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#1 |
Regal Dwarven Shade
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
Posts: 3,593
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By: Kuruharan, son of Khoreth, Underground
Lorien - The Arda Cup…an exciting extravaganza celebrating the way sport can bring the world together or a vehicle of debauchery for footballers and those who mooch off of them? As many of you are no doubt completely unaware, the ravages of cultural rot in our society were set to new lows during the last Cup by such names as Coleen Balrog #4 (wife of Balrog #4), Cheryl Ancalagon (wife of Ancalagon), and the raunchy arch-diva herself Victoria “Rich Parsley” Sauron (who needs no introduction). But never fear, ladies and gentledwarves, The Underground is here and our cracked reporters have brought to light shocking allegations of uncontrolled shopping sprees, wild parties and unlicensed balloon stands that raged throughout the course of last year’s Cup. Indeed, during last year’s Cup one alcohol fueled international shopping binge ultimately spanned 8 nations, cost 3 million gold, 5 dead and 26 wounded. Over the course of this spree The Underground has learned Coleen Balrog #4 bought a pair of sunglasses so large she toppled over when she put them on and Cheryl Ancalagon had to buy a handbag so enormous it required a dozen Haradrian slaves to carry…all for the purpose of holding Coleen’s sunglasses. But most shocking of all is the charge that during last year’s championship match Victoria “Rich Parsley” Sauron ran a charity juice stand that cost so much money to operate her husband Sauron had to take out a mortgage on Cirith Ungol. One of our reporters recently questioned Sauron regarding these allegations. He had this to say: Sauron: Who are you and what are you talking about?! I’m not married! I’ve never heard of a “Rich Parsley” and I’ve never taken a mortgage out Cirith Ungol! You’ll be hearing from my lawyers! Clearly a man hopelessly lost to love and in the deepest depths of denial about the costs of his wayward spouse’s wasteful lifestyle. Will such decadence lead to Sauron and his Wilderland squad losing their chance at the Arda Cup? Only time will tell.
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...finding a path that cannot be found, walking a road that cannot be seen, climbing a ladder that was never placed, or reading a paragraph that has no... |
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#2 |
Beloved Shadow
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GROUP A Doriath Himring Shire-Bree United Tirion GROUP B Anduin Esgaroth Misty Mts Wilderland GROUP C Angband Angfauglith Hithlum The Downer GROUP D Barad-Dur Eregion Eriador Gondor GROUP E Mordor Nargothrond The Forest Tol In Gaurhoth GROUP F Mithrim Numenor Tol Eressea Westernesse GROUP G Beleriand Gondolin Pelori Valinor GROUP H Dunharrow Lothlorien Minas Morgul Minas Tirith Rosters Anduin GK Fram DF Frumgar DF Rumil DF Orophin MF Falastur MF Calimehtar MF Durin MF Leód MF *Beorn FW Telumehtar FW Earnil II Angband GK **Ungoliant DF Drauglin DF Balrog #1 DF *Balrog #2 DF **Morgoth MF Balrog #3 MF Ulfang MF *Tilion FW Telvildo FW Thuringwethil FW *Ancalagon Angfauglith GK Huor DF Rochallor DF Balrog #4 DF *Balrog #5 DF **Fingolfin MF Rían MF Azaghål MF Ecthelion FW Gwindor FW *Maeglin FW *Gothmog Barad-Dur GK Ohtar DF Fellbeast #1 DF Nazgul #1 DF Gothmog II DF Anarion MF Shagrat MF Fellbeast #2 MF Mouth MF Cirdan MF *Gil-galad FW Isildur Beleriand GK Halmir DF Bregor DF Daeron DF Handir DF Gamil Zirak MF Nellas MF Telchar MF Aegnor MF Belegund MF Angrod FW Marach Doriath GK **Huan DF