American Readers(and others too)

[Morai]

As for biscuits... the best way [COUGH] the only way [/COUGH] to eat a biscuit is sliced horizontally and spread with butter and strawberry jam. Although there are some instances where biscuits are quite good served with a chicken/vegetable/gravy concoction. Very hearty and delicious.

But of course....(though if you like salsa, I highly suggest spreading it on the biscuit like butter.)
American biscuits are very similar to an Egg-Mc-muffin minus the egg and ham (shudder!) and they are much tastier and easier on the stomach.

As for taters... I have issues with taters. I always picture Sam cooking up the tater tots that my school's cafeteria likes to serve with cheeseburgers. The best way to describe them is as small (a square inch, or thereabouts) ball of shredded potato with [somehow] a crispy outside. Now don't get me wrong, I love taters... but it's just hard seeing Gollum holding one up to the light saying "What's taters, precious?"

Exactly what I was talking about, still no one I know eats Rabbit stew, and yes...I refuse to reveal my location, unless you can figure it out yourself from all my inside jokes.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

American biscuits are very similar to an Egg-Mc-muffin minus the egg and ham (shudder!) and they are much tastier and easier on the stomach.

English muffins, those are called, but do they even have them in England? Quite excellent with... you guessed it... butter and strawberry jam. Or apple butter. I never pictured Dwarves and Hobbits with English Muffins though... regular muffins... blueberry muffins and such... Now those I can see a hobbit eating a dozen of in one sitting.

Fea

[Rimbaud]

Indeed we do, sliced in half, toasted and buttered, quite delicious. The 'English' prefix was once not necessary, but my choice of companions now requires it. A muffin, English or otherwise, is still not a patch on a crumpet, though.

[Lalwendë]

Shall I confuse things even further? Very well...

To me, it's neither a muffin nor an English muffin. It's an Oven Bottom Muffin. And it is a distinct item to your everyday bread roll/bap/barmcake/breadcake, as they are cooked on the bottom of an oven so that the outsides get a bit blackened. And they have a little dimple on top. The ones in McD's are tiny in comparison. Lovely with loads of melted Lancashire cheese on them, or maybe some greasy sausage and bacon.

Crumpets (snigger) are of course delicious, yet even here there is confusion. Some Yorkshire folk call them pikelets, but to others in Yorkshire, a pikelet is specifically a larger and flatter type of crumpet. I think the origin of the first definition comes from those who did not like to utter the word 'crumpet' as it seemed vulgar. Even more confusingly, to an Australian, a pikelet would signify what most Brits would call a Scotch Pancake - which is nothing like a real pancake as these are quite small and spongy in texture.

I can well imagine a lot of Hobbits sitting about the fireside in an evening, toasting forks at the ready, muffins and crumpets speared on the ends...

What is apple butter though? It sounds nice, almost like Lemon Cheese.

[Lyta_Underhill]

Why is it that I always read the threads about food on the one day a week I abstain from all solid food? I'm sure there's a simple psychological explanation...

I will not withhold my location, as I've told it before--Southern Middle Tennessee, heart of the high fat biscuits and gravy region of the US. All my husband's relatives are fond of hillbilly methods of cookery, which inevitably involve extremely high levels of fat and grease. Strangely enough, most of them are about average weight (at least in the local area) and in some cases, they are underweight! However, they have an insidious scheme of pushing food on unsuspecting (and ever-hungry!) hobbits like me! Luckily, I find pictures of biscuits and gravy like those linked by Lalwendë above rather repulsive in themselves, i.e., the visual component. It is the smell and the taste that sing their Siren song to be repented at leisure about 3 hours later... therefore, I have learned to top the traditional Southern biscuit with about 1/4 the amount of gravy seen in those pictures in order to avoid the well-known consequences!

As for scones, I can understand perfectly why they would be dry, since it is an irresistible invitation to dipping them in the accompanying beverage. My favorite dipping delicacy, however, is lightly almond flavored chocolate chip biscotti, homemade by me! These are dry and crunchy until dunked, and indeed, might break teeth if they are not properly consumed! I guess this accords with Rimbaud's Tea and a Biscuit in the "biscuit" category--I love that site's delightful "Taxonomy" that nowhere mentions "scones," but has rather precise definitions based on Venn Diagrams and other "set theory" type devices. Teehee! In itself it sounds like a conversation over tea!

Well, must dash and tend to business in the interval between Elevensies and Lunch (not to say I'll actually be eating anything!).

Cheers!
Lyta (fasting hobbit)

P.S.

Even more confusingly, to an Australian, a pikelet would signify what most Brits would call a Scotch Pancake - which is nothing like a real pancake as these are quite small and spongy in texture.

I think these are also known as "cheap diner pancakes" in the US, served in places where the help is overworked and underpaid and they don't have time to make batter, but instead slap frozen cakes into a microwave...bleah!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

What is apple butter though? It sounds nice, almost like Lemon Cheese.

Although I've never heard of Lemon Cheese... Apple butter is very nice. I rather think that hobbits would like it (and perhaps even they did like it, since it is a very natural and yummy (and simple) concoction). Now apple butter is not to be confused with Vegemite, which in some instances, it looks like. I assure you that Vegemite does not have the sweet apple-cinnamon taste of apple butter. You know... with hobbits' fondness for ale, perhaps they had Vegemite in the Shire. Can you only imagine?

Fea

[Lyta_Underhill]

Lemon Cheese? Is that like lemon curd? Or is it really cheese? I can't imagine comparing apple butter and vegemite, though! Worse, accidentally substituting vegemite for apple butter on some poor unsuspecting fool's biscuit! I can imagine that there are some hobbits who worship the taste of vegemite, just as there are those who adore Limburger cheese...yes, I can imagine a few hobbits meeting after hours and furtively discussing the merits of Green Hills vegemite over Frogmorton vegemite, or some such thing. Perhaps it is a taste that goes with beer, which I also don't care for much. Not much of a hobbit, am I?

Cheers!
Lyta

P.S. Fea, I think that vegemite looks a little greyer than apple butter, having had occasion to compare them at first hand, but that could be visual editorializing!

[Lalwendë]

I think it was the colour of the gravy in those pictures that got to me, it was unnatural, gravy ought to be brown. And the only allowed 'extras' ought to be a bit of onion or some mushrooms. But if it tastes good then I'd be willing to try it...

Lemon cheese is almost like Lemon Curd , but it's thicker and more sugary, and you almost always have to get home made stuff. It's really good as the filling in a big sponge cake. I like the look of apple butter though. When you say 'apple cider' in the US I've been led to believe you mean non-alcoholic apple juice as opposed to the full strength, intoxicating, madness-inducing cider we drink here? I'm glad that Hobbits tend to stick to ale, as excessive cider drinking leads to strange behaviour.

Vegemite is like the bunny rabbit slippers in comparison to Marmite , which is more like a pair of 18 hole Doc Martens in the taste stakes. I think Hobbits would definitely opt for Marmite, especially when serving up tea and toast for a load of dwarves. Though these foreign Bucklanders with their fancy talk and fancy ways might go for Vegemite. I hear they even bring a few jars with them when they come backpacking around The Shire.