When You Are Oppressed, Or Ten Weighty Reasons for Teenagers and Their Parents

[Encaitare]

Fortunately, my parents are pretty cool. I work very hard in school (too much AP homework! ) so they let me do pretty much whatever I like to relax when I do have free time... and that time is, of course, spent online. Also fortunately, our internet fee is the fixed monthly rate = unlimited access! Yay! My dad is a pretty computer-savvy guy, so he doesn't mind me talking here. He just doesn't like me to go on the AOL chats, because that is where you get the creeps who want to "cyber," etc. I've never been not allowed to use the internet, lucky for me. I am quite wary of talking to strangers outside the Downs, through IMs and such, but I sometimes do if I have corresponded with the person before, or know they're wro they say they are.

The great thing about LotR and the Downs and all those wonderful creations is that it probably has served to keep me out of trouble. My parents did such a gret job of instilling a conscience in me that I feel awful if I lie to them and it comes out anyway. I've always been a geek/dork type too... when I was 6 I could tell you the name of almost every dinosaur that ever existed and whether it was from the Cretaceous or Jurassic or Triassic Period and all that. I told off a teacher once or twice for giving misinformation I'm not much of a party type... I really prefer to stay home and read or write.

So that's my fun story!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Try number two, after my initial loooong post got deleted by my early morning I'm-late-for-work rush...

My parents did such a great job of instilling a conscience in me that I feel awful if I lie to them and it comes out anyway. I've always been a geek/dork type too... when I was 6 I could tell you the name of almost every dinosaur that ever existed and whether it was from the Cretaceous or Jurassic or Triassic Period and all that. I told off a teacher once or twice for giving misinformation I'm not much of a party type... I really prefer to stay home and read or write

Kindred spirits, Encai? I am incapable of lying to my parents. Well, actually to rephrase, I can lie all I want, but they know when I'm doing it. Although I pride myself that if I'm supposed to keep my trap shut, they may know I'm lying, just have no clue what about. I've currently got the labels geek, nerd, dork, girly, sXe, and most recently, punk. I suppose that comes from my most recent erm... experiment, but I try to avoid labels. I do pride myself on nerd and sXe though... eh... my point is, when I was about 6, I was an avid reader and was also running around spouting out pointless information on dinosaurs, animals, and random other stuff. I've been known to correct teachers, and I can't understand why they get upset. I love when people correct me, because (A) it shows that they know their stuff, (B) it means I won't get it wrong again, and (C) it means they're paying attention.

My on topic point, however, is that, in my case, the internet issue is one of trust. My parents let me roam free on the internet because they trust that I won't do anything stupid. I like that trust, and so I won't break it.

Now if they were constantly suspicious and overbearing? I'd tell them less than if they just let me come to them. And if they checked the history or anything on me? That's entirely too much like invading my privacy, so I would, without question, leave them a few 'interesting' sites to run across just to blow their minds. Nothing I'd visit on my own, just sheer accidents of typos, or stuff that they'd certainly object to. It's like the kid who starts smoking weed because people already think he does. "Well if they're already thinking this, I may as well give them good reason to." That sort of thought process, only rather than actually visiting the sites, I'd just plant the weblinks here and there. (There should be an evil smily inserted right about here.)

Fea

[Encaitare]

Now if they were constantly suspicious and overbearing? I'd tell them less than if they just let me come to them. And if they checked the history or anything on me? That's entirely too much like invading my privacy, so I would, without question, leave them a few 'interesting' sites to run across just to blow their minds.

I agree, I think it's the fact that they trust me which makes me more responsible and less sneaky. Yes, I am considered to be "sXe" but I don't mind... a few friends have observed (on 4/20, quite fittingly) that they can't imagine me high or anything, probably because I'm messed up enough as is... I've also been told by someone that she thought I was a major prude; fortunately she said she was wrong!

And about being corrected, I feel the same way. If someone bothers to correct you, it shows at least they care enough to point it out. Plus, then you won't make the same mistake again... someone probably will point it out at some time, and possibly not so nicely either. I guess teachers don't like being told they're wrong by students who they think are so dumb and irresponsible...

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by Encaitare

I guess teachers don't like being told they're wrong by students who they think are so dumb and irresponsible...

As a former teacher ... it is usually more that you are having enough trouble trying to control a class who have already assessed you and found you wanting in all departments without being to made to look like an idiot onthe one thing you generally are in control of ie subject knowledge.... believe me I was a "good" student and after I started teaching I just wanted to grovel for every time I was a "smart alec" ..... teachers are contrary to popular belief human..... and have human feelings and failings .......... oh and if you ever spot one in a supermarket don't feel obliged to scream "that's my French teacher" with the modulation you might give to screaming "that's an alien from the planet Zog" .... . Funnily enough most people who go into teaching do so with good intentions... not because they hate adolescents ...that is a consequence of teaching not a cause....

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Yes, I am considered to be "sXe" but I don't mind... a few friends have observed (on 4/20, quite fittingly) that they can't imagine me high or anything, probably because I'm messed up enough as is...

