The Narn i Chîn Húrin: Beleg & Falivirn

[Aiwendil]

Up to NA-SL-21

NA-RG-69: Another difficult one. I come up only with this:

but {Flinding go-Fuiling} [the son of Guilin] {fiercely} savagely answered

NA-RG-70 & NA-RG-71: This does not fit the meter. Better solutions are needed. But I could not find any.

I think these are fine.

NA-RG-73, -74, -76: Again, I'm lost.

NA-SL-15: I don't think that alliterating "heart" with "heart" is desirable. Perhaps:

of NA-SL-15{Húrin Thalion}[the House of Hador], what heart in this throng

NA-SL-16: I think it would be preferable to delete these lines (1958 - 1964) rather than changing the reference from Turin to Gwindor.

NA-EX-49: I would make this:

And the Lay tells of the feast at Gwindor's return:

NA-RG-80: I am tempted to suggest:

the form and face of NA-RG-80{Fuilin's son} [the faithful Elf]

NA-RG-82: I think we should use the article:

the folk of [b]NA-RG-82[b]{Faërie}[the Elves] in the first noontide

NA-RG-83, -84, -85: Where does "Culurien" come from? And is "Silpion" still valid? I thought "Telperion" replaced it. But I can't at the moment think of any way to save these lines, whatever the names of the Trees are.

NA-RG-87: I would just replace "Cor" with "Tirion".

NA-SL-18: I'm not sure about "chief friend of mine"; I don't think that retaining the word "chief" is desirable if in an altered meaning. Perhaps:

'NA-SL-18{O Húrin's child chief of Hithlum,}[O Child of Men whom chance led hither,]

NA-RG-91: No idea here.

NA-RG-94: I think that "Valar" would be preferable to "Great", unless a precedent can be found for referring to the Valar this way.

NA-RG-95, -96: I wonder about:

Thus NA-RG-95{Fuilin}[Guilin] and NA-RG-96{Flinding}[Gwindor] {friendship} [guest-kindliness] showed him,

The only possible problem there would be the length of the second half-line. But I don't think it's unreasonably long. Or perhaps some other way can be found of using "guest-kindliness" here; it's a good word and a perfect substitute for "friendship" in this context.

NA-RG-97: There's another spelling error here - should be "friends".

NA-SL-20: It's a minor point, but I don't think we need the accute accent on the second syllable of "handled". I wonder about "drawn and handled"; it sounds a little awkward to me, but I may be reading this too critically.

NA-SL-21: I would make line 2173:

neath trees enchanted}of deeds in the forest; then his tongue faltered

But there is the further problem here that we cannot alliterate on the second accented syllable of the second half-line. I also wonder why they should ask him about deeds in a "forest" if they did not know that he had once lived in Doriath. We might try:

neath trees enchanted}of his former deeds; then [faltered] his tongue {faltered}