Middle-Earth Football Tournament

[Orominuialwen]

Even if they had nothing else on their side, the Barrow-Downs team would always have their extremely stylish and attractive jerseys. (Please note that I didn't draw the jersey, just photoshopped the logo on to a picture I found.)

[Sleepy Ranger]

Art-strip for the World-Cup - Drawn and written by Valesse
Rohan vs. Moria - Drawn and written by Valesse

Riots in Angaband
-Arcticstorm

Riots erupted in the forums today after Angband was soundly defeated by the virtually unknown team from Gondor. Five fans were killed in the riots immediately after the game. The Center Referree, Boromir88, recieved many death threats from irate fans who are angry over the red carding of their best player. Boromir told us that this does not suprise him much, as he has gotten these threats before and nothing usually materializes, but he said he was a little worried about the arrows being shot at him by the Angband fans during the game. One fan when asked about his reaction to the red card told us that he does not know who they will turn to now. "Perhaps Gothmog," he said, "will fill Melkor's cleats in the next game." But the ref was not the only one recieving the agressions of the fans. The Angband keeper, Glaurung, had to be escorted out of the stadium for his own safety. It has also been said that the Gondor team bus had been completely vandalized and had various orcish writings on them. It has also been said that Faramir, the Gondorian forward who scored the winner, has been poisoned but the coach has denied the claims and said Faramir is in perfect health. The fans though are not willing to believe this since Faramir has not been seen since the match. In Northern Beleriand, the gondorian diplomats had to leave the area under assumed identities for their own safety. We even have reports that the embassy was completely destroyed.

Exclusive Interview with Turgon
Reporter- Rune son of Bjarne

Your Nation highly values your talent, so what do you think of playing for a team with such great cup traditions? Do you feel a lot of pressure each week?

There are only a handful of Nations who is good enough to compete for the title every world cup and Vinyamar is one of them. So I’m proud to be playing at this team. Having this pressure week in week out is a thrill.

Your next game is against Rivendell captained by Elrond, what do you make of his team?

Sure they are talented, no doubt about it, but overall they are just a bit to inexperienced to play at this level.

What do you see as the main difference between your teams?

As I said the experience will be the main factor, lets face it Elrond and his “baby’s” have only really been in this game since the second age. Where as all of my team learned all we know in the first age were there was “real” competition.

How have you prepared for this world cup?

Well as all know started of with a real hard pre-season at the training camp of Helcaraxë, witch really helped us getting close to each other. This was mostly because of the extreme cold, but it really helped us find the right players as those not fit for the game perished. It was however quite disturbing with all the attention from scouts and the media, so we decided to move our practise Nevrast where there are extreme good facilities. Especially our great hall in Vinyamar is good for indoors training and it allow us to train without being watched by spies from other teams.

Could you tell our readers what kind of games they should expect.

Vinyamar always has to win, so it will properly be an aggressive game, but the key to be consistent is a great defence witch the opponent will have difficult braking down. We have different solutions, it depends on the opponent. We can play with a taller central defender like Tuor of Vinyamar with my self and Glorfindel of Vinyamar on the sides. We can play just as well with me or Glorfindel in the central position, or also with the four-man defence.

Is it true you've got a footballing family as your sister plays for Gondolin?

Yes, she's a goalkeeper and she plays for Gondolin’s national team and has done so ever since she was picked for the Gondolin Under-1900 team. She's doing well and I'm proud of her.

Besides your selves who do you see as favourites to lift the cup?

I don’t see anyone beat us, but if I have to choose then it must be Gondolin

Thank you for your time Turgon and best of luck for your match.

Tensions Run High as Rohan, Moria Prepare
-Firefoot

The upcoming game between Rohan and Moria is shaping up to be well-matched game of great interest. Rohan is coming off a strong winning season while Moria, one of the most controversial teams in the tournament, has apparently put its rocky start behind it to take some major wins.

Théoden, Rohan’s captain, seemed confident of his team’s abilities. “We have a good team this year, and we’ve been getting better all season. I don’t see any reason why we can’t win this game. We all have high hopes for this tournament.” Éomer, a Rohan midfielder, seconded Théoden’s statement: “There’s nothing that the Moria team has that we can’t beat. It should be a good game.”

