A paradise on Middle-Earth

[Gordis]

A paradise on ME? – But the place you would choose entirely depends on what you are.

For an Elf the paradise is certainly Lorien, a place made as much alike to Valinor as all the magic of Nenya had permitted. But is that a good place for humans? – hardly. The Rohirrim, Galadriel’s neighbors, deemed the Golden wood perilous and I don’t think it was unfounded. What happens to a mortal in this beautiful timeless realm? You stay there seemingly but for a few days – but in reality decades have passed unnoticed. You will waste your life in the Golden wood, living like in a dream where nothing really happens.

Rivendell is a tad better for us, mortals. Perhaps it is because Imladris was conceived by Peredhel, half-Elven. It is a place of lore and rest. Still it seems Elrond did meddle with Time somewhat, as Bilbo, for instance, had hard time keeping track of passing days. Then for all entertainment there is this singing and story-telling in the Hall of Fire that makes you so sleepy…. Day after day it might drive you crazy.

The Shire is a good place for an average 21 century human, peaceful and cheerful. But be prepared to eat eight meals a day, which might well ruin your waist-line. Also, won’t you feel a bit like Gulliver among the Lilliputians? I am not sure it is THAT pleasant to be almost twice taller than everybody else.

Rohan? Hmm, you may be fond of horses, but I guess you will miss the basic commodities of modern life.
Gondor is a good place, but be prepared to feel inferior to high-and-mighty Numenoreans. Also a view on Orodruin and the dark Shadow over the mountains might be unsettling. Worse still, if Mordor does attack while you are there.
I won’t even discuss Fangorn. You will run out of there in a few days, screaming.

If you are an orc, I would recommend Misty Mountains near Gundabad. In Moria there is a nasty big Barlog, while in Mordor or Isengard there will always be a Master eager to teach you proper orc manners with a whip.

If you are a wraith, head for Minas Morgul – you won’t find a better place in Middle Earth. Not only is it gorgeous, with its lofty tower, stunning statues, misty river and fields of white flowers, but it is as much attuned to us, wraiths, as Lorien is to Elves. Imlad Morgul is our paradise. I wouldn’t recommend the lonely Barrows of Cardolan, unless someone sends and binds you there. In this case, beware of an evil, unpredictable neighbor – Tom.

Hope that helps.