Carcharoth DF Elwe DF *Beren DF **Melian MF Mablung MF Luthien MF *Eol MF *Hurin FW Beleg FW **Turin Dunharrow GK Aldor DF Hama DF Brego DF Snowmane DF Theoden DF Walda MF Folca MF Thengel MF Brytta MF Theodred FW Helm Eregion GK **Elrond DF Asfaloth DF Valandil DF Erestor DF *Celebrimbor MF Lindir MF Elladen MF Figwit MF Elrohir MF *Glorfindel FW *Earendil Eriador GK Arvedui DF Tom DF Valandur DF Bert DF Amlaith MF Argeleb MF Halbarad MF Aranarth MF Barrow-Wight MF *Aragorn FW Araphor Esgaroth GK Brand DF Mayor DF Balin DF Thorin MF Galion MF Attercop MF Bain MF Tomnoddy MF Girion FW Dain FW Bard Gondolin GK *Rog DF Penlod DF Galdor DF Meleth DF Thorondor MF Elenwe MF Salgant MF Idril MF *Turgon FW Duilin FW Egalmoth Gondor GK *Ecthelion II DF Romendacil DF Felarof DF Boromir I MF Folcwine MF Narmacil MF Ostoher MF Turambar MF *Arwen FW Eldacar FW Eorl Himring GK Maglor DF Uldor DF Amrod DF Ulwarth DF Amras MF Borlach MF Ulfast MF Borthond MF Bór FW Fingon FW *Maedhros Hithlum GK Imlach DF Baragund DF Lorgan DF Algund DF Galdor MF Gloredhel MF Gundor MF Aradan FW Celegorm FW Curufin FW Hador Lothlorien GK *Galadriel DF Amroth DF Shadowfax DF Celeborn DF **Gandalf MF Gimli MF Nimrodel MF Haldir MF Boromir II MF Legolas FW **Feanor Minas Morgul GK Earnur DF Nazgul #2 DF Angamaite DF Sangahyando DF *Nazgul #3 MF Fuinur MF Herumor MF King Dead FW Beruthiel FW Castamir FW *Witch King Minas Tirith GK Cirion DF Grimbold DF Firefoot DF Denethor II DF Beregond MF Elfhelm MF Imrahil MF Eowyn MF Faramir FW Tarondor FW Eomer Misty Mts GK Caradhras DF Chief Wolf DF Landroval DF Meneldor DF Watcher MF Great Goblin MF William MF Narvi MF Saruman MF *Durin’s Bane FW Azog Mithrim GK Tuor DF Sador DF Brodda DF Gethron DF Grithnir DF Annael MF Aerin MF Morwen MF Asgon MF Nienor FW Andróg Mordor GK Silent Watcher DF Gollum DF Nazgul #4 DF Radbug DF *Nazgul #5 MF Gorbag MF Snaga MF Nazgul #6 MF Grishnakh MF *Nazgul #7 FW Shelob Nargothrond GK Barahir DF Baran DF Guilen DF Gelmir DF Arminas MF Mim MF Gildor MF Emeldir MF *Glaurung MF Finduilas FW Beor Numenor GK Silmariën DF Tar Meneldur DF Tar Cirytan DF Tar Calmacil DF *Ar Zimrathan MF Tar Elendil MF Ar Gimilzor MF Tar Ancalimon MF Vardamir MF *Tar Miriel FW Tar Surion Pelori GK *Manwe DF Gwaihir DF Nahar DF Nienna DF *Namo MF Vana MF Orome MF Irmo MF Ilmare MF *Varda FW Eonwe Shire-Bree United GK Butterbur DF Harry DF Bill DF Lumpkin DF Ferny MF Gerontius MF Frodo MF Samwise MF Pippin FW Bandobras FW Merry The Downer GK King Bus DF Soap Pope DF Burnt Bert DF Philip Hampton MF John Fillis MF Morsul MF Lalwende MP MF Saucepan Man MF Peter Hampton MF Hookbill FW Alien The Forest GK Old Man Willow DF Haleth DF Fimbrethil DF Treebeard MF Goldberry MF Quickbeam MF Skinbark MF River Woman FW Saeros FW Thranduil FW *Bombadil Tirion GK Orodreth DF Elemmakil DF Elemmírë DF Caranthir DF *Aule MF Enerdhil MF Finarfin MF Mahtan MF *Finrod FW Aredhel FW Finwe Tol Eressea GK Amandil DF Tar Aldarion DF Osse DF *Salmar DF *Ulmo MF Voronwe MF Lindo MF Eriol MF Earwen MF Elwing FW Uinen Tol In Gaurhoth GK ShastaWolf DF KuruWolf DF NilpWolf DF *SkipWolf MF GaladWolf MF SallyWolf MF InzilWolf MF *PhantomWolf FW GwathWolf FW NerWolf FW *NogWolf Valinor GK Ingwe DF Indis DF Vaire DF Tulkas MF Nessa MF Este MF Yavanna MF Olwe FW Nerdanel FW *Miriel FW Arien Westernesse GK *Tar Atanamir DF Tar Palantir DF Elendil DF Malbeth DF **Tar Telperien MF Hyarmendacil MF Mardil MF Ar Adunakhor FW Tar Minastir FW Elros FW Ar Pharazon Wilderland GK Grimbeorn DF Great Warg DF Alatar DF Oropher DF *Pallando MF Radagast MF Bolg MF Khamul FW Smaug FW *Sauron FW Scatha
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