Hitchhiker's Guide to Middlearth - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

**The Saucepan Man** · 01-11-2005, 12:49 PM

Gimli: A short stocky fellow with an axe who inadvertently discovered the Meaning of Life at Helm's Deep.

Fordim Hedgethistle · 01-11-2005, 01:38 PM

Elves: Residents of Middle-earth; smarter than mice, but not quite so smart as dolphins. Now departed -- final message: "So long and thanks for all the. . .heck. . .thanks for nothing."

Hookbill the Goomba · 01-11-2005, 03:05 PM

Dwarven Poetry:

Dwarven poetry is among the most interesting in all of Middle Earth. Mostly it is a good selection of random mining songs that give dwarves the spirit to work on in their odd attempts to find riches. So it may be startling to discover that many of the dwarves who have written poetry that has been successful have ended up dieing in almost the exact same way.
Many dwarven bards write for enjoyment until their work is recognised by others. This can take several decades and most works will not be considered for reading without a request being filed and stamped. Stamped again and sent to the head office, lost, found, eaten by a Fell beast, re written and sent to the manager of the dwarodelf. Lost a second time, found again, stamped with shoes, lost AGAIN, and finally found at the bottom of a well some where in Khand.
Thus it is unsurprising that after several attempts at getting their work polished that Dwarves soon give up the will to exist and so stop. The freak and sudden inexistence of dwarven poets has lead to many followers of some work to complain about the way things are worked. This however is hardly successful as they are told to "Shhh!" by almost every one who meets them. And so as a result, they resort to, yes, none existence.

No one is quite sure why they do this, as it has absolutely no effect on the ecosystem of the Dwarves. Many of the wise agree that if we knew exactly why the dwarves did this, then we would know an awful lot more about Ea than we do now. But for now, you may wish to read our study of Elven rituals such as; Tease the Dwarven poet".

HerenIstarion · 01-11-2005, 05:46 PM

The Shire - the place were it is not advisable to go shopping once you need new epilating forceps.

Durelin · 01-11-2005, 05:55 PM

Bag End: One of the best places to find *leaf* induced laughter.

Lostgaeriel · 01-13-2005, 10:02 PM

Ropes: A rope is about the most massively useful thing any Middle-earth Hitch-Hiker can carry. For one thing it has great practical value – you can tie it around your Elven cloak for warmth and camouflage on the Plains of Gorgoroth, rappel down it from the top of the cliffs of the Emyn Muil, make a bridge out of it to cross the River Celebrant, make a halter for a sturdy little pony, make a ladder to climb a mallorn tree in the forest of Lothlórien, make an ankle leash for a miserable slinker, tie up an Elven boat on the shores of the great River Anduin, be hung on the end of it as a warning to numbskulls, and even make a swing from the mallorn tree in the Party Field for little Elanor if it still seems strong enough.

Lostgaeriel · 01-13-2005, 10:29 PM

Eowyn Wenhamir recommends reading the book(s) before watching the upcoming movie and old TV series. I would go one or two steps further. If you can find it, LISTEN to the recording (well, actually the re-recording) of the ORIGINAL RADIO PLAY.

tHHGttG was a BBC radio series first. I believe you can find the recording at one of those "music file sharing websites" - you know what I mean. Or your local library may have an old LP (vinyl) copy. Check with your local college or university radio station - they may have it - ask them to broadcast it - that's how I first heard it.

Failing that, the next best thing is to read

The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The Original Radio Scripts

by

DOUGLAS ADAMS

Edited, and with an Introduction

by Geoffrey Perkins

(who produced it)

With another introduction by

Douglas Adams,

Largely contradicting the one

by

GEOFFREY PERKINS.

Published by Pan Books, London & Sydney, 1985
ISBN 0-330-29288-9

My two parodies of tLotR in tHHGttG style can be found on this forum in Middle-Earth Discussions > Books > If LotR had been written by someone else!? at the top of page 2 and near the bottom of page 3.

Oh, yeah, it's spelled Slartibartfast.

01-11-2005, 12:49 PM	#1
The Saucepan Man Corpus Cacophonous Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A green and pleasant land Posts: 8,390	Gimli: A short stocky fellow with an axe who inadvertently discovered the Meaning of Life at Helm's Deep. __________________ Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!

