Middle-earth amusement park

[Elfchick7]

Thanks Child of the 7th Age, its always nice to read past threads. (Seriously)

To answer your question Sauron, Mordor would definitely have a constant thick fog - provided, of course, by perpetual fog machines. There would be a dead marshes boat ride with low skiff-type boats. There would be a Tower of Barad Dur a la Tower of Terror ride, with orcs and other minions of Sauron pictured throughout the beginning. A stairs of Cirith Ungol roller coaster. Also a Mount doom roller coaster which would end with almost plunging into the falming magma after gollum and the ring....

[Boo Radley]

Oh, yeah...
And we could even have a photo kiosk thingy where the kids can have their pictures taken, sitting on Sauron's lap!

Come on kiddies, sit yourself down with the Dark Lord for your very own personal photo.

And, of course, the kids are screaming and fighting with the poor sods dressed like Orcs who are only trying to get the kids seated on Sauron's lap. Their arms are covered with Band-Aids from all the bites they've gotten so far from the terrified tykes.

Sauron, by the way, is really named Phil and is a Divinity student who's just taking the job to get some extra cash for the next semester and he's only making minimum wage.
He spends most evenings drinking far too much to try to numb the low-grade migraine he has from little kids screaming in his ears and to dull the constant ache from all the kicks he gets in the shins and other tender spots.

And the kids... well, let's not even talk about the years of intense therapy they'll have to go through for this one ill conceived visit.

sniff... I hope you're all happy!

[Elfchick7]

haha. The Mordor section could have a suggested age limit a la "The Mummy" walk through at Uni. Stu.

[Elfchick7]

Hey, does anyone have good ideas for the Shire part of the "park"?

You know, I always wanted to fund a subdivision modeled after the cultures of the Free Peoples (i.e. good guys) of Middle Earth. Any ideas for that?

[Boo Radley]

I see those as cottage style hotel facilities, for people making an extended stay who would like something more than just a suite.

[Bêthberry]

There could be a delightful "hands on" play centre for childlren where, instead of learning how toilets or electricity or combustion engines work, children could get their hands muddy in the gardens and fields of The Shire. You know, they could learn how plants grow by seeding, weeding, feeding, picking off bugs and snails, maybe even harvesting a few plants.

It could be a 'no adults' centre, where parents would watch from the sidelines, maybe sitting with some pipeweed or ale as they observe their children learning about food in nature instead of pre-packaged in the green grocers. It would have to be fun, though. Any whiff that it was a 'learning experience' would ruin it.

It could be extended to a barn or chicken coop, too, so the kids can learn how to muck out hay and stuff. Maybe even a pig sty, where feeding of the animals is allowed. It always good for a laugh for city kids to learn how to milk cows, and shaking up fresh cow milk, in time to music of course, would demonstrate the creation of butter.

A bit of the bucolic side of the Shire, but nicely themed for the pre-school set.

[Elfchick7]

and several gardens(vegetable and decorative)!