Hitchhiker's Guide to Middlearth - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Beanamir of Gondor · 02-23-2005, 12:14 PM

Ah, yes. Lothlorien. The future location of the Restaurant at the End of the Middlearth. Also the home of a very crabby creature called Haldir, who has been killed by an Uruk-Hai called Denrthur at least seventy times, but has been strangely reincarnated all of those times. "Oh, orc filth! I've brought you here too soon! Staff of Gandalf Beta!" he was heard to cry as the same orc slaughtered him for the fifty-sixth time at Helm's Deep. For Lothlorien, see also Rivendell, Mirkwood, and Mordor. For Haldir, see also Helm's Deep, Vietnam War, and Faramir, son of Peregrin Took.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

<<C'est n'est pas le vin!>> dit le Persan dans une voix basse. <<C'est le poudre, Raoul!>>
<<Erik va sauter l'Opera!>> crie Raoul.

Shelob · 02-23-2005, 01:02 PM

The menu for the Restaurant at the End of the Middleearth quotes, by permission, a paage from The Hitchhiker's Guide to Middleearth. The Pasage is this:

The history of almost every major Middle Earth Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiery and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases.
For Instance, the first phase is characterized by the question, "How can we eat?", the second by the question, "Why do we eat?", and teh third by the question, "Where shall we have lunch?"
The lone exception to these three stages is the Hobbit Civilization, which lept straight from the How phase to the previously unrecorded What stage. This fourth stage is best characterized by the question "What about breakfast?"

Glirdan · 02-23-2005, 02:47 PM

That's very interesting Shelob, but you forgot the elvensies and tea, and 2nd beakfast for the Shire. O well, can't have everything in life now can we?

Glirdy

Shelob · 02-23-2005, 03:29 PM

almost put them in...then decided it was overkill...so instead I'll point you to this notice in the guide: "The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate."

Glirdan · 02-23-2005, 06:11 PM

O, ok then, that answers my question.

Glirdy

Eowyn Wenhamir · 03-10-2005, 12:31 PM

Isengard: Nazgul riders patrolling over this area were reported to have seen naked humans flying around, and performing acts which were formerly thought to be impossible in midair.

One elderly Ringwraith from Mordor was very cheered by this sight. See also Aragorn Dunedain and Arwen Evenstar.

Elu Ancalime · 01-03-2006, 04:49 PM

Ungoliant
Infamous for aiding Melkor in the destruction of the Two Trees, and later tried to eat him. Urban rumors stated she eventually came to the deserts of Harad, and ate herself. This was belived by the general public, but HHGTME reveals the truth. Ungoliant has gone soft. Using *Flappo* as her stagename, she and other repentent creatures started a travelling circus. She makes webs that children play on as trampolines. If you are fortunate enough to encounter the Circus Ungolus, relax and have fun with Flappy, Bobbles the Balrog, and Wiggles the wight, and the Alatar and Pallando the Blues Brothers acrobats. The Circus Torech is currently on tour coming to Umbar, Khand, Rhun, Dale, Angrenost, and finally the Party Field at Hobbiton. {With special guest magician Gandalf}
Rivendell:
A scenic valley of elves. We recomend you to stop by for at least a night, but remember to come bearing friendliness. A large library chronicling all events of Middle-Earth awaits you, and there also are the Shards of Narsil. You will find Imladris on the Great East Road, just west of the Trollshaws. For those of you travellling from the east, it is due south of where the High Pass leads into Eriador. For our Snow Men visiting from the north, follow the edge of the Ettenmoors and down the Misty Mountains. From the south follow the outline of the Hitheglir from Eregoin.

*coupon in Guide*

For you wanderers out there, here's some deals you won't want to miss! We know it's hard to find an Inn or a meal while on the road, so use this coupon to save on room and board across Middle-Earth!
Admit One Traveller to the Prancing Pony
This allows the bearer three nights at the Prancing Pony Inn at Bree. Also includes ten free pints of beer, and a slab of beef. (Hobbits may substitue for Mushrooms)
Admit One Traveller to Anor Suites
This allows the bearer a fortnight at Anor Suites located on the fifth tier and north side. Also includes a full meal every night, one pass to enter/exit the Rammas Echor and Great Gate at any time, and a Free Tour of the Courtyard outside of the Tower of Ecthelion. Plese remember Gondor is not responsible for the bearer being assaulted by the Fountain Guard, as the bearer should have been warned sufficeintly about not touching the White Tree.
________
Medical Marijuana News

Firefoot · 01-03-2006, 09:54 PM

Isildur's Heir: see Strider.

Strider: see Longshanks.

Longshanks: see Aragorn II

Aragorn II: see Elessar Telcontar.

Elessar Telcontar: see Envinyatar.

Envinyatar: see Dunadan.

Dunadan: see Thorongil.

Thorongil: see Estel.

Estel: see Wingfoot.

Wingfoot: see Isildur's Heir.

Gollum, last words of: So long, and thanks for all the... nasty thieves, never gave us any fissh, did they, precious?

Telperaca · 03-10-2006, 08:59 AM

Beanamir of Gondor- You rock! This is an excellent idea, one which I've not seen at any other LotR forums!

It's been a laugh reading some of these enteries.
So long, and thanks for all the laughs.

