Jackson Purists Deplore Tolkien Changes

[The Saucepan Man]

I also hear that Jackson is contemplating directing a film concerning the adventures of Bilbo when he accompanied Gandalf and 4 Dwarves on a Quest to liberate the Lonely Mountain, once a Dwarven stronghold, from the evil clutches of a Dragon called Smaug. The working title is The Hobbit.

Rumour has it that the climax of the film is a terrific battle, called the Battle of Four Armies, where forces of Elves (led by Orli - er - Legolas' father, Thrandolas), Dwarves and Men are pitted against Hyena-riding Orcs. The highlights apparently, are Legolas shield-skiing down the Lonely Mountain and Arwen's defeat of the potato-headed Orc chieftain in single combat.

However, it is also rumoured that the tale may not be as swashbuckling as the original trilogy of films and that it may not feature the same style of basic humour. If it does not have belching Dwarves and superheroic high-cheekboned Elves, I shall be leading the call for it to be excluded from the Jackson Middle-earth Legendarium.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

I also hear that Jackson is contemplating directing a film concerning the adventures of Bilbo when he accompanied Gandalf and 4 Dwarves on a Quest to liberate the Lonely Mountain, once a Dwarven stronghold, from the evil clutches of a Dragon called Smaug. The working title is The Hobbit.

Rumour has it that the climax of the film is a terrific battle, called the Battle of Four Armies, where forces of Elves (led by Orli - er - Legolas' father, Thrandolas), Dwarves and Men are pitted against Hyena-riding Orcs. The highlights apparently, are Legolas shield-skiing down the Lonely Mountain and Arwen's defeat of the potato-headed Orc chieftain in single combat.

However, it is also rumoured that the tale may not be as swashbuckling as the original trilogy of films and that it may not feature the same style of basic humour. If it does not have belching Dwarves and superheroic high-cheekboned Elves, I shall be leading the call for it to be excluded from the Jackson Middle-earth Legendarium.

From the sounds of it, I think we could immediately disqualify such a silly tale from the Legendarium now...although one wonders what that Tolkien fellow is going to do with it and what, if any, role he will see between The Hobbit and the rest of M-E.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I've been plowing my way through Tolkien's book on the film, though I must confess, it's such tedious reading at times that I only manage about a chapter a week! I've made it to the big battle of Gondor, and I can understand that the author gives the characters more background and depth - after all, that's what we look for in a movie book, right? Problem is, he goes way farther than that - he adds so many absolutely useless characters, naming some of them only once or twice. How on earth are we supposed to keep track of them, let alone care enough about them to even remember them?

I mean, names like "Forlong the Fat", "Bergil", "Dúnhere, lord of Harrowdale", and even another prince, "Imrahil" to confuse things even more. And then there's a funny old crone in the hospital called Ioreth, who appears to be the fill-in for Gimli's missing comic relief. Really, couldn't Tolkien have gotten the Dwarf in there somehow instead of muddling things up with more new characters?! (Aside from the fact that if he was going to add another female, he could have made her a better role model for his feminine readers!)

You'd really think the publishers would have taken the time to go through the manuscript with a red pen, eliminating all of the unnecessary names. Weren't they thinking of the readers at all??!!

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Actually, Esty, the publishers have used those obscure names as a crass means of generating more revenue. I was in the bookstore the other day and found a whole section devoted to books about M-E, most of which were full of explanatory notes about the things that this Tolkien fellow added to the story.

He was cleary looking for spin-off and cross-over merchandising when he wrote that thing.

[Mister Underhill]

Yes, Fordim, the word is that poor PJ had tax troubles or somesuch, and was forced to sell the adaptation rights to his masterworks for a pittance. Now this Tolkien fellow has created a whole unauthorized "Expanded Universe". I was at a convention recently and saw plans for Expanded Universe action figures -- a dude named "Húrin" with "troll-chopping action" and some sort of mechanical dragons ridden by Balrogs (!) are just two examples of the nonsense Tolkien has come up with. He just doesn't get it!

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Originally Posted by Mister Underhill

and some sort of mechanical dragons ridden by Balrogs (!) are just two examples of the nonsense Tolkien has come up with. He just doesn't get it!

Well that's the final evidence I need to completely do away with this character -- if his "balrogs" are riding dragons I can only assume that they are wingless. A wingless balrog!!!!!!!!!!!! I've never heard of anything that so utterly disregards the master vision of PJ.

Excuse me, Mister Tolkien, but if you look very closely at the balrog -- or even just look at him -- you'll see that those aren't shadows but wings!

How can anyone be so stupid???????

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by Fordim Hedgethistle

Any news yet on when Jackson's letters are to be published?

Well, of course I am somewhat skeptical of gossip, but I heard that Jackson does not in fact use letters, Fordim. He uses email exclusively, except for legal contracts. What tends to give this story credence as far as I am concerned is the fact that this Tolkien guy has apparently already published his Letters. I know, I know, my argument is a bit convoluted, but let me explain.

Consider this for a sec. Tolkien is getting wind of the kind of thinking that we Downers here are in the forefront of promulgating--that he is just a second rate hack standing on the shoulders of giants to win acclaim and fortune--and he's getting nervous. So he's doing some spin to reposition himself.

What kind of spin? He's trying to present himself as the original, primal source, not some post-movie bandwagon writer. Talk about spin, eh? He is doing this by imitating the habits of communication used in the early twentieth century before movies and the internet provided us with ideas as they happen. Tolkien is going back to the old form of correspondence, letters.

So Tolkien's Letters are part of his attempt to place his work in the past, as a prequel to Jackson's. To show what ends he went to, to create this verisimilitude of a primary world, apparently he even supplied smudged carbon copies of letters he claimed to have sent.

So, that’s the extent to which this sorry interloper will go to create evidence of his primacy.

This of course leads me to wonder if Tolkien would have spread the story himself, a bit of agitprop, that Jackson does not employ letters?

At the same time could be just another old wives' tale of course. Maybe we'll just have to wait until Jackson is dead before we find out if he prefers letters or some other form of posting.