The Barrow Downs Newspaper - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Volo · 06-12-2008, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Groin Redbeard

Hey, Hookbill! You spelled Mr. Marx's name with a C, it's suppose to be a K!

Ha! That means Rune's enterprise is a fraud!

Morthoron · 06-12-2008, 04:57 PM

Rune -- here's a catchy slogan for your next advertisement:

"At Runes', nobody can beat our meat!"

Rune Son of Bjarne · 06-13-2008, 07:20 PM

I feel that it is my duty to inform you that Hookbill had nothing to do with the wrong spelling of Karl Marx's name.

It was the way I comisioned the advert. . .I thought it would increase my meats apeal to tolkien fans.

You see in the Danish LotR books (Ringenes Herre) names such as Cirdan and Celeborn is spelled Kirdan and Keleborn, this is so in order to make it easier for Danes to understand how it should be pronounced.

I simply figured that by writting Carl Marx rather than Karl Marx it would bring a touch of middle-earth to the product and thus increas the interest from Downers.

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-15-2008, 05:00 PM

Special thanks to TheGreatElvenWarrior for the second story of doom.

Sorry about the main story... I couldn't resist.

This week, Mr. Phantom reads some disturbing news...

Next week, there may be cake... But probably not...

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 06-15-2008, 05:32 PM

I love it! Alien says all sorts of things to make the Phantom very mad and distressed! How funny. The perfect answer to the question "Was it something I said?"

satansaloser2005 · 06-15-2008, 05:48 PM

Heh. Always a good giggle. Thanks for another great issue, Hookbill. *chuckles*

Morthoron · 06-15-2008, 06:31 PM

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Dear Sir, Madam or Cat:

I must protest in the most strenuous possible terms the article entitled 'Cereal Box Discovered Having Affair With Toaster'. The very thought of it is absurd! Look, in my part of the country ready-to-eat breakfast foods do not mingle with electric kitchen utensils. It just is not done! You have gone beyond the bounds of decency reporting an odd bit of decadent, amoral and obviously deviant behavior that is certainly outside the realm of culinary taste.

Oh yes, I can hear the jokes now: 'What, were they caught spooning?' or 'Oh, she was a real Pop-tart alright!' and so on and so forth, thus trivializing the monogamous and God-given commandments rendered unto food groups and their associated utensils. Steak knives cut meat, butter knives butter bread, toasters make toast, bowls and spoons are made for cereal -- this is the bedrock and foundation of a civilized pantry!

What next, electric blenders furtively mixing with salmon? The silver tea set slumming with pork and beans? Bananas lasciviously stripping for the can-opener? It shall be perversion in the pantry! Clammering in the cupboards! Chaos in the kitchen! We shall be knived, scooped and forked before the morning coffee percolates! Cereal killers! Cereal killers and appliance abominations!

Sincerely yours,
Emma Little-Teapot
Short-on-Stout, Harrismehandle, Heresmespout Co.

P.S. Sorry for the outburst. Sometimes I get so steamed up, I just shout.

06-12-2008, 04:57 PM	#2
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,517	Rune -- here's a catchy slogan for your next advertisement: "At Runes', nobody can beat our meat!" __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.

06-15-2008, 05:00 PM	#4
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	102 Special thanks to TheGreatElvenWarrior for the second story of doom. Sorry about the main story... I couldn't resist. This week, Mr. Phantom reads some disturbing news... Next week, there may be cake... But probably not... __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-15-2008, 05:32 PM	#5
TheGreatElvenWarrior Mighty Quill Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Walking off to look for America Posts: 2,230	I love it! Alien says all sorts of things to make the Phantom very mad and distressed! How funny. The perfect answer to the question "Was it something I said?" __________________ The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.

06-15-2008, 05:48 PM	#6
satansaloser2005 The Sweetest Spoiler Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: from beneath you it giggles incessantly Posts: 5,789	Heh. Always a good giggle. Thanks for another great issue, Hookbill. chuckles __________________ "My heart always cowers behind the defense of my wit." Friendship is two pals munching on a well-cooked face together. Fenris bookworm.

06-15-2008, 06:31 PM	#7
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,517	LETTER TO THE EDITOR Dear Sir, Madam or Cat: I must protest in the most strenuous possible terms the article entitled 'Cereal Box Discovered Having Affair With Toaster'. The very thought of it is absurd! Look, in my part of the country ready-to-eat breakfast foods do not mingle with electric kitchen utensils. It just is not done! You have gone beyond the bounds of decency reporting an odd bit of decadent, amoral and obviously deviant behavior that is certainly outside the realm of culinary taste. Oh yes, I can hear the jokes now: 'What, were they caught spooning?' or 'Oh, she was a real Pop-tart alright!' and so on and so forth, thus trivializing the monogamous and God-given commandments rendered unto food groups and their associated utensils. Steak knives cut meat, butter knives butter bread, toasters make toast, bowls and spoons are made for cereal -- this is the bedrock and foundation of a civilized pantry! What next, electric blenders furtively mixing with salmon? The silver tea set slumming with pork and beans? Bananas lasciviously stripping for the can-opener? It shall be perversion in the pantry! Clammering in the cupboards! Chaos in the kitchen! We shall be knived, scooped and forked before the morning coffee percolates! Cereal killers! Cereal killers and appliance abominations! Sincerely yours, Emma Little-Teapot Short-on-Stout, Harrismehandle, Heresmespout Co. P.S. Sorry for the outburst. Sometimes I get so steamed up, I just shout. __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.

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