New Movie Script

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I finally did something on time!

Anywhen, I noticed that the pages have somewhat . . . shifted. I tried to look for the problem, and I saw Meela's Council of Elrond post replaced with this:

To be re-added at a date. (Meela)

Ummm . . . we'll be waiting for that.

With all introductions done, I present my post:
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Gandalf (to Aragorn and Théoden): The fool of a Took won’t talk. I need to call . . . an old friend.

Patrick Stewart appears, riding a wheelchair.

Patrick Stewart: Hello, old friend.

Gandalf: Yeah, yeah. Just read his mind and then get back to shooting X-Men 3.

Mr. Stewart holds Pippin’s head, then concentrates.

Patrick Stewart: There is . . . nothing!

Legolas: You owe me twenty, Gimli.

Patrick Stewart: Wait, there’s something.

Gimli: Nope. You owe me fifty.

Patrick Stewart: I see . . . a child. My son with Arwen!

Arwen (offstage): Hey! That’s my line!

Aragorn: Do we really need him? Let’s just feed him to the Nazgûl and go.

Patrick Stewart: No, wait. I see . . . Sauron’s plans.

Gandalf: How do you know?

Patrick Stewart: It’s on the title bar. Duh?

Aragorn: What does it say?

Patrick Stewart:

Sauron's Plans

1. Destroy Minas Tirith.
2. Send black ships to do something.
3. Give Isildur’s Heir a bath.

Yup, That’s it,

Aragorn: Merciful Menel!

Meneltarmacil: *snork*

Gandalf (to Mr. Stewart): OK, that’s it. Go back to taping X-Men 3 or something. (to Aragorn and Théoden) Now we know the totality of Sauron’s plans. If Minas Tirith falls the Valar’ll have me scrubbing toilets the rest of my life. If the beacons of Rohan are lit, Rohan must be ready for war

Théoden: Tell me, why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours? What do we owe Gondor?

Gandalf: If you don’t go I’ll scrub the toilets with your face.

Aragorn: Théoden is too chicken. I will go.

Gandalf: No.

Aragorn: They must be warned.

Gandalf: They will be. (quietly to Aragorn) You must come to Minas Tirith by another road. Follow the River. Look to the black ships.

Aragorn: But it’s near the water. I’m afraid of the water.

Gandalf (ignoring Aragorn): Understand this, things are now in motion that cannot be undone . . .

Gimli: Here we go again . . . *takes out plastic bag full of earplugs, takes a pair, then hands the bag to the others*
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I just realised we wove in the Star Wars theme quite nicely into the script, and I hope that another theme will do the same.

Tchüss!