Hitchhiker's Guide to Middlearth - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Lathriel · 02-04-2005, 11:46 PM

And in this case the answer to life and everything is not 42 but 53.

Aragorn:A guy who denies his birthright and who is always dirty. He takes great care to avoid baths but Legolas is always threatening Aragorn with his shampoo kit.

Hookbill the Goomba · 02-05-2005, 07:29 AM

Sauron:

Sauron, the infinitely evil, is a mair with a purpose. Not a very good purpose, as he would be the first to admit. But at least it keeps him busy, keeps him on the move. Sauron is of that rear breed of evil beings. Those who are born evil instantly know how to deal with it. Sauron, however, was not one of them and has come to hate them, the 'load of malicious b*****ds'. He had his evilness inadvertently thrust upon him by an unfortunate accident involving an irrational particle accelerator, a liquid lunch, two rubber bands and a man called Melkor.

The precise details of this experiment are unimportant as no one has been able to correctly duplicate the exact circumstances under which they happened them. Although many have ended up looking very silly or dead (or in most cases both) trying to.

The Squatter of Amon Rûdh · 02-05-2005, 03:48 PM

Orcish poetry is in fact only the third worst in Middle-earth, the second being that of the Fairbairns of the Towers. During a recitation by their poet master, Flumbo the Corpulent, of his poem Ode to a small piece of green putty I found in my pipeweed one midsummer morning, seven of the audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Middle-earth Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing his own leg off. Flumbo was said to be 'disappointed' with the poem's reception, and was about to embark on his twelve-book epic My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles, when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilisation, leapt straight up his neck and throttled his brain.

The worst poetry in Middle-earth died with its creator: Vogonwë Brownbark of the Minus Teeth Gazette, in a bizarre calligraphy accident.

With sincere apologies to the late Douglas Adams, the later J.R.R. Tolkien, the unlate Diamond18, the staff of the OED and all writers of English, living or dead.

Oddwen · 02-05-2005, 04:36 PM

Elrond's Guestbook:
Mostly Harmless

[edit]
Know what, scratch that. Make it

Elrond's Guestbook:
Mostly Off-Topic

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02-04-2005, 11:46 PM	#1
Lathriel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Wandering through Middle-Earth (Sadly in Alberta and not ME) Posts: 612	The answer to life and everthing And in this case the answer to life and everything is not 42 but 53. Aragorn:A guy who denies his birthright and who is always dirty. He takes great care to avoid baths but Legolas is always threatening Aragorn with his shampoo kit. __________________ Back again

02-05-2005, 07:29 AM	#2
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Sauron: Sauron, the infinitely evil, is a mair with a purpose. Not a very good purpose, as he would be the first to admit. But at least it keeps him busy, keeps him on the move. Sauron is of that rear breed of evil beings. Those who are born evil instantly know how to deal with it. Sauron, however, was not one of them and has come to hate them, the 'load of malicious b*****ds'. He had his evilness inadvertently thrust upon him by an unfortunate accident involving an irrational particle accelerator, a liquid lunch, two rubber bands and a man called Melkor. The precise details of this experiment are unimportant as no one has been able to correctly duplicate the exact circumstances under which they happened them. Although many have ended up looking very silly or dead (or in most cases both) trying to. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

02-05-2005, 03:48 PM	#3
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh Spectre of Decay Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Bar-en-Danwedh Posts: 2,178	Concerning poetry Orcish poetry is in fact only the third worst in Middle-earth, the second being that of the Fairbairns of the Towers. During a recitation by their poet master, Flumbo the Corpulent, of his poem Ode to a small piece of green putty I found in my pipeweed one midsummer morning, seven of the audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Middle-earth Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing his own leg off. Flumbo was said to be 'disappointed' with the poem's reception, and was about to embark on his twelve-book epic My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles, when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilisation, leapt straight up his neck and throttled his brain. The worst poetry in Middle-earth died with its creator: Vogonwë Brownbark of the Minus Teeth Gazette, in a bizarre calligraphy accident. With sincere apologies to the late Douglas Adams, the later J.R.R. Tolkien, the unlate Diamond18, the staff of the OED and all writers of English, living or dead. __________________ Man kenuva métim' andúne? Last edited by The Squatter of Amon Rûdh; 02-05-2005 at 05:02 PM.

02-05-2005, 04:36 PM	#4
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Elrond's Guestbook: Mostly Harmless [edit] Know what, scratch that. Make it Elrond's Guestbook: Mostly Off-Topic [/edit] __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door Last edited by Oddwen; 02-05-2005 at 10:01 PM.

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