I smell cheeze.

[Sapphire_Flame]

Originally Posted by Oddwen

(The Sta-Puft Marshmallow orc.)

*dies laughing* Nice one, Oddwen!

I think the most cheezy lines come from Captain Obvious himself. Examples:

"A diversion!"

"Goblins!"

"The horses are restless, and the men quiet."

Woo! Captain Obvious™ strikes again! As Merry so eloquently said in the Stupid Ring Parody, "Thank you, oh wonderous elf, for your overwhelming ability to state the obvious. I am so not worthy of being in your presence." w00t.

Although, one of Eomer's lines really prompted an MST from me:

"That mountain is evil."

Saphy: Aw, that's what you said about all the mountains!

Eomer: *pouts* I just wanted some attention...

Then there are Aragorn's most cheezy lines:

"Legolas, what do your elf-eyes see?"

"Let's hunt some orc."

*sigh* Poor, poor guys. *patpats the purveyors of cheezy lines*

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[The Only Real Estel]

"What's this? A ranger caught of his gaurd?"

"Legolas! What do your elf eyes see?" ( thanks for the clarification there, Aragorn, for a second we'd forgotten he was elven )

The short jokes got really cheezy really fast.

"A diversion."

Unfortunately, the whole sequence following Frodo's awakening in Gondor near the end of RotK was pretty cheezy. From the "Gan-dalf?" line that Firefoot mentioned earlier, to the very fake sounding laughter he was forcing, to the incredibly wierd look he gives Sam when he comes in. It reeked of parmesan cheese 4 months past the expiration date.

[Lalaith]

My favourite cheesy Legolas line was:
"That is one of the Mearas, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell."

Don't know why, but it cracks me up every time.

A lot of Sam's speech at the end of the Two Towers made me wince. And Frodo/Elijah's portentous delivery of "tell us about Sam, dad, Frodo wouldn't have made it without him." Bleugh.

[Essex]

A lot of the so called 'cheesy' lines needed to be put in to explain to the movie goer details that Tolkien narrated.

PJ did not make Lord of the Rings just for us Book Snobs. He also wrote it for the 'non inititiated'. Live with it!!!!

Just a few points re the above.

'Let's hunt some orc'. I believe this is actually 'Let us hunt some orc', which gives it a different tone that is not 'modern' speech. This line was borrowed from TT when Aragorn explains to Eomer what he is doing.

'I am called Strider,' answered Aragorn. 'I came out of the North. I am hunting Orcs.

'A Ranger caught off his guard?' This gives the uninitiated some insight into who Strider is, but is also a nice addition to us Book Readers of Strider's history.

"Legolas! What do your elf eyes see?" The same as Arwen's line, it gives the non book watchers details that Elves have far superior eyesight. Aragorn could have used his original line 'Keen are the eyes of the Elves', but this is not a command. I put it to you, in context to the films, this would have sounded more 'cheesier' than the film version.

PS Firefoot, I feel sorry for you if you find the scene when Frodo awakes as Cheesy and hilarious. I found it moving.

[Rimbaud]

They give Bloom some real dud material, though he doesn't need to sound quite as stilted as he does.

Something that came to my attention, and in the way of such things, now annoys me when it crops up was the repeated phrasing 'This is no mindless rabble', 'This is no mine', 'This is no orc blood', 'this is no mere Ranger' etc.

However the orc hunting line takes the biscuit for being the most cheddar-like of the cheese. It's especially disappointing when you see the original text of the scene in comparison.

[Boromir88]

I'm surprised no one has said this one yet.

I see you!

With all the slamming of Legolas this one liner by the Witch-king might just be as bad. When he's standing over Theoden...

Die Now!

Reminds me of that corny movie Dark City where these vampirish looking people go around wave their hand and say "sleep," and the people pass out.

Of course I can't let Legolas go without getting another jab at him. When he's doing his Mumak slaying bonanza and counting kills, "34, 35, 36..etc." This is only bad because the fangurls in the theatre began counting with him, and when he was done counting they continued to count his kills....ugh.

Aragorn in TTT:

You have 2000 good men riding North as we speak. Eomer is loyal to you, he will return and fight for his king.

What I find corny about this is when Eomer and Aragorn met in the plains of Rohan (Movie) there were probably barely 100 riders, so somehow the Rohirrim must have some sort of cloning machine off star wars, and on top of the that Aragorn just knows they are up to 2000. Heck the Elves have Scotty's transporter beam, now the Rohirrim are making their own advances in technology.

