The Bad LotR Fan Fic Drinking Game

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

Ah well, I know of one dreadful LotR Suethor who also writes... Hamlet fanfic!

(Yes, the Prince of Denmark does have raven hair and emerald eyes. Why do you ask?)

There's another who specialises in Jane Austen-Tolkien crossovers... rewrites of Emma and Pride and Prejudice set in Minas Tirith.

Alas! Then truly, there is nothing new under the sun! Or if I may quote Umberto Eco completely and utterly out of context (which is appropo for this pompously smirking venture):

The property of knowledge, as a divine thing, is that it is complete and has been defined since the beginning, in the perfection of the Word which expresses itself to itself...There is no progress, no revolution of ages, in the history of knowledge, but at most a continuous and sublime recapitulation.

Let us then recapitulate, my Mary-Sues, for we cannot hope to get any odder than what has come before us. We are standing on the shoulders of eccentric giants, who have, unfortunately, sunk neck deep in the tar pits. Be sure to wear your play clothes, and leave your Sunday-go-to-meeting best at home. This could get dirty.

*The Dark Elf puts on his wading boots and slogs off through the muck and mire*