New Movie Script

[lothlorien]

I wrote a new part

Gandalf: Quick to battle and certain death everyone (Gandalf rides towards the outer defenses. And sees everyone is reluctant to do what he says)

Gandalf: What’s wrong with you people you act like you’ve never had an assault on Mina’s Tirith before

Soldier: They’re a bit down sir

Gandalf: Down. There isn’t time to be down we…I mean you have to fight

Random soldier: Sir maybe if you gave the men a pep talk

Gandalf: Right then now I know some of you might be a bit concerned about dying because we’re seriously outnumbered. Well you should be. but what you have to remember is that we’re the good guys we’re not meant to die

Boromir: I did

Gandalf: Well most of us. He’s the exception…wait he’s not even dead (Boromir coughs nervously)

Boromir: Um yes I am

Gandalf: Come on to the wall defend the wall. *points in the opposite direction* you know it’s over there

(the soldiers reluctantly get up and go to defend the wall, there are a couple of seconds with soldiers and civilians rushing about in confusion.)

Gandalf: Return to your posts!

(He reaches the outer wall, and sees the oncoming army.)

Gandalf: WHOA that’s a big army, how am I supposed to win against all that?. Oh well I’ll improvise

(The Gondorian soldiers begin hurling large rocks and pieces of buildings towards the Orcs with trebuchets.)

Gothmog: Stay where you are, we’ve seen scarier things at home.

Soldier: Watch out! (A rock flies towards the outer wall, flinging several people off of the wall.)

Gandalf: Oohh that had to hurt

Soldier: Down to the lower level. Quick!

(One flung rock comes hurtling towards Gothmog, who having taken dance classes earlier in life neatly leaps aside at the last minute. Suddenly he realized all the orcs were staring at him in disbelief, He spat on it and the battle continues as normal)

Soldier: Did you see what I did

Gandalf: Yes I give him a 9.5

Soldier: Right

(The Nazgûl on their fell beasts then arrive, and strike terror in the hearts of the Gondorian soldiers, by picking up random Men and dropping them. Pippin appears, holding his ears with his hands, to block out the sound of the Nazgûl cries.)

(Gandalf yells at the warring soldiers)

Gandalf: Don’t get discouraged now. Keep fighting strong, Stay where you are


Gandalf: Hold them back. Do not give into fear! Stay at your posts!

Gandalf: Oohh those things, hit those um what do you call them? Big things, they move

(The siege towers are nearly at the wall.)

Soldier: Siege towers

Gandalf: No although they’re big too

Soldier: (nervously) Uhh trolls

Gandalf: That’s it. trolls, hit them

(The archers aim for the indicated target, they fire and miss, a mass of arrows go awry and hits a random lot of orcs)

Gandalf: (to the archers) Not at the towers. Aim for the Trolls! Kill the Trolls!

(The siege towers connect with the walls, and Orcs begin swarming in. Gandalf sees Pippin coming down the stairs towards him.)

Gandalf: Fool of a took go back to the Citadel! Let me handle this

Pippin: They called us out to fight

(An Orc heads towards Pippin, and Gandalf heads it off, killing it.)

Gandalf: This is not the place for you, nor any hobbit. Do as I say

(The Wizard fights off several more Orcs, but one comes up behind him while he is busy fighting another Orc. Pippin stabs the Orc just as it is going to hit Gandalf.)

Gandalf turns and upon seeing the Orc lets out a loud girly scream)

Pippin: I killed it

Gandalf: Oh uh right ahem, Guard of the Citadel indeed. Now, back! Up the hill! Quickly! Quick!

(Huge creatures pull the massive battering ram, Grond, towards Minas Tirith. It is shaped like a giant wolf, with flames licking inside its mouth.)

Armies of Sauron: (chanting) Pizza, pizza, pizza (orc general scratches his head in confusion)

General: I don’t think that’s the right chant, try again

Armies of Sauron: (chanting) Grond! Grond! Grond!

General: Ah that’s the one

(Gandalf looks down from the wall with great concern.

Gandalf: Oh this can’t be good

Well that’s it from me the next part should be back with Frodo and Gollum