Assigned to Mordor RPG

[Encaitare]

She was an old woman, and she'd spent a good fifty years in the barren wastes of Mordor. Ever since the ATM had selected her name, practically all she had thought about was getting out of the wretched place. But now that she was free to go, Wilhelmina Brochenbach had a few things to say to some of her comrades.

She made her way over to Fléin, whom she knew looked quite pleased somewhere under his beard. "Congratulations, my dear," she said, grinning as she noticed Mârtha Stewârt's hand-painted, virtually indestructible beaker poking out of his pack. "If you and Ketchupkin should ever find yourselves wanting some licorice and ferrety company, do drop in sometime in Ithilien." She gave the Dwarf a quick hug and bid him adieu.

Noticing Anakron standing off to the side staring wistfully off at Panakeia's retrating figure, she headed in his direction. "Hey, Anakron!" she called. His gaze flicked over to her as if he had been snapped out of a daze.

"Yes, Wilhelmina?"

"Well... let's just say I never liked you much. But I guess you're really not so bad. Maybe the Dweomer is an acquired taste... like sushi, or Wagnerian opera. After all, you did get us out of here. So, I suppose what I mean to say is 'thanks'."

"You're welcome," Anakron replied sincerely. "All in the Grand Anakronist's day's work."

Wilhelmina turned and strode towards the last person -- or creature, rather -- she wanted to talk to, but called over her shoulder, "And I hope it works out with Panakeia, too! Maybe you can talk her out of that horrid Pearie Ockcide Potion!"

Suddenly, there was a kamura in her face -- it was her kamuraorc, who was asking her--

"What awe woo going to do fiwst now that wou'we fwee to weave Mowdow?" he lisped.

"Er... I don't really know," she said puzzledly. She'd focused so much on the things that wouldn't be in the world outside Mordor that she'd nearly forgotten all the nice things that would be there. She could go walking in the forests of Ithilien, go to market whenever she wanted without nearly being run over by Orcs... maybe she'd even meet a nice gentleman, and they wouldn't have to go on dates to bowling alleys.

"I don't know what exactly I'll do first," she admitted to the kamuraorc, whom she found, like Anakron, she didn't entirely hate anymore either. "But I hope the reality show gets good ratings. It had better, after all these escapades. And if it does do well, you know there'll be remakes and an infinite number of seasons... Now if you'll excuse me..."

There was just one more to talk to.

"Yoo-hoo! Queenie!" she called loudly to the gigantic ape, who was still loitering about. "Would you mind terribly taking Mr. Swanky and myself for one last trip?" Queen Quon seemed to grin, and she picked Wilhelmina up and placed her (and Mr. Swanky) on her back.

"The Black Gate, please," Wilhelmina said happily. "One way."

[the guy who be short]

Fléin watched Wilhelmina ride away with a tear in his eye. What a wild time they'd had together! A brilliant woman...

He remembered, suddenly, that she hadn't given him an address. But no matter. He could track her down in Ithilien, couldn't he? Yes, definitely.

He felt somewhat dazed. After two years of this horrendous - but not quite godforsaken, as Alli had shown - place, here, finally, was his chance to leave. To leave it all behind. All of it.

He turned to face Ketchupkin. Was he really willing to leave the Dwarf? Ketchupkin betrayed no signs of emotion, or, perhaps, the emotion was lost beneath the thickly matted beard.

It was time. "Ketchupkin," Fléin started, before choking on his words. "Do... don't think me rash. But, if I am to leave, and even if I am not, I would like to know... I hope you do not think me rude... I think we know each other quite well now... Well..." he sputtered lamely.

"What I mean is..." he drew a deep breath, "are you male or female?"

Instead of the usual look of shock one would expect from a Dwarf asked such a question, there was only a gentle smile. They did know each other well enough. The simple reply seemed to Fléin the most beautiful word in the world. "Female."

"And," she continued, "I can see by the smile in your eyes...?" she let the question hang.

Fléin nodded. He didn't even need to say it. He just nodded. Male.

"I don't expect you to stay on my account."

Fléin nodded once again. "I don't intend to," he replied bluntly. "You're a wonderful person, Ketchupkin, really. If we had met under different circumstances... If you are ever freed from this evil land, come seek me. Seek me in the Orocarni, Ketchupkin."

She bowed her head in acknowledgement.

"You know... I'm not planning on leaving until tomorrow morning," he said.

Night fell. They decided, since it was his last night in Mordor, to do something very naughty together.

They stole Anakron's left shoe in the middle of the night.

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The next morning, Fléin awoke early. Ketchupkin walked by his side. He wanted to avoid Anakron, for obvious reasons; nor did he much like the idea of saying farewell to Panakeia, Valde, or Mardil. Well, he liked the idea of saying farewell to them - but not of actually communicating with them. They were hardly nice people, and sharing a week with them had done little to mellow his views. Alli and Sai though - nice girls.

They made their way to Alli's quarters. Fléin knocked.

Nothing happened.

He knocked again. Nothing.

She was probably tired from all the excitement of last night. Still, if he waited any longer, the others would wake up.

He left her a note.

Alli,

Thank you for explaining to me about you-know-what. It was really enlightening. I had a wonderful time with you. Thanks for everything. I won't forget you. If ever you should journey to the East, seek me in the Orocarni.

Fléin

He actually managed to catch Sai. She hugged him. He asked her to visit him in the Orocarni, she asked him to visit her in Gondor. And, having said his goodbyes, he trekked off, not to Ithilien in the West, but to the Eastern borders of Mordor with Ketchupkin at his side.

[Kath]

Still smarting slightly from Anakron's accusation that she had simply used others for her own gain, though privately she was quite proud of the fact that she had managed to complete all the tasks and gained enough points to escape Mordor without actuall doing a great deal of work, Sai headed off to say goodbye and find J Lo, hoping that this run on sentence would eventually end. Catching sight of her old kamura orc she moved toward him and his van, but ran into Fléin on the way.

"Come visit me sometime." Came the somewhat stilted voice of a member of a species that famously hated outward displays of emotion. Sai promised that she would visit and returned the invite. She wanted to find Alli to check that it was alright to return J Lo's bottom without her turning back into a werewolf, but the girl was nowhere in sight. She knocked on Alli's door and yelled the question through it, but received no more than a vague groan in answer. Shaking her head she shouted her goodbyes and left Alli to her sleep.

As she continued on toward the orc she heard a popping sound behind her, and turned to find that Mordor had done one of it's strange little things again. She looked over at Anakron but he seemed far too busy to have caused it. Shrugging she silently thanked whatever had done it, and walked over to the rather bemused looking J Lo, who had just appeared in a rather clichéd puff of smoke.

"Now that my task is done
Let the world no more shun
This woman they now all ignore
Return what I took before!"

She did a double take at the awful rhyme she had just come up with, but as she craned her neck she could see a gentle swelling beginning. She stood back and watched for a moment, but couldn't see any sign of wolvishness, so left her to it.

Heading back again she caught Anakron's eye and he nodded to her with a smile, letting her know that she could go. Sai still wanted to say goodbye to the rest of the Offending Party, she knew she'd miss each of them in some small way. Alli's mood swings, Fléin's accusations of lesbianism, Panakeia's insane products, but even so, it was time to leave.

Facing West, she went home.

[piosenniel]

----------- Finis -----------

~*~ To Elvenhome ~*~