hearts] told {him}[them] that {he was}[they were] {new-}come from illimitable regions, yet he might not recollect by what dark and strange paths {he}[they] had been brought; and last spake {Inwe}[Ingwë], who had been gazing upon Laurelin while the others spake, and he said: ‘Knowing neither whence {I}[we] come nor by what ways nor yet whither I go, the world that we are in is but one great wonderment to me, and methinks I love it wholly, yet it fills me altogether with a desire for light.’
Then Manwë saw that Ilúvatar had {wiped}[removed] from the minds of the Eldar all knowledge of the manner of their coming, and that the {Gods}[Valar] might not discover it; and he was filled with deep astonishment.{…} Turning to the three Eldar he said: ‘Go ye back now to your kindreds and {Nornore}[Eönwë] shall bring you swiftly there, even to {Koivie-neni}[Cuiviénen] in {Palisor}[Endon/r] . Behold, this is the word of Manwë Súlimo, and the voice of the Valar's desire, that the people of the Eldalië, the Children of Ilúvatar, fare to Valinor, and there dwell in the splendor of Laurelin and the radiance of {Silpion}[Telperion] and know the happiness of the {Gods}[Valar]. An abode of surpassing beauty shall they possess, and the {Gods}[Valar] will aid them in its building.’

CE-EX-58, -58.3, -58.4, -58.5: These are fine, but the “(see below)” should be removed. The reader will see for themselves as they read on.

CE-EX-59 to the end of -60: These sections should go under the next section, to be consistent.

CE-EX-65 till the end: The complex philological discussions of the Elven clan names should be included, but I do not think they belong in the narrative itself. I think the QS (and AAm) sections should be put under the main “Of the Captivity of Melkor” heading, and the clan names, including the Avari discussion, should be placed under the subheading “The Clan Names, with Notes on Other Names of the Divisions of the Eldar.” To leave it as is is to ruin the flow of the narrative entirely, and make it virtually unreadable.

Phew, that was a long one! Fndegil, you did an incredible job synthesizing so many varied sources of such differing types, and I really have to commend you!

[ArcusCalion]

I was just throwing together a draft for the next chapter and I saw a good addition from the Grey Annals for the Captivity of Melkor. Maybe in this way:

Yet they had no part in those deeds; and little do they know of the riding of the power of the West against the North in the beginning of their days, and of the fire and tumult of the Battle of the {Gods}[Valar]. In those days the shape of Middle-earth was changed and broken and the seas were moved.
CE-EX-35.2 <GA In these regions, therefore, were fought the first battles of the Powers of the West and the North, and all this land was much broken, and it took then that shape which it had until the coming of {Fionwe}[Eönwë]. For the Great Sea broke in upon the coasts and made a deep gulf to the southward, and many lesser bays were made between the Great Gulf and Helcaraxë far in the North, where Middle-earth and Aman came nigh together. Of these bays the Bay of Balar was the chief; and into it the mighty river Sirion flowed down from the new-raised highlands northwards: Dorthonion and the mountains about Hithlum. At first these lands upon either side of Sirion were ruinous and desolate because of the War of the Powers, but soon growth began there, while most of Middle earth slept in the Sleep of Yavanna, because the Valar of the Blessed Realm had set foot there; and there were young woods under the bright stars. These Melian the Maia fostered; and she dwelt most in the glades of Nan Elmoth beside the River Celon. There also dwelt her nightingales.>
CE-SL-13{ Tulkas it was who at the last wrestled with Melkor and overthrew him}

[Findegil]

Hello guys,

I just wanted to let you know that I have read through ArcusCalions comments. Thanks for the detailed criticism. I think some of your suggestion will make it to the final text. (e.g. your CE-EX-35.2). I as well have read your misplaced post in thread about the Athrabeth (probably you should replace it there with a comment that is a misplaced post and but it in here). I will have to read through all this again with my original text beside and my own comments to my changes as well. But it is late already here in Europe (3 o’clock in the night actually) and I will therefore postpone that. (Since I am very occupied in real life, am not sure how soon that might be.)

But one more general comment might be in order: I can see your point that the stuff from MT is awkward in style if taken to stand inside a narrative. But we have to be careful in that territory. The project once to the great annoyance of one of its initiators decided to shy bake from any stylistic change. That meant our finished work is not supposed to have any high literature value. (At least in the first step. If motivation would last - as it seems it has not - the members that wanted the stylistic changes envisioned a second phase, in which they would go through the finished work again and remove all the tonally jarring jumps.)

Respectfully
Findegil

P.S.: I see the need to have my draft of the chapters before this one up here in the forum, and to work on that was what brought me here today in the first place.