Of more public interest, however, has been the Moria team, an interesting mix of Dwarves, Orcs, and a Balrog. Many sports analysts have agreed that this combination was a large contributor to the team’s poor start this season. Nor is it an issue that has been wholly resolved, as evidenced in an interview.

Moria’s captain, Balin, denied that problems still existed. “We were having a tough time coming together as a team, but we’ve put that behind us and begun winning some games. There’s a lot of talent on this team, and we’re finally putting it all together.” He declined further comment.

Bill, Moria’s Balrog defender, had more to say on the matter, however. “The Dwarves are the ones who always get the credit on this team. It wouldn’t matter if I could play three times as well as the best of the Dwarves on this team; the only reason that I and the couple of Orcs are able to play is because of the fan following; the team wouldn’t be making any revenue if not for the populous Orcs of Moria.” No follow up was able to be gotten from Bill, as he was then needed by a pair of Dwarvish teammates.

Azog, one of the team’s Orcs, seemed reluctant to give any comment, though his disgusted attitude with the Dwarves could not be mistaken. “We’re finally coming together – the Dwarves are finally starting to realize that not all Orcs are just interested in killing each other or aimless pastimes like killing rats for fun. We’re avid strategists and athletes as well – not that many people remember our role in inventing the game of golf. The point is, we should be able to grind the Rohan team into the ground.”

Both teams’ attitudes can accurately be described with Éomer’s closing words: “Now for wrath, now for ruin, and a victorious goal scoring!”

The Result, The Reaction
-Hiriel

Fans across the whole of Middle Earth, Beleriand, and the Undying Lands have been chomping at the bit (some mearas quite literally so) for the first-ever middle-earth football tournament, and now that the first match results are in, it appears as if the excitement is just going to continue to build faster and hotter than an explosion of lava flying out of Mount Doom.

The kickoff match between The Barrow-Downs and Woodhall met with an almost unprecedented sight. The young eagle Landroval reported to us that on his way from the match, “The Downs looked positively radioactive. All the bonfires and unearthly shrieks (I suppose of joy) and such gave it this undulating glow. I mean, you’d of thought there was a bunch of pyro-crazed Brandybucks with lots of dry ice playing tag with banshees down there. I’m glad they won, but when you can hear the after-parties at ten-thousand feet, it’s really a bit much, you know.” The wights at the downs were unavailable or just too spooky for comment, but it’s generally assumed that they’re ecstatic about the end of the match, especially the phenomenal (ph)free kick made by Phantom in second half.

Across Middle-Earth in Gondor, celebrations got a little out of hand after the huge upset over Angband. The city guard reports, upon mustering to combat wonton tee-peeing of statues of Isildur in the first-circle, that one fourth of its reserves had been lost to the massive festivities. At least one suicide is reported in Minas Tirith by an Angbandian supporter, who, in utter despair, lit himself on fire and threw himself off the peak of Mindolluin. However, in Dol Amroth and Emyn Arnen the victory bashes were a little more sedate, though no less joyful. At the latter, huge green banners which read, “Show YOUR Quality”, in honor of the goal scored by town favorite Faramir, could be seen strung from wall to wall as people danced in the streets.

At Lothlorien, many mournful lays could be heard sung over the surprise defeat delt by Crickethollow. Lord Celeborn of Lorien, however, bore the loss with philosophy. “We have all eternity to analyse this one, learn from it, and come back. The hobbits? At the rate they eat, I doubt they have a fortnight. How long do those woodchucks live, anyway?” Supports of Crickethollow seemed unconcerned for their mortality, however, as drinking and dancing reached a peak sometime in the wee hours of the morning, when barmen had to call into Hobbiton for fresh supplies of spirits.

The festivities caused by Mordor’s pull-out victory over the Old Forest became so racous that it caused a company of Rangers to panic and mobilize at the crossroads. Mount Doom erupted in flame, and huge explosions of Orthanc fire could be seen being shot off from Minas Morgul as orcs and Olog-Hai celebrated. “We were very concerned,” Captain Malblung of the ranger company in question said. “We saw all that fire and heard so much screaming that we thought that it alone would rattle the black gate off its hinges. Some folk might poke fun at us marshalling over football results, but what if a company of drunken orcs decided to enjoy the win by beheading some tarks? It’s our job to be prepared for any type of violence and we take this sort of thing seriously.”

