Be careful what you wish for...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish Celeborn was a block of cheese.

Woosh! Look at that! He's a block of cheese. But you eat him. And you are allergic to cheese and so swell up to the size of Ireland and then burst.

I wish that the Elves could have fought at the Black Gate.

[The 1,000 Reader]

No offense Eorl, but that was a rather poor response. Their debating, not killing themselves with guns. Besides, I ducked.

On topic, your wish is granted. Unfortunately, Elrond is slain by the falling Morrannon and his children hold a series of wars against each other for the ownership of Rivendell.

I wish the shriek of a Nazgul would make Legolas run away screaming like a little girl.

[Kitanna]

Originally Posted by The 1,000 Reader

I wish the shriek of a Nazgul would make Legolas run away screaming like a little girl.

Your wish is granted. After hearing the Nazgul shriek Legolas throws his arms up in the air and screams like a girl. As he's running away he runs face first into a tree. And there was much rejoicing.

I wish Celeborn would talk faster.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish Celeborn would talk faster.

Gandalf removes his hat (among other things), and pulls from it, a pile of stones. Then he says "Thine wish is granted" and throws the stones away as they were irrelevant.
He talks faster. Much faster. So fast, that as he talks to the fellowship, his jaw sets on fire and he burns down Lorien.

I wish Frodo had sold Bag-End to the Gaffer.

[Eorl of Rohan]

Off Topic: I apologize, The 1000 Reader, if the remark seemed in bad taste to you. Now that I think of it, it might have been - sorry again.

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

I wish Frodo had sold Bag-End to the Gaffer.

Your wish is granted! Frodo sold the Bag-End to the Gaffer, who paid for it with bushels after bushels of potatos (having nothing else as a form of payment) and the overflowing stench of rotting potatos poison Frodo, and he dies of a potato-gas leak.

I wish my wish is not granted.

[Gothmog]

I wish my wish is not granted.

Poof! Your wish is granted and...not granted, which makes it granted, and not granted... And the paradox rips the universe in pieces, imploding in nothingness The only thing remaining is Eorl of Rohan, laughing at nothing

I wish Gandalf was a tax-collector

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I wish Gandalf was a tax-collector

Your wish is Richard. E. Granted. Gandalf is a tax-collector. But he is so trusting and kind hearted that he lets people off payments until he goes bankrupt.

I wish that Farmer Maggot had given the Hobbits a limitless supply of Mushrooms.