Five Word Story

[Tuor in Gondolin]

So they decided on pink since Haldir LOVED shocking pink.
But Haldir also loved sparkles when singing "Goodbye Yellow Brick..."
But he wished he could sartorially dress better than Galadriel
who was not happy with Sauron's sexy eyelash(es?) from E-Bay;
so she conspired to steal Varda's eyelashes after returning to
Lothlorien and stealing Galadriel's dress.

This really ticked off Varda, who was counting on a sexy gown for the
party Manwe held for the Valar every last Twelvtyth of Foreyule. Fortunately the
Valar drinking game consisted of guzzling large quantities of wine everytime
someone said "Gollum's weird strange-coloured weeds" or
"weedy Gollum's strangely weird weeds".

While at the party their habbit to sniff all the time made Varda dizzy and sleepy
(Sniff sniff yawn yawn Varda). After pouring antihistamine laced merlot nothing
made sense to them, especially how Gollum and Galadriel had managed to have
offspring who built the Prancing Pony and smoked pipe weed often.

But Manwe's hangover next day had a very interesting effect when Varda got disgusted
and said, "I want a divorce"!!! Which gave Melkor an idea that Gollum could possibly be
Varda's new love interest. But Galadriel got jealous and told Celeborn that she fancied Gimli

...and was eloping to Aman.