Itaril

[Alcuin]

Why doesn’t Hollywood just dispense with all this pretense and do what it really wants to do – make Bored of the Rings instead. From “Of the Finding of the Ring”,

As is told in the volume previous to this hound, Valley of the Trolls, Dildo Bugger set out one day with a band of demented dwarves and a discredited Rosicrucian named Goodgulf to separate a dragon from his hoard of short-term municipals and convertible debentures. The quest was successful, and the dragon, a prewar basilisk who smelled like a bus, was taken from behind while he was clipping coupons...

Surely this is more along the lines of “modern cinema”. Sex sells. So get rid of all this nonsense about “sticking to the story”, and let them … hm … dress it up a bit. Or sell out to Disney. Whatever makes the biggest buck in the shortest time.

After all, how many Hollywood producers have ever actually read a book? Considering the quality of their productions, how many of them actually read? Their lawyers – they can read, of course, but … stick to a story? That’s so gauche! Bring out the voluptuous elf-maidens! Bring out your dead!