What do you assign to Mordor?

[the guy who be short]

Computers that keep breaking down.

The fact that Britain has no decent festival to celebrate with fireworks, so we instead celebrate the fact that, 400 years ago, a man failed to blow up a monarch so that said monarch was able to continue his horrendous persecution of Catholics. Makes so much sense, celebrating that, you know. I feel like partying just mentioning it.

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by the guy who be short

Computers that keep breaking down.

The fact that Britain has no decent festival to celebrate with fireworks, so we instead celebrate the fact that, 400 years ago, a man failed to blow up a monarch so that said monarch . . . .

You know, I've always thought of Guy Fawke's Day as a very clever bit of nose-thumbing at a thoroughly entrenched monarchial system, similar to the telling and preservation of the Robin Hood legends. Or the Carnival that has almost died out in Europe. Events that aren't dogmatically enfranchised by some ideology or political celebration, like our Thanksgiving or national birthdays--a teensy bit anarchic. But then, I've never participated in such events.

I suppose I must keep this on-topic, though, eh?

To Mordor, to Mordor, I send irresponsible pet owners over. People who walk their dogs without 'stooping and scooping.' People who let said dogs defile sandboxes in children's playgrounds. People who turn the entire country into dog runs. People who... oh, alright. I guess you get the idea.

[the phantom]

Sexist radio hosts who assume that you don't know anything about sports or talk radio just because you're young and female.

Though I'm not a radio host, I am guilty of the same thing.

But really, can you blame me? The fact is, a majority of the young ladies I know roll their eyes at sports. The only reason they would ever open a sports page is to see if there are any "cute guys" in it.

And so, since that is what I am used to, you can't accuse me of being unfair when I assume a young lady doesn't know anything about sports. That's the way the world works, m'dear.

If you get slow service at a certain restaurant 75% of the time, it is logical to walk into the restaurant expecting slow service. That's not an unreasonable expectation, nor is the expectation of girls not being sports savvy unreasonable.

You just have to prove that the expectation is wrong in your case. Personally, I love bumping into a girl who disproves the sports stereotype. I wish there were more of you.

[Kath]

Or the Carnival that has almost died out in Europe.

We still have it! And it's great fun. A procession all round the town followed by a fair and fireworks. I used to be in it pretty much every year but no longer And speaking of the Carnival I assign being too ill to walk because I missed it this year due to that! I meant to post that long ago but I think I forgot.

[the guy who be short]

I know politicians have already been sent to Mordor (by myself, nonetheless! [or should that be me?]) but I really must send in particular the much-overused Tory phrase "cutting red tape." What exactly does red tape mean? Free transport services for the elderly? Free milk for schoolchildren? The NHS?!

Gah. I feel like attacking David Cameron. With something blunt.

[The Only Real Estel]

Hearing "because you don't need to."

If I want to go to a movie or something and the only reason against it is "you don't need to" my blood pressure rises really quickly. Whether I need to or not is completely relative. "You don't need to" is not a reason & therefore shouldn't be offered as one.

Heck, I didn't need to go on this mini rant here. But it sure felt good...

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by the guy who be short

I know politicians have already been sent to Mordor (by myself, nonetheless! [or should that be me?]) but I really must send in particular the much-overused Tory phrase "cutting red tape." What exactly does red tape mean? Free transport services for the elderly? Free milk for schoolchildren? The NHS?!

A few years ago I toured the American Revolution Barracks in Trenton, New Jersey, where a heck of a history buff of a tour guide revealed that Official Documents, such as orders from a military superior, were placed in envelopes, then wrapped with red tape to distinguish them from other missives. So a humble army officer had to 'cut the red tape' in order to read the important official missive. I suppose the same practice was used across the sea.

To Mordor: too much to do and not enough time to do it.

[Anguirel]

Partly to irritate tgwbs a wee bit, and partly to fly my true political colours, I send David Davis to Mordor, reassign David Cameron to Minas Tirith and firmly place Boris Johnson on Taniquetil...

