The Bad LotR Fan Fic Drinking Game

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

12. Add local colour! Your character's conversation should be peppered with words and phrases from the Elvish languages of Middle-earth– such as Grey Company Elvish, Spanish, Italian, Pig Latin, Backwards English and Cat-Walking-on-the-Keyboard.**

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I like this idea - is there a fixed convention here - German for Rohirric? Latin for Quenya, French for Sindarin Langue d'Oc for Adunaic? Or as our whimsy takes us?

Of course characters should engineer otherwise entirely reduntant scenes for the chance to say "Elen sila lumenn omentielvo" or "Ai na vedui ..."

[Nerwen]

Of course. And no, there's no fixed convention. In fact, if possible, everyone should do something different.

However–

21. Phrases in Middle-earth languages (real or fake) should be accompanied by a translation in brackets. This translation must be wrong.

[Ibrîniðilpathânezel]

Codicil to 21: the inaccurate translation in brackets must accompany EVERY use of the word, and should include Sin., Q., or the apparently scholarly abbreviation for whatever language it's supposed to be.

I have seen this so many times, I've occasionally been tempted to chuck my laptop across the room in sheer... I don't know what, frustration or craziness come closest. But no bad fanfic is worth that.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Morthoron, Mithalwen, I quite agree that you should have the freedom of setting up your own original story rather than having to fit into an existing one. My idea was more wishful thinking than anything else, my Elvish nostalgia for the glories of days gone by...

As to the location, you'd best write a PM to piosenniel, who can advise you on all matters RPG.


edit: It's so much fun to read all of your highly amusing ideas - are non-participants allowed to contribute? If so, I would like to add a couple of codicils:

to #6: This fact does not stop your character from romantic involvement with every other appropriate or inappropriate character that comes her/his way.

to #7: The weapon must have a name, preferably one that shows its noble lineage and notable history.

to Mithalwen's idea about pets: In addition to other accompanying animals, each character must have an equine companion with special gifts - a unicorn, or at the very least, a speaking horse, if not an even more exotic beast - to ride.