Legolas's Green Leaf Blower

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by The Professor
There lie the woods of Lothlórien!' said Legolas. 'That is the fairest of all the dwellings of my people. There are no trees like the trees of that land. For in the autumn their leaves fall not, but turn to gold. Not till the spring comes and the new green opens do they fall, and then the boughs are laden with yellow flowers; and the floor of the wood is golden, and golden is the roof, and its pillars are of silver, for the bark of the trees is smooth and grey. So still our songs in Mirkwood say. My heart would be glad if I were beneath the eaves of that wood, and it were springtime!'

You know what this means, don't you? Seasons gone to pot? Global warming! In Lothlorien! Run for the hills!

Can't wait for the Roland Emmerich film "The Age After Tomorrow" featuring Pippin holed up in the Caras Galadhon library burning volumes of Elven tax law to keep warm.

Originally Posted by Alatar

And I think that Sauron, in the Third Age, released 'slip and fall' loyers/lawyers, and they looked to litigate whenever possible...why else did Galadriel and Elrond sail on the Last Ship? To escape judgment, methinks.

This hints at why Sauron encouraged the Orcs to chop down trees. Like a teacher that fears to take his or her class on a school trip for fear of a litigious parent suing because little Johnny has sprained a fingernail, Sauron was merely seeking to protect himself from greedy clients of no win no fee lawyers, seeking to exploit the slimy leaf strewn byways of Middle-earth?