And in places bordering Tol-en-Gauroth, in the space of an hour earplugs became a hot commodity. A least four unfortunate villages have been completely wiped out due to post-match jubilation, reports indicate, and no one has any idea how many others have been damaged by the noise pollution from all the howling. The Tol-en-Gauroth team, lead by captain Sauron, were heard rile up the crowd exiting the stadium with the chant, “Takin’ it to the Misty Mountains, mortals!”, and lead to many rock piles being built up and subsequently smashed wherever supports of this wildly popular (and fast growing) club were celebrating.

Today's Fixtures

Game 1 - Moria vs. Rohan
Game 2 - Rivendell vs. Vinyamar
Game 3 - Valmar vs. Valimar
Game 4 - Mikrwoord vs. Erebor
Game 5 - Bree vs. Numenor
Game 6 - Doriath vs. Isengard
Game 7 - Fangorn vs. Alqualondë
Game 8 - Gondolin vs. Grey Havens

Tournament Happenings

Injuries - Thankfully none this week.

Cards -
Melkor (Angaband) recieved a red card and a 2 match suspension.
Dark Lord (Mordor) was given a yellow card.

Most Promising Player - Pippin (Shire) looked solid in the field and never failed to impress once he found his rhythm. After a shaky start he managed to find some motivation and propel his team to the lead.

Most Impressive Team - Both Gondor and Barrow-Downs have shown an excessive sense of team-work and both are in high spirits after their results of yesterdays matches. Though the chances of Gondor going through are minimal their win has definately left them with a feeling that they can go all the way. As for the home team, they were always a favorite.

Reader Response
We encourage our readers to send us letters about their favorite teams, players, matches, goals, referees or whatever else they think of.
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The results shall be up soon. Good job Valesse, Arctic, Rune, Firefoot and Hiriel, hope to see more from you. And if anybody else wishes to write for ME Footy Daily send me a message. Or you could always post random thoughts like the Phantom did.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Todays results, live from Middle-Earth Mirth Stadium.

Moria 1-0 Rohan

Moria dominated this game right from the start but they couldn’t work as a team. Each player tried to outshine his team mate while all Rohan could do was watch on. Moria got near scoring many time but due to the obstinacy of their players they never passed. Bill the Balrog took his time to do flashy moves while Balin took it upon himself to steal the ball from Bill. Finally it was a team effort that won the game for Moria, a high cross to Balin from Bill was headed to Azog who hit it home with a bicycle kick in the 67th minute. Since then all Moria did was pass the ball around the Rohan players which led them around in circles.
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Rivendell 1-0 Vinyamar

This was a pretty even match. Vinyamar dominated the entire first have until Glorfindel went beserk and shot from way out and nearly scored! But Turgon managed to clear it for a corner. It took a twin effort after Elrond sent the corner into the box as a high cross, Elladen headed it but the goalie pushed it away only to have an Elrohir that tripped over his own feet knock it in. The next half was docile and saw Rivendell defend beautifully to make up for their keeper’s non-existant keeping skills. Unluckily for Vinyamar the referee ended the match when they found themselves within scoring range. Rivendell won a partly undeserved victory.
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Valmar 0-0 Valimar

This was a heated contest. The teams were obviously bitter rivals but they showed a great deal of sportsmanship. The crowd alas did not share the same feelings of sportsmanship and there were many fights in the crowd until security kicked out half the crowd after which the remaining spectators remained silent. In the second half Manwe and Varda got into a shuffle with the referee who handed them each yellow cards and sent them merrily on their way. Both teams defenses shut the other out and the match ended as it began 0-0.
After the match the teams demanded they settle it in a penalty shoot-out which ended 3-5 in Valimar’s favor. The result however was taken as a draw.
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Mirkwood 1-0 Erebor

This was another upset in the opening stages of the tournament. Everyon expected Erebor to crush Mirkwood but a mis-timed tackle by Thorin gave him a yellow card and Mirkwood a free-kick. Legolas took the kick with precision, shooting hard and fast along the ground. It knocked the post and went in for a goal in 41st minute. Erebor were unable to mount a comeback and the injury of their goalie, Smaug, will leave them in trouble for next match.
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Bree 0-0 Numenor