[Lalaith]

I assign to Mordor that running-fingernails-down- the- blackboard rhetorical question, "How xxxx is that?" For years I've been waiting for it to die a death but still it flourishes. Even some of my best and most well-educated friends have been infected. Arrgh......How annoying is that?

[Orominuialwen]

Originally Posted by the phantom

Though I'm not a radio host, I am guilty of the same thing.

But really, can you blame me? The fact is, a majority of the young ladies I know roll their eyes at sports. The only reason they would ever open a sports page is to see if there are any "cute guys" in it.

And so, since that is what I am used to, you can't accuse me of being unfair when I assume a young lady doesn't know anything about sports. That's the way the world works, m'dear.

If you get slow service at a certain restaurant 75% of the time, it is logical to walk into the restaurant expecting slow service. That's not an unreasonable expectation, nor is the expectation of girls not being sports savvy unreasonable.

You just have to prove that the expectation is wrong in your case. Personally, I love bumping into a girl who disproves the sports stereotype. I wish there were more of you.

Yes, but I know you can't possibly be as bad as this guy was. I was a regular caller to the show long before that host came along (the previous ones were much cooler) and I even won prizes for my sports-related song parodies. (I once wrote a particularly good one about Randy Moss to the tune of Bad moon on the Rise. ) It's pretty funny, since I know/care more about sports than any of my male friends.

And as for being into sports for the 'cute guys,' let's just say that being hit on by UW football players back when I was only 14 (I look older than I really am) has completely put me off of that. Of course, my mother still entertains hopes that I will one day marry one of her students. (She's a tutor for the UW athletic department.)


To keep this from being off topic, I assign:

People who can't comprehend that two people of opposite genders can be friends with out being romantically interested in each other. If I had a dollar for every time somebody asked if one of my male friends was my boyfriend, I'd be a very rich girl.

People who make out in the hallways at school between classes. It's just disgusting and they block traffic in the already overcrowded halls, making the rest of us late for class. The five minutes we get in between each period in school are not the proper time or place to exchange saliva. Do it on your own time someplace where the rest of us aren't forced to see it.

[Celebuial]

I assign long distance relationships whilst the two people concerned are also busy university students to Mordor.

You never spend enough time studying because you're busy making four hour phone calls. You spend more than your entire food budget on said phone calls. And then when things don't work out you still never spend enough time studying because you're upset, pinning and your head is all ****** up.

University is just the wrong time to fall in love. Especially when the other person is back at home. I think that all the pain and suffering this causes is greater than any dealt out in a torture scene in a particularly vicious Uruk's dreams. There's only one place for this kind of misery...

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Celebuial

I assign long distance relationships whilst the two people concerned are also busy university students to Mordor.

You never spend enough time studying because you're busy making four hour phone calls. You spend more than your entire food budget on said phone calls. And then when things don't work out you still never spend enough time studying because you're upset, pinning and your head is all ****** up.

University is just the wrong time to fall in love. Especially when the other person is back at home. I think that all the pain and suffering this causes is greater than any dealt out in a torture scene in a particularly vicious Uruk's dreams. There's only one place for this kind of misery...

"Being in love", eh? Now you've gone and done it. ATM, here we go!

[Cailín]

People who can't comprehend that two people of opposite genders can be friends with out being romantically interested in each other. If I had a dollar for every time somebody asked if one of my male friends was my boyfriend, I'd be a very rich girl.

Yes, yes, I second that. Likewise, I would like to assign that particular friend of the opposite gender who just cannot seem to perceive what being in a platonic relationship entails. Just for a short, educational period that is.

And I would like to assign plumbers who have no idea what they're doing and make giant holes in your floor and ceiling for no apparent reason.

University is just the wrong time to fall in love.

But how could you last through all those years without falling in love?

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by Cailín

But how could you last through all those years without falling in love?

If you only define "falling in love" as being romantically in love with another person, then my answer is "easy".

On the same topic, my own disgruntlement leads me to assign those people to Mordor who assume that to live a life with no romantic interests must be the greatest of hardships and they "really don't see how you'll be able to do it". (No, not talking about you, Cailin, just people I know in 'real life'...)