Try being born at 4:20 PM. I NEVER should have let that one slip. One of my science classes in sophomore year (I took two courses that year because I like science and had too much free time on my hands) tried their absolute hardest to get me to get drunk with them. It was a year-long fiasco cumulating in me flipping out at them all, saying that they'd have to kill me, drag my corpse to the party, and funnel alcohol down my dead throat before it would happen.

it is usually more that you are having enough trouble trying to control a class who have already assessed you and found you wanting in all departments without being to made to look like an idiot onthe one thing you generally are in control of ie subject knowledge....

Oh my... it never occured to me, although you may not believe it. I actually feel really bad now... Like I said, I like to be proven wrong, because it means that I'm now correct, and that at least one person is paying attention. As for my asking tough questions... it's not to make the teacher look like a fool, its usually far more innocent than that. I just want to know, and since teachers (humans though they are, I suppose) are, in my occasionally humble opinion, the most brilliant people alive (why else would they be spreading the knowlege?), I usually assume that they'll know the answers, if anyone will.

oh and if you ever spot one in a supermarket don't feel obliged to scream "that's my French teacher" with the modulation you might give to screaming "that's an alien from the planet Zog" .... .

What if your French teacher just happens to be an alien from the planet Zog? Is it okay to scream the truth in that instance? All kidding aside, the only time I ever mention if someone is my teacher is if I like the person (as a person, or as a teacher, although I am aware that teachers are real people!). If I don't like the teacher and equate him with a Zoggian alien? That's when I turn and subtly melt into the crowd before said Zoggian sees me and I'm forced to politely converse with someone I don't like but have to deal with on a regular basis. I'd rather test out my casual disappearing skills at that point.

Funnily enough most people who go into teaching do so with good intentions... not because they hate adolescents ...that is a consequence of teaching not a cause....

I'm going into teaching, and already have a little experience, for all that I'm only 17. I like it, but I'd have to say ages 12 and under are a LOT more exhausting than adolescents.

You know, if any of your parents try to ban you from here, just use this line: "Yeah, Mom/Dad, but just look at all the stuff Fea and Encai just learned about the appropriate time to correct a teacher! Where else are they gonna learn that?"

Fea

[Encaitare]

Try being born at 4:20 PM. I NEVER should have let that one slip.

Oh, Fea, I can only imagine.

Funnily enough most people who go into teaching do so with good intentions... not because they hate adolescents ...that is a consequence of teaching not a cause....

Actually, Mith, I want to be a teacher! Music education all the way. And don't mistake me; some of my teachers are the coolest, nicest, and funniest people I know. I do see your point, though.

[The Saucepan Man]

Interesting thread, this.

I sometimes wonder how my parents would have felt about me being on the internet, had it been around when I was a kid. I suspect that my mother would have been extremely suspicious of it, given that she was a confirmed technophobe (she never even got the hang of programming the video recorder). In contrast, many parents these days, and certainly in the not too distant future, will have used the internet frequently themselves and therefore be able to take a sensible approach towards their children's use of it. As others have said, it is little different from real life - one simply needs to exercise a little common sense regarding the disclosure of personal details etc and it's totally safe. Indeed, it's clearly a lot safer way of meeting total strangers than in real life, given that those that you are speaking to are not physically present.

My own children are still too young to start surfing the web or joining forums. When they are a little older, though, I would personally have no reservations about them frequenting sites such as this. In fact, I hope that I will be able to trust them to use the internet with limited (parental) restrictions, although that will depend on me being able to trust them to use it safely and sensibly. Which in turn depends upon my wife and I properly educating them in this regard, plus their own inclination to behave responsibily. Well, we shall see ...

I agree with those who have pointed out that one should make sure of discharging real life obligations (homework, work, chores etc) before rewarding oneself with a Downs session. Although I will have to clean up my own act before preaching to my children on this, since there are times when I have spent far too much time here. Having said that, the demands of family, work etc clearly always come first for me (as my absence for most of the previous month testifies).

As for the comments made concerning parties, alcohol etc, I do feel some slight alarm at some of the more extreme positions that have been taken here. However enjoyable (and, in some respects, educational) the Downs might be, it can, to my mind, never match up to real life interaction. I hope that people aren't letting the extreme behaviour of those they see indulging in wild parties, drugs etc letting themselves be put off enjoying a healthy social life. You really don't have to go wild to have a good time, you know. As HerenIstarion says, most things are good in moderation (there goes Saucepan not practicing what he preaches again, as he works his way through a fine bottle of wine ).

One final (off-topic) thought. I find it amazing how much us Downers seem to share interests in common (in addition to Tolkien of course). Like Enca and Feanor, I was a complete dinosaur nerd in my younger years. By the age of 8, I had made up my mind to be a Paeleontologist, which was a never-ending source of confusion for those who asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. (Alas that I did not follow my childhood inclination.) And it's not just dinosaurs either. The Beatles' music and Monty Python both seem to present a common a link between many Downers too. Perhaps there is some explanation for a link between these things and Tolkien's works ...