Of what did they taste? - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Lalwendë · 07-07-2005, 01:18 PM

Orcs taste like mystery meat, the sort that is commonly served up in kebab vans outside the Green Dragon on Friday nights. The young Hobbits who are tanked up to the tips of their slightly pointy ears on high strength ale feel compelled to eat it, but likewise, they are also compelled to drown said mystery meat in chilli sauce.

Balrogs are a bit like Turkey. During the Yule festivities Hobbit mums go and buy Balrog joints to serve up for the family festivities, together with roast taters and sprouts they have had on the boil for a week or two. However, as Balrog meat is so cheap, it has lately been used to make cheap, oven ready food products sold to the kitchens of Hobbit schools in the form of Balrog Twizzlers. Famed young Buckland chef, Jamie Oliver-Baggins recently got himself into the news for bringing the poor nutritional value of Balrog Twizzlers to the attention of the Shire. As a result, the Mayor has seen to it that they are banned from Hobbit schools.

Giant spiders like Shelob have quite a complex taste I hear. Though these days instead of using them for their meat, their fangs are being milked owing to the supposedly good bacteria found in them. Said spider milk, which has a brown colour, is being marketed in Gondor as Yakoliant, though many remain sceptical as to its beneficial properties.

Lhunardawen · 07-11-2005, 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spawn

I wouldn't recommend anyone to eat balrog. There's way too much carcinogens: you would just end up with a cancer

But barbecue is just too good to pass up on!

One thing I'm sure of is, whatever their taste, Feanor and Saruman definitely taste alike. Apparently, they have the same meat.

the guy who be short · 07-11-2005, 07:03 AM

Actually, I'm quite interested in the flavour of the Istari. As I've started before, I can't help but wonder if "Blue Wizards" implies a blue flavour or not. Radagast, I imagine would taste quite nutty, Gandalf wouldn't taste of much, Saruman would be bitter. This is all on the presumption that Fea can influence taste (just can't make my mind up on that...).

I doubt that one could eat Balrogs actually. Shadow is hard to eat, and fire, though simpler, is slightly more painful.

Estelyn Telcontar · 07-11-2005, 07:10 AM

In German, at least, (don't know about other languages) the term "blue", when used in cooking, refers to preparing a fish (trout, especially) in an infusion of vinegar. So if applied to the Blue Wizards, that would mean that they taste sour rather than bitter.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 07-11-2005, 07:15 AM

I was reading yesterday how blue is the inedible colour. Sure, fish can be kinda silvery blue and some cheese can have a bluish tinge, but it's being stretched.

That's why the Blue Wizards (and Gandalf probably) have not yet been devoured by predators. Their colour is off-putting. Unsurprisingly, the many Green Wizards who accompanied Gandalf et al over the Sea were swiftly eaten, possibly mistaken for cucumbers.*

*Casually omitted from HoME.

Feanor of the Peredhil · 07-11-2005, 08:02 AM

You've forgotten blueberries. Which leads me to believe that the Blue Wizards may have tasted somewhat fruity.

Lalwendë · 07-11-2005, 08:26 AM

Maybe the blue wizards taste faintly of chemicals, like blue confectionery products such as blue Smarties or Slush Puppies? Either way, you'd want to prevent the kids from eating too many Blue Wizards or they'd get hyper on all those E numbers.

Saruman, being of Many Colours, would taste like Trifle.

07-07-2005, 01:18 PM	#1
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Orcs taste like mystery meat, the sort that is commonly served up in kebab vans outside the Green Dragon on Friday nights. The young Hobbits who are tanked up to the tips of their slightly pointy ears on high strength ale feel compelled to eat it, but likewise, they are also compelled to drown said mystery meat in chilli sauce. Balrogs are a bit like Turkey. During the Yule festivities Hobbit mums go and buy Balrog joints to serve up for the family festivities, together with roast taters and sprouts they have had on the boil for a week or two. However, as Balrog meat is so cheap, it has lately been used to make cheap, oven ready food products sold to the kitchens of Hobbit schools in the form of Balrog Twizzlers. Famed young Buckland chef, Jamie Oliver-Baggins recently got himself into the news for bringing the poor nutritional value of Balrog Twizzlers to the attention of the Shire. As a result, the Mayor has seen to it that they are banned from Hobbit schools. Giant spiders like Shelob have quite a complex taste I hear. Though these days instead of using them for their meat, their fangs are being milked owing to the supposedly good bacteria found in them. Said spider milk, which has a brown colour, is being marketed in Gondor as Yakoliant, though many remain sceptical as to its beneficial properties. __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-11-2005, 07:10 AM	#4
Estelyn Telcontar Princess of Skwerlz Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles) Posts: 7,500	In German, at least, (don't know about other languages) the term "blue", when used in cooking, refers to preparing a fish (trout, especially) in an infusion of vinegar. So if applied to the Blue Wizards, that would mean that they taste sour rather than bitter. __________________ 'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'

07-11-2005, 07:15 AM	#5
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	I was reading yesterday how blue is the inedible colour. Sure, fish can be kinda silvery blue and some cheese can have a bluish tinge, but it's being stretched. That's why the Blue Wizards (and Gandalf probably) have not yet been devoured by predators. Their colour is off-putting. Unsurprisingly, the many Green Wizards who accompanied Gandalf et al over the Sea were swiftly eaten, possibly mistaken for cucumbers.* Casually omitted from HoME. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond*

07-11-2005, 08:02 AM	#6
Feanor of the Peredhil La Belle Dame sans Merci Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: perpetual uncertainty Posts: 5,517	You've forgotten blueberries. Which leads me to believe that the Blue Wizards may have tasted somewhat fruity. __________________ peace

07-11-2005, 08:26 AM	#7
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Maybe the blue wizards taste faintly of chemicals, like blue confectionery products such as blue Smarties or Slush Puppies? Either way, you'd want to prevent the kids from eating too many Blue Wizards or they'd get hyper on all those E numbers. Saruman, being of Many Colours, would taste like Trifle. __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-11-2005, 07:03 AM	#3
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	Actually, I'm quite interested in the flavour of the Istari. As I've started before, I can't help but wonder if "Blue Wizards" implies a blue flavour or not. Radagast, I imagine would taste quite nutty, Gandalf wouldn't taste of much, Saruman would be bitter. This is all on the presumption that Fea can influence taste (just can't make my mind up on that...). I doubt that one could eat Balrogs actually. Shadow is hard to eat, and fire, though simpler, is slightly more painful.

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