The Bad LotR Fan Fic Drinking Game

[Mithalwen]

Well in the small hours I was wondering if it could be rendered into cod-Elvish as a name.... Sereluin Orbar was the best I could do with out waking up enough to consult reference works...

[Morthoron]

Well, so far our intrepid band of questers in search of ultimate insipidity consists of Nerwen, Mithalwen, Kitanna, Lalaith and Morthoron.

I feel it necessary at this juncture to perhaps discuss the overall project a bit. Perhaps a title? I know most writers actually start the story before coming up with an apt title, but maybe a bassackwards approach would be more appropriate given the specious material in which we shall delve.

With a title we can at least post a discussion thread in the Mirth section (I guess that's where we'll end up), and start outlining the story a bit. Here's some ideas to start:

The Melancholy Mists of Mirkwood (A tragic love story)

With Fronds Like This, Who Needs Anemones? (A tale of the Corsairs of Umbar)

Desire in the Shire (A hobbit romance)

Riverdale High School (No, not with Archie and Jughead, merely a tale of teenage elven angst with Rivendell misspelled)

The Slimarillion (A Middle-earth short story)

To Kill a Crebain?

Drogo Copperfield?

The Brothers Khazâd ai-mênu!?

Aragorn and Old Lace?

Fingolfin's Wake?

The Charge of the Wight Brigade?

Bag-end Revisited?

Okay, cut me off...too much coffee today.

[Lalaith]

Riverdale High School

Ah, Morthoron, not only is your list most excellently hilarious, but you are clearly on my wavelength.

I had you see already envisaged a character: an elven teen named Sharpairien. She is the spoilt, self-centred yet somehow inexplicably lovable youngest daughter of Elrond (from his second marriage to a much younger she-elf) and alone among the Peredhil she boasts glossy auburn locks, a smattering of cute freckles and amber eyes. Her best friend is a camp and gossipy elfboy named Daemian.

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Lalaith

Ah, Morthoron, not only is your list most excellently hilarious, but you are clearly on my wavelength.

Thank you. The same wavelength? We must be both getting the same signals from outer space. Prepare! The Mother Ship is coming!

Originally Posted by Lalaith

I had you see already envisaged a character: an elven teen named Sharpairien. She is the spoilt, self-centred yet somehow inexplicably lovable youngest daughter of Elrond (from his second marriage to a much younger she-elf) and alone among the Peredhil she boasts glossy auburn locks, a smattering of cute freckles and amber eyes. Her best friend is a camp and gossipy elfboy named Daemian.

Excellently derivative and unbelievable!

Originally Posted by Kitanna

Would this mean Galadriel and Arwen will be doing old men like Gandalf in for their own good?

I can see Cary Grant as an urbane send-up of Aragorn, circa the late 1930's, early 40's.

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

I can see Cary Grant as an urbane send-up of Aragorn, circa the late 1930's, early 40's.

If only...

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Kitanna

Would this mean Galadriel and Arwen will be doing old men like Gandalf in for their own good?

But Riverdale High School sounds like it could bring the most angst to this venture.

Decisions, decisions... Is there anyway we can combine the two?

Originally Posted by Lalaith

I had you see already envisaged a character: an elven teen named Sharpairien. She is the spoilt, self-centred yet somehow inexplicably lovable youngest daughter of Elrond (from his second marriage to a much younger she-elf) and alone among the Peredhil she boasts glossy auburn locks, a smattering of cute freckles and amber eyes.

So we're sisters!

But I was planning on having glossy auburn locks! Now what will I do?

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

So we're sisters!

But I was planning on having glossy auburn locks! Now what will I do?

Well, you can offset the similarity by having violet eyes, and Lalaith can have cerulean orbs.

[Mithalwen]

Oh I was hoping for Bag-End revisited ... with Elrond as Lady Marchmain and Elladan as Bridey Elrohir as Sebastian. Aragorn would of course have the Charles Rydey role. Eomer would be Boy Mulcaster and Eowyn his sister whose name escapes me ..... I may now have to do this for the "Tolkien by other authors" thread

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

Oh I was hoping for Bag-End revisited ... with Elrond as Lady Marchmain and Elladan as Bridey Elrohir as Sebastian. Aragorn would of course have the Charles Rydey role. Eomer would be Boy Mulcaster and Eowyn his sister whose name escapes me ..... I may now have to do this for the "Tolkien by other authors" thread

Well, we have one vote for a Middle-earth parody presented in the mode of Brideshead Revisited (in this case, Bag-end revisited), and we also have a vote for Riverdale High School (teenage Elven angst).

I have given thought to the Fingolfin's Wake title and considered that we might do it in a stream of consciousness (or in this case unconsciousness) style a la James Joyce. We won't require a plot per se, nor will we need characters (or at least, characters that make sense from one page to the next)... just a potpourri of allusions, metaphors, multi-level puns, neologisms, dangling participles and Freudian dream sequences.

No one will understand a thing we're tallking about; therefore, we shall appear deep.
And we are, are we, swoping priggily the prof's Middangeard, barrowing Mahtan's spark as the espiritu flammula did on a once ago.

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

Aragorn and Old Lace?

Would this mean Galadriel and Arwen will be doing old men like Gandalf in for their own good?

But Riverdale High School sounds like it could bring the most angst to this venture.