does Frodo truely find the peace he deserved in the grey havens?

[Galin]

Part of the source in question might be letter 246 (drafts, dated 1963, to a Mrs Elgar), where Tolkien notes that both Frodo and Bilbo still bore a mark of the One, and:

(...) 'Alas! there are some wounds that cannot be wholly cured', said Gandalf (III 268) -- not in Middle-earth. Frodo was sent or allowed to pass over Sea to heal him -- if that could be done, before he died. (...) So he went both to a purgatory and to a reward, for a while: a period of reflection and peace and a gaining of a truer understanding of his position in littleness and in greatness, spent still in Time amid the natural beauty of 'Arda Unmarred', the earth unspoiled by evil.' (...)

JRRT, Letters

Full context is best. Much later in 1971, JRRT wrote to Roger Lancelyn Green (in part):

'As for Frodo or other mortals, they could only dwell in Aman for a limited time -- whether brief or long. The Valar had neither the power nor the right to confer 'immortality' upon them. Their sojourn was a 'purgatory', but one of peace and healing and they would eventually pass away (die at their own desire and of free will) to destinations of which the Elves knew nothing.'

Anyway, I think letter 246 is maybe part of the source of what you read online.

[Orofarne]

Very interesting about the whole purgatory thing, I knew Tolkien was Catholic, but I guess I never thought about it much.
But about the ending in the movie. I loved how, in the books, every loose end was tied up, and you get this wonderful sense of fulfillment after you turn the last page (followed by a sense of disapointment as you realize there's no more). Modern endings are so awful these days, don't you think?
But if Frodo moved to Erresea, doesn't that show that he's not quite healed? It seems to me that Tolkien saw the sea as this good and powerful force, and if Frodo needed the sea, it almost proves how ill he is. Never mind, I'm probably entirely insane by now.

[Inziladun]

Originally Posted by Orofarne

But if Frodo moved to Erresea, doesn't that show that he's not quite healed? It seems to me that Tolkien saw the sea as this good and powerful force, and if Frodo needed the sea, it almost proves how ill he is. Never mind, I'm probably entirely insane by now.

Frodo having lingering physical and spiritual ills from his experience with the Ring was the reason he passed "over Sea". The Undying Lands were his only hope of peace, until the end of his natural life.
The Sea itself is important in two ways: it is the 'gateway' for the Elves to find their way to the Blessed Realm, and it is also the place in which through Ulmo the Vala, the Music lives on, and can be heard clearly by those who listen.

[Puddleglum]

Originally Posted by Galin

Part of the source in question might be letter 246 (drafts, dated 1963, to a Mrs Elgar).

Thanks for posting the ref to L246, Galin. I had intended to bring that one up, but you beat me to it <g>.

Another related point that underlies Tolkien mythos is that Eru (The One) doesn't "fix" evil and the hurts that come from it by "rolling things back to the way they were" (by "undoing" the evil) - but RATHER by redressing the hurt, by making a new thing that is, in the end, better and richer and more beautiful than the old, but which would not have been but for the presence of the evil. Thus, for example:

In Silmarillion/Ainulindale Eru/Illuvatar says

Thou, Melkor, shalt see that no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me, nor can any alter the music in my despite. For he that attempteth this shall prove but mine instrument in the devising of things more wonderful, which he himself hath not imagined.

And, later, after the rebellion of Feanor

when the messenger decalred to Manwe ... the last word of Feanor: that at the least the Noldor should do deeds to live in song for ever, he said ... Thus even as Eru spoke to us shall beauty not before conceived be brought into Ea, and evil yet be good to have been.' But Mandos said: 'And yet remain evil.'

We are not told the details of what the "redressing" of his hurts would be for Frodo, but we are left with at least two glimpses or hints.

1) As Galin quoted from letter 246, Frodo was going to a place where he would be living with Eldar who had personally conversed and learned much wisdom direct from Eru's vice-regents in Middle Earth (The Valar). A place where the people had many arts and skills far exceeding those of the (relatively) barbarous folk of Middle Earth, and yet were intensely in love with nature (much as the Hobbits) {this from recountings in "The Book of Lost Tales" and other places}.

2) Hobbits, Tolkien makes clear (also in letter 246 and elsewhere), are of man "kind" and share the essential trait of men - the "Gift of the One to Men" - that, unlike Elves, they are not bound within the circles of Ea but, at death, go beyond it to where Eru himself dwells. About this Aragorn comforts Arwen (and this would be a comfort to Frodo as well)

Behold! We are not bound forever to the circles of the world, and beyond them is more than memory.

That flows from the essential "Estel" (hope) that underlies LOTR and Sil - That even tho the "One" is not personally present "in" Ea, he is still providentially involved in its history and in the beings he made to inhabit it. And, THEREFORE, that he will, in some manner, redress all hurts of his creatures and his creation.

He that attempteth {to thwart my/Eru's plan} shall prove but mine instrument in the devising of things more wonderful, which he himself hath not imagined.

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by fortheshire

but im still torn inside because ive read some things online about life in the grey havens. im not sure where the writing came from, but it seemed like tolkiens, and it was about how frodo still wasnt free from the ring completely in the heaven-like place. he still was going through some torment and couldnt get over the pain, i couldnt stand that.
is this really in the story? or is it something made up?

Well, fortheshire, firstly, as has already been mentioned, the Grey Havens refers to the harbour– Frodo didn't, in fact, stay there. Secondly, what you're describing sounds to me like it might be just fan-fiction. You don't happen to have a link, do you?

[Galin]

Yes, my guess is that the source is Tolkien's letter, and only generally here; and that the Grey Havens are being mixed up with Tol Eressea (which happens enough it seems). But Man-maiden has a point that it's tough to say what's 'made up' here with respect to some things online, which is vague of course.

I don't read fan fiction, but what I can say is that it 'comes from Tolkien' that Frodo and Bilbo are still marked in some measure by the One, and seek healing Oversea.

What some fan might have made out of that...