Essex, I applaud you for defending the movies, however I didn't make this thread intending to downgrade PJ's movies, they were great movies. This is intended just for some cheezy lines, and sometimes cheezy is funny, heck I tell old corny jokes all the time .

[Elven-Maiden]

These are cheesy, but I love them to bits!

Aragorn: Gentlemen, we do not stop till nightfall.
Pippin: What about breakfast?
Aragorn: You've already had it.
Pippin: We've had one, yes. What about second breakfast?
Merry: I don't think he knows about second breakfast, Pip.
Pippin: What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?
Merry: I wouldn't count on it.


Gimli: Not the beard.


Frodo: I am Frodo Baggins, and this is Samwise Gamgee.
Faramir: Your bodyguard?
Sam: His gardener.


Legolas: (in Elvish) You're late.
Legolas: (in English)You look terrible.

Smeagol: ...and take it for ME.
Gollum: For us.
Smeagol: I meant for us

[Essex]

Boromir,

regarding your point on the cheesiness of 'Die Now' that the Witch King says to Eowyn.

This line was borrowed from the Witch King's line to Gandalf at the gates of Minas Tirith.

'Old fool!' he said. 'Old fool! This is my hour. Do you not know Death when you see it? Die now and curse in vain!'

So PJ cannot be blamed for that.

Therefore Tolkien has Cheesy Dialouge too..........

[Boromir88]

Then why doesn't he just say...

Do you not know Death when you see it? Die now and curse in vain!'

Instead of cutting the sentence in half with a cheezy Legolas liner "Die now." I don't see Tolkien as the cheeziness here because he just didn't end it with "Die Now!" Just doesn't sound right, reminds me of "Sleep (hand wave)." Which was just downright bad.

Edit: I'm sure if I look hard enough I can find corny lines Tolkien has too, in fact I know one.
"Shortcuts make for delays, but inns make for longer ones."
This I find really corny, but that good corny, sort of like your Grandpa's jokes, with that quirky sort of humor. Where "Die Now!," or "A Diversion!," or "I see you!" are just...bad.

[THE Ka]

Originally Posted by Boromir88

I'm surprised no one has said this one yet.


With all the slamming of Legolas this one liner by the Witch-king might just be as bad. When he's standing over Theoden...

Reminds me of that corny movie Dark City where these vampirish looking people go around wave their hand and say "sleep," and the people pass out.

Of course I can't let Legolas go without getting another jab at him. When he's doing his Mumak slaying bonanza and counting kills, "34, 35, 36..etc." This is only bad because the fangurls in the theatre began counting with him, and when he was done counting they continued to count his kills....ugh.

Aragorn in TTT:

What I find corny about this is when Eomer and Aragorn met in the plains of Rohan (Movie) there were probably barely 100 riders, so somehow the Rohirrim must have some sort of cloning machine off star wars, and on top of the that Aragorn just knows they are up to 2000. Heck the Elves have Scotty's transporter beam, now the Rohirrim are making their own advances in technology.

Essex, I applaud you for defending the movies, however I didn't make this thread intending to downgrade PJ's movies, they were great movies. This is intended just for some cheezy lines, and sometimes cheezy is funny, heck I tell old corny jokes all the time .

heh! Dark City! I love that movie! Cracks me up. But, it made my brother terrified. So, my friend once waited until he had left his room (he had been playing pong or mario for 10 hours without a bathroom break...) she hid in the darkness of his room and then jumped out and said "SLEEP!". My brother screamed (in his normal 5-year-old girl style...) and fell on the floor. It was funny until we thought he really "fainted" but, he was trying to trick us into thinking he did. oh, well. it was fun anyway.

Ok, time for cheezy scene...

When you first see frodo after the Arwen river-incident and his little bout with the Nazguls... It makes me laugh so much when they throw in that fakey looking "head towards the light" bit and you only see Elrond's talking head...

So funny.

~Pinotastic Ka~

[Oddwen]

Sam in Moria (the new Captain Obvious?)

Not new at all...Sam is the original. Leggy is just the copycat. If you will recall in TTT at the Black Gate, Sam leans too far out and "surfs" down the hill. This is far before Helm's Deep and Legolas's shield surfing move. (The only difference between the two is that Sam had a bad landing...)

It's like my Dad said. "They made Gollum too weak." Both of his monologues are very offensive to me. Especially the last:

"And they doesn't taste very nice, does they precious?
No. Not nice at all.........my love."

And especially...
"She always needs. To feed."
Yuck. Makes Shelob sound like some b-movie vampire...probably like this "Dark City" y'alls is talking about.