Wouldn't a LOTR Series Been Nice?

[Forlong the Fat]

Originally Posted by Uruk's Bane

If a series had much at all of that junk in it that you mention, it wouldn't have anything to do with LotR. You just destroyed most of the relationships in the book.

How dare you call my ideas junk? Personally I think every one of my scenarios makes more sense than the elves coming to Helm's Deep.

[Uruk's Bane]

Originally Posted by Forlong the Fat

How dare you call my ideas junk? Personally I think every one of my scenarios makes more sense than the elves coming to Helm's Deep.

Uh... I thought you were kidding. The problem I have is, you're taking the major characters and totally distorting their relationships with each other. Maybe you can do that for something you wrote, but not for something like LotR. That is too much change in the wrong areas.

[Forlong the Fat]

Originally Posted by Uruk's Bane

Uh... I thought you were kidding. The problem I have is, you're taking the major characters and totally distorting their relationships with each other. Maybe you can do that for something you wrote, but not for something like LotR. That is too much change in the wrong areas.

I disagree. An enhanced relationship between Gimli and Legolas would bring a dimension of love and tenderness that only incredibly explicit gay elf/dwarf sex can impart. I feel confident that JRT would have included it if he had thought of it. Well I thought of it and I refuse to hide my talents any longer. In fact, just imagining it has inspired the first of what I'm sure will be many brilliant casting decisions: Ron Jeremy as Gimli.

[Morthoron]

If Tolkien weren't already dead, this thread would have killed him.

[Uruk's Bane]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

If Tolkien weren't already dead, this thread would have killed him.

Agreed.

[Inziladun]

This thread is having the effect of giving me great relief that no TV series is in the works, or will be in the foreseeable future. It's enough that I had to endure Warrior Princess�������™ Arwen. The last thing I need to see is Brokeback Mirkwood.

[Forlong the Fat]

Originally Posted by Inziladun

This thread is having the effect of giving me great relief that no TV series is in the works, or will be in the foreseeable future. It's enough that I had to endure Warrior Princess�������™ Arwen. The last thing I need to see is Brokeback Mirkwood.

In all seriousness I don't know why you would assume that someone would add sex in a tv series. They didn't do that in the movies and they were a spectacular success.

But you must agree with me that Ron Jeremy would make a pretty good Gimli. At least give me that.

[Uruk's Bane]

Originally Posted by Forlong the Fat

In all seriousness I don't know why you would assume that someone would add sex in a tv series. They didn't do that in the movies and they were a spectacular success.

But you must agree with me that Ron Jeremy would make a pretty good Gimli. At least give me that.

Wait, I thought you were the one advocating adding sex and messing with relationships?

[Inziladun]

Originally Posted by Forlong the Fat

In all seriousness I don't know why you would assume that someone would add sex in a tv series. They didn't do that in the movies and they were a spectacular success.

TV is a different medium. For success in today's market, it's thought that a show must be "edgy" and "raw" to compete. I can't see a gentle, family-oriented retelling of LOTR gaining much traction.