This was an aggressive match. Bill Ferny injured Tar-Enclime and got himself a red card which was immediately followed by Elros receiving a red card and Butterbur being injured. It seems both teams will be missing two top players in the next match.
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Doriath 4-2 Isengard

Saruman started of by getting himself a yellow card and giving Doriath their first chance from 23m out. Beleg sent a rocket straight into goal scoring the first of their many goals. After this early 2nd minute goal there was a long and heated mid-field battle with no side giving an inch but finally Ugluk managed to lose his marker and breakaway, in the 37th minute, and chip one over Melian’s head for the goal. Melian was visibly shocked at this since she was considered to be one of the best keeper’s in the tournament. The rest of the half was a back and forth contest with Melian pulling of an impossible save, diving from the far left to far right to knock the ball away. The next half started of with Saruman getting himself a second yellow card and this time giving away a penalty which Beleg converted into their second goal. Then in the 57th minute Beleg found himself in front of an open goal and walked in with the ball, much to Isengard’s annoyance. Thingol sealed the match with a 73rd minute goal from the edge of the box. Isengard managed to score again in the 86th minute but that was just a consolation goal.
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Fangorn 0-0 Alqualondë

This match was a clash of defenses. Neither defense let the other team get too many shots on the goal and the goalkeepers barely had a role in the match. Fangorn came close to scoring after Quickbeam rushed through the defense and found himself 1 on 1 with the keeper only to shoot over the goal. The team captain, Treebeard, was later seen telling him not to be hasty in shooting next time. Of course there was no next time and the match ended in a draw.
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Gondolin 5-0 Grey Havens

This one was over before it began. A two goal lead at half-time was followed up by another two in the second half and one last goal in injury time. The goal scoring was quite spread out with Turgon scoring two and Tuor, Glorfindel and Ecthelion each scoring a goal. This was the perfect start of Gondolin’s world cup campaign. Grey Havens will need to put this match behind them and concentrate on improving their defense if they want to keep any hopes of winning.
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Oh and for 'Reader Response', PM me your letters. You can sign it in whatever name you wish. ^_^ Also feel free to comment on what you thought of the matches and let us know which was your favorite.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Alright, everyone whos been following the MEFWC I need some suggestions for you.

1) What do you think would be a suitable theme song for the MEFWC?
2) Who do you think should be the mascots?
3) Could you suggest some names for stadiums?
4) Who should we keep as referees?

PM me your answers so as not to spam the thread. Feel free to post your match opinions, reactions and stuff. But remember if you wish to write an article or interview or something else that isn't your OWN reaction. (Also if you have anything else in mind feel free to post it or talk to me on AIM or MSN) Send it to me so that I can organize it with the rest of MEFD, credit will go to your name for all you send in. Thanks.

[The Saucepan Man]

The first in an occasional series - starting, naturally, with Group A.

Old Forest
Player Coach: Tom Bombadil
Key Players: Tom Bombadil aka the Master (capt, striker), Goldberry (striker), The Barrow-Wight (defender), Old Man Willow (goalkeeper)

The Old Forest’s player coach is as old as the hills themselves and played in the inaugural championship, long before the original Dark Lord first pulled on an Angbad team shirt. Known simply as “the Master”, he was the first winner of the “Yellow Boots” trophy for most prolific scorer in the competition, and it was in his honour that the trophy was named. But, despite being the Eldest, he has most certainly not hung up those yellow boots yet. He is as fit and nimble as ever. As his strike partner Goldberry says: “Tom just never stops going in a match. He just is”. Goldberry herself is as skilled in her control of the ball as she is in her control of the weather, although she is generally considered to be best suited to wet conditions.

The Barrow-Wight (no, not that one) is a defender who can strike fear into the most courageous opposition and his ferocious tackles have been known to chill opposing players to the bone. Many an attacking striker has been manhandled ruthlessly by the Wight into one of his barrows, never to emerge.

Other than these outstanding players, however, there is little talent to speak of in this team and the remaining members of the squad tend to be somewhat static, reacting slowly to the game and often, therefore, being caught out of position. Even their talented goalkeeper, Old Man Willow, can sometimes be caught standing immobile in his goalmouth while a well-struck shot whistles past his branches.