01-11-2005, 01:38 PM	#2
Fordim Hedgethistle Gibbering Gibbet Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Beyond cloud nine Posts: 1,844	Elves: Residents of Middle-earth; smarter than mice, but not quite so smart as dolphins. Now departed -- final message: "So long and thanks for all the. . .heck. . .thanks for nothing." __________________ Scribbling scrabbling.

01-11-2005, 03:05 PM	#3
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Dwarven Poetry: Dwarven poetry is among the most interesting in all of Middle Earth. Mostly it is a good selection of random mining songs that give dwarves the spirit to work on in their odd attempts to find riches. So it may be startling to discover that many of the dwarves who have written poetry that has been successful have ended up dieing in almost the exact same way. Many dwarven bards write for enjoyment until their work is recognised by others. This can take several decades and most works will not be considered for reading without a request being filed and stamped. Stamped again and sent to the head office, lost, found, eaten by a Fell beast, re written and sent to the manager of the dwarodelf. Lost a second time, found again, stamped with shoes, lost AGAIN, and finally found at the bottom of a well some where in Khand. Thus it is unsurprising that after several attempts at getting their work polished that Dwarves soon give up the will to exist and so stop. The freak and sudden inexistence of dwarven poets has lead to many followers of some work to complain about the way things are worked. This however is hardly successful as they are told to "Shhh!" by almost every one who meets them. And so as a result, they resort to, yes, none existence. No one is quite sure why they do this, as it has absolutely no effect on the ecosystem of the Dwarves. Many of the wise agree that if we knew exactly why the dwarves did this, then we would know an awful lot more about Ea than we do now. But for now, you may wish to read our study of Elven rituals such as; Tease the Dwarven poet". __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

01-11-2005, 05:46 PM	#4
HerenIstarion Deadnight Chanter Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 4,244	The Shire - the place were it is not advisable to go shopping once you need new epilating forceps. __________________ Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time!

01-13-2005, 10:02 PM	#6
Lostgaeriel Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto the Good Posts: 477	I know where my rope is. Ropes: A rope is about the most massively useful thing any Middle-earth Hitch-Hiker can carry. For one thing it has great practical value – you can tie it around your Elven cloak for warmth and camouflage on the Plains of Gorgoroth, rappel down it from the top of the cliffs of the Emyn Muil, make a bridge out of it to cross the River Celebrant, make a halter for a sturdy little pony, make a ladder to climb a mallorn tree in the forest of Lothlórien, make an ankle leash for a miserable slinker, tie up an Elven boat on the shores of the great River Anduin, be hung on the end of it as a warning to numbskulls, and even make a swing from the mallorn tree in the Party Field for little Elanor if it still seems strong enough. __________________ Elen síla lúmenn’ omentielvo, a star shines on the hour of our meeting. Last edited by Lostgaeriel; 02-04-2005 at 01:25 AM.

01-11-2005, 05:55 PM	#5
Durelin Estelo dagnir, Melo ring Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,063	Bag End: One of the best places to find leaf induced laughter.

01-13-2005, 10:29 PM	#7
Lostgaeriel Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Toronto the Good Posts: 477	Eowyn Wenhamir recommends reading the book(s) before watching the upcoming movie and old TV series. I would go one or two steps further. If you can find it, LISTEN to the recording (well, actually the re-recording) of the ORIGINAL RADIO PLAY. tHHGttG was a BBC radio series first. I believe you can find the recording at one of those "music file sharing websites" - you know what I mean. Or your local library may have an old LP (vinyl) copy. Check with your local college or university radio station - they may have it - ask them to broadcast it - that's how I first heard it. Failing that, the next best thing is to read The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy The Original Radio Scripts by DOUGLAS ADAMS Edited, and with an Introduction by Geoffrey Perkins (who produced it) With another introduction by Douglas Adams, Largely contradicting the one by GEOFFREY PERKINS. Published by Pan Books, London & Sydney, 1985 ISBN 0-330-29288-9 My two parodies of tLotR in tHHGttG style can be found on this forum in Middle-Earth Discussions > Books > If LotR had been written by someone else!? at the top of page 2 and near the bottom of page 3. Oh, yeah, it's spelled Slartibartfast. __________________ Elen síla lúmenn’ omentielvo, a star shines on the hour of our meeting. Last edited by Lostgaeriel; 01-14-2005 at 08:24 AM.

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