Be careful what you wish for...

[The Elf-warrior]

I wish that Beren had taken two Silmarills!

Your wish is granted. But Beren loses both arms to Carcharoth.

I wish that Tolkien had finished The New Shadow.

[ohtatyaro]

I wish that Tolkien had finished The New Shadow.

Your wish is granted

But it turns out that the book is more interesting for movie-making then LoTR is- I mean, political strife, revolution, that kind of thing. Peter Jackson is not filming the trilogy, but goes for the New Shadow insted, which turns out to be ordinary conspiracy movie. No oscars, no renown. As a result, people like me are not turned to Tolkien and the Barrow-Downs remains small place. Since it is small, no such topic as this one is made, no one wishes that New Shadow was finished, so it is no finished, no one films it, Jackson films LoTR, the board swells, the topic is made, you wish for it, it is filmed, BD again is small.... a-a-a-a, Time Circle!

I wish Isildur had a light-saber

[HerenIstarion]

Originally Posted by ohtatyaro

I wish Isildur had a light-saber

Going along with the 'time-circle' theme here ... your wish is granted, but than, Narsil is not broken, Sauron is beaten there and then and the Ring is melted by the heat of the lazer. End of story - no Lord of the Rings books (not to mention movies) - no BarrowDowns - no lightsabers - story is written again and so forth (same principle). Story in circle, closed upon itself again

I wish Frodo had a helicopter

[Eorl of Rohan]

Originally Posted by HerenIstarion

I wish Frodo had a helicopter

Great, Frodo now has a helicopter! After volunteering at Elrond's council, he immediately makes use of it to fly up to the top of Mount Doom, drops the ring into the pit of fire, and then there's no story and therefore no Barrow-Downs and therefore this thread does not exist, and therefore there are too many therefores so that the subscription for this non-existent thread becomes immensely valuable to the eyes of crazy barrow-downers and collectors.

My dog wishes that she could eat lembas.

PS. She's currently nosing me for food.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Eorl of Rohan

My dog wishes that she could eat lembas.

Granted. But it cannot eat anything else. If it does it explodes. And as there is no lembas in the world... you get the idea.

I wish Hobbits kept Oliphants as pets.

[Gothmog]

I wish Hobbits kept Oliphants as pets.

Your wish is granted! Problem is Oliphants are VERY big. Because Hobbits love their new pets so much, they always play with them and after a couple of days, the whole Shire is trashed by galloping Oliphants running after sticks while enthusiastic halflings shout "Fetch, fetch! Good boy! Here you are, ten barrels of apples..." So no more Shire!

I wish Frodo and Sam started a rock band

[HerenIstarion]

Originally Posted by Gothmog

I wish Frodo and Sam started a rock band

Your wish is granted. Unfortunately, neither has more than vague idea what exactly 'rock band' actually is. Assuming it must be relatively numerous group of people throwing stones, they form one. Since they are strictly forbidden by the Thain to throw stones at hobbits, they come into habit of haunting highways to practice on passing dwarves and 'big folk'. As a result, Shire is renamed into Sherwood and its borders closed by royal decree #72 'about highway robbers in the North-West of our country'. Following decline in trade leads to splitting up of the Shire as a state. Hobbits are scattered, and 'far less numerous and prosperous' by the time of publication of The Hobbit

I wish Gandalf was muscular and Conan-barbarian-like rather than robed, and had a marine tattoo