Saucepan’s verdict: It would be nice to see the team go all the way, if only to see the Master enjoy a last hurrah. But with a lack of pace and quality in key positions, they are unlikely to go far.

Mordor
Coach: Morgoth
Key Players: Dark Lord (capt, striker), The Witch King (striker), Gothmog (attacking midfielder), Khamul (central defender), The Mouth of Sauron (goalkeeper)

Mordor has provoked one of the great controversies of the competition, having chosen as their coach the player/coach of the Angbad team. Speculation is rife as to what will be the outcome should these two teams meet in the competition which, given the strength of each squad, is fairly likely. There is also a rumour (unconfirmed) that their captain, the Dark Lord, is moonlighting as the captain of the Taur-im-Gaurhoth team. One thing is for sure. Nothing should be taken for granted with the Mordor team. They are all capable of employing the lowest of tactics to win.

While the Dark Lord himself is a prolific scorer, his skill lies in manipulating the ball by the force of his will. Being, when all is said and done, merely a large fiery eye ( ), he lacks the strength to hold the ball up and is prone to giving away possession in critical areas. Also, while he is a formidable captain, his first instinct is attack and he can often overlook defensive needs. Thus, his team often falls victim to diversionary tactics, allowing small agile players to sneak through with the ball and score. This may prove to be fatal should Mordor come up against a team like The Shire. However, he is ably supported in attack by the ruthless efficiency of the Witch King and the sheer brute strength of Gothmog (whose nature remain obscure).

The remainder of the first choice team is well-disciplined, being submissive to the will of their captain, although it is often said that their goalkeeper’s reputation is built on bluff and that he might well crumble when truly tested. Nevertheless, his alertness is amply supplemented by the strategic placement of Silent Watchers on either side of the goal mouth.

Saucepan’s verdict: While the team looks good on paper, it seriously lacks strength in depth. Other than the first choice players, the squad consists almost entirely of orcs, ill-disciplined at the best of times, and trolls, whose natural strength is counterbalanced by their compete inability to read a game. A few injuries or red cards (likely, given their tendency to employ underhand tactics) could spell disaster for this team.

Moria
Coach: Durin the Deathless
Key Players: Azog (striker), Balin (joint capt; midfielder), Bill the Balrog aka Durin’s Bane (joint capt; central defender), The Watcher in the Water (goalkeeper)

The media has already commented on the inherent racial tension in this team, consequent upon the coach’s decision to choose the best talent from the orcish, dwarvish and Balrog communities of Moria. Durin the Deathless, has attempted to address this issue by appointing Balin and Bill the Balrog as joint captains, but this has only served to mask the underlying problems and it looks like Bill could well live up to his title of Durin’s Bane as the competition progresses.

Azog is surprisingly well-disciplined for an orc, and a talented striker. But he is often hampered by his dwarvish team-mates’ reluctance to pass the ball to him. This, of course, is hardly suprising, given that Azog started out his career playing dwarf-ball in the back streets of Moria, an orcish variation of the game in which a severed dwarvish head is used instead of a football. Dynamic midfielder and joint captain, Balin, has managed to rise above this, but has as yet failed to instil the same team spirit in his fellow dwarves.

Saucepan’s verdict: Despite the barely concealed hatred between certain of its squad members, this team cannot be discounted. With the imposing Balrog Bill in central defence, spreading his shadow from one wing of the pitch to the other, and the talented and multi-tentacled Watcher in goal, they do not give away many goals.

Rohan
Coach: Eorl the Young
Key Players: Theoden (striker, capt), Eowyn aka Dernhelm (striker), Eomer (attacking midfielder), Elfhelm (midfielder), Wormtongue (winger), Erkenbrand (central defender), Gamling (central defender), Hama (goalkeeper)

Coach Eorl has mustered a tight and disciplined team in Rohan, well captained by the veteran striker Theoden. He, in turn, is ably assisted by Eowyn, who has a natural talent for unexpectedly appearing in great attacking positions and turning the tide with a well-placed shot. Eomer and Elfhelm contribute to a good attacking midfield, while the doughty Erkenbrand and Gamling provide a solid defence. One noted weakness, however, is their tendency to defend in the Deep, and they can be vulnerable when the opposing team gets players forward in numbers. Nevertheless, Hama “the Doorwarden” is a capable goalkeeper, known for his tenacity in refusing entry to even the most forceful of visitors to his goalmouth.

