What do you assign to Mordor?

[Encaitare]

I have been assigned to Mordor no less than five times on this thread (three times by the phantom alone)!

I have been once, because like Lalwende, I believe that everyone should get off the couch and vote -- even though I can't yet. If I could, I would.

I had to look twice at this statement. I thought you were talking about your brother's girlfriend for a moment, and then I realised you are most likely not British!

*dies of laughter* Ah, that is too funny.

Things I assign to Mordor:

- AP exams. They are not as hard as they're made out to be, but they're so long and stressful and exhausting.
- empty tubes of chapstick
- the chapstick company, which thinks it can sell a tube of solidified petrolum jelly for about $1.50
- door-to-door salespeople
- every author who wrote some allegory or other kind of fiction about the dangers of communism/fascism/socialism/totalitarianism/other bad isms. That is some of the most depressing literature I've ever read.
- people who spit on the ground for no apparent reason (does anyone else notice a lot of that, or is it just specific to my twisted town?)
- cigarettes because they equal slow suicide. And they smell bad.
- computers that randomly decide to rebel against you and break when they were working just fine a minute before.

Hope I didn't offend anyone too badly, especially if you work for one of those accursed chapstick companies.

(Yes, I named my computer)

Ooh, I should name my computer. Eddie would be a nice name, but my computer isn't painfully cheerful. In fact, I think I'll call it Marvin because the firewall I have is paranoid and goes berserk at the slightest thing. So Marvin it is.

[Oddwen]

Customers who come through the drive-thru with a loud truck, or a cellphone, or screaming kids, or not knowing what they want...or all four. People who pay with too much change.

Tomato hornworms. Rabbit bites. MY stupid loud birds who screech all the time. PT Cruisers. Flat tires.

Rising gas prices. The phrase "My Bad". Getting up early. Alarm clocks. Raccoons, possums, squrrels, and most other furri animals.

Oh man...Cherry Festival is coming. The resulting traffic could very well head to Orodruin and cast itself into the Sammath Naur like lemmings, which also would go because they're a small furri animal.

Disney, the image, and also the people responsible for the whole "lemming" myth.

People who pass me in their cars just before I make my turnoff. Fissssh. Dirty dishes. (Not the Saucepan Man, though )

[littlemanpoet]

People who threaten me with dire threats of unknowable doom.

[mormegil]

Patients who come to the Emergency Room for trivial things who don't have insurance or government funded patients who treat the ER as a Dr's clinic.

Probably doesn't happen on the island across the pond.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Nurses who know nothing about your medical history that, when you are in the ER having an asthma attack, first ask you to rate your pain on a scale of 1-10, and then, after you've sat in an antiseptic smelling room for hours because not being able to breathe doesn't really *hurt*, finally admit you and then proceed to ask you to breathe deeply while they check all sorts of vital (but not really, given the circumstances) stats.

That entire scenario is welcome to inhabit every hospital in Mordor.

Also, guys who think that just because you are attractive means that you're a *****. They can burn in Mordor. I officially assign them.

[Bêthberry]

Well, I, for one, am extremely loathe to assign anything or anyone to Mordor. It's a nasssty place and how am I to know of someone's private disposition? And of their chances for repentance or something?

How about Dol Guldur though?

[tar-ancalime]

Well, for the most part I'm with Bethberry--for example, I have yet to see a vegetable on this thread that I don't like!

But there is one group of people whom I would banish: all the people who, on hearing about my new job (which will entail a major relocation), immediately ask me in an accusing voice what my husband is going to do. If the genders were reversed, wouldn't the first question likely be, Are you excited? Or perhaps, However did you hear about this position? Or the ever-popular, Congratulations! Not an immediate, insulting implication that a fantastic opportunity for me is not reason enough for both of us to move away.

[deagol]

Originally Posted by Bêthberry

Well, I, for one, am extremely loathe to assign anything or anyone to Mordor. It's a nasssty place and how am I to know of someone's private disposition? And of their chances for repentance or something?

How about Dol Guldur though?

I very much concur with this perspective. Remember your Gandalf:

"For even the very wise cannot see all ends."