02-23-2005, 12:14 PM	#1
Beanamir of Gondor Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: the Shadow Gallery Posts: 276	Ah, yes. Lothlorien. The future location of the Restaurant at the End of the Middlearth. Also the home of a very crabby creature called Haldir, who has been killed by an Uruk-Hai called Denrthur at least seventy times, but has been strangely reincarnated all of those times. "Oh, orc filth! I've brought you here too soon! Staff of Gandalf Beta!" he was heard to cry as the same orc slaughtered him for the fifty-sixth time at Helm's Deep. For Lothlorien, see also Rivendell, Mirkwood, and Mordor. For Haldir, see also Helm's Deep, Vietnam War, and Faramir, son of Peregrin Took. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <<C'est n'est pas le vin!>> dit le Persan dans une voix basse. <<C'est le poudre, Raoul!>> <<Erik va sauter l'Opera!>> crie Raoul. __________________ The answer to life is no longer 42. It's 4 8 15 16 23... 42. "I only lent you my body; you lent me your dream."

02-23-2005, 01:02 PM	#2
Shelob Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: At the abysmal Abyss Mall. Posts: 276	The menu for the Restaurant at the End of the Middleearth quotes, by permission, a paage from The Hitchhiker's Guide to Middleearth. The Pasage is this: The history of almost every major Middle Earth Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiery and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. For Instance, the first phase is characterized by the question, "How can we eat?", the second by the question, "Why do we eat?", and teh third by the question, "Where shall we have lunch?" The lone exception to these three stages is the Hobbit Civilization, which lept straight from the How phase to the previously unrecorded What stage. This fourth stage is best characterized by the question "What about breakfast?" __________________ A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name ~Evan Esar. Pan for Everyone!

02-23-2005, 02:47 PM	#3
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,285	That's very interesting Shelob, but you forgot the elvensies and tea, and 2nd beakfast for the Shire. O well, can't have everything in life now can we? Glirdy __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf

02-23-2005, 03:29 PM	#4
Shelob Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: At the abysmal Abyss Mall. Posts: 276	almost put them in...then decided it was overkill...so instead I'll point you to this notice in the guide: "The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate." __________________ A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name ~Evan Esar. Pan for Everyone!

02-23-2005, 06:11 PM	#5
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,285	O, ok then, that answers my question. *Glirdy* __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf

03-10-2005, 12:31 PM	#6
Eowyn Wenhamir Pile O'Bones Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Minas Tirith Posts: 16	Isengard: Nazgul riders patrolling over this area were reported to have seen naked humans flying around, and performing acts which were formerly thought to be impossible in midair. One elderly Ringwraith from Mordor was very cheered by this sight. See also Aragorn Dunedain and Arwen Evenstar. __________________ "You wish, then," said Faramir, "that our places had been exchanged?" "Yes, I do wish that," said Denethor. "For Boromir was loyal to me, and no wizard's pupil."

01-03-2006, 04:49 PM	#7
Elu Ancalime Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Anador Posts: 476	btw Encyclopedia of Arda really is the Guide for ME! Ungoliant Infamous for aiding Melkor in the destruction of the Two Trees, and later tried to eat him. Urban rumors stated she eventually came to the deserts of Harad, and ate herself. This was belived by the general public, but HHGTME reveals the truth. Ungoliant has gone soft. Using Flappo as her stagename, she and other repentent creatures started a travelling circus. She makes webs that children play on as trampolines. If you are fortunate enough to encounter the Circus Ungolus, relax and have fun with Flappy, Bobbles the Balrog, and Wiggles the wight, and the Alatar and Pallando the Blues Brothers acrobats. The Circus Torech is currently on tour coming to Umbar, Khand, Rhun, Dale, Angrenost, and finally the Party Field at Hobbiton. {With special guest magician Gandalf} Rivendell: A scenic valley of elves. We recomend you to stop by for at least a night, but remember to come bearing friendliness. A large library chronicling all events of Middle-Earth awaits you, and there also are the Shards of Narsil. You will find Imladris on the Great East Road, just west of the Trollshaws. For those of you travellling from the east, it is due south of where the High Pass leads into Eriador. For our Snow Men visiting from the north, follow the edge of the Ettenmoors and down the Misty Mountains. From the south follow the outline of the Hitheglir from Eregoin. coupon in Guide For you wanderers out there, here's some deals you won't want to miss! We know it's hard to find an Inn or a meal while on the road, so use this coupon to save on room and board across Middle-Earth! Admit One Traveller to the Prancing Pony This allows the bearer three nights at the Prancing Pony Inn at Bree. Also includes ten free pints of beer, and a slab of beef. (Hobbits may substitue for Mushrooms) Admit One Traveller to Anor Suites This allows the bearer a fortnight at Anor Suites located on the fifth tier and north side. Also includes a full meal every night, one pass to enter/exit the Rammas Echor and Great Gate at any time, and a Free Tour of the Courtyard outside of the Tower of Ecthelion. Plese remember Gondor is not responsible for the bearer being assaulted by the Fountain Guard, as the bearer should have been warned sufficeintly about not touching the White Tree. ________ Medical Marijuana News Last edited by Elu Ancalime; 03-03-2011 at 10:36 PM.

01-03-2006, 09:54 PM	#8
Firefoot Illusionary Holbytla Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 7,547	Isildur's Heir: see Strider. Strider: see Longshanks. Longshanks: see Aragorn II Aragorn II: see Elessar Telcontar. Elessar Telcontar: see Envinyatar. Envinyatar: see Dunadan. Dunadan: see Thorongil. Thorongil: see Estel. Estel: see Wingfoot. Wingfoot: see Isildur's Heir. Gollum, last words of: So long, and thanks for all the... nasty thieves, never gave us any fissh, did they, precious?

03-10-2006, 08:59 AM	#9
Telperaca Animated Skeleton Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: England Posts: 42	Beanamir of Gondor- You rock! This is an excellent idea, one which I've not seen at any other LotR forums! It's been a laugh reading some of these enteries. So long, and thanks for all the laughs.

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