The team’s major vulnerability is the winger, Grima Wormtongue. Known for bad mouthing his team mates and with little talent at his disposal, questions have been asked how he earned his place in the team. It is rumoured that he has an unnatural hold over the captain and that his loyalties in fact lie elsewhere. Nevertheless, he can be a slippery customer and, despite his lack of strength and pace, has an ability to talk himself into dangerously influential positions.

Saucepan’s verdict: If they can make sure that Wormtongue is kept tightly under control, this team could be the surprise of the competition. When they are relieved of the need to concentrate on defending, they can certainly ride forth with great speed, sweeping all opposition before them. In any event, an attack-minded team that is exciting to watch.

Saucepan’s verdict on the Group: Despite Tom’s skill and verve, the Old Forest’s static mode of overall play means that they are unlikely to emerge from this group to progress further. And Moria, despite their miserly defence, will not be able to rise above inter-team disputes to make much headway. I see Rohan, with their exciting attacking line-up, scoring enough goals secure them second place in the group, with the formidable Mordor topping the table. Mordor, however, are unlikely to progress much further as their team becomes increasingly weakened through injury and sendings off, since they lack the necessary strength in depth.

[The Saucepan Man]

Sleepy Ranger, I am keeping an eye on contenders for the Yellow Boots trophy. The tally so far is, I believe, as follows:

Beleg (Doriath): 3
Pippin (The Shire): 3?
Turgon (Gondolin): 2
Azog (Moria): 1
Dark Lord (Mordor): 1
Ecthelion (Gondolin): 1
Elrohir (Rivendell): 1
Faramir (Gondor): 1
Fatty Bolger (Crickhollow): 1
Glorfindel (Gondolin) : 1
Legolas (Mirkwood): 1
Sauron (Tol-In-Gauroth): 1
The Saucepan Man (Barrow Downs): 1
Thingol (Doriath): 1
Turin (Nargothrond): 1
Tuor (Gondolin): 1
Ugluk (Isengard): 1
Unknown (Arnor): 1
Unknown (Arnor): 1
Unknown (Arnor): 1
Unknown (Ephel Barandir): 1
Unknown (Isengard): 1

Are you able to shed any light on the unknowns? Also, did Pippin score a hat trick for The Shire, or were there others on the score sheet for that team in their opening game?

[Sleepy Ranger]

Beleg (Doriath): 3
Pippin (The Shire): 2
Turgon (Gondolin): 2
Ugluk (Isengard): 2
Azog (Moria): 1
Merry (The Shire): 1
Dark Lord (Mordor): 1
Ecthelion (Gondolin): 1
Elrohir (Rivendell): 1
Faramir (Gondor): 1
Fatty Bolger (Crickhollow): 1
Glorfindel (Gondolin) : 1
Legolas (Mirkwood): 1
Sauron (Tol-In-Gauroth): 1
The Saucepan Man (Barrow Downs): 1
Thingol (Doriath): 1
Turin (Nargothrond): 1
Tuor (Gondolin): 1
Arvedui (Arnor): 1
Arathorn (Arnor): 1
Earnil (Arnor): 1
Brandir (Ephel Barandir): 1

Unknowns cleared. From now on I'll send you the list of people who score.
Thanks for your contributions Saucey!

When will casting begin for the presenters of Match of the Day Will Come Again?

All yours if you'd like the job, good sir!

[Rimbaud]

Great. I'll play the suave, crisp-munching elvish presenter Gary Lin-e-dir, then.

"Welcome to another wind-swept night in Fangorn. This promises to be a cracker." *slight raise of the eyebrows* "Fangorn's wooden defence..." *cheeky smile* "..promises to keep Doriath at bay. Let's hope Melian doesn't girdle on the night eh? I've always had a bit of a Thingol for her." *lascivious wink*

Alan Harnson Gamgee: "Oh do be quiet. Now over to Jolly 'Cotton' Motson at the game."

Etc. Cue (gentle) British laughter and blank puzzlement from Stateside...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Well, Day two tables look a little like this.

[Morsul the Dark]

Go Moria!!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I think this is what the Ladder should look like:

[Rimbaud]

When will casting begin for the presenters of Match of the